David Murphy Smith

David Murphy Smith, age 85, passed away December 31 in Providence, RI. Dave was a sweet, curious intellectual; a runner; and a man who took sincere interest in anyone he met.

He was born March 2, 1940, in Lynn, MA, and faced early challenges. After birth, because of a staph infection, he lost full hearing in one ear; then when he was 2 years old, his father, Neil Murphy, passed away. His mother, Claire Reardon, married Edwin Smith, who adopted Dave. Two beloved sisters joined the family: Gail (Campos) and Jane (McWane). Their mother died of cancer when Dave was 17.

After graduating Bowdoin College and Columbia Law School, Dave moved to Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and was set up on a blind date with Barbara Pate from Burnsville, NC. The two eloped in 1971. They had two children, Deborah and Michael, and moved to Charlotte in 1977. Dave parented with gusto and deep devotion, and modeled open and loving conversation. He cheered his kids on during sports with the inexplicable cry, "How to go!"

He was a Charlotte City Attorney until 2004, known for changing clothes in his office and running 4 miles home most afternoons. He ran the Charlotte and Boston marathons. Dave felt that instead of practicing law he should have been a teacher or attended seminary; he was interested in different faith traditions and valued learning and contemplation. He once stayed at a Trappist monastery but cut his visit short when the monks' vows of silence meant he could not chat with them about their spirituality.

Dave attended the Unitarian Universalist Church in Charlotte, where he formed a dear group of friends that lasted decades. He officiated several marriages, including his children's: Deborah and Christine Montross in 2002, and Mike and Leslie (Rubin) in 2004. He loved and treated Leslie and Christine as if they were his own daughters.

In 2012, Dave and Barbara moved to Providence, RI, to be closer to Deborah's family, including grandchildren Maude and Calder, whom he adored and took on famous "Granddad Adventures." He celebrated their every interest; literally applauded when they would tell him about the events in their lives; and encouraged them to boldly chase their passions with his mantra of "You fly!"

Dave became an extraordinary caretaker for Barbara as she endured a long journey with Alzheimer's Disease, eventually dying earlier in 2025.

When Parkinson's Disease made his daily activities challenging, he moved to Wingate Residences on the East Side and his friendliness was well known by staff and residents, whom he got to know in equal measure. He was commonly seen reading the morning newspapers or writing short fiction and memoir essays.

Though he struggled with hearing his entire life, he was a uniquely wonderful listener. He delighted in getting to know people, always asking earnest and thoughtful questions. His family believed there was not a single person that he didn't like, as he focused on the best in others, and offered all genuine kindness and support.

His final spoken word was "love," and that is his great and enduring gift to us.

A celebration of Dave's life will be held Sunday, January 25, at 2 pm at the First Unitarian Church of Providence, Rhode Island.

In lieu of flowers, please donate to Dave's beloved places: the Hamilton House (HistoricHamilton.org) and Gordon School (GordonSchool.org).