Nancy Hoffman Crowley

This is a tough one, Mom, but that is how we like it. You were always at your best when it was all on the line

 

Nancy Anderson Hoffman was born on March 11, 1931 in Philadelphia, PA. My Mother was one of two children. Her sister Mildred currently resides in Texas with her husband Dusty.

 

It has been said that there is no love greater or stronger love than a Mother's Love . . . . . I am here to say that there is one thing  . . . . Our Mother's Love. Mom you took it to a whole new level . . . . You knew how to go Deep . . . .

 

What do you get when you mix grace, class, strength, beauty, Iron willed determination, humor, wit, honesty and the unmatched ability to love deep?  The world found out on March 11, 1931 when Nancy Anderson Hoffman was born in a hospital in Philadelphia, PA. She grew up with her sister, Mildred moving around from time to time because her father was in the Navy.

 

Harry Draper Hoffman was the single most important factor in shaping my mother's life. She was Daddy's little girl. All five children grew up knowing him even though he had long since passed. My mother had a playful side which was quite evident from her nickname, Hoffy in college. In grade school she played Snow White which was quite fitting, a dark haired, fair skinned beauty, she fit the part quite well. As a matter of fact my Mother went onto be one of the great actresses of her time. In her later years she had perfected her craft so well you would have never known the amount of pain she was in. Pain from all her illnesses became part of her daily life.

 

How do you know what you are called to do? How did the greats know what they were called to do? Ruth . . . Montana . . . Riggo?? When you know, you know! My Mom knew in February 1955 when my brother Thomas Raymond Crowley was born, it was the game she was made for. She would take the three letters M-O-M to a whole new level and she would take five children with her. In August 1957 the game changed again as her second son, Michael Patrick Crowley, made his way into this world and as usual for Michael, it was head first. Michael and my Mother would later re-define the bond of Mother and son.

 

I was born in September 1960. One of my Mother's most worthy opponents. I was born with an iron will only second to my Mothers and that is what made me such a good Battler.

 

The following year in November 1961 Brain Francis Crowley was born and then he wasn't then he was- Brian like his older brother Michael who would 16 years later constantly try to check out! All those operations and years of hospitals and Mom was just in pre-game warm ups with her love.

 

But she was about to go deep, in November 1963 she did when my sister Cathleen Marie Crowley was born. After four sons the picture was complete. She had the daughter she had always longed for. The year 1963 was bittersweet as she lost her father. It was the single greatest lost in her life as she was only 32 years old. She would take the values and life lessons she learned from him and make them her own.

 

-The Life-

 

Among my mother's many talents she was also a short order cook- she always had 3 or 4 different courses ready in the morning before school. Brian was the pickiest eater but because he almost died so many times we let it go. Later, Michael's near death experiences would not afford him the same courtesy perhaps his were too common place to have much effect.

 

In the late 60's my parents separated and my father left to live at the beach. My mother was left to raise five children on her own. It was during those tough times she would dig in and raise the bar again. Her Humor was quick and her smile was always ready!

 

The love in our house was generated by a woman 5ft-2inches and it drew from a power source not of this earth - she lived for her children. Growing up with that love always there, so available, made us all so sure of things that mattered and helped to shape us all and forever link us to the source. We all constantly joked   - You love me the most, don't you Mom? This became a familiar chant in our house from childhood to present day . . . . . she made us all feel like we were the one.

 

Late into the night in 1977 my Mother got the call every mother dreads, Michael had fallen three stories and landed on his head. He was in a coma and was not supposed to live, but as usual Michael did not listen to his doctors.  He pulled through and came back home to stay and once more Mom showed the steel that shaped the foundation of all five of her children. With Michael home needing rehab and special attention for many years mom raised the bar yet again- for all the selfless actions she never asked for payment but years later Michael would repay that debt of Love in spades.

 

My Mother loved her children and put all of us first without reservation. She also loved the Redskins with a passion to a fault. She loved her dogs. She loved to feed her squirrels in the back yard. Every time she saw a black squirrel she said it was her father.

 

In 1984 I took my last drink and all three of my brothers followed shortly behind me. She was extremely proud of that and of all five of her children.

 

My brother Thomas gave her a grandson another Thomas Raymond Crowley- in December of 1989 and the following year Philip Michael was born. She was ready and the generator was cranking the source and back in the game

 

In September of 1997, my son Cayden was born and the generator was humming. She was rewarded with her first granddaughter in May of 1999 with my daughter Kendal and another granddaughter Corinne in June of 2002.

 

My own children were afraid of death and would often ask How will we find you in Heaven? They were afraid it was too big . . . . . I would simply reply Meet me in the house next to God's house . . . .God's house is too crowded because everyone wants to be there so I will be in the house next door . . .it will be easy to find . . .everyone knows where God's house is . . .so just ask where God lives and find me in the house next door!

