Joe Henry Pate

There are those people in life that no matter how long you know them or are with them you want just a little more time. Joe was one of those people.
Joe lived a full life. He was a humble man of integrity, honesty and ready to give or help others. He was an athlete, soldier, successful businessman, mentor, softball coach and eternally an OU Football fanatic. Joe was a friend to many but what he enjoyed the most in life was being a husband to Ethel, a father to David and Lynda, and "Peepaw" to their grandchildren, Andrew, his wife Amanda; Lee Ann, her husband Justin; Billy; and Brittany, her fiancé Clay; and especially to their great grandchildren, Katie and Conner.
Joe grew up in a modest home filled with family, fun and love. He learned practical skills, dedication to family and country and a strong work ethic from his Dad. His Mom was the heart of the family, strong in her faith in Jesus and love for her children. She was tiny but mighty and you "didn't cross Mom." Perhaps that is where Joe learned to communicate with words, make a point and we learned you "didn't cross Dad" either.
He was always a doer and a worker. As a young boy he would help at his parents' grocery store and drove a milk truck even before he had a drivers license. During college he had a newspaper route to pay for his college education.
One summer during his youth he attended Falls Creek Baptist Youth Camp where he met the love of his life, Ethel Greenwood. That summer at camp set the course for the life they were to share together.
Joe served in the US Army during World War II. His unit was scheduled to deploy and be involved in the Battle of the Bulge but due to a change in his orders he was sent to school to be a radio operator. He once remarked, "they gave me a test and I must have done well to be sent to the school. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or that I was better than the others, I wasn't." Joe was a humble man, never wanting to raise himself above others. Following his training he was stationed in the Aleutian Islands.
To avoid waiting 3 more months for Joe to be discharged from the Army, Ethel made a 3-day train trip to Seattle, Washington to meet Joe. They had been engaged for 3 years during the war. Joe and Ethel were married on April 13, 1946, at the West Seattle Christian Church and spent their honeymoon in Victoria, British Columbia. One of their favorite memories was spending their fortieth wedding anniversary in the same honeymoon suite at the Empress Hotel in Victoria, B.C. For their 50th anniversary David and Lynda hosted a celebration for them with their family and friends. Dr. J. Clyde Wheeler, the pastor who was to have performed their original ceremony, performed a "family" renewal for Joe, Ethel, their children, and grandchildren, making it a special memory for the whole family. There wasn't any place Joe loved to be more than with Ethel. The high school sweethearts were still holding hands every chance they got, even after 75 years of marriage. Joe's love and dedication to "Sugs," as he called her, was evident each day. Especially during the latter days of her life when her health was challenging, his love was never ending.
After his discharge from the Army, Joe and Ethel began their family life here in Oklahoma. He was a student at the University of Oklahoma, and she was the church secretary at Crown Heights Christian Church.
Joe graduated from OU in 1948 with a master's degree in Geological Engineering and began his decades-long career in the oil and gas industry.
They began their family life in Ardmore, then to Tulsa and finally settling in Oklahoma City. Joe was always active. As a career man sitting on wells to read the reports and to advise the drilling, traveling internationally for his work responsibilities, coaching church softball, working with his hands building a "cement pond and waterfall" for the goldfish, vacationing with Ethel around the United States and Europe, on cruises to the Caribbean and Panama, fishing at Lake Murray and most of all just being with his family.
In later years, after he hung up his softball glove and coach's hat, he began building dollhouses. He built one for Ethel, and together they "decorated" it. Shopping and always on the look out for that little special thing that would make even a dollhouse a home. These were not just little homes, they were "works of art." One of the many he made won the 1st place blue ribbon at the Oklahoma State Fair in 1990. He made many for others too, just asking them to go and buy the house they wanted, then giving his time for free to build a dollhouse for them. His favorite ones were the ones he made for "his girls," Ethel, Lynda, LeeAnn, Brittany, and Katie.
Joe and Ethel spent many years working with the youth at their church. Many of the youth, now adults, have shared memories of their love and appreciation for the Pates; and the example they set for them while they were under their watchful care in youth group. They set an example of how a godly, loving marriage and family could be. You could see Joe and Ethel's hearts and example of love and caring for their family as you watched their kids return that love to both of them through the care they gave them during their later years.
We can't talk about Joe without mentioning one of his favorites "top of the list" fun things that combined his love for sports and his loyalty to Oklahoma University. Joe and Ethel were crimson and cream through and through. They loved their school and supported the teams for decades, no matter if it was a great "national championship" year or one of those few years you would like to forget. David and Joe were always checking the recruiting, who's coming, who's going, what are the stats and anything that related to OU sports.
One of Lynda's favorite memories of her Dad is also connected to her Dad's love of sports. The Pates were always together in spirit and support for the church softball team that Joe coached for several years. During one particular game, David ran from 3rd base, sliding into home plate headfirst. The catcher for the opposing team, in an unchristian-like manner, displayed his disapproval of the run, even though David was thrown out at home plate. He threw the softball directly on David's back. Lynda, the scorekeeper, leaped up from her seat on the bleachers with words flying and Mom holding on to her shirt tail. Joe, in his quiet authoritative manner, raised his hand signaling Lynda to stand down as he went to visit with the umpire. Their conversation was the umpire's instructions to the coach to get his team quieted down and play ball. Joe, being a man who respected authority, called his team to the pitcher's mound preparing to give the correction and direction given to him by the umpire. Fortunately, the umpire could only see Joe's instructions to his team and not hear his words. As Joe began to look sternly at his team, shaking his finger directly at them he gave them these instructions. "Ok guys, the umpire told me to get you calmed down, under control and to play ball. So, look like I'm doing that with your heads in agreement and your face in remorse for your actions and words. But what I really want to know is where do you all want to go to eat after the game?"
How do you say goodbye to someone who has always been in your life? As a Christian, you never have to say goodbye. We have the promise of eternal life in heaven with those who have accepted Jesus as their Savior. So today we are just coming together to say to our Dad, Peepaw, Uncle, friend we know how happy you are right this moment holding hands and waltzing together again with the love of your life, Ethel, seeing your Mom, Dad and siblings, friends from college and the Army. So even though we will miss you for a little while, this is not "good-bye." We will just say, "we love you and we will see you later!"
The services for Joe will be held at Mercer-Adams Funeral Service, 3925 N Asbury, Bethany, OK. The viewing for family and friends will be Monday, November 7 from 7:00pm to 8:00pm. The service to celebrate Joe's life will be Tuesday, November 8 at 2:00pm. Burial will follow the service at Memorial Park Cemetery, Edmond, OK.
The Celebration Service will be webcast and available to view on this obituary page.