Elizabeth "Betty" Decker

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Elizabeth "Betty" Decker died peacefully in her sleep on February 4th after a long life of 95, almost 96, years full of love and vitality. She was known as a woman who was very thoughtful, strong and truthful.

Betty was born on March 11th, 1930 in Flushing, New York to William and Gertrude Ellard. She was the eldest of their three children, followed by William Jr. and Patricia.

From a young age, she was very active. She loved taking long walks on the beach and gathering seashells, which you could find all over her house. She loved biking around the neighborhoods she was in and you could find her any day out on her rowboat.

Betty attended Marymount Manhattan College in New York City where she obtained a Bachelor's degree in Biology, which was unusual for women at that time. She used her degree to work as a lab technician for Roche Biomedical. She retired as a supervisor.

She was married to Charles Jason Decker on October 11th, 1952 at Saint Andrew's in Flushing, NY. They spent their honeymoon in Bermuda. He lovingly called her Red, due to her red hair and fiery personality. Her favorite story to tell was the first time they met. She was scheduled to go on a double date, and when she came down the stairs, Charlie said "I'm going to marry that girl" and his friend said "that's my date!" The couple enjoyed travelling together throughout the US, including Hawaii and the Grand Canyon.

She raised 7 children in Rockville Center, a daughter, Barbara, and 6 sons; Jay, Bobby, Billy, Richard, Tommy and Chris. This was obviously a chaotic home, but one filled with love. To control the nine people with one bathroom conundrum, she had a timed schedule when the bathroom could be used to get ready, she was the "warden of the bathroom." The boys even hid a dog, Tanya, in the attic, which she had converted into a bedroom that most of her boys shared. Her most famous line was "wait until your father gets home." To this day, Betty inspired a loyalty and connection between her children.

She spent her winters in Florida, visiting her children that settled in the state and she had a time share in Fort Meyers, and she loved her time there. She would spend hours during her time "down there" playing cards. Spite and Malice & bridge were her favorites. She played with friends and family, teaching her grandchildren how to play both.

In her later years, she enjoyed travelling to Europe. A particular highlight was the tulip fields in the Netherlands, which she described in great detail to her family and friends. She took a river cruise on the Rhine river through Germany with her daughter. Betty enjoyed stopping in the different cities and going shopping for souvenirs for her grandchildren.

Betty spent a lot of time at Roger's Memorial Library in Southampton. She loved to read and was a part of the board. She volunteered at the library's book sale every Wednesday. She passed on her love of reading to many of her grandchildren.

She was known by her many grandchildren as the "cool Grandma." Grandma's house was a gift to all, you always felt safe to explore and stay at Grandma's. She hosted many out-of-state grandchildren in her home for the summer. Their summers were spent by her pool and her seashore with her grandchildren playing in the water. She taught them how to row on her rowboat, "Red." Her grandchildren were particularly helpful with things like missions to the crawlspace to retrieve something she needed and in the fall raking her leaves; she was very good at delegating tasks. Her Granddaughters were known as "Betty's girls" and she enjoyed taking each of them to NYC to attend dance recitals, Broadway shows and Rockefeller Center to see the tree at the holidays.

She enjoyed taking her grandchildren to Sip N' Soda in the village, getting chocolate milkshakes; along with lunches and dinners at Fellingham's in Southampton with her children and grandchildren.

One of her great joys in life was getting to meet and spend time with her nine great-grandchildren.

Her 4th of July parties were world-famous, the whole big family, dubbed her crew, would attend the Southampton Village parade and then return to her home in the Southampton Cove for a BBQ, a lot of swimming and later, a fireworks show over Fish Cove. Many times, her sons nearly lit her beloved tree that hung over the cove on fire.

Her dedication was not confined to her family alone; it also bloomed in her beautiful gardens. Her love for gardening was more than a hobby - it was a deeply fulfilling passion. Just as she nurtured her family with unwavering care, she tended to her garden with patience and love. Her hands, always busy caring for others, were equally at home in the soil, nurturing life and creating beauty for all of us to enjoy.

To know Betty was to love her.

She was predeceased by her husband of 47 years, Charlie; and her brother & sister; Bill & Patty.

She is survived by her seven children, Jay, Bobby, Barbara (Larry), Billy (Sue), Tommy, Richard & Christopher; her seventeen grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.