Thomas Gatewood Coffey

1941 - 2024

Thomas Gatewood Coffey

April 4, 1941 - September 22, 2024

Naples, Florida - Thomas Gatewood Coffey, 83, of Naples, FL, formerly of Raleigh, NC, had one last sunset at his home in Naples, Florida, before dying peacefully on September 22, 2024.

Tom was born in Raleigh, NC on April 4, 1941, the younger son of John Nelson Coffey Sr. and Mary Thelma Gatewood Coffey. Tom and his brother John (Johnny) Nelson Coffey Jr. were reared with a strong work ethic that Tom tempered with an infectious laugh and dry sense of humor. The Coffeys had well-established roots in North Carolina, where Tom cultivated his first enduring passions: a connection to flora and fauna, a deep bond to the ocean, lifelong friendships and his first true love, the NC State Wolfpack.

From childhoods spent at the family's cottage at Atlantic Beach, Tom harbored a love of sun, sand and sea, never venturing too far from the coast. Tom channeled that salt life to his children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews most notably by showing them how to wait for the perfect wave, catch it, and body surf all the way to shore.

Tom was educated in Wake County public schools, graduating from Needham B. Broughton High School in 1958. His love of golf manifested early in life, and he caddied at the Carolina Country Club while at Broughton. With a head for numbers, he matriculated to the School of Engineering at what was then North Carolina State College (now NCSU). He graduated in 1963 with a degree in civil engineering. During his time at NC State, Tom lettered on the Wolfpack golf team and served in the Army ROTC.

Upon graduation from college, Tom served his country in the US Army from 1963-1967, rising to the rank of Captain. He stationed in Pirmasens, Germany under NATO command attached to the Advanced Weapons Support Command (AWSCOM), later dubbed the 59th Ordinance Brigade. Tom was in a small top secret task force called the US Army Permissive Action Link Detachment (PAL Det) that travelled through western Europe setting up tactical nuclear weapon security protocols, often at personal risk to his own health and safety. Captain Thomas Coffey (retired) is a proud Cold War patriot. But his tour overseas was not just service to his country - Tom also drank in the local culture: specifically German beers and German cars. These are lifelong passions he brought home.

Tom returned to Raleigh in 1967, where he crafted a rewarding career in civil engineering and land development. He appreciated a profession that allowed him to work outside and not be tethered to an office. Tom earned his Professional Engineer and Registered Land Surveyor credentials. In 1970, he co-founded the Raleigh firm Triangle Engineering. After a decade, Tom chose to branch out on his own as a consultant in 1980, when he found his next great team, partnering with attorney Arthur Sandman and builder Louis Dickerson, who affectionately referred to themselves as the "Three Blind Mice, LLC". Together, they had the vision and good fortune to time the North Raleigh boom, developing large, ambitious residential and commercial projects, including the Stonehenge subdivision and a shopping center on Creedmoor Road.

On a blind date, Tom found Louise (Lutu) Johnston. He at once saw that Lutu would be his life partner and soul mate. They married in 1982 and blended Tom's daughters, Susanna Marie and Caroline Gatewood, and Lutu's son, Charles (Chad) Edward Maupin, into a family. They raised the children with love and affection, nurturing in each curiosity, kindness, respect for all, personal responsibility, and a strong commitment to family, community, and alma mater. Just like Tom's well-tended roses, his sense of pride sprang from his children, later branching to his grandchildren, then blossoming to great-grandchildren; it was plentiful and boundless.

In 1990, Tom and Lutu retired to Naples on Florida's Gulf coast. There, he grew new things, including orchids and his signature salty beard. Tom spent thousands of hours in his greenhouse, cultivating his passion for orchids. He hybridized award-winning new varieties, which he named for family and friends. Tom served multiple terms as president of the Naples Orchid Society and the Gulf Coast Orchid Alliance, and he was a leader and strong supporter of the Native Orchid Restoration Project, a public/private conservation effort. He loved sharing his skills and knowledge in orchid horticulture, mentoring many members with a "you can do it" attitude.

