John R. Lilly

It is said of John R. Lilly that he took an interest in every person he met. He passed away at age 91, at his home in Walpole, Massachusetts, surrounded by his loving family. 

Born in Stoneham, Massachusetts on January 18, 1933, he was the son of George and Eleanor Louise (Hamlin) Lilly. Education was very important to John throughout his life. Following graduation from Melrose High School in 1951, as the first in his family to go to college, he attended the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, earning a B.A. in History. During his time there, he developed an intense interest in helping others and was inspired to join the ministry. This led him to embark on a further educational journey, at Boston University’s School of Theology. He earned a Master of Divinity degree and then immediately pursued a PhD in Social Ethics while serving as a Pastor at the South Walpole United Methodist church. After John completed all of his PhD coursework, Bishop James Mathews offered him an ambitious assignment: to start a new church in Boston that would combine multiple disparate congregations. It proved too important to pass up. John left his dissertation unfinished in order to start Old West Church near Boston’s government center, where he succeeded in creating a warm and welcoming community. 

John’s eagerness to make a difference in the world was also driven in part by making Martin Luther King, Jr.’s acquaintance while at Boston University and becoming involved in the Civil Rights Movement. John ultimately attended numerous marches with Dr. King, including the famous 1963 march on Washington. John’s interest in social ethics would drive a life-long devotion to promoting civil rights and social justice. 

John subsequently served as pastor of multiple churches – in Brookline, Newton and Lexington supported by his beloved wife Shirley, whom he married in 1958. In 1970, John made a bold career change to work at the Foxboro Company, then a Fortune 500 company. But he never stopped caring about people or trying to make a difference in their lives. He ended up running the company’s educational services department and then eventually transitioned to an organizational development/industrial psychology role, being dispatched around the globe to solve conflicts, relying on his pastoral counseling skills, and ultimately ending his career there working for the office of the president, liaising with key figures in Washington, D.C. 

Following a stint as an executive career coach at Right Management Associates in Providence, John returned to the church. He and Shirley had been very active members of United Church in Walpole, which they ultimately attended for 40+ years, and he was persuaded to transfer his credentials from the Methodist church to the United Church of Christ. He became the Minister of Pastoral Care at the First Congregational Church in Natick, serving with his good friend, Reverend Victoria Alford Guest. And recently he was named Pastor Emeritus of United Church in Walpole. 

Even when he wasn’t a full-time pastor, John always gave back, often by mentoring new pastors. And one of his great joys was speaking each year with the recipients of the Rev. John R. Lilly Endowed Scholarship Fund at Boston University School of Theology, which was established in his honor by the Lilly family, through The SJL Foundation. The endowed scholarship will ensure that future theology students have the resources necessary to benefit from the opportunities made possible through a Boston University education in both their faith and their academic endeavors. 

It was not all work for John. Travel was one of John’s many passions. Throughout their 66-year marriage, John and Shirley loved to travel, and the list of countries they have visited is quite long – from an African safari when John was 80, to climbing the Great Wall of China in 1994, to visiting many other countries throughout Europe, Asia and the Middle East. He loved engaging with other cultures, appreciating their art, architecture, and music, trying new cuisines, spending time with good friends and nurturing his excellent photography skills. Even more beloved were family vacations with children and grandchildren in Wellfleet and St. John, USVI, where he passed on a love of boogie boarding and snorkeling. 

John remained a life-long learner with many interests, including a love of reading—both fiction and non-fiction. He also enjoyed music, especially the Boston Symphony Orchestra. And he loved being active. He and his family were members of the White Mountain Ski Runners in North Conway, NH, where he enjoyed cross-country skiing. He was also a keen tennis player. 

Throughout his life, John dedicated himself to helping and supporting others in whatever ways he could. Even during his recent hospital stay at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, John always took the time to get to know the nurses’ names, where they studied, about their kids, and introduced Shirley to them like old friends. His love of and support of mankind will be sorely missed.

Most of all, he will be missed as a loving husband, father and grandfather who regularly attended his granddaughters’ soccer games, dance recitals, choral concerts and high school graduation. Above all else, family was the most important to him. 

Beloved husband of Shirley A. (Polk) Lilly.

Loving father of Susan Lilly and her husband Michael Malinoski of Sudbury, and Jeffrey Lilly of Walpole.

Cherished grandfather of Nicole Malinoski and Sarah Malinoski.

Brother of George D. Lilly and his wife Denise of Santa Barbara, California, and Dana Lilly and his late wife Ellen of Venice, Florida. 

Beloved uncle of many nieces and nephews.

All are invited to attend John’s Celebration of Life at United Church in Walpole, 30 Common Street, Walpole, Massachusetts on Saturday, January 4, 2025, at 11:00 am. To celebrate John’s life, the family requests that attendees wear bright colors. Interment will take place privately at a later date. 

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations in John's name may be made to United Church in Walpole, P.O. Box 287, Walpole, MA 02081, noting JWM on the memo line (for Justice and Witness Ministries, a program to promote understanding of social issues).