Thomas Brown "Tommy" Dillingham Jr.

Thomas Brown Dillingham, Jr., passed away peacefully on March 16, 2026, at the age of 84.

Born on July 13, 1941, in Ripley, Tennessee, Tommy-as he was affectionately known-was the son of Mary Ella and Thomas Brown Dillingham, Sr.

Growing up in a small rural town, Tom's childhood was a blend of humble beginnings and early heartache. At the age of three, he experienced profound loss, when his father was declared missing in action during World War II. Despite these challenges, Tom remembered his childhood fondly surrounded by a large family and many friends. He spent a lot of time outdoors enjoying fishing and hunting and with his natural athleticism, he developed a deep love for baseball – a sport he played with distinction throughout all four years of high school.

Tom's athletic ability earned him a scholarship to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, where he proudly played for the Volunteers. Tom's time at UT was short-lived, a fact he jokingly blamed on not realizing he had to study as well as play ball. It was a tough lesson to learn, yet his time there remained a highlight in his life. He was a lifelong Tennessee fan and could often be seen wearing Tennessee apparel with pride.

After leaving UT, Tom took a break from college and went to work driving a farm truck in a rural community. It didn't take long for him to decide that life behind the wheel of a bean truck was not his calling. Determined to find his way back to school, and with the help of his father's war orphan benefits, Tom enrolled at Lambuth College in Jackson, Tennessee. A small Methodist liberal arts college known for producing preachers and teachers, Lambuth provided him with lifelong friends and even better memories; it was there that he earned his degree in education while playing third base for the Lambuth Eagles. During his junior year, he was set up on a blind date with Patsy White, a freshman from Lexington, Tennessee. What began as a simple introduction quickly became something much more. After a whirlwind six-month courtship, the two married while still in school, beginning a life together that would span 63 years.

Education remained important to Tom throughout his life. He went on to earn a Master of Education (M.Ed.) from Memphis State University and later an Education Doctorate (Ed.D.) from Nova Southeastern University, making it clear that that studying really did matter!!

Before graduating, Tom accepted a teaching position at Savannah High School in Savannah, Georgia, where he taught Biology and coached golf. During his time there, he had the rare opportunity to walk the prestigious Augusta National Golf Club alongside his team-an experience he always cherished. Tom and Patsy, along with their "first baby," Prince, a sweet cocker spaniel, spent two years in Savannah, but their love for family and their deep roots in Tennessee ultimately called them home-an idea only reinforced by a memorable encounter with Hurricane Dora.

After returning to Memphis, Tom took a position at Frayser High School, where he taught Advanced Biology and Advanced Anatomy and Physiology while coaching his favorite sport, baseball. It was there that he formed many lasting friendships among the coaching staff, but none more meaningful than his bond with Don Medley, the basketball coach. From the start of their teaching careers to the raising of their families, they shared a journey and a friendship that spanned nearly six decades.

Whether in the classroom or on the diamond, Tom's tenure at Frayser was a series of highlights. He famously took his biology students to Texas to observe the renowned Heart surgeon, Dr. Denton Cooley perform a pioneering artificial heart surgery, an experience that left both Tom and his students in awe. On the baseball field, his leadership was equally impactful, guiding his team to the state tournament to capture the championship. Tom took immense pride in his players, especially star pitcher Ross Grimsley, who went on to play for the Baltimore Orioles-a fact Tom rarely failed to mention. His dedication to his craft did not go unnoticed, as he was honored by the Jaycees as "The Outstanding Young Educator of the Year.

In 1977, Tom took a leave from teaching to pursue a fellowship in Delaware, where he trained in school-based labor negotiations. With this new expertise, he applied for and was hired as a Labor Negotiator for Montgomery County Public Schools. When he received his first paycheck, he famously remarked that after taxes, he wasn't sure he could afford to live in Maryland-but fortunately, things worked out, and the opportunity proved worthwhile.