As new generations sprouted, Tom and Lutu strengthened bonds within their extended family. Tom built a legacy of learning, love and acceptance, so that future generations could carry forward his warm-hearted, generous nature. He expressed love through bear hugs and activities like oyster roasts, shag dance lessons, family reunions, dragging water skiers to exhaustion behind his Boston Whaler, launching defenseless children off the innertube, adventure vacations, fishing for mackerel, walking the golf course (he had a wonderful swing), Sunfish sailing, spinning Carolina beach music, playing board and card games, star gazing, beer and wine tasting, building Sandy Feat sand sculptures, joke telling (always laughing at his own punchline), SCUBA diving, guiding nature walks through bird sanctuaries, and Wolfpack tailgating with family and friends. As Tom slowed, he continued bonding with loved ones through activities such as kayaking the Florida mangroves, diving for sand dollars, and sharing sunsets over the Gulf. Through it all, Tom always laughed with us, never at us.

Beyond family, Tom and Lutu gave both their time and resources in turn to the communities and institutions that had nurtured and supported them. Chief among their philanthropic interests was North Carolina State University. As Tom noted, "Giving back to my university will allow another student to have the same opportunity that I was afforded," adding that, "The country needs more technically educated students and citizens." He volunteered his time and guidance to the College of Engineering and endowed the Thomas G. Coffey Scholarships for undergraduate and graduate students in civil engineering. Inspired by the value of team, sportsmanship and a love of golf, Tom and Lutu funded the first ever endowed athletic scholarships at NCSU, specifically for men and women golfers; they also contributed substantially to the clubhouse of the Lonnie Poole Golf Course on State's Centennial Campus.

Tom fought valiantly against cancer with an engineer's determination to fix the problem. Yet the numbers in recent months calculated to a clear quotient: it was time to cease fighting. While Coach Jim Valvano inspired Tom's determination, he also provided the final summation: "If you laugh, you think and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special." With relief, Tom welcomed Hospice. Never one for church, in his last years Tom gave himself humbly into the hands of Jesus Christ.

Tom is survived by his wife, Louise Johnston Coffey; three children: Susanna M. Stevens (Stedman) of Wilmington, N.C.; Caroline C. MacGabhann (Daragh) of Raleigh, N.C.; and Charles E. Maupin (Jessica Gregory) of Charlotte, N.C.; nine grandchildren: Blair S. Secker (Thomas), Caroline C. Stevens, R. Wynne Stevens, William T. Rogers, Charles R. Bolick (Peyton Wingrove), Thomas G. Bolick, Eleanor P. Maupin, Conor O. MacGabhann, and Sarah M. MacGabhann; three great-grandchildren: Tate R. Secker, Hazel L. Whitaker, and Kiefer R. Wingrove-Bolick; and sister-in-law Martha S. Coffey, who aided in raising Tom as a young man. Additionally, Tom is held in high regard and deep affection by an extended family of brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews, cousins, and by circles of close friends in North Carolina and Florida. He is preceded in death by his parents, John and Mary Coffey, and his brother, Johnny Coffey.

The family is grateful to a dedicated and compassionate team of caregivers who supported Tom in his last years, especially Ivette Payos-Suarez, Robenson Jean-Giles, and Silda Mendoza, as well as the caring staff at AVOW Hospice of Naples.

For friends wishing to make a charitable contribution in memory of Tom, the family suggests the following organizations close to Tom's heart:

·Thomas G. Coffey Scholarship endowment at go.ncsu.edu/coffeyscholarship. A check can be made to the NC State Engineering Foundation, Inc. with Tom Coffey Scholarship in the memo line and mailed to NC State University, Campus Box 7901, Raleigh, NC 27695.

·Naples Christian Academy at www.napleschristianacademy.com

·A charity that is meaningful to you.

A service of remembrance will be held at 10:00 AM on Saturday October 5th at Covenant Church of Naples at 6926 Trail Blvd, Naples, FL 34108 with visitation immediately following. A celebration of life for family and friends will be held in Raleigh at the NC State University Club at 4200 Hillsborough St, Raleigh, NC 27606 on October 25th at 12 noon with visitation immediately following. Casual attire welcome; Tom prefers it.

Tom Coffey always had a vision for his memorial: a party to celebrate a life well lived. He admired the New Orleans jazz funeral. When you think of Tom, please wave a flag, blare some beach music, bear hug a loved one, dance a shag, wear a t-shirt with a witty slogan, or even blow a Bronx cheer with a belly laugh to follow. Tom will be laughing with you.