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Raymond D'Amelio Obituary

D'AMELIO-Raymond. Died June 12, 2002. A talented life cut short. Advertising professional, great guy, good friend. Sorely missed. Joel Barad

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Published by New York Times on Jun. 14, 2002.

Memories and Condolences
for Raymond D'Amelio

Sponsored by sbc.

102 Entries

Tom lenahan

July 5, 2023

Thinking of you Ray, as I often do. Gone to soon and tragically. Thanks for your friendship and minding my girls at work. Love, Tom Lenahan

Kerri Upshur

July 5, 2019

Love you Ray, thinking of you.
I've made your chili recipe twice, still trying to get it right, it's the only time I drink the champagne of beers. Miss you. Cheers XOX

Robert Ouellette

June 13, 2013

Ray,
Wow, I still think of you often and try to keep things moving in the right direction with a gentle prodding and a few kind words. So much learning and growing we continue to journey on emulating your instruction.

Always,
Bob Olet

Steve Cowles

June 12, 2013

Peace, Ray

Gary Barnum

June 13, 2012

Remembering my friend on the 10th anniversary of his passing.

David Zink

June 12, 2012

Ray --

10 years you've been gone from our everyday lives. But you live in our hearts and memories.

Right now I'm thinking back to one of our last conversations from a press check in Philly about what our next life steps would be. Would you still be in advertising? Would you have moved to Brazil?

I just know that what ever you'd be doing -- whatever you ARE doing, you're still touching so many people's lives in ways that you can't imaging.

Miss you -
David

Larry D'amelio

January 10, 2011

I love the ginger candies and I think of you everyday.When I'm stressed, I think to myself- How would RD handle this? You're the Man!!

Barbara Boyle

September 6, 2007

Dear Ray,
I still think of you every day, countless times. I know you are there watching over all of us. Look after Mom and Dad, Joe and Jim. I love you. Barbara

Firoozeh Bahmanyar

July 24, 2007

Hi Ray,
It is already five years since you have left us. I still miss you but I know that you are resting in peace. Lots of love, Firoozeh

auge reichenbrg

September 1, 2006

Our Dearest Ray:

Some of your friends from MRM remain, while some of us have been scattered to the wind... but you are not forgotten. On the anniversary of our loss, Jeff Cameron went to meet a friend for lunch. After lunch the waiter gave him two ginger candies. Jeff then gave one to me.

it's never happened before...not in 4 years. Thanks for the Candies. 4 years...and you're still making our lives a little sweeter.

Love,

Auge X X X

Robert Ouellette

August 26, 2006

Ray,

It was time to reflect and re-read some of the entries. I did, and it was just the refresher course that I needed right now.

As you know the 9/11 is coming around again. As we all feel the emotional roller coaster surrounding the 5th anninversary of the world shaking events and at times flash to your memory. I think at some level we rocked equally by missing you.

So feeling a little lost and unsure of life in general and the big picture, I went about my daily plans for busy work. You know, straighten the sock drawer, clean the garage, check emails, and organize the Internet links. Yep, there was the link, I've always kept for tidbits of inspiration from people inspired by your examples and updates we share here with you and each other.

"I got my mind right now, Boss."

Yeah, Cool Hand Luke reference, but still appropriate. I got it, got just what I needed to keep moving along.

Now I gotta go and clean the garage and stuff.

Thanx,

for everyone,

Peace and God Bless,

Bob Olet

Beth D'Amelio

May 17, 2006

I can't believe fours years have past. Last night I talked to Micheal. He told me all about the great work Barbara has been doing to keep your memory alive. He said he is still so sad. I think ofyou often and miss our talks. So much has changed since you have been gone. But you know as you were there to meet your dad and our beloved Andrew. We all miss you and love you.

Gary Barnum

June 4, 2005

It's hard to believe that nearly three years have passed since Ray's terrible and untimely death.

But it's comforting to know that his memory lives on in the hearts of his dear friends and family.

Michael Damelio

April 30, 2005

When I was In college, I spent a weekend at Ray's Apartment. I was telling him that I was taking some philosophy classes and I found it really fullfilling. As usual he asked many questions and seemed directly interested in everything I was learning and had to say. At the end of my visit he offered me a book, "The Art of War". He followed by saying that he never really understood it but he was told it was a standard read for making your way in advertising. I read that book ten times and I still haven't made it translate into any definative way of life. At least not for me. Anyway, to get to the point, about a year ago I opened the book, not to read it but just to remember. On the inside cover I noticed a sticker. This sticker had no business being there. On the sticker was a passage. The passage read as follows:

I Shall Pass Through

This World But Once.

Any Good Therefore

That I Can Do Or Any

Kindness That I Can

Show To Any Human Being

Let Me Do It Now.

Let Me Not Defer Or

Neglect It. For I

Shall Not Pass This Way

Again.

-EX LIBRIS

I understand, now, why I have this book.

June is coming and another year passes. All of Ray's friends and family are in my thoughts and prayers, always. We all shared the joy of his life and now share the scar of his loss. After reading Frank's message I felt it had been too long since I shared.

Even in darkness, light survives.

Peace and Love - Michael D'Amelio

frank tedesco

April 28, 2005

Dear Ray,

I being your closest and dearest friend never put my thoughts here for the world to see. I am now, nearly 3 years since you have been taken from us all.

Our 14 trips to Brazil over 4 years, was the best times I believe of both our lives. Things were great then. I have hit into dificult times right now.My wife left me, I filed bankruptcy and may soon become homeless if I don't find a job. Your lovely wife Barbara has been very nice to me trying to help me extradite myself from this terrible situation I am in. I miss you so much because you unlike most would never run from a friend in trouble. I have not worked since 9/11 and I am in such a deep depression. One of the things that gives me hope to carry on is the memory of you. I know you would be there for me. I have had such a hard time accepting your being taken from me. I've lost since 6/12/02 my best friend, work, wife, credit and now even my home is in jeopardy. I have thought about joining you that things have gotten so bad. Don't worry Ray, I know thats the last thing I could ever do to please you. I hope they publish this and I hope people out there realise how good of frineds we were and still are.

Your, Friend

Frank Tedesco

Lisa Pfitzner

December 1, 2003

Hey Ray,

Have been thinking a lot about everything since going to the courthouse last week. I thought going down in person would make me feel better and all it has done is put me in a spin all over again. I was relieved to hear what the judge had to say, but at the same time it still left me feeling empty. We don’t have you and nothing besides that would make everything all right. I miss you. Everyone does. And we all still struggle to make sense of it.

We all still feel you too. It can be at the strangest, most unexpected times...or the most obvious. Like me wandering for several hours back and forth in front of your bench in Central Park without ever finding it. In my frustration I couldn’t hear you calmly saying “take a couple of steps to the right”. Did I give you a good laugh? Were you shaking your head at me and smiling? Hey, whatever I can do to entertain. I’ll tell you one thing, I know for absolute certainty where the bench is now. And I know that you know, I came to spend some time with you, although I never got to sit down to do it.

Keep looking out for us Ray. Keep us on the straight and narrow. We depend on it.

