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J.W. Coslow Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for J.W. Coslow
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Marcy Sgugart
November 24, 2018
Dad
I know it's been a long time.
You would think time would start to heal my hurt and my heart but it hasnt.I still think of you everyday.I think because I lost you and Mom so close together and so young that I have just felt broken on the inside and no matter what I have done in life since just have not been able to heal my broken heart or seem to release the pain. The only way I knew how to deal with the pain was to stay completely numb on pills I have gotten off of them a couple of times but then relapsed.
Dad I felt apart of your side of the family tell you died and of course I really have not had much contact with any of them in the last 8 to 10 years I just don't feel connected with very many people.i realize that I have been truly tramatized by yours and moms death and I tend to push people away because I am afraid of ever feeling that deep of pain again.I can't even seem to handle a relationship with anyone it's like if things are going good I will purposely mess then up before anything can go wrong.
The biggest regret I have in life though is messing my relationship up with Brittany
She holds her feelings in like me and is careful of who she let's get close to her.
Dad I wish you and Mom was here I constantly feel all alone and depressed and don't seem to know how to release all this pain that I have in my heart .I don't know if I will ever feel close to family again or loved and safe and secure I think that's why I stayed on the pills for so many years because when I took them I could numb myself from all the pain and memories but I realize I can not stay numb for the rest of my life.
I really have just started to deal with you and Mom so please watch over me dad and help me sort all of this out so I can hopefully start living and feeling again
I love and miss you and Mom more than u will ever know
Dad please give me the strength and the wisdom to know how to fix things between Brittany and me because I am just so lost right now and such a dark place please watch over me
If I don't fix this with Brittany and me don't know how much longer I can do this
I just ended a 8 year relationship with the only person who has been there for me emotionally the only person I have had to do holidays with I know it's been a unhealthy relationship but when it's the only person you have for support or just not to be lonely it's hard to let it go but I did
And if course I spent Thanksgiving totally alone and by my self
I just don't even feel like I even have family other than Kayla
Please help me figure all this out show me a sign because I am tierd if living lonely and depressed
Love your daughter
Kiss mom and 1 legged granny and my dog Stewie that I just had to put down
kayla shugart
July 31, 2011
hey papa i just wanted to tell u i love u and miss you!! theres so much i wanna tell you. JoBeth is pregnant(: and brittany is starting collage. i hope you r having fun in heaven with mimi. i want u to know u r my hero and always will be. noone will ever replace u. i know ur always with me in my heart. i love you so much papa. i have tears in my eyes writting this. i miss all the fun times we had like goin to the store and goin to work with u(: i remember the last night i wanted to stay the night with u. i just want u to know i think about u all the time and i still talk about u alot. i want to tell u were all doin good down here. u really are the greatest man i ever knew. u r so special to me and i wish u were still here (in person). i still remember what u look like and smelt like what u use to wear. i remember u use to make coffee for me to drink with u in the morning while we watched the news(: i miss all the fun times we had. i am so thankful that god let me know u and had u be my papa(= i hope god is taking care of u up there. i love and miss u soooo much papa!! ur always in my thoughts.
kayla shugart~
August 15, 2010
PAPA...
i wanna tell u how much i love you and miss you. i think about u all the time. i still think of u as my hero and always will. tell mimi i said hi love and miss her to. you would be a lil mad i turned into a osu fan not ou like u wanted sorry. i still dont like cobbler lol that was fun. i have so much to tell u but i dont remember it all. i started high school i am a freshmen yay!!! i still hate gettin up early. i cant wait to get a job and work hard like u did. i think when i get older i wanna be a radioligist or pediatrition or cosmitoligy. i will be on soon i love you and everyone up there.
