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Saint Louis University Webster University

Gail DiBernardo Obituary

DiBERNARDO, GAIL MARIE Gail Marie DiBernardo, 63, of Brier, Washington, formerly of New Haven, died peacefully at her home February 11, 2014. Gail was born in Mineola, New York on February 25, 1950 and lived most of her early life in the New Haven area. Gail was a graduate of Hillhouse High School. She received a Bachelor’s of Arts degree from Webster University, St. Louis, Missouri, a Master of Arts degree in English from Washington University, St Louis, Missouri and a Masters of Social Work from St Louis University. She worked as a clinical social worker and was a member of the National Association of Social Workers and a pioneer among a national network of therapists in the treatment of Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS). Gail was widely known and respected for her kindness, friendliness, and generosity. She was deeply concerned for the well-being of all living things, and an advocate and campaigner for human rights and social justice as well. In her social work and clinical practice, Gail often served the most in need. Gail’s love of wildlife and the environment was evident in her work as a leader in the National Wildlife Federation-sponsored Backyard Wildlife Habitat Program in Brier and the greater Seattle area. Her yard was admired in the neighborhood for its great array of native plants, and for its ability to attract many species of birds and pollinators. She was a published author and her short story “On the Waterfront” was named by author Raymond Carver as among the 100 Best American Yearly Short Stories of the Year 1985. Gail is survived by her beloved husband, Edward Mikel of Brier, WA; son Michael Joseph DiBernardo, also of Brier, WA; stepsons Edward Mikel Jr (Emilie) and their daughters Margaret, Olivia and Mary, and John Benjamin, both of St. Louis, Missouri; mother Stella DiBernardo of Hamden, CT; sisters Michelle Oxsalida (Stephen) of Odessa, FL, and Marie Tiernan (Chuck) of Branford, CT; brother Lawrence DiBernardo (Carol) of Edgartown, MA; and many nieces, nephews and friends. She was predeceased by her father, Mario Joseph DiBernardo. To carry on her life’s mission, memorial contributions may be made to: National Wildlife Federation, PO Box 1583, Merrifield, VA 22116-1583.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The New Haven Register from Feb. 21 to Feb. 22, 2014.

Memories and Condolences
for Gail DiBernardo

26 Entries

Deborah Stiles

June 18, 2025

Dear Gail, You've been gone for so many years. And yet, you are still in my heart every day. I'm old now -- 76 years. After years of being a professor emerita, a psychologist, a researcher, I am beginning my new career as a psychologist specializing in arts-assisted grief therapy. I bought a house in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, but I've decided to stay in Missouri. Soon I will be going to Iceland. Webster had a campus there, and so I have been to Iceland many times. Iceland is the oldest, continuous democracry in the world. The U.S. seems to be losing our democracy. I will work with an Icelandic professor and I will write about democracy, mental health, and Iceland. I am doing the best I can. Here I am with my dog Bellissima. You would have loved her. She is SO SWEET and she is the best runner. nlove, debbie and bellissima.

Pam Mikel Hayes

February 15, 2025

Remembering Gail's strength of character and unwavering humility is the antidote to the relentless chaos of todays world both near and far. Thank you Gail for being that well from which we can drink the waters of grace and peace in a very unsettling time.

Debbie Stiles

December 30, 2024

December 30, 2024
My best friend Gail died on February 11 of 2014. She was my best friend, but I was not her best friend. It is more than ten years since her passing. In some ways, she is still here. This morning I am reading a book she gave me, A Gift of Hope: How We Survive our Tragedies. (Veninga, 1985). This book does not sugarcoat anything. "Making peace with ourselves isn´t easy. But those who survive a tragedy have discovered an important lesson: It does little good to punish ourselves" (p. 76).

Thank you, Gail for the gift of hope. "An `expectancy to something more´ seems to be at the heart of the recovery process" (p. 80). In this case, `something more´ refers to accomplishments, closeness to God, and a fuller life. I am trying to discern what God wants for me and what I want for myself. Attached is a photo of my dog Bellissima. This year the Petsmart store was all out of Santa costumes, and so in 2024 Bellissima is a fireplace.