Missing you, Lisa

Bob Olet

November 19, 2003

Hi Ray,

It is amazing how much you are still in my thoughts and how much I am still learning. I began a journal a few weeks ago for my children, in the hope that when they are old enough to understand, they will remember my examples, just as I remember yours.

I trust you will graciously accept my acknowledgment of your influence on me, there is a small section entitled "Reflections of an Angel."

Early morning stretches, a calm clear resolve that another insight is just around the corner. Odd, how it is that the morning seems to be the sharpest of all, still only half-awake reading and writing comes easily. Love of my children and wife, giving all that I can of myself to make sure they are happy and always putting them first, sometimes forgetting that I need to save a little bit of time and energy for myself. That's important, too. I think.

It isn't selfish to take care of yourself. You must care for yourself to stay strong enough to be able to care for others. To deny your physical and emotional needs will only create a distraction when the time comes for you to focus on others. Just as a mother must have enough rest to be calm and caring in the times that her child needs her. This and much more I have learned from my wife, another of God's messengers. She too is a miracle, an answer to my prayers for God to send someone to love me like no one else can, and show me how to love.

The number of good people in the world versus the number of bad people in the world is not the measurement of the battle between good against evil. It is the total of the depth and power of love in the world versus the total amount of hatred. A small number whose collective love of God's Truth, that is tremendous, can tip the balance against the many whose hatred is shallow and self-serving.

(There is the power; it is in the depth, not in numbers. Keep it within you, and let it grow more every day.)

Thanx Ray,

God Bless and Share His Peace,

Bob Olet (Robert Ouellette)

Debbie Sharken

October 18, 2003

Hey Ray. Just dropping you a line to say hello. I think of you often. Did you know I lamenated a business card of yours and always carry it with me? Well, of course you do.

Anyway, I see it every now and then when I am looking for something in my wallet and I can't help myself from smiling with thoughts of you. Your face is a clear and bright memory in my mind's eye. I see your face and hear your voice. It is always there.

And you will always be with me.

Love,

Debbie

Firoozeh Bahmanyar

October 8, 2003

Dear Ray,

Often I think back to your stay in Paris and the BSB Europe days. I remember how sweet and geniune a person you were. You would always bring peace when there was a conflict between the team, you would always be cheerful and helpful. Unfortunately, there are few people left like you amongst us. I am sure that you are better off being up with all the angels overlooking your friends on earth.

We who are still living are faced with a tougher and less fun work and life. As you were in my thoughts, I just wanted to say a little hello to you with lots of warm love coming to you from Paris.

Firoozeh

Beth D'Amelio

June 12, 2003

Ray, I can't believe it's been a year already since you were taken from us. I know you would'nt want us all to be so sad but we miss you so much. As I sit here this morning I'm thinking about the first time I met you. Remember, You were sitting on the deck here at the house. The first time I saw you I thought ' Oh my, how handsome is he !!!!!!! You were reading a travel magazine and telling me all about Cuba. Then you , Larry andI went to Blockbuster to rent movies. I still listen to the CD you INSISTED on buying me.

Today Micheal is coming to be with us . What a comfort he will be as he's so much like you. Larry wants me to bake oatmeal cookies so he can take them to work and give them to people like you used to .

As i sit here typing I hear the birds and the wind outside the window. I know that you are with us.

We love you and miss you so much. Love, Beth

p.s I promise to call Barbara to make sure she's o.k. I bet she'll be sitting in her apartment wrapped in one of your sweaters.

Augé Reichenberg

January 2, 2003

"Peace on Earth and goodwill to all men." That is what this season is about and Ray you lived that way all year long. How you managed it so consistantly I can not fathom. But you did—and I thank God for it.

A new year dawns and I realise we have to move into a this new year without you in the office just down the hall from us. Ray, I can't believe it's been so long already.

I'm still trying so hard to be a little more like you, every day. I am not doing so well, but even the small changes are making me better than I was. I have a long, long way to go before I ever as much at peace with the world as you were.

To you and to us all I say the old words with the new meaning that you've given them: "Peace on Earth and goodwill to all men." You lived those words everyday of your life. May we all be as blessed. — Love you. Augé

steve

December 25, 2002

When I tell my children tonight about Santa Claus, and I have to make them believe in a man who arrives on Christmas Eve bringing gifts for all, it helps to think of a man who arrived on Christmas Eve some 40 odd years ago and was, in and of himself, a gift to all who knew him.

Happy Birthday Ray and Merry Christmas.

Never forgotten.

Steve.

Michael D'Amelio

December 3, 2002

When we emptied Ray's apartment we came across a box of photos he saved over the years. I scanned the highlights of the photos from that box and posted them to http://www.actionwheelsbike.com/gallery/index.htm

Hope they bring some laughs and not too many tears.

kerri

September 9, 2002

Hi Ray,

I saw your beautiful smiling face in my dreams last night. I couldn't help but throw my arms around and give you little kisses. I hope you did not find it too forward. I was just very happy to see your face again, even if it is just in my dreams.

Hope to see you there again.

You're still my favorite.

Leonardo Liz

July 19, 2002

I miss Ray everyday of my life. I wish I could laugh more one I think of him, but I just cry because of the

emptiness I have without him. Ray was so important in my life. I called him for almost all my decisions. I called him to share things happening in all aspects my life. There is no one else like him. He was so much fun to talk to and hear from. I miss him so so much. He was my best friend. I wish I could see him again, just to tell me that he is alright where ever he is. I guess I have to be grateful for all the time we share when he was here. Ray will forever be in my heart.

Augé Reichenberg

July 17, 2002

Hello Ray,

A month has gone by, and everyone of us here at your office has been just a little more like you, since you left. It must be your gift to us. It doesn't make up for loosing you, but it does honor you in the most important way. That we have all been trying to be aliitle more gentle and respectful with eachother and with our friends and families. We all seem infected by your inspiation. I pray we never find a cure.

—'Love you.

Augé XXXXXXXXXXX

steve cowles

July 17, 2002

Hey Ray,

I'm sure you know by now that you and Hope have won what may be the most prestigious (and envious) award in Direct -- a Cannes Gold Lion. The only Gold they awarded in North America. Way to go my friend.

Knowing you, I'm sure you are secretly a tiny bit pleased, and outwardly totally and genuinely modest. Mostly I know you would be thrilled for Hope. As we all are.

And for you. (Don't worry about Hope getting all puffed up, Maurice is keeping her in line, as always).

Spent a moment in your office today. I hope you like fresh flowers, because there are many in there. It's comforting to be in there.

Work goes on, but I feel like you are with us all the time. There is a tangible Ray-ness around the place all time. A sensitivity. A gentleness. A niceness that wasn't there as much before. Thank you for that. Yes Ray, you.

Beth D'Amelio

July 12, 2002

Dear Ray, It's one month today since you"ve been gone. i still can't believe it. As I talk to you throughout the day you let me know that you're o.k.

Andrew is doing well. He's staying really busy. He said that he thinks you would want him to. David took him golfing last night and today I'll take him swimming. We brought 'the old man' home for the day yesterday. We're just all really sticking together as a family right now.