kayla shugart
August 14, 2010
papa i am sorry i havent been on in awhile i will try to be on more often i love u so much i wanna cry just thinkin bout u i miss u i cant wait to see u in heaven i got a dog u would like i have changed so much since u seen me last i was a perky preppy blonde haired little girl then i went burnett then i went emo with black and purple hair now i short long hair its dirty blonde i think i wanna go burnett again. i wanna tell u everything like i do when i pray to u and god and mimi and everyone up there now i cant think of what i wanna say to u. me and josie get along great me and brit get along pretty good i still hate scary movies i talk about u all the time i found out there is a ghost in the school and i think i want u to be there in spirit with me at school to protect me from the ghost and mean kids and stage fright from in drama class. the first day of school and i have a stalker who tells me im hot and im like ugh lol u said i would be so pretty i would have to beet the boys away with a stick and i have lots of new friends and lunch is great but the 2nd day of school someone stole my phone i still think of u when we drive by post rd and everything we did and talked about i will be on again soon i love u with all my heart and miss u more than u know
August 11, 2010
DAD
THERE ARE DAYS I MISS YOU MORE THAN OTHER DAYS LIKE TODAY BUT NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU
DAD SINCE YOU AND MOM HAVE GONE I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALONE IN MY LIFE OR FELT SUCH DEEP DEPRESSION IN FACT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU COULD HAVE DEPRESSION LIKE I HAVE FELT THE ONLY PEOPLE I HAVE TRUELY FELT CLOSE TO IN MY LIFE ARE NOW GONE OR NOT REALLY IN MY LIFE (U MOM GRANDMA KEVIN AND LISSA )I USE TO TELL LISSA EVERYTHING AFTER U AND MOM DIED BUT NOW THERE IS NOT THAT CLOSENESS THAT ONCE WAS AND I AFTER WHAT I WENT THROUGH WITH THAT SITUATION I DONT EVEN FEEL LIKE THERE IS ANYONE I CAN TRUST ENOUGH TO REALLY TELL ALL MY PPROBLEMS TO AND ITS REALLY HARD KEEPING THEM ALL IN AND DEALING WITH THEM ON MY OWN DAD I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW HOW I MADE IT THROUGH THE LAST 2 YRS I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH MORE THAN ANYONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND NOT JUST THE DEPRESSION ADDICTION LONLINESS EMOTIONAL PAIN BUT SO MUCH MORE THAT I CAN EVEN SHARE WITH U ON HERE BUT I KNOW I WILL EVENTUALLY WORK THROUGH ALL THIS I AM ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND I AM LEARNING WHAT DONT KILL U WILL ONLY MAKE U STRONGER DAD I THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR JAY CAUSE IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR HIM I CANT SAY I WOULD BE HERE NOW CAUSE I HAD TRUELY GIVEN UP AND HAD EVEN LOST SITE OF MY GIRLS THATS HOW ALONE I FELT AND DIDNT WANT TO BE HERE ALL I CAN SAY IS JAY CAME BACK INTO MY LIFE THE VERY NIGHT I NEEEDED HIM AND HAS BEEN MY SAVING GRACE I HAVE FELT THE LOVE FROM HIM AND HIS FAMILY THAT I HAD BEEN LONGING FOR SO VERY LONG KAYLA HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO KEEP ME SOME WHAT ON TRACK BUT I EVEN BEGAN TO PULL AWAY FROM HER AND STARTED DETACHING