 

In the mid 80s my mother struggled with cancer and would continue to do so over the next 22 years, as always, she never complained or let you know her pain. On January 7, 1998 mom had a stroke during an operation to clear her carotid artery. Upon putting in a feeding tube, they found esophageal cancer. Finding and treating that allowed her another 10 years and her  grandchildren Thomas, Philip, and Cayden now Kendal, Corinne, and Eden would all get to feel Mom's love.

 

The stroke was a blessing - we all came together more- emotions were expressed more and Mom put the generator into over drive. She now had five children, 6 grandchildren and significant others to show the love to. She had a hard time talking, but it did not matter to us.

 

My mother had the ability to make you stronger than you ever felt you were- she did this by going deep with the love- Birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas were always big. After the stroke we all made sure we were together for every holiday. 15 years of free agency trading and always an I-95 Christmas.

 

We consider it an honor to have known her and the biggest honor to have her as our Mother!

 

The last years were hard for her, but she never talked about her pain. Even though it was hard to speek, she always had a lot to say. She disliked it when you queued her with " I want to say", but after she lost her speech it would help her to collect her few sentences and get them out. She could clearly understand but could not convey it. That mental jail cell would drive her crazy for 10 years .

 

31 years ago my brother Michael came home to stay. Michael's fall in Colorado would cause Mom to take care of him for several years after. Michael would return the favor. The last twenty years and especially the last ten it was a great comfort to know Michael was there to watch over her and share with her. Some of the greatest Crowley dogs ever lived during this time together. Michael just know how much we love you and what a great job you did. A debt we can never repay and one you would never want to collect. Thank You.

 

Cathleen . . . . All the trips to the hospital. . . all the Doctors. You were always there . . . . Always ready to act . . . like Michael you would never take credit . . . just know how much it meant to her and us . . . we love you sooooo much.

Thank You.

 

This last time when she went into the hospital we all thought she would bounce back. She always did. Sunday morning, September 28th we found out differently. We called Father Buzz and he came to the hospital to give mom her last rites during the Skin/Dallas game. He asked her if she knew him and she did. He asked her if she understood this last blessing from God and if she was ready for it, she nodded her head yes, he told her she did a great job raising five children and she could let go, it was okay to go- she nodded her head again and was not afraid.

She did let go but did it in her own time

 

She waited until Monday night, September 29th 2008. We were sitting around her bed at 10:48 pm and her vitals dropped quickly. My brother Tom, Mike and I were there but my brother Brian and sister Cathy had gone home to the house to rest . . . I called him and said you need to get down here . . . Cathleen and Brian walked into the room and she drew four more breaths and she was gone . . . we were all there and we were all loving her and giving back as deep as we always got . . . . .

 

At Sibley Hospital in Washington, D.C. 11:07 pm September 29th 2008 Nancy Hoffman Crowley passed on from this world surrounded by her five children. We all suffered the single greatest pain we have ever known . . . . But we were there with her . . . . We were where we were supposed to be.

 

I did ask my Mother many years ago who was her favorite child was as I knew it had to be me . . . She would not come right out and say it  . . .she did allude to it . . . .It was the one that was one of a kind . . . . . well, we were all one of a kind . . . no doubt about that . . . but I got to thinking  . . . there was only one Girl . . . Hmmmmm

 

Mom- it is finally over . . . . I WANT TO SAY . . .

I want to say- no more hospitals, no more shakes

I want to say-no more needles, no more pills.

I want to say- no more pain

I want to say- your damaged body is finally at peace

I want to say- we all love you beyond measure

I want to say- a job well done

I want to say- we will be okay we have each other

I want to say- we will never forget you

I want to say- we will meet you in the House next to God's House, just tell the Dogs to make room.

 

 

Love,

 

Tommy, Michael, David, Brian and Cathleen

Born: Mar 11, 1931 in Philadelphia, PA.

Died: Sep 29, 2008 in Washington D.C.

Obituary

Heaven gained an angel on September 29, 2008, when Nancy Hoffman Crowley died surrounded by her family.

She was loved by all who knew her. Her laughter, smile and ability to love unconditionally will be greatly missed. Nancy's passion for the Washington Redskins was second only to her love for her children and grandchildren.

She is survived by her 4 sons, Thomas and his wife Gerda of Newark, DE; David and his wife Tracy of Greenville, DE; Brian and his wife Carol-Lynne of Rehoboth Beach, DE; Michael of Bethesda, MD and her beloved daughter, Cathleen of Bethesda, MD. 

Nancy delighted in her grandchildren, Thomas, Philip, Eden, Cayden, Kendal and Corinne and was most happy when surrounded by their noise and laughter. Her home in Bethesda, MD was always a warm and welcoming haven for friends and family to gather. Nancy cherished her dogs, who were always by her side, especially Brown Bear who preceded her into heaven by two days so he could surprise and greet her.

A service was held on October 3, at The Church of the Little Flower in Bethesda, MD.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made in her name to CureSearch, National Childhood Cancer Foundation.

Written and Submitted by Tracy and Kendal Crowley to the Wilmington News Journal.

   Wilmington News Journal (Wilimgton, DE)