Jeff sent us a huge bag of ginger candy. So we have plenty.

I really miss our phone conversations about 'the cripps'. When the phone rings after ten I always hope it's you.

We miss you,we love you and nothing will ever be the same.

Love----sister-in-law

Tris Gates-Bonarius

July 9, 2002

Ray,

The entire 'extended' Gates family will miss you dearly. Your spirit will live in our hearts forever. - Tris & Joerg, Kat & John, David & Frieda.

Barbara Boyle

July 9, 2002

Raymond,

I will love you for ever. I will. And I do. - Barbara

J Langdon

July 2, 2002

When my son was very young (2,3,4 yrs old), he was extremely shy, even around family and close friends. If Ray was in the room though, Michael would immediately walk over to him and begin talking with him--quietly, seriously, warmly. Young children have a wonderful instinct for what's truly good.

Beth D'Amelio

July 2, 2002

Dear Ray, There are no words right now. Only we love you,we miss you, every single minute of every day.

Laurie Seltzer

June 30, 2002

You could travel all over the world and never find the joy and contentment that I found right there in Ray's office.

Thank you Ray for being such a patient partner, beautiful human being, and cherished friend.

Tom Lenahan

June 28, 2002

Ray reminded me of my father.

He gave everyone respect - from the top execs to the mailroom people. It didn't matter what you were wearing or what kind of car you pulled up in. He treated everyone with kindness, really caring about how the other person felt. I try to do that myself but Ray took it to another level. Except for his frequent "Damn it to hell!!" (which I can't get out of my mind) he rarely showed anger or had a bad word to say about anybody.

I am not as good as Ray.

But I'll try.

I'll miss you Ray, and thank you for being so kind to my daughters when they came in to work.

Love Tom

ps Damn it to Hell!!!!!

Jamie Stern

June 27, 2002

I first met Ray D'Amelio in 1987 when Backer & Spielvogel merged with Ted Bates. Over the ten years that we worked together(lucky me)I had such a crush on him. I adored him. I have saved and cherished every note that he had ever written to me. I had just spoken to him about two weeks before June 12th because I was cleaning my desk and I found one of those gems and I smiled and laughed and needed to talk to him. I can still see him in my mind walking down the hallway in his kacky pants with his white shirt with the tail hanging out of the back. He worked so hard he never realized it and that smile...that million dollar smile.

I will never forget you Ray, you are and always will be the best.

Jamie Stern

Jon Affatato

June 26, 2002

Raymond,

Things I think about:

-May wanted me to set you up with her sister. I figured, "Yeah, that'd be great... the next time I see Ray I'll see if he's interested."

-The way you'd answer the phone simply "D'Amelio".

-When I first started at McCann I kept hearing about this guy Ray that every girl was ga-ga over. It took me a few months to realize that it wasn't Ray Roel they were talking about.

-Back in '97 I thought, "Who the heck is this guy that's leaving homemade cookies on people's desks?"

-Going to a Yankee game with you a few years back. I think you said it was the first time in a very long time that you'd been to a game. Most of us left after the 7th inning, but as I left, I distinctly remember looking over my shoulder and seeing sitting in your seet with a peaceful smile munching on peanuts, just takin' it all in.

Stay well. You're the best.

Leonardo Liz

June 25, 2002

More than 5 years ago. I met “Hard Guy” thru “Luz” the lady that kept our offices clean. Back then we used to work at 750 Third Ave. She told me that he was a very nice person and her friend. I would eventually meet him because I work at the studio. Once I met Ray he was my inseparable Friend.

I used to visit him at his office. I would spend 10, 15 even 20 minutes at his office, talking and learning from him. I could call him and ask any question I wanted, any time. I believe I introduced him to the Latin Culture. One Christmas I bought him a calendar with one Spanish phrase per day. Cause I wanted him to learn the language. I used to go almost everyday to check if he was learning his lessons. He told everyone that I was giving him “Gorilla lessons”, because they where short and intense.

One day Ray told me that he went to the Dominican Republic, the country where I was born. There he was introduced to the “Bachata”, a music genre of my country. Ray loved the way the guitar is played and the feeling Bachata singers put to the music. After a trip to D.R. Ray told me he loved a song that he heard a lot over there. All he was to singing was the chorus, “por no dejarte sola” which means “because I don’t want to leave you alone (lonesome)” We went to a record shop together and bought the CD.

Ray and I were the best of friends. I am the youngest of three children. I have no brothers. So my friend Ray was like a big brother, a mentor, counselor. Once he told me his age and I told him, “hey you could be my father”. I joked with Ray, I felt so comfortable telling him anything. I enjoyed being so close to Ray. I wanted to introduce him to my sister. I took him out dancing with my other sister. Ray told me the next day that he had so much fun dancing and he loved the Dominican culture.

Ray was so giving, that he came to the office with a picture of Luis Vargas and Alex Bueno, 2 bachata singers for my sister.

I was so lucky to have spent so much time with Ray. We went to the Dominican Republic, to the Dominican Parade. We went to beach in D.R. I will never forget seeing Ray with his scuba diving suit. We spent 3 hours sitting at the beach, looking at the ocean, the sky and the people passing. And thinking “How nice it would be if we could just spend the days there and not have to work.”

We went so many place together. We went Jones Beach in Long Island. We went shopping for clothes. Ray helped me pick out a pair of sneakers at foot locker. We went to Riverbank Park at 145th Street. Ray visited me, I visited him. I knew his old and his new address. Herb Passberger, and dear friend of mine said one day. “Here come the mambo twins separated at birth by a bad layout”

I am so grateful to have know Ray, and very deeply sad and hurt that he was taken from us. I used to call him “Hard Guy”, because he thought he was tough. Almost everyday when I got to my desk, I would call Ray’s extension (6112) and say hello to him. If my phone rang when he was working with me or passing by my desk. Ray would answer my phone and say, “This is mambo’s secretary, he is at a meeting with the president of MRM” and then he would pause and say “mr. mambo is back” and call out to me to come to the phone.

Anytime I had a headache, Ray would come with 2 advils and a cup of water for me. If he saw me eating potato chips, he would say “those are empty calories”. And he would go to his office and bring me a banana, raisins or peanuts.

He always gave me advice. If I ever curse, Ray would say “Yo Leo, why you cursing”. Many times he was teaching me the 7 deadly sins. And I think it is an important lesson that everyone here should learn and put to practice. Ray use to tell me.

“Leo, remember it this way. PL GAGES.” And he wrote it down. Pride, Lust, Glutony, Anger, Greed, Envy and Sloth.

Maybe that explains why Ray was the man he was. He was humble even though he was so talented. Ray was polite and gentle. He always gave the best of himself, to everyone who is here today. He made my life much happier. And made the workplace a happier place to be. That’s why when they talked about Ray everyone always said “He was a Ray of Sunshine”.

Ray wherever you are I just want to say how much I love having you as a friend and a brother. You will forever be in my heart and mind.