FROM EVERYTHING WITH ANY KIND OF MEANING TO ME I THINK I HAD JUST DECIDED IT HURT TO BAD TO LOVE AND LOSE SO I JUST WASNT GONNA LOVE ANYONE ANYMORE NOT EVEN MY OWN GIRLS I AM STILL TRYING TO DEAL WITH ALL MY FEELINGS OVER THE DIVORCE ALSO I HAD SHUT MYSELF OFF SO MUCH THAT AT CHRISTMAS I DIDNT EVEN ENJOY WATCHING THE GIRLS OPEN PRESENTS AND THAT WAS NOT ME I HAVE MADE ALOT OF MISTAKES BUT I HAD ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD MOM AND AS I STARTED EVEN DETACHING FROM THAT BECAUSE IT JUST HURT TOO MUCH TO LOVE ANYMORE I BEGAN TO WONDER WHY WAS I EVEN STILL HERE DAD AS I AM WORKING ON GETTING IT TOGETHER NOW I SIT BACK AND WONDER HOW I GOT TO THIS POINT IN MY LIFE I HAD ALWAYS TRIED TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS GROWING UP HAD BEEN A GOOD DAUGHTER MOM AND WIFE HOW COULD I GO SO WRONG HOW COULD I HURT THE PEOPLE WHO HAD LOVED ME THE MOST AND I JUST COULDNT OR WOULDNT SEE IT
BUT I CAN HAPPILY SAY MY RELATIONSHIP WITH BRIT IS BETTER THAN IT HAS BEEN IN 2 YRS SHE CALLS ME AT LEAST 5 TIMES A DAY KAYLA AND ME ARE NOT CLOSE AS WE ONCE WAS BUT TALK DAILY AND HOPEFULLY WE WILL GET BACK TO WHERE WE WAS I CHECK ON JOSIE OFTEN AND I HOPE ONE DAY KEVIN AND ME CAN AT LEAST BECOME THE BEST OF FRIENDS AGAIN I KNOW I HURT HIM IN ALOT OF WAYS AND THAT HURT HAS TO HEAL I DONT EXPECT US TO GET BACK TOGETHER AGAIN BUT I CAN SAY I DID LOSE MY BEST FRIEND AND HOPE ONE DAY HE CAN FORGIVE ME AND UNDERSTAND SOME OF THIS
DAD I LOVE U AND PLEASE BE MY GUARDIAN ANGEL AND GUIDE ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTIONS I KNOW COMING TO JAYS FOR A FEW MONTHS WAS THE RIGHT DIRECTION EVEN IF I HAD TO LEAVE THE GIRLS BEHIND TO WORK ON ME BECAUSE IT WASNT ME WHEN I WAS THERE ANYWAY AND I JUST WANT TO GET HEALTHY AGAIN AND BE THE GOOD MOM I ONCE WAS
DAD I KNOW IT IS CRAZY TO WRITE ALL THIS ON HERE BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL CLOSER TO U LIKE I AM TALKING TO U AND IT FEELS GOOD TO GET IT OUT AND NOT KEEP IT ALL BOTTLED UP INSIDE I THINK THIS IS A STEP TO DEALING WITH IT I THINK THAT WAS MY PROBLEM BEFORE I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE AND GET IT OUT OR TRY TO WORK THROUGH IT DAD I STILL HAVE SLEEP ISSUIES AND SOMETIMES NIGHTMARES OF WHAT I WATCHED MOM GO THROUGH THINK IT WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER HAVE ALOT OF GUILT ABOUT MOM THAT I HAVE TO WORK THROUGH AND LEARN TO LET GO I DONT THINK I WILL EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALL SHE SUFFERED I KNOW I WILL NEVER FORGET IT AND THINK SHE HELD ON SO LONG WAITING FOR ME TO TELL HER I WOULD BE OKAY BUT YET AGAIN I COULDNT OR DIDNT WANT TO ACCEPT OR DEAL WITH IT IN FACT WHEN THEY TOLD ME MOM WAS TERMINAL I NEVER TOLD KEVIN BECAUSE I THOUGHT IF I SAID IT OUT LOUD IT WOULD MAKE IT TRUE AND REAL SO KEVIN MISSED TIME WITH MOM CAUSE I COULDNT ACCEPT IT THERE R SO MANY THINGS I WISH I COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE OR DO OVER WELL DAD THIS IS BOUND TO MAKE ME STRONGER WHEN I FINALLY CONQUER THIS RIGHT
LOVE U AND MOM AND I COULDNT HAVE ASKED FOR BETTER PARENTS
LOVE MOOSE
LOVE MOOSE
August 11, 2010
DAD
EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE A MENTAL BREAK DOWN WHEN MOM DIED AND END UP IN A MENTAL WARD,LOOKING BACK NOW I REALIZED I DIDNT BREAK DOWN AT ALL AND WHEN EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS SO STRONG I WASNT I JUST COMPLETELY SHUT DOWN AND REFUSED TO EVEN DEAL WITH MOMS DEATH SO I CARRIED ALL THAT INSIDE ME UNTIL YOU DIED AND THEN I SEEMED TO HOLD IT TOGETHER ON THE OUTSIDE BUT WAS SLOWLY DYING ON THE INSIDE AND MY WORLD AS I KNEW IT WAS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL AND BY THE TIME ANYONE REALIZED I REALLY WASNT OKAY I JUST DIDNT CARE ANYMORE I GAVE UP ON EVERYTHING MY JOB AT THE INSURANCE COMPANY I HAD ALWAYS LOVED MY FAMILY MY FRIENDS AND I HAD FOUND WHAT I THOUGHT WAS MY SAVING GACE (PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION) SPECIFICALLY (PAIN MEDS) BUT I WAS TREATING THE WRONG PAIN WITH THESE MEDS IT WAS EMOTIONAL PAIN NOT PHYSICAL PAIN I REALIZED BY TAKING THESE I COULD FEEL NUMB AND DIDNT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL PAIN AND BY THE TIME ANYONE REALIZED THERE WAS A PROBLEM I WAS VERY ADDICTED AND DIDNT WANT ANY HELP NO MATTER WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES WHERE I JUST BEGIN DISTANCING MYSELF FROM ANYONE WHO WANTED TO HELP ME I STARTED SURROUNDING MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO HAD THE SAME PROBLEM OR ENCOURAGED IT DAD IT HAS TAKEN ME A LONG TIME TO SEE AND ADMITT MY PROBLEMS I REALLY AM TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER FOR MYSELF I HAVE TOLD PEOPLE I WAS DOING BETTER WHEN I WASNT AND EVEN HAD MY SELF BELIEVING I WAS DOING BETTER WHEN I WAS NOT BUT I TOOK A BIG STEP AND TOOK MYSELF OUT OF THE ENVIORNMENT BECAUSE I AM TRUELY READY TO GET IT TOGETHER EVEN IF IT MEANS I NOW HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO DEAL WITH U AND MOM BEING GONE SOBBER I THINK JAY HAS BEEN MY SAVING GRACE I HAVE TRIED TO GET IT TOGETHER THERE BUT FAILED I REALLY THINK I NEEDED MY BROTHER AFTER LOSING KEV I FELT LIKE I HAD NO FAMILY THIS TIME WITH MY BROTHER HAS BEEN JUST WHAT I NEEDED I PUT KEVIN THROUGH ALOT AND BLIEVE ME HE TRIED TO KEEP THE MARRIAGE TOGETHER AND I DONT THINK HE WILL EVER TRUELY UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT OR WHAT I WENT THROUGH AS I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN IT MYSELF BUT THE DIVORCE WAS MY FAULT AND NO ONE ELSES I AM HOPING BY WRITING THIS ALL TO U IT HELPS ME STAY STRONG AND I THINK I NEED TO WRITE ABOUT THIS TO DEAL WITH IT AND GO FORWARD AND THERE IS NO ONE I TRUST MORE IN THIS WORLD TO TALK TO THAN YOU AND MOM IN FACT I HAVE SO MANY TRUST ISSUES NOW AND SOME BIG WALLS TO LEARN TO TAKE DOWN DAD I KNOW U R ALWAYS HERE WITH ME AND LOVE ME UNCONDITINALLY AND WOULD NEVER JUDGE ME LOVE U AND MOM LOTS
LOVE MOOSE
August 9, 2010
DAD
I KEEP THINKING EVENTUALLY SOME OF THE PAIN IN MY HEART WILL GO AWAY BUT IT DOES NOT SEEM TO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME GOES BY IT JUST DONT EASE UP OR HEAL
I STILL THINK OF YOU ALL THE TIME I CANT HELP BUT FEELING CHEATED THAT WE DID NOT GET MORE TIME TOGETHER I SO WISH YOU WAS HERE NOW NOT THAT I EVER JUDGED YOU BUT NOW THAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES I THINK I CAN UNDERSTAND U BETTER
