Kenneth Matthews Obituary

MATTHEWS--Kenneth. Age 60, the "Mayor of 93rd Street" passed away in his home on May 28, 2007. Beloved husband of Jane, father of Joshua and Jesse, brother of Robert, and friend of too many to mention. An iconoclast in every way he left a mark on everything he touched. Nothing will ever be the same. The family will be sitting Shiva at the Matthews' home, 23 East 93rd St., Wednesday and Thursday night.

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Published by New York Times on May 30, 2007.

Memories and Condolences
for Kenneth Matthews

3 Entries

Robby Perpall

May 24, 2023

Ahh but to play a game or two of whiffle ball with my beloved lifetime friend...

Robby Perpall

April 6, 2022

I miss my life long friend Kenny every day.

Tina Portelli

May 30, 2007

MY FRIEND KEN

My first memory of Ken was this kind man with an orange frizzy head of hair and gold wire rim glasses held together with tape and wearing clothes that were too big for him. I remember thinking to myself; “This is my husbands boss, a lawyer? He looks more like a buildings maintenance man.

Humorously thinking back, I remember his car. Assuming that he had the financial resources to buy any car he wanted, it amused me to watch him scoot around in a beat up Honda with a roof rack constructed of plumbing material. I considered that maybe he was cheap, but practical and unpretentious was more accurate. Ken, driving a beat up coffee can, happy and proud as can be, with his money gaining interest in the bank. Good for him, that was a smart man.

When Ken spoke, he was articulate and calm, never loud, never overreacting to problematic situations. How intelligent I thought this man to be with his quiet strength. I had observed Ken interacting with people and admired him for his manners and his style of dealing with people. I developed a deep respect for him back then, as I have always held educated persons in high esteem. He was the most intelligent man I knew, I imagined him a descendant of Freud.

That was many years ago, a lot has happened between that time, 1976 to 2006. The best thing that happened is we became friends. Over the years we had always been in touch, some years more than others depending on our life situation. He may have been busy raising kids while I was busy raising hell. It didn’t matter, because no matter how much time would pass between phone calls, the comfort level was the same as if we had spoken the day before. Over the years we would yap on the phone like two girlfriends, me forgetting my proper English and sliding into my Brooklynese mode. And while he thought that was charming, I did not.

As I got to know Ken through the years, it became evident that he was a keeper. I knew I wanted him to be my friend forever. The way in which he cared for his father, loved his children, took care of his employees, his friends was so genuine. He was the kind of friend whom you could trust implicitly. That’s not to say that we agreed all the time. Our views differed on many issues, but that didn’t matter one bit. We respected each other’s opinions.

Ken has helped me many times. As a lawyer he assisted me in a divorce proceeding I could not afford. Ken made it painless and cheap and for that I am forever grateful. I’ll never forget him telling me “When you go to court, wear a short skirt and smile, it’s the only way you will get through the system on your own”. He sent me down to City Hall to process my own divorce. I remember wearing my brown mini dress showing imagined cleavage and white go-go boots. Tacky yet effective, I was out in two hours and didn’t need to leave the premise for a notary, as the clerk was happy to accommodate me for a look at my cleavage. That Ken, he knew the routine.

Once I needed a stove and Ken dug one up from his storage basement, roped it on the roof of his car and delivered it right to my door. He has helped me with legal issues, has given me advice and perspective in family situations, recommended eye doctors, a house painter for my building, a good insurance broker, got me on T.V., listened to my deepest thoughts and shared in my joy of writing. He has been especially supportive in my writing. He has been there for me, always, and that is why I will miss him so dearly.

There is a point in genuine friendship where the line between friends and family overlap. Sometime, and often, our friends become more loved by us than our own relatives. That’s how I felt about him.

Ken was my mentor, always making me feel special and smart. I knew to dial that 212 area code if I was feeling unsure or insecure about myself. He had fed me emotional encouragement for twenty- nine years. He had more confidence in me than I did in myself. Because of him, my perception of knowledge vs. intelligence has changed. He was right, a certificate, a degree on the wall isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Without common sense, the most honored people are lost. His motto was that there was alot to be said for “Street Smarts” and he swore I had it. This, coming from a man with more degrees than a thermometer.
When Ken had been diagnosed with brain cancer, I felt I had to act. In tribute to Ken, I had written a small book, dedicated to my dear friend for all his support, his collaboration, hours on the phone, editing, brainstorming ideas for the benefit of my passion. I had to rush this self- publication so that he would have the joy of seeing his name on the dedication page. And he did. It was the one thing I ever did for him and it was enough for him. It made him so very happy, he was thrilled.

That was the very least I could do for my friend Ken.

I will miss him dearly, but will never forget what he has meant to me.

My sincere sympathies to the Matthews family, thank you for sharing him.

Tina Portelli