John Pfeufer

June 24, 2002

I worked with Ray for about a year at McCann Direct and considered him a great friend. Although I did not do things with him outside the office I did engage in some great conversations with him about life and design. Ray always was a very caring person and you could tell this just in the way he spoke to you and his ability to listen and share his personal experiences with you. Ray was also very young at heart. He struck me as a 35 year old at the time when he was in fact 10 years older than that at the time.

I am sad to know that he was taken the way he was. But if I know Ray well enough he is probably looking down at us all hoping we can learn something else from his life and how to move forward.

God bless you Ray and I hope that I may learn as much from this seemingly short life as much as you did. I know you are in heaven.

Marylu (Jones) Thomas

June 21, 2002

I am an old childhood friend of Ray's. I haven't seen him in quite some time. I remember the day his family moved into the neighborhood. Even back then we were checking out the cute new guys. My utter bewilderment at the news of Ray's demise was beyond shocking, beyond believable. Not seeing him for such a long time, still not seeing him would be expected. What brought it home for me is this web site. I have been reading about the fine man Ray grew to be. I wish I could have remained a part of his life as an adult. It is obvious that he was evolved spiritually. He certainly left his mark.

I remember Ray as a really funny kid who rode around on a bicycle he named Bubblegum. No one was naming their bikes back in the late 50's, early 60's. I remember climbing trees higher than I was comfortable climbing, just to not let Ray get the better of me. I remember exchanging confidences of the boy/girl sort that you couldn't possibly ask of someone in whom you might be interested. I remember wiffle ball games every day after supper in the summertime in Ray's back yard, with all the kids in my family and all the kids in Ray's family, plus Mr. D'Amelio, who really spent a lot of time with the neighborhood kids. I remember loving to hang out with Ray.

I do believe that even back then, all the girls were secretly in love with Ray. He was cool. He was smooth. He was easy on the eyes and easy on the spirit.

I feel as though I wasn't done with Ray yet. He was someone I just always thought I would catch up with someday. Funny how naive we can be. I am sure I am not the only one who took tomorrow for granted.

Ray, I keep having flashes of growing up with you. For me to have any of this make sense, I need to believe you were meant to move on to the next level of spiritual development. I'm so very sorry for me, for your friends, for your family...We will live with the void left by your passing. But you...your light will shine in new ways. I hope someday that some of it spills on me. I will always remember you with love. I wish you peace.

Your old pal, Marylu

Michael Damelio

June 21, 2002

My beloved Uncle Ray,

I thank you for everyday of my life with you. I wish you were still with us because I could learn so much more. The last thing I did before I got the call was tip the waitress at luch $10 because it was her birthday. And no I wasn't trying to pick her up. I was trying to make her day brighter. I learned that from you. You made everyone's day brighter and knowing that lets me know that you will rest in peace. All that is left behind are clues. Clues to how you did it. How you were so awesome. I promise to study those clues with the finest precision, much like you would study a design, and put these clues together. I know I will never discover the formula of Ray Damelio, however through your legend I will become the best Michael Damelio I can. That is a promise. And whenever, someone compliments me on what a good person I am, which I will try to have happen often, I will owe it all to you. I will tell them I learned it from watching you. That's right, I am going to pass the attention onto you ole humble one. You always deserved it.

I know you're still around checking up on us. Don't worry about us anymore Ray. You have a bus to catch. A bus to eternal paradise. Beautiful beaches, exotic women, lots of beer and you don't have to work. Don't you dare miss it on our account. We can no longer lean on you ... Amen. We have to look at ourselves ... find ourselves ... and then each other. Then and only then can we find you again. We will do it and it will be so beautiful when it happens. We will make it through this. I just wish you were here to see us do it. Tonight it is Chilli and beer ... Again. I am on a diet.

Peace Out !!!

MD

Don't you dare spellcheck this document. You know I could never spell. No matter how many times you corrected me. Dyslexia is a disease terrible. I think you are the only one who always got that joke.

Gary Scheiner

June 21, 2002

Hey, Ray.

Can you hear me? Ray?

Yeah, it’s Gary. How’s it going? Long time no speak. Too long.

I just wanted to tell you that I offered a homeless man my umbrella the other day.

I was walking to work in the rain, thinking of you, aching for you, actually. And all of a sudden I see this man huddled on the sidewalk under a cardboard box. On any other day I probably would have kept on walking. I may have thought about giving it to him; even regretted not having done it later. But on that day, I turned around and offered him my umbrella.

It was because of you, brother. After all these years of working together and laughing together and listening to you espouse your Zen wisdom in commercial sound bites, I finally heard you. Be good to one another. That’s what you’ve been saying all this time, isn’t it? Just be respectful. Be generous. Be in the moment with every single person around you.

I get it now. Honest, I do. It was a hard lesson learned. Probably the hardest one ever. (You could have found a better way to teach it, you know.) But I get it. And I promise I won’t ever forget.

There are a lot of things about you I won’t forget, like your smile or your laugh or your ultra hip wardrobe; the smell of ginger candies and peanuts mixing in the air of your office; that NBA notebook you walked around with everywhere. (You didn’t even like basketball, but you didn’t go anywhere without it.) Only you.

I won’t forget the way you seemed so comfortable in your own skin or the way you made everyone in your presence feel comfortable in theirs, the way you always treated me with respect, regardless of my role or title. You were my superior in every way – experience, knowledge, talent – but you never made me feel that way. That is a gift I will cherish for eternity and share with as many people as I can.

I won’t forget the proper way to write out a check. Stupid, huh? But a few years back, when we were working on a MasterCard TV spot together – do you remember that job? – you told me that the right way to fill out a check was to write the number without using the word “and.”

One hundred-fifty instead of one hundred and fifty.

You said your mom taught you that. I don’t know why that stuck with me, but it did. And ever since, whenever I sit down to pay my bills, I think of you. Not a sexy memory, I know. You’d probably prefer something having to do with the ladies. Don’t worry. I think of you then, too. Especially when the exotic ones walk by.

I love the fact that I can find you in the nooks and crannies of my every day. Another one of your gifts. Another reason to smile.

Hey, I was working on your review. It’s not done yet – guess it never will be now. Wanna hear what I thought of you, though? Tough. Under Key Strengths, I wrote: “Ray is probably the nicest guy anyone could work with. He is kind and considerate and always willing to help. He is a gentleman of the highest and rarest kind. He never complains. Never makes you feel like you’re imposing on him. His work is among the most outstanding and enviable in the agency. And he pulls it all off while being ultra cool. He’s like Jimmy Stewart in a SuperFly movie.”

It’s not all good, though. Under Areas of Improvement, I wrote: “Ray is too nice. Nice is good, but in Ray’s case, it’s bad. He doesn’t know how to say no. He doesn’t know how to turn people away. He hates to disappoint. And that makes him susceptible to people who might try and take advantage of him. He needs to be more of a jerk sometimes; to do what’s best for himself instead of others.”

But that’s not you, is it? You’re better than that. Better than all of us, in fact. You always will be.

Yeah, I know you hate compliments; hate being in the spotlight. You probably hate all this attention being showered on you right now, don’t you? But it’s your own fault, my friend. You were so damn good; so damn lovable; so special to so many. These nice people had no choice but to be here today.

