Thomas Ray
May 14, 1955 – Jan. 21, 2015
Resident of San Jose
After a short illness Tom passed away peacefully surrounded by his loving family. He taught, he loved, he lived and now we hold him in our memories forever.
A memorial mass will be held Wednesday, January 28, 2015 at 11:00 a.m. at St. Anthony Catholic Church, 20101 McKean Road, San Jose, CA.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by San Jose Mercury News/San Mateo County Times on Jan. 25, 2015.

Memories and Condolences
for Thomas Ray

Sponsored by San Jose Mercury News.

32 Entries

Cal Ponzini

October 29, 2024

Met
Tom and Debbie at the river mouth with Joe Henry
We would play guitar and jam together
Joe and I always wondered where he was
We missed you and Tom so much the last forty plus years
Just found out Tom passed
The greatest guy

Thea Tirri-Dolmatch

January 19, 2021

Debbie and Family xo I think of you all often and Tom...with his goofy LOVEABLE antics....totally smiling and greeting us all like seeing us again was the BEST thing ever. I try hard to take his joyful spirit with me everyday and I LOVE YOU ALL xo Thinking of you with love...always xo Thea and family

Dana Dinno

January 19, 2021

Dear Debbie and Family. Thinking of you all on this anniversary. Sending prayers and virtual hugs. May all your wonderful memories comfort you at this time. ❤ Love Dana Dinno and family

December 31, 2019

It's 5 years past and still the pain of loss is as sharp as the minute you took your last breath. Sometimes it seems like you're close and that brings comfort, but mostly I cry because I miss you so much. I still wear my wedding ring because I never want to let you go. The ring is a reminder that one day a long time ago you put it there because we were in love and so we tied our hearts together, forever.

I pray that you are close and that you see how beautiful our children have grown. I know you would be so proud. Tommy, please stay with us and guide us as best you can. I will continue to look for you. You are my soulmate and I will always love you.

2020 is hours away and when the clock strikes midnight I will remember the man I married and the man I will love forever.

Your wife and soulmate, Debbie

July 21, 2016

Debbie,

As I moved to SF some years ago, I've lost track of what is happening in the South Bay. While catching up on what the kids from Emma's ACS class are doing now, she told me about Tom's passing.

Needless to say, I was quite shocked and saddened. The Rays were one of my favorite ACS families. And Tom was easily my favorite ACS Dad.

I often think of the times we took the girls to volleyball games, and when he and I took the kids from Emma's class up to the camp near Petaluma. He went out of his way to see that they all got there, and had a good time. He was such a generous guy.

Emma and I have wonderful memories of those days at ACS...and especially of the Rays.

Hope you are all well, and will continue to be so.

Sincerely,

Kent MacMaster

Barbara Jones

January 31, 2016

I thought of you and the family a lot yesterday, Tom. Becky has now let me know that you and she have found each other and are at peace. This summer I will be visiting Tim and Cindy, and we will surely reminisce about you.

I hope the family is all well and doing OK.

I miss your exhuberance. Barb

Debbie Ray

January 30, 2016

There hasn't been one day that has passed this year that I haven't missed you. Everywhere I look and everywhere I go I expect to see your face. The pain of lose is indescribable. You're not here to share life with us and there is still so much to share. You would've loved the events of this year. You would've been so proud of the family you left. We all love you so much. We speak your name as if you were still here because we want to believe that you are. I miss your music and I often go to your music room to hear tunes in my heart.

Tom, you are in my heart and I dream that you are well and happy. When it is my turn to leave this earth I pray you are the first face I see. You are the love of my life.

ginger curnutt

February 9, 2015

So sorry to hear of Tom's passing we were friends in High School and he always stopped by to say hi when he was at Leo's house. Tom loved life and his family he will truly be missed and a loss for all of us from Branham High School.

February 7, 2015

Debbie, Girls and Family;
We were ssoooo shocked to hear of Toms passing!!!! Our thoughts and prayers are for all of you that you will find strength and healing in all of the wonderful memories you hold close in your hearts. A life very well lived and one lost wayyyyy too soon! All our love The Dinno Family

January 31, 2015

To Tom's family, I met Tom through my brother while going to Branham High. Tom & I had an art class together. I remember Tom always being so sweet to me and we were always laughing about something. Even though ours lives took us in different directions Tom Ray was one person I never forgot. He left me with smiling memories. You will be missed Tom Ray.

