Ella Pearl Lancaster

At 4 a.m. March 26, Ella Lancaster passed peacefully and quietly from this world to heaven, surrounded by her four children. She was 89.

Ella Pearl Broaddus was born November 19, 1934, in Wagoner, the third daughter of Todd Monroe and Clevlie Effilee (Lawrence) Broaddus. A lifelong resident of Wagoner, most of her early life was spent on the farm where she worked hard and played hard, once breaking her arm when she fell off a horse. The same day the cast was removed, she fell off the slide and broke it again!

She attended Wagoner schools and became known as one of the most beautiful girls in town, catching the eye of one handsome and sought-after young Bob Lancaster. When he saw her, Bob told his friends, "I'm going to marry that girl." And he did on June 14, 1953, soon after her graduation from Wagoner High School. Their marriage produced four children, 11 grandchildren and, at the time of her passing, 21 great-grandchildren, three of them named after her.

Bob was the love of Ella's life, and together they faced the many joys and trials that were to come.

Ella was born with an inner compass guiding her to choose love, harmony, and forgiveness. She unwittingly became the family matriarch at the age of 20 when she wrote a letter counseling an older feuding couple to "find a way to stop arguing and just enjoy each other." She remained the family touchstone for wisdom.

Ella spent her early married life raising her lively and athletic children, going to countless football games, wrestling matches, school functions and church activities. She taught her children to work hard, to love generously and to make the world better for others. Ella and Bob raised their children believing the scripture Proverbs 22:6, "Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it."

She applied her relentless work ethic and creativity to taking care of her family. She was an exceptional cook, inventing the ice cream cake well before Baskin-Robbins presented it to the world. She made common dishes - fried chicken, mashed potatoes, pork chops, chicken and dumplings - into unforgettable creations.

A centerpiece of life for the Lancaster family was participation at First Baptist Church of Wagoner. Ella affectionately became known for her garlic bread she made for Wednesday night fellowship dinners, which sent out enticing aromas all the way from the kitchen to the pulpit or from the pulpit to the back row, depending on which way the wind was blowing! Ella and Bob were nursery directors where they continued to share their love with children. Bob would tell the boys they would become big and strong when they wore cowboy boots! Ella remained a member long after Bob passed away until her health prevented her from attending, yet the memories made at First Baptist stayed in her heart.

In 1972, Ella began a 36-year career with Wagoner County as a deputy to Court Clerk Charles Jeffers. She moved in 1987 to assist County Commissioner Larry Hall before returning to the Court Clerk Sue Well's office in 1992 until 2008, when she retired at 73. Ella loved the bustle of the courthouse and the precision required as Deputy Court Clerk. She was commended at her retirement by State Senator Mary Easley for her "productive and innovative work" and by her colleagues for her great knowledge. And, of course, her co-workers loved her.

In 1977, Ella and Bob faced their most difficult challenge when Bob was diagnosed with leukemia, a relatively unknown disease at that time. Ella walked every step of the 13-year journey of unknowns with her beloved Bob, taking exceptional care of him while continuing to raise her family that by now included grandchildren, tending her parents and other family, and working at the courthouse. She carried these responsibilities for years with grace and without complaint, learning to depend on the scripture I Peter 5:7, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you."

Bob passed in 1990, and he remained the love of her life. More than 30 years after his death, she still dreamed of him and mourned his passing.

Ella's love of family and her unwavering faith in God helped her cope with Bob's death. She was a resolute prayer warrior whose prayer list with the names and needs of every family member and many friends was presented daily to God. She always had a prayer ready, even when she wasn't asked. She just knew.

In addition to matriarch, Ella was the family historian. She remembered names, dates, events, relationships of both Broaddus and Lancaster families over six generations.

She retained her remarkable memory throughout her life, knowing the birthdates, anniversaries and endeavors of each grandchild, great-grandchild and family member. When she was no longer able to attend each event, Ella embraced her iPhone and Facebook to stay current with her ever-expanding family. She installed an app that tracked weather forecasts for each family member who didn't live in Wagoner.

She was fiercely proud of the diverse accomplishments and talents of the generations of Lancasters who came after her that included business owners and leaders, champion athletes, innovative managers, excellent students, healthcare professionals, teachers, artists and designers, cheerleaders, firefighters, coordinator of a church's food-aid program, even two great-granddaughters who raise championship livestock and a granddaughter who works at Notre Dame University.

Ella cherished every member of her family and made a point to show them her love. She was always there for celebrations yet never flinched in crisis. She looked for ways for peace and love to flourish. She didn't seek spotlight for herself, choosing to divert attention to others. She always had more room in her heart to love.

Our beloved matriarch - wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin, friend - was our linchpin to stitch us all together, our touchstone and anchor. Her passing leaves a gap in our hearts and lives that no one else could fill. We already miss her sweet smile and kind words and will always be so grateful for her beautiful presence throughout our lives.

Her great legacy and the rich inheritance she leaves are her unfailing compass toward harmony and forgiveness, her faith in God, her great appreciation of fun and laughter, her determination to work hard, her ability to walk steadily through profound crisis and grief, her generosity and her immoveable commitment to love.

The last words Ella spoke on this earth were to her four children: "I love you so much. I want you all to stay in contact with each other and remain a family. And just remember, I'm still the boss!"

Ella was preceded in death by her parents, two sisters, Norma Jean Broaddus and Helen June (Broaddus) Bunney VonAspe, her daughter-in-law Mary Walters Lancaster and the love of her life, Robert Euel Lancaster who passed away January 23, 1990.

She is survived by four children, Chris Lancaster of Wagoner, Janis and Mark (husband) Cohlmia of Tulsa, Billy and Cathy (wife) Lancaster of South Haven, Michigan, and Lance and Melissa (wife) Lancaster of Wagoner; eleven grandchildren, Josh and Dawn (wife) Lancaster of Aubrey, Texas, Jedd and Angie (wife) Lancaster of Wagoner, Jordan Lancaster of Wagoner, Heather and Ramsey (husband) Strube of Mount Pleasant, Texas, Cassie and Andy (husband) Zanovich of Tulsa, Lauren and Jamie (husband) Allen of Tulsa, Christopher and Rebecca (wife) Lancaster of Columbia, South Carolina, Robert and Missy (wife) Lancaster of South Haven, Michigan, Jacob and Sarah (wife) Lancaster of Saint Joseph, Michigan, Paige and Alex (husband) Raymond of South Haven, Michigan, and Brooke and Travis (husband) Wilson of Fort Gibson; and twenty-one great-grandchildren, Walker, Lynni, Sophie, Bella, Olivia, Zoie, Caroline, Ryan, Charlie, Cameron, Jake, William, Turner, Rhett, Wade, Addilynn, Mariella, Bridget, Hadlee, Kaylee, Brixlee and a baby boy arriving in July. Helen's children are as close to her as her own and they are; nephew Mike and Kristie (wife) Bunney, and niece Susan and Andy (husband) Tomlinson; as well as cousins, nieces, nephews and many friends.

A Visitation will be held on Friday, April 5 from 5 to 7 pm at Mallett Funeral Home Chapel. The Celebration of Life Service will be at 10 a.m. Saturday, April 6 at New Beginnings Church in Wagoner. Ella will be laid to rest beside her beloved husband, Bob, in Elmwood Cemetery.