I’ve been collecting a lot of their memories of you. So many special ones. A thank you gift after an all-nighter. A thoughtful note. A random e-mail to make them smile. The acknowledgement of a child’s name. The comfort of your shoulder in a time of need. Their quotes and stories are all so beautiful, but their themes are remarkably the same. You touched their lives, Ray; made them better people; made all of us better. I hope you get a chance to hear all their memories. One of my favorites simply said, “What a wonderful smiler the world has lost.” How true is that?

Before I forget, I’ve got something I know you’re gonna love. You know all those times I dodged your invitations to go to the Karaoke bars with you? Well, my daughter’s birthday was Saturday, and you know what she asked for? Yep. A karaoke machine. How’s that for irony? Your doing, no doubt. Keep singing, my friend. I promise I’ll join in at last.

Well, Ray. I’ve gotta go now. There are a lot of other people who need to talk to you; to tell you they miss you as bad as I do. So listen close, just like you always did. I know you’ll find some way to let us know we’ll be okay. You were always good like that.

Give Huddy a big hug for me.

By the way, you remember that homeless man I offered the umbrella to? He wouldn’t take it. No matter how much I insisted, he wouldn’t take it. I figure that was your doing, too. Your way of telling me that it’s easy to be good, but you’ve got to work at being great. I hear you, brother. I hear you loud and clear.

Peace out.

Joselle Spinoza

June 20, 2002

Ray used words sparingly, but when he spoke he delivered a handful of rare gems. Not that he wasn't game for an everyday chat about insignificant BS -- he was more down to earth than anyone I've ever met -- but it was the moments he popped up unexpectedly (in person or e-mail) with a soothing wisdom that eased you where you hurt. He was the most intuitive man, like a faith healer, he just knew.

Ray was so much fun to give gifts to because he would get embarrassed accepting them - as if he didn't know why a gift is given - even though he gave them all the time. He once asked me if I was sure the wasn't someone else I'd rather give some Italian treats to!

Ray was the babe you were excited to have sit next to you in a meeting - like being asked to dance by the cute boy at a high school dance. Only Ray had much more to offer than a cute face.

Ray had to know that he was magnetic. It was rare that I'd see someone walk by Ray's office without stopping in. It usually meant Ray wasn't at his desk if it happened. Even if he was on a deadline, if you popped your head in, he'd have you sitting down eating peanuts (because "they're good for you" he would always say). He could take one look at you and know you needed to take a load off and chill for a minute.

Ironically, just last week I was describling Ray to someone as we drank coffee from the huge bag he brought me from one of his Brazil trips, and I said "this is from one of my all-time favorite human beings."

Bob Olet

June 20, 2002

For All,

In attendance at the UN Memorial Service in NYC, friends and family so deeply touched by the community’s loss, share more than anyone could have asked of them.

There were enough tears and hugs and joyful memories to last a lifetime.

Each speaker and listener gave and received in great abundance.

The wall built of my own design, strong and thick and high and long, shielding me from the ugly world I had glimpsed through the cracked patches of life’s experience, shook, as I listened.

I trembled, fell, huddled, to hide my weakness, lest those hammering at my wall should see me, as I am, naked and afraid.

The Light so startling, on my pale sanctuary, my sheltered eyes so untrained. The fluttering of wings among them, peering in reaching for me, the chorus of , how beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful.

Turn quickly for brick and mortar, so reflexive in manner, pause in a moment’s reflection.

Too late, too open, too vast, unable to rebuild.

Another moment passes and I come to know, perhaps, a picture window would be best.

“ I touch no one and no one touches me. I am an island”

Well, I was, but today I am more.

Reach for me, touch me, take from me, for tomorrow God and I will make more of me.

Oh, so much more…

In awe, many thanks,

Bob Olet (Robert Ouellette)

Judy Choi

June 20, 2002

Ray, you added humanity into everything and everyone you touched, and so effortlessly. I will never forget your grace, charm and overflowing spirit.

I will miss how your sideways glance quickly turned into a grin. You always had a subtle way of letting me know that you were really listening.

You were an angel here on earth, as you will be forever.

Liz Wynn

June 20, 2002

Dear Ray, Sooooo it was you who left us the valentine cookies. I should have known.

Through all the years I've known you (25!) we'd always talk about what it takes to become a better person in this crazy world. And you really did it. Over the years, every time our paths crossed, and we worked at the same agency again, I saw an even better Ray. You did indeed become the kindest, most considerate man I've ever known, who made everyone feel better and just adore you.

I hope you finally got to cook with those cast iron skillets I gave you!

I miss you, Love, Liz

Debbie Verbel

June 20, 2002

Dear Ray:

You told me I'd always hold a special place in your heart because I loved cats AND my family took Laurie's cat in. Which always made me smile. And you told me that I was "hard-wired" for sales, and you were SO wrong. :-)

You'll never know how many people you've touched in so many ways. Your kind ways were an inspiration to everyone, and I only hope I can be half the person you were.

I'll miss you, my sweet friend.

Verbel

Gregg Ward

June 19, 2002

Ray was always throwing the invite to go to the Dominican Republic. He would get this look in his eyes when he described a simpler world filled with beautiful cinnamon girls. It was like I was seeing his face the way it looks when he's there. He always said it would be good for my soul, to get away from the rat race. He seemed to understand the important things. The things that mattered beyond punching a clock and making a living. Most of the time we talked or worked together, he would outline little life plans that more likely than not would involve quitting work and settling for something more meaningful. Something that mattered more to me or him than to the people that signed our checks. He seemed to house deep thoughts in a very effortless and amiable way. Almost like the passive Zen of Ghandi mixed into the life cocktail of Hugh Hefner. A subtly funny, peaceful and kind man that appreciated life and what made it worthwhile.

Ray was definitely a cook. He was an evolved man in the kitchen. I remember a few occassions where he brought in homemade cookies he'd baked the night before and passed them out to people at work. One Valentine's Day story involves Ray giftwrapping cookies and anonymously laeving them as presents to the single women he thought needed a lift. That was Ray in a nutshell. Considerate and genuinely kind.

Ray always offered little tidbits of advice or shared wisdom. I specifically remember him going off about how I should massage my scalp in the shower to stimulate hair growth. I probably would have taken a swing at most anyone else for reminding me of my family curse, but coming from Ray, complete with visual demonstration and that easy expression on his face, it seemed perfectly reasonable and sincere. I won't be growing an afro anytime soon, but I also won't forget the easy sound of his voice when he spoke.

We worked a pitch a few nights in a row. We were tired and pretty miserable by the second night. Ray showed a small glimpse of temper with the account person working on the pitch. It was just a minor disagreement, but Ray calmly straightened the account person out. Two days later, we received an email from Ray apologizing for his outburst, which, in my book, barely registered on the scale of midpitch madness. Deadpan, he described that he was temporarily off his medication, but that his doctor got him on the proper dosage of some new stuff and this sort of thing wouldn't happen again. I called him up laughing and asking what the hell the email was about. We talked, he joked about the pitchand we hung up without me being entirely sure that he had joking. But I know, that with an email and a phone call he had put the pitch in perspective and put me in a good mood for the rest of the day, despite the mad hours we were putting in. He was funny without trying and thoughtful without the fake, sugary coating that makes you want to gag.