Pam Mikel Hayes

February 15, 2024

The entries in Gail's book are well written and have stood the test of time. How fortunate we are to have known her! It is from this well of her kind and humble spirit that I find hope for a world free of angst and chaos. Thank you, Gail, and to each of her family and friends for keeping that spirit present in our lives.

Debbie Stiles

January 31, 2024

Gail, Today I am thinking about all of our predawn runs with our dogs - you with Sam and me with Grete. These days I run with my puppy Bellissima. I know you would like that she has an Italian name. love, debbie

Debbie Stiles

February 15, 2023

February 15, 2023

Dear Gail, I'm sorry I didn't write last year. You are always in my heart. My dog Starlight died. I cried for three weeks and then I rescued a new dog that I named Bellissima (Italian for most beautiful). My front yard is purple with all the blooming crocus. I should be happy, but I'm filled with fear. Right now - at this moment - I will change my attitude and be grateful that I am still alive. I am still here on the planet earth. Now I will take a break from work and go running with Bellissima. love, debbie

Debbie Stiles

February 15, 2021

February 15, 2021, Dear Gail, You are always in my heart. This year I dedicated February 11, 2021 to you. I am still a professor, still a psychologist, still a runner, and still a human rights fellow. In St. Louis it is below zero (wind chill). I got up early, said my prayers, fed the birds, and went running with my dog Starlight. (I know you would want me to do those things). In the evening I taught my course, Children, Trauma, and Crisis Intervention; I talked about you briefly.
Gail, I think you would be proud of how I am living my life - with joy, determination, gratitude, and a strong sense of purpose. I belong to a church that follows Jesus. Last year we paid off the medical debt of hundreds of families in the St. Louis area and for three years my church has provided sanctuary for a man from Honduras. These days my professional life and my spiritual life are closely aligned. Thank you Gail for being my friend. I miss you. Love, debbie

Debbie Stiles

February 15, 2019

To: Gail

From: Debbie

Every day I remember you through something you did or said or wrote; you are omnipresent.

I begin so many mornings as you and I did years ago going for pre-dawn runs with our dog(s). Running before the sun rises is magical and the reason that I have named my dogs Starlight, Orion, and Moonlight.

You live on in all our hearts, but also in your writings and on the internet. On the web I can still find the Brier Wildlife Habitat Project and your Animal Nut Blog. https://animalnutblog.wordpress.com/

Gail, You are still MY best friend. I am forever grateful that you taught me about kindness, honesty, blessings, birds, squirrels, and flowers.

Clare Mead Rosen

August 6, 2014

Referring to a dream she had after her father's death, Gail wrote, “I don't like placing too much emphasis on the afterlife because I think it can keep us from cherishing our home on Earth. But I was glad to see Dad walking in a sparkling, sunlit field alongside a peaceful body of water; and to see trotting beside him a beautiful, youthful Sammy.” I like to imagine Gail and her father in that sunlit field now, off on a new adventure with Sam.
Gail was a "born" story teller and natural poet. Certain passages in her book about Sam always gave me an aesthetic high, no matter how many times I read them during the ten years we worked together -- on almost as many drafts of her manuscript. (What can I say when both writer and editor are obsessive perfectionists with complimentary skills?)
Gail had great insight into human nature, the kind that can't be taught. She might have enjoyed being a writer more than being a therapist, but it's clear that she was brilliant at both, and gave her best to both. I will always miss working with Gail, miss laughing with her, and miss ruminating together about the way the world oughta be.

Fort Flagler

March 9, 2014

Ted and Emilie Mikel

March 3, 2014

We will miss Gail's sweet smile and generous heart for all living creatures. We will remember the quiet moments that she shared with the girls and taught them about the wonderful things that only Grandma Gail knows..picking wild blackberries, how to tame giant kelp, and the gentle way to pet Tikken. Most of all, we will remember her strong spirit to find happiness in the simple things,and her drive to educate and support people.