January 30, 2015

Dear Debbie,
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Tom was a wonderful person and I enjoyed working with him at Bermo. He always made my work related trips to California enjoyable.
May you find peace and comfort through Gods love and lasting memories of Tom.
Pat Pearson

January 29, 2015

Dear Debbie and Family, Tom was our friend from childhood. Most of us met him in Jr. High at Dartmouth. We all loved him very much and feel so fortunate to have spent some time with him at the 40th reunion. My brother used to surf with Tom and they would hang out and listen to music. It's silly but I read my Jr. High diary the other night and Tom was on every other page. Most of my entries were about Tom teasing us girls! I will always remember his smile and that twinkle in his eye. I am so sorry for your loss. May God comfort your family now and always. With love, Cindy (Kent) Cook (Grand Junction, CO) and Steve Kent (San Jose, CA)

January 27, 2015

Dear Tom,
I hope that you can read all these messages that have been sent before mine. There is truth in each one of them. The world we live in will be a much poorer place without you. You were one of those few people who could light up a room with your magnanimous personality. You were always full of ideas and most of them were good and always generous. I'm sorry we didn't spend more time together. Maybe, next time.

Your friend, Ed de Jong

Bruce & Billie Jean Hickey

January 27, 2015

This was Tom's favorite picture from our wedding in 1985 where he was the best man. None of us could remember why we looked so serious, but Tom sure made us laugh about it later :) His smile always brought joy to the lives he touched.
We met Tom and Debbie in 1984 and we instantly became friends, and we were married at almost the same time that they were. A group of us formed a band called The Spectacles - Tom played guitar and sang and you couldn't help but love the guy!
We miss you Tom and we'll cherish all our memories of time we spent with you.
To the Ray Family, please accept our condolences. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Barbara Jones

January 27, 2015

I'll miss your laugh, your support, and your stories. You were neither my brother nor my son, but a little bit of both as family.

Al Gerbino

January 26, 2015

good times at eagle lake Tom...youll be missed

Greg Swift

January 26, 2015

Tom, Sorry about this news. We had a lot of fun in our school days. I will never forget all of those times. It was great to see you at our HS reunion in 2013. You looked great. Love the short hair on you. Haha... RIP my friend. We all love you... Greg Swift.

January 25, 2015

It's so hard to hear about Tom, Linda and I would always call him to see where the parties were, he was a genuine, thoughtful and fun. -Ronnie OBoy

January 25, 2015

Debbie & Family,
We are shocked and extremely saddened to hear of Tom's passing. I regret that we let so many years go by without keeping in touch; unfortunately life got in the way. The good times, the Music, the Band and Tom, will always hold a special place in my heart. I will always remember it. It was a lot of fun and so was Tom. Rock on, Tom.
Casey & Anne McQuillin

Judy Yeager

January 25, 2015

I remember Tom from our youth- so funny, fun and had that gift of relating to everyone. I am saddened by hearing this. My condolences to you and your family. The world has lost a great person.

Mary Hall

January 25, 2015

I didn't know Thomas very well but he was my lovely niece's husband. She loved him dearly as did his children. May he rest in peace. My thoughts and prayers are with the family

Lani and Jay Deimling

January 25, 2015

We're so sorry to hear of Tom's passing. He was a wonderful person with a wonderful family. I used to chase him around during recess at Lietz! May he rest in peace and may God bless your family.

John Gates

January 25, 2015

Very sorry to hear about Tom's passing.
Tom was a great guy. A little shocked.
Condolences to your family I knew how important they were to you and how much you will be misssed.

Jeanne Lichtenstein

January 25, 2015

I can honestly say that I never saw Tom without a smile on his face and a kind thought for those around him. A true family man with a heart of gold, he will be sorely missed. Please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Jeanne Lichtenstein

January 24, 2015

Debbie and family-
I don't even know where to begin to express my sorrow for your loss. I just feel so bad for all of you and am sending my prayers and love to you all. You were blessed to have each other in your lives and I send blessing for your future as you move on. Cherish the memories and he will always be with you.
Love, Debbie and Ric Ryan

Karen, and children

Karen Shaheen

January 23, 2015

I'm sorry for the passing of one of our classmates. I never knew you even though we were the class of 1974, but would like to pay my condolences to the Ray family. May Thomas rest in peace in the arms of our Lord. Karen Shaheen

Roger Papesh

January 23, 2015

You will be sorely missed by all that met you. You were the concerned, involved father. The respected business success, and greeted all into your life with exceptional hospitality. My deepest sympathy to the Ray family.

January 23, 2015

My thoughts and prayers are with the family. Tom was a beautiful person and will be missed
Karin Dillon Garcia

Ken Champaign

January 23, 2015

Sorry to hear of this news . . .Tom was a mentor to me at Branham HS . . . .I will say a prayer for the family on their loss. . .

January 23, 2015

Precious Ray Family xo Words can't touch the sorrow in our hearts. Debbie, you and Tom have always been an AMAZING COUPLE, raising such a beautiful family and sharing your love with all of us. Tom was and always will be to me, so light heartily funny, warm, sassy and just a FORCE xo WE are thinking of you all and sending you love, prayers of peace and the ease of remembering the everyday beauty of your lives together xo always and then some xo thea, david, kayte and alex

Darling Fischer Chapel of the Hills

January 24, 2015

Offering our deepest condolences during this difficult time.

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