To me, he was the type of AD that you wanted to work hard for. His casual approach to the work inspired me to try to make things better than he had asked for because I knew he would appreciate the extra effort. He would always let you feel the freedom in your job and the potential in the artwork you were helping to create. He would gently lead you from behind, making you have confidence in your work while letting you enjoy it. He lead by deferring to you. He made me feel ownership in my work, rather than pressure to earn the privilege to do his work the next time. Maybe it was a small thing in relation to the bigger picture of completing the job, but giving another man pride and joy in his work is and should be everything when it comes making a living. Ray D. did that for me and I will miss him sitting over my shoulder, offering wry commentary on women, work and life.

-Gregg

lenny hickey

June 18, 2002

Brother Ray,

Thanks for letting me raid your office refrigerator. Thanks for helping me fix the printer at 11pm so I could finish my work and go home. Thanks for telling me (and everyone else) how beautiful my wife is. Thanks for lending me your Austin Powers CD. Thanks for making the ordinary things not so ordinary.

Jodi Robin

June 18, 2002

Ray,

It was an absolute, honest-to-God pleasure.

Judith (since that's what you always called me) Robin

Firoozeh Bahmanyar

June 18, 2002

My Dearest Ray,

Since I heard what has happened to you yesterday, I can only say that there is no justice in this world. Why you who were one of the finest persons on earth should be taken away from amongst us in such a manner. I am sure that your place is up in the skies with all the angels in heaven. Your kindness, understanding, emotional support and most of all your friendship will always stay in my heart. Unfortunately you will not be able to cheer me up when I call you long distance from Paris or when I ask for your advise. God bless your soul and may you rest in peace. You have just left us in body but your wonderful spirit will always be with me and all those who knew you. Lots of love, Firoozeh

Paula Provost

June 17, 2002

Ray,

I believe it is everyday behavior that makes a hero. And I believe that the impact one person can have on others with unconditional and effortless kindness can generate such momentum that not even the most heinous spirit can prevent it from spreading. Nothing could have reaffirmed my faith more than the outpouring of kind memories, funny stories, and genuine loss so many of us feel for you.

Ray, you are a true hero, and I will do my best to honor your memory by sharing the kindness and support you showed me with others.

God Bless You Ray.

Paula

Cheryl Richman

June 17, 2002

Dear Precious Ray,

I saw you approach life with peace and acceptance. Your humility was refreshing and surprising. Your words were genuine. Your intentions were pure. Your wit held insight. Your company was everything. Your eyes were warming and your smile was disarming. You were the best of humanity.

I am privileged and honored to have shared time and space with you.

Peace out my friend.

Always in my heart.

With all my love and more,

Cheryl

(Shyrell)

Renée Stoller

June 17, 2002

Dearest Ray,

I can say with absolute certainty that not one person who knew you and your incredible smile and big heart will EVER forget you. You were the kindest, most gentle soul I knew.

You touched so many lives and your memory will live on in all of us.

Renée

David Zink

June 17, 2002

Ray --

The saddest thing about this is that I don't think you knew how much you are loved.

David

Lisa Pfitzner

June 17, 2002

Dear Ray,

From the first day we met, from the first hour of working together, you established a presence quite unlike anyone else I’ve known. A truly sincere, kind presence — someone who would

lovingly go out of his way for anyone and everyone. A “gentleman” in every sense of the word. That was the kind of man you exemplified from the get go.

And it didn’t stop there. I also discovered a warm, passionate, spiritual soul that was open to me and to others around you.

Over the years, in my own life, whenever there was great joy or great sorrow, you took the time to acknowledge and support me. Handwritten notes sent to my home or an e-mail in the office

— words of encouragement to “keeping reaching for the stars” or tender, heartfelt words of

compassion helping me to find strength.

And always thanking me, in that incredibly selfless way of yours, for giving you encouragement and strength.

You very recently told me you were proud and privileged to be in my company. But my friend, once again, you got it backwards. It was my privilege to be in your company. To be on the constant receiving end of your compassion. Acts and words of kindness that can never be forgotten. And therefore the way you touched my heart shall never be either.

I feel a tremendously, deep sorrow for your abrupt departure from us. And I can hear you now apologizing for that — but please don’t Ray. Allow me to feel the loss, think about the friendship you graciously extended to me and know that one day I’ll see that bright, beautiful face again.

Wishing you peace, my colleague, my friend.

Lisa

Ann Hazan

June 17, 2002

You had such a nice way of making even my most incompetent moments feel brilliant...

Thanks Ray.

We miss you.

Ann

William Kunkel

June 17, 2002

You made working 'til 1am a pleasure, knowing you'd be here to chat with and doodle with. I hope you're at peace, watching over us. I'll never forget you.

Joe Steele

June 17, 2002

A Ray Memory,

I sent a good friend to Ray on a blind date and while there wasn't a second one she recalled it fondly this week end.

She asked, how will I recognize you and he said, "I'll be the one with the eye patch." (Ray's eyes were fine). She couldn't remember what she laughed so hard at through dinner but she did remember Ray escorting her home in a cab, deep into Brooklyn (Ray doesn't really love Brooklyn).

Some of us didn't get to know Ray much more than she did, but like her he left a huge impression with his whit and charm but mostly for his many acts of consideration and kindness.

Thanks Ray,

Joe Steele

Michael Gold

June 17, 2002

Ray was a beloved friend and coworker, who's unending joy and enthusiasm will forever be missed.

Laurel Moudy

June 17, 2002

Remembering Ray…..

Salsa dancing with Clients in a parking lot

Bringing me flowers on my birthday

Beers and discussing the meaning of life at Broome Street Bar

Gracious and caring friend

A mentor

Always loving life

I think these words by Marcel Proust best describe how I feel about Ray

“Let us be grateful

to people who make us happy;

they are the charming gardeners

who make our souls blossom.”

Thank you Ray. I am truly grateful to have known you.

-- Laurel

Gary Barnum

June 17, 2002

You were the first person I met when I moved here 25 years ago. Best man at my last wedding. A great partner in at least three different agencies.

You were loved. And you'll be missed.

Joel Barad

June 17, 2002

The fond memories of Ray, recounted here by his colleagues, friends, neighbors, and relatives, is quite a testament. I have received so many calls from old friends at Ogilvy. Ray brightened the lives of so many. What a terrible loss.

Sylvia Vizcaino

June 17, 2002

Ray had inner peace, he was a peace loving person that had found his inner light that never stopped shinning. He always had a glow on his face/expressive eyes and a sincere smile. He cared about people.

Friends/real people like Ray are hard to find. His thoughtfulness/kindness/generosity not only made work more enjoyable--but life as well (to know that you are thought of kindly by someone else).