March 3, 2014

Dear Randy, Mike, Ted and Ben,
My fondest memory of my sister-in-law Gail was in our correspondence about her book starring her beloved Sam. Being the cautious soul that she was, she asked me to review her drafts. Of course, they reflected her charm, wit and love of animals. I loved the book and told her so. She said that made her cry for joy. I shared that sentiment as well.

Gary

Dylan Kwapy

February 27, 2014

Thanks Gail, for putting up with me when I was little and eager to cause trouble. Thanks for showing me the awesomeness of fresh mozzarella and toaster ovens. And thanks for teaching me to be careful of drunk hornets and bees that eat the fermented berries in your garden.

Thanks for all of that and more. Mike, Ed, and Ben, stay strong guys.

February 27, 2014

I only had the privilege of knowing Gail a short time, but in talking to her friends and family, I learned what a truly remarkable woman she was. Bobbie DeCoster

Peggy

February 27, 2014

I will so miss Gail. Her passion and spirit for the natural world and her resolve to make Brier a better place for the wildlife around us was an inspiration to me. She was shy of the limelight but the cause drew her to action and to be our fearless leader of the movement to protect the best qualities of our community. She made things happen. I shall miss seeing her walking in the neighborhood although I will always feel her presence. I hope she knows her work carries on.

Heidi Hayes

February 26, 2014

Gail lived a life of strength, honesty, and wisdom. From a young age, I always liked and trusted her. I respect Gail for always standing up for her beliefs and doing so with utmost gentle kindness. I will miss her so much, but know that her beautiful spirit lives and breathes among us. She will never be forgotten.

Angela Wilkerson

February 26, 2014

May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.

Gail, Debbie, Art - 1982 St. Louis Marathon

Debbie Stiles

February 26, 2014

Gail, You were my closest friend;
you will always be with me.
As Keats wrote,
“A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases;
it will never
Pass into nothingness”
Much love to you and
all who loved you, Debbie

Brian Hayes

February 26, 2014

Dear Randy, Mike, Ted & Ben:
We are so sorry for the loss of Gail, a gentle spirit who brought you life, light, and sustenance. We will miss seeing her, but will never forget her thoughtfulness and determination to make the world a better place. May she rest in peace!
Brian

Pamela Hayes

February 25, 2014

Gail, my sister-in-law, is a candle in the darkness, offering a simple easy warm light. Humble yet bold, an unassuming grace, a steady glow in
all places. She is a flame that will
not be extinguished neither by time nor distance. Its unimaginable that she is gone.. so I suppose she lives on. That I believe. Love to all of the
boys and girls in her family.

Esther Simon

February 25, 2014

I went to junior and senior high school with Gail and we became very close from sharing our love of animals and fighting for human rights. We stayed in close touch for many years but in our case the world did not get smaller as all the miles between the east and west coast came between us and I am so sad that this happened. However I have many fine and dear memories and will think of Gail often as she was a very special human being.

Ann Harold Berlak

February 24, 2014

Gail was an extraordinary person . Her loving and caring nature enhanced our lives and the lives of our grandchildren. It was a gift to have know her for more than 40 years.

February 24, 2014

These words of Thich Nhat Hanh remind me of Gail. "Pay attention to all the leaves, the flowers, the birds and the dewdrops. If you can stop and look deeply, you will be able to recognize your beloved one manifesting again and again in different forms." I will see Gail always in tended yet tangled gardens, in the creatures who live in harmony in the earth's small spaces.

Rose Lehualllani Perry

February 24, 2014

By lighting this candle, may we be reminded of a beautiful, loving spirit that will forever be remembered and held deeply in our hearts.

Backyard Wildlife Habitat

Julie O'Donald

February 21, 2014

A quote by Kahlil Gibran: What is to die, but to stand naked in the wind and melt into the sun.

Julie

Gail's favorites: Hummingbirds!

Lissy Villa

February 21, 2014

In the peaceful quiet moments of mother nature, we will remember a very special Gail.
May reflections of cherished memories lift your spirit during this time of sorrow.

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