WITH WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS DAD I KNOW THERE IS NO ONE WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND IT BETTER THAN YOU AND I THINK U PROBABLE COULD HAVE HELPED ME GET THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME IN MY LIFE BETTER THAN ANYONE I KNOW U WAS A MAN OF FEW WORDS BUT I COULD HAVE USED SOME OF THE WORDS OF ADVICE U COULD HAVE GIVEN TO ME DAD I CAN NOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW BIG OF AN IMPACT YOU HAD ON KAYLAS LIFE SHE MAY HAVE ONLY BEEN 7 YEARS OLD WHEN YOU DIED BUT SHE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN 20 YRS OLD FOR ALL THE MEMORIES SHE HAS OF YOU I THINK SHE THINKS OF YOU ABOUT AS OFTEN AS I DO SHE WAS TRUELY YOURS AND IF YOU WAS STILL HERE I THINK KEV AND I WOULD HAVE A FIGHT ON OUR HANDS TO KEEP HER LIVING WITH US AND NOT YOU
WELL DAD I LOVE AND MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYONE CAN EVER EVEN KNOW
LOVE MOOSE
July 7, 2010
DAD WOW TWICE IN ONE DAY GUESS U CAN TELL I AM MISSING U ALOT TODAY. I GUESS I WILL NEVER FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY GOD FELT THE NEED TO TAKE BOTH MY PARENTS. I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS SO IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE UNTIL U DIED DAD AND THEN I TRIED TO ACT LIKE EVERYTHING WAS OKAY AND B STRONG AND I GUESS TO EVERYONE AROUND ME IT LOOKED OKAY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WAS SLOWLY DYING AND MY WORLD AS I KNEW IT WAS SPIRALNG OUT OF CONTROL AND BY THE TIME EVERYONE AROUND REALIZED I WAS NOT OKAY IT WAS TO LATE I WAS PAST CARING AND DIDNT WANT TO FIX MY LIFE IT HAS TAKEN ALOT OF TIME FOR ME TO GET TO WHERE I AM NOW AND I WONT LIE IT STILL HURTS LKE HELL BUT I KNOW THE PAIN WILL ALWAYS B THERE AND IT IS TIME TO PICK UP THE PIECES AND PUT MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER I DONT THINK ANYONE AROUND ME WILL EVER TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT AND WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH DAD ALL I CAN SAY IS IT DEFINATELY ROCKED MY WORLD FROM UNDER ME BUT I AM NOW LEARNING WHAT DONT KILL US WILL ONLY MAKE US STRONGER WISH I COULD HAVE LEARNED THIS A FEW YEARS EARLIER WOULD HAVE SAVED ME AND MY FAMILY ALOT OF GRIEF AND POSSIBLE SAVED MY MARRIAGE BUT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON RIGHT I AM GETTING MY LIFE BAC ON TRACK AND TRYING TO DEAL WITH LIFE SOBER AGAIN GUESS A PERSON CAN ONLY STAY NUMB FOR SO LONG AND THEN U EVENTUALLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH LIFE AND THAT IS WHERE I AM AT IN MY LIFE NOW SO DAD PLEASE WATCH OVER ME AND GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH THIS PAIN THAT HAS KEPT ME DOWN FOR SO LONG I KNOW PEOPLE SAY ITS BEEN LONG ENOUGH SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT BUT I GUESS I HAVE ALSO LEARNED I AM A CO DEPENDENT PERSON AND WE ALL KNOW I AM VERY STUBBORN AND LIKE THINGS MY WAY AND THIS WAS WAY OUT OF MY CONTROL AND I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DAL WITH IT UNLESS I WAS NUMB SO I GUESS I HAVE ALSO LEARNED A TOUGH LESSON ABOUT ADDICTION DAD I LOVE U AND MOM WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL PLEASE B WITH ME NOW I NEED U MORE THAN EVER DAD I SO WISH U WAS HERE CAUSE I KNOW THERE IS NO ONE WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND THIS MORE THAN U