When I was out of work, he called me a few times to see how I was and always managed to make me feel more confident (he bought out the best in people). I always looked forward to speaking with him/to hear his voice because he always lifted my spirits. He always saw the positive side of people. He was always sensitive to others and taught me and many of us how to be as well. He always was approachable & understanding. He is a Saint. To know him is to love him.

My deepest sympathy to everyone he knew.

Ray,

I'm sure you had a smooth/quick path to GOD and you're free in eternal peace. I'll always look up to you.

With internal love from your mourning friend.

pHILIP kOVITZ

June 16, 2002

I'll forever miss my friend and neighbor, Ray d'Amelio. His sudden passing is a cruel loss to the world.

Kerri Upshur

June 15, 2002

You would hand me hello kitty gifts, not say a word

and shyly walk away before I could say thank you.

You were consistently thoughtful.

My room is filled with hello kitty memories of you.

I'll miss our talks about life, religion and brazilian woman.

You made everyone's day brighter and I know every woman

was secretly in love with you, even if you never believed me.

Thanks for all your encouragement and pats on the back.

We never got the chance to meet up for those drinks, so

all my toasts are for you buddy.

I hope you are throwing your whiskey bottles in heaven now

and i know you are making the angels blush.

I love you Ray xxoo Kerri

Terry Hoff

June 15, 2002

I knew Ray as Larry, David, Andrew and Joan's brother, Mary and Joe's son, Michael's uncle and my sister Beth's brother in law. He was adored by his family and they always spoke of his goodness, looked forward to his frequent visits and were just extremely proud of this extraordinary person and even more proud that he was part of their family.

The very mention of his name would light up a room and when they spoke about him as everyone would gently shake their heads in approval. Larry would simply say, yeah Ray. Yep thats Ray. Boy, Raymond is like that you know.

The hole that has been left in their hearts and so many others may never heal, but they have so many beautiful memories of their Raymond.

My heart breaks for them.

So sad.

Too sudden.

Terry

steve cowles

June 14, 2002

Ray d'

there are no words.

peace.

mr. cowles

Rita Stone

June 14, 2002

Ray-

I didn't know you well - you were the nice guy across the hall who remembered my name and always said hello. You let me see the renovation work that was being done in your bathroom because I was also renovating at the time. I was your #1 supporter when you ran for the Board of Directors at the co-op. Although your election was a long-shot because you were one of the "new people" at the Amalgamated - you wanted to give back to the community - and ran anyway. I will miss seeing you in the hall and in front of the G building. Your life was cut short in such a senseless manner. It is not fair. I have a friend who reminds me that life is not fair at all. So, I am searching for the lesson to be learned from your death, as well as the senseless deaths of Mr. and Mrs. Sprung. Today I'm thinking that I must live my life to the fullest each day to honor your life, as well as my own. Today I saw a quote from Victor Hugo. He said "The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved." You were very much loved by family and friends. We will miss you. Rita

Beth D'Amelio

June 14, 2002

Ray, I've been talking to you all day. Larry dosen't know what to do without you as a part of him is gone now. Your Mom, Mary wonders why you went to heaven before her. I keep telling her that I don't know why. That's because I don't why Ray. I can't understand this. I can't think of anything else but this. My heart is breaking for your brothers,for my husband. We'll never be the same,nothing will ever be the same. I picture your handsome face, your wonderful smile and I can't believe your gone Ray. We ALL miss you so much.

I love you

Your sister in law

Beth D'Amelio

Sarah Verhoeff

June 14, 2002

Ray.

How does one put into words what she is feeling when the emotions are so intense? I LOVE that I knew you. I HATE that you were taken from us. I PITY those who never crossed your path. I ENVY those who knew you longer and stronger. I have PRIDE in the obvious affect that you have had on all who met you. I have ANGER toward evil. I have HOPE that your legacy will live on. I FEAR that I cannot be, myself, nor will ever meet again, someone that has the ability (and, more importantly, the desire) to make people so very happy.

I THANK you, Ray. I thank you for being you. I thank you for spreading such beauty-- and I have to beleive that's how Good will win in the end.

Forever, Sarah

Mary Ann Romagno

June 14, 2002

Ray, You may be gone from this earth, but will never be gone from my heart, where you will live forever, as I remember you.

Love always, Mary Ann

Bob Olet

June 14, 2002

Ray - Sing softly with me in my heart forever.

Bob Olet (Robert Ouellette)

Tonya Williams

June 14, 2002

Ray was a wonderful man - he always asked about my children by name,(that's not easy keeping up with 4 boys from ages 11-2) not just in conversation, but because he really wanted to know, that was just the kind of guy he was.

Ray you will be missed dearly,

I will keep you in my heart forever.

Love Tonya

I'll miss that smile, I will never forget him.

Ian Shupeck

June 14, 2002

You were a prince Ray, truly. I will think of you often, and I will be better for it.

Kristen Buffamanti

June 14, 2002

From those of us who wish we had known him better, much sympathy to those who miss him so much.

Bob Mantz

June 14, 2002

He always had words of encouragement and praise for everyone he worked with.

After a difficult job, he would leave candy at your desk for a job well done.

Elaine Coban

June 14, 2002

Yes, Ray was truly a special person; he touched all of our hearts in so many ways.

I'm now thinking back to the first year I worked at MRM. During one late night presentation, about 1am in the morning, Ray comes back into the studio. Although it wasn't his responsibility, he offered to help us. And, he did. He worked tirelessly until the project was done. We laughed and told each other stories as we worked. Not a bitter word was uttered about working so late; just working together as a team to get the job done.

In the morning, on my desk, sat a bottle of wine. "Thank you," - signed by Ray - was on the bottle.

I'm so saddened by his death. Such a terrible loss. I miss him and will miss him for the rest of my life.

May God grant us peace and love in this time of sadness.

Love,

Elaine Coban

Brian Glover

June 14, 2002

Ray,

Ray was a graceful, tactful, honest man who could walk into a room and if no one saw him he would go about his work quietly, and humbly. But the minute anyone saw him, the quiet would break with warm greetings, stories, and good advice (especially to the mambo man). Ray was always positive. His happy-with-now attitude kept him looking 10 years younger than he said he was.

Hope to see you later my friend, put in a good word for me,

Brian Glover

Sylvia Sama

June 14, 2002

Although we never talked, I remember no matter how many times a day he passed me in the halls he would always smile and nod hello. He never knew how many times I wanted to say more but I always thought; tomorrow I’ll say more to him.

With his smile and hello, he made me feel some how I was a friend.

It is the special people that are taken from us too soon and it is left for us to always remember how wonderful they are.

Sylvia Sama

Barbara Camp

June 14, 2002

I didn't work with Ray but when ever I saw him he always had a smile on his face and said Hello...

We will all miss him....

Erika Windsor

June 14, 2002

Ray - such a gentle soul. I will never forget you. Having known you was a pleasure and a gift. Thank you.

Erika

Marilyn Torres

June 14, 2002

Ray always had his great smile and wise words to share. He touched my life with his kind ways and I will never forget him. Peace my friend.