Moving ahead of Patsy and the girls, Tom first discovered Maryland by way of White's Ferry. He was immediately captivated by the charm of nearby Poolesville; which reminded him of the small Tennessee towns he had always loved, and he made a quiet promise to himself that he would one day call it home. The family officially arrived in Maryland in late 1979, a lively caravan with two dogs, a cat, a rabbit, and countless plants in tow. But the true homecoming came in January 1981. That was the month Tom fulfilled his promise and moved his family to Poolesville-the place that would remain the heart of his life for the next 45 years.

Tom and his family quickly became deeply rooted in the Poolesville community. He was an active member of Poolesville United Methodist Church, where he served on numerous committees and at one time President of the Church Council. One of his favorite traditions was helping make apple butter for the annual Lord's Acre Festival-often found stirring the pot and enjoying every minute of it. The church's apple butter was well-known, and Tom was proud to be part of the effort.

Tom retired from MCPS following a distinguished career as an educator that spanned four states. Over the years, he served in nearly every capacity-as a teacher, coach, administrator, supervisor, and labor negotiator. In addition to his work in schools, Tom also found success as a financial representative with Lincoln Investment Planning, Inc. He was drawn to this second career by a specific mission: to effectively provide fellow educators with better options for their retirement and investments.

His commitment to service also extended into local government, where he served as an elected Poolesville Town Commissioner for 20 years (1984–1996 and 1998–2006), including terms as President and Vice President. He played a key role in developing the town's parks and green spaces, helping shape Poolesville into the beautiful, tree-lined community it is today. In recognition of his dedication, a town park was named in his honor-Dr. Dillingham Park.

Tom's service reached beyond the town through his involvement in numerous organizations, including the Maryland Municipal League (MML)-District Vice President, Member-at-large, Legislative Committee, Convention Planning Committee; Represented MML with the National League of Cities (NLC) served on the Small City Committee and Environmental Committee; Served as President of the Montgomery County Chapter of MML; the Maryland Rural Water Association; and Montgomery County Forest Preservation Task Force, always working to improve and protect the community he loved.

He was a proud member of the Izaak Walton League, a lifetime member of the Upper Montgomery County Volunteer Fire Department, and an active member of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows #97, where he served as Noble Grand and later as Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Maryland. He was also a member of the Moose Lodge and celebrated 50 years as a Mason in his hometown lodge in Tennessee.

Tom had a deep and enduring love for animals. What began with Prince, the sweet cocker spaniel he and Patsy affectionately called their "first baby," grew into a lifetime of caring for family pets who were always considered part of the family. Over the years, the Dillingham home was filled with the companionship and joy that only animals can bring. His most recent companion, Max-a beautiful--but notoriously ill-tempered Norwegian Forest cat-held a special place in Tom's heart. Despite Max's independent (and sometimes challenging) nature, Tom adored him, a testament to his patience, humor, and genuine love for all creatures.

Tom is survived by his beloved wife of 63 years, Patsy W. Dillingham; his daughters, Mechelle Dillingham Quaglietta and Shannon Dillingham Keeper (Stephen); his grandson, Erik Charles Quaglietta (Alicia); and his great-grandchildren, Bryson Anthony Quaglietta, Cadence Elizabeth Quaglietta and brother, Butch Baker.

He was preceded in death by his parents; his grandson, Chad Anthony Quaglietta; and his lifelong friend, Don Medley, who passed away just three months before him.

A visitation will be held on Friday, March 27, from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. at Hilton's Funeral Home, 22111 Beallsville Road, Barnesville. A celebration of life will take place on Saturday, April 11 at 11:00 a.m. at Poolesville United Methodist Church, with a luncheon to follow.17821 Elgin Road, Poolesville.

Tom will be deeply missed and forever remembered by all who knew and loved him. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests donations be made to:

Poolesville Memorial United Methodist Church, P.O. Box 358, Poolesville 20837

UMCVFD, 19801 Beallsville Rd, Beallsville, MD 20839

Independent Order of Odd Fellows #97, 17100 Spates Hills Rd, Poolesville 20837