Love,

Marilyn

Jack Lipton

June 14, 2002

Ray was one of those special people who added so much positive texture to everyone he touched. He did his outstanding work virtually without any bluster. No problem seemed too big or small for him. What is big now, is how much we will all miss him both personally and professionally.

Rohonie Rampersaud

June 14, 2002

In the brief time I knew Ray as a co-worker, his talent and good-nature was inspiring and uplifting. His presence and influence will be missed, but always remembered.

LARRY LAIKEN

June 14, 2002

I only had the privilege of working with Ray once, a few years back at Backer Spielvogel Bates. It was a quick assignment on Miller Lite. Sometimes it takes weeks to bond with a new creative collaborator, but bonding with Ray was instantaneous. The spots we proposed never got done but the experience was terrific.

Though our paths again crossed here at MRM, we were never partnered though we did exchange lots of hi's in the hall.

Two weeks ago, out of the blue, Ray sent me an e-mail. He had attached an article about
Buick selling cars online in Brazil and thought I'd be interested in seeing it, knowing I was working on the account. It was a small gesture but very telling of Ray's innate thoughtfulness. I saved the article, but sadly, I did not save the e-mail.

Augé Reichenberg

June 14, 2002

June 13, 2002

Dear Ray,

You hip-hop-clothed, sweet, ginger-spiced candy-man. Gentle-man. See-me-to-the–train-when-we-worked-late-together-partner. Pistachio-poppin’, karaoke-Orbison-singin’ bloke. Never-a-bad word-to-say-about-anyone, chap. My precious partner for two years. My dear friend.

You said you’d keep Eva and Nina’s drawing forever. People offer children such easily-uttered promises they do not keep. But you kept your word and you kept their work. By God, you did. It hangs on your wall still. You moved offices three times and put it on your wall wherever you went. When last they visited our offices, you showed them how you cherished the picture you’d “commissioned” them to do. It made two little girls feel so important. You do that.

You make us all feel important, and you do it effortlessly.

Like the most wizened Guru, you seemed to a have reached a level of enlightenment through your detachment from material desires, vanities and egotistical folly, that few attain. You are so advanced, so ahead of me. I can aspire to be the patient, accepting person that you embody. Aspire. Not achieve.

You are open; a conduit through which love flows easily and freely in, and out, into the world. You have no walls, no locks no barriers. You are unprotected for you see no value in such contrivances. You are vulnerable because in your innate wisdom, you know that openness is the only way to be.

You live honestly. True to others. True to yourself. Perfectly straight, and clean, and fresh, and real. Passionate in passionate indulgencies, but serene, so serene, in all other facets of your life. You still the mayhem around you. You calm the anguished of us. For you are always at peace with the world.

I can see your hands. Fingers, not bending. Long, elegant gestures, that made even the weirdest, exotic, Asian snack seem more like a delectable morsel.

I hear you in the morning, saying, “Hello, my friend…”; I hear you cheering on your collegues. Saying how cool, or how hot, or how fresh we are. I see you walk, head bowed, in humility. Self-effacing. And I still smile, thinking of your lazer-sharpe humor. Your wit. And your ability to forgive, so easily.

Your art, so tastefully concepted and rendered. Copy (yes, copy), so deftly done. And you, ever moving away out of the spotlight so that it might shine upon someone you called more worthy.

Out of the spotlight. And into the light, my friend. My friend. Sweet, ginger-spiced, candy-man. Gentle-man.

With more than a dash of “Saint”.

I love you, Ray.

—Augé.

XXXXXXXXX

Alma Montolio

June 14, 2002

I know you're facing God now and that you're are resting on His shoulder because you believed in Him and as your father he's welcoming you home!

Renei Patillo

June 14, 2002

I got familiar with Ray when I hung out with Tonya Williams in the Studio dept. His aura was so charismatic that it made me feel comfortable enough to ask him if he could help me out with a marketing logistics presentation for school (mind you – I was struggling in this course and I’m a honor student, so I didn’t want my GPA to drop – not to mention the presentation was considered as our final for the course, so I was very worried)

Anyway I chose to do the logistics on how an advertisement is developed. Ray gave me his home telephone number and I called him around 10pm one night (when I got in from school) and he walked me through each slide until three in the morning. As it was getting later, I asked him was he tired and that we could continue the project during the week. He stated that he was fine and asked me if I was ok and we continued. Afterwards he continued to follow up with me (at work) on refining the context of the presentation, as well as, giving me pointers on how to present.

In the end, I got a B+……

Through this, we got to know a ‘lil about one another and I found out that him and Leo travel a lot (which I like to travel too)

So when I use to see him in passing (if I hadn’t seen him in a while) I used to always ask or tease him about where he had traveled off too because he use to come in looking so toasty and relaxed from the sun.

I must say, in the short period of time that I knew Ray I got a very strong impression that he was one of those rare individuals that everyone would have to love. His demeanor (in my eyes) always seemed to be very laid back and easy going not to mention the man was gorgeous (didn’t I wind up with a major crush on him while we were working together on my project but the crush was innocent, smile… ya gotta admit the man was a fine looking man and with him being a beautiful person on the inside it just enhanced his whole being).

I want to say at this time to Ray (if he’s paying attention up there)…..Thank you so much for your help, it was a great pleasure knowing you in that short period of time, you’re a good man Charlie Brown and may you rest in peace.

Sincerely and with love,

Renei Raquel Patillo

Ken Krausgill

June 14, 2002

We will all miss the light of Ray's life. May God give us the strength of character he showed and allow us to honor his memory by showing others the grace which came so easily to him.

Deanna Hach

June 14, 2002

I worked with Ray for 5 years at MRM Partners and he was one of the nicest, kindest person I ever met. I will miss him very much. He sent me the most beautiful letter when I was going through a loss in my family. I will treasure that letter always & forever. Rest in peace Ray.

Susan Rampersad

June 14, 2002

Ray,

I can only believe that you were needed in heaven more urgently.

You are loved, and will be missed.

Love

Susan

Nellie Pagan

June 14, 2002

Please watch down on us from your new home in heaven. We will all miss you very much.

Debbie Sharken

June 14, 2002

Ray was the epitome of goodness. He was kind, gentle, warm, caring, and always brought a smile to my face.

You could not help but be happy when you were in Ray’s presence. He was the type of person that makes you believe people are inherently good. I know it is cliché, but to know him was to love him. At least that is how I felt.

Working with Ray was always a treat. His attitude about work, life, and other people was approached with a genuine happiness. It was simply a pleasure to be around him.

Remembering Ray makes me want to be a better person. If I could possess just half of his loving kindness, I would be twice the person I am today.

Natalia Velez

June 14, 2002

Ray,

Wherever you are now, please know that we will miss you greatly. Your warmth and humor eased our days, and your presence will be missed.

Hope Manville

June 14, 2002

Nobody else will ever be able to combine a saintly bearing with such a wicked sense of humor. Ray was a great colleague, and an invaluable friend.

I'll miss you forever, buddy. Peace out.

Love

hm

Marni Rubin

June 14, 2002

Ray was one of the most golden hearted people, always willing to help, and never saying a negative word about anybody.

Ray - we'll miss you.

Love,

Marni

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