MARCY
July 7, 2010
DAD I KNOW ITS BEEN ALONG TIME SINCE I HAVE BEEN ON HERE SORRY SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 2 YEARS IF I EVER NEEDED U IT HAS BEEN OVER THE LAST 2 YEARS BUT I KNOW U R ALWAYS WITH ME I MISS U MORE THAN WORDS CAN EVEN DESCRIBE THERE IS STILL A EMPTY SPOT IN MY HEART EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME THEY SAY TIME HEALS ALL BUT THAT IS NOT TRUE I DONT THINK TIME WILL EVER TAKE THE HURT AWAY FROM MISSING U
I WISH U COULD HAVE SEEN HOW THE GIRLS HAVE GROWN UP TO B REALLY GOOD RESPONSIBLE YOUNG ADULTS U WOULD B SO PROUD KAYLA STILL HOLDS U DEAR TO HER HEART IN FACT THE OTHER DAY KEV WAS TALKING TO HER ABOUT HIS DAD AND ACCIDENTALLY SAID YOUR PAPA AND KAYLA LET HIM KNOW THERE WOULD ONLY B ONE PAPA IN HER LIFE EVER AND THAT IS U SHE STILL TALKS ABOUT U ALOT AND HAS A LOT OF GOOD MEMORIES DAD JUST KNOW I LOVE U AND MOM SO VERY MUCH AND THINK OF U OFTEN LOVE MOOSE
mellissa slawson
October 2, 2009
Kayla,
just wanted to let you know how special you are and let you know that papa is always in your heart
love always
aunt Lissa
kayla shugart
September 17, 2009
papa you are still to this day or any other day special to me i wish u were around to show me weird stuff like u always did are secret that we had only lexi and mommy know so it is still kinda a secret i am probly goin to have 2 knee surgies and 10 teeth pulled for braces i want dark purple ones i am sorry no one ever gets on ur sight me and mom probly will a lot more i have to go scrub my teeth clean cause i want the purple braces and i have to have real clean teeth to get to pic what i want i love you i will say a prayer with your name in it tell everyone i said hi and i love them have fun live up all your wiledest dreams for me and watch the football games i know you want ou to win but i want osu to win sorry i love you goodnight
kayla shugart
August 25, 2009
hey papa its kayla i love u so much i wish u were here i am sorry i havent wrote to u in a while but i will start to again. i love u so much and miss u christmas isnt fun without u i have so much to tell u like i have changed i cut my hair really short and died it black and purple but now it is black brown redish pink i got asked to be in national junier honner society i might do it mommy and daddy devorced jobeth graduated and is movin out on the 1st brittany is workin at cheddars and is still friends with rachael i am still besties with lexi were bout to sell the house sorry tell mimi buddy zana sugar and sacrane i say hi and i love them please and tell sacrene i said stinker dog lol well i got to go i will probly write again tomorrow
JERI PLACE
June 17, 2008
THEY SAY "GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN" & "TIME HEELS ALL WOUNDS" IT MUST TAKE A LOOONG
TIME.JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTON LOVE,
JERI,KARRAH& SHELBY PLACE
June 25, 2007
OUR FAMILY CHAIN IS BROKEN
AND NOTHING SEEMS THE SAME
BUT AS GOD CALLS US ONE BY ONE
THE CHAIN WILL LINK AGAIN
LOVE YA DAD TILL I SEE YOU AGAIN
June 25, 2007
MEMORIAL TEAR
THIS TEARDROP IS IN MEMORY OF SOMEONE LOVED
THE ROSE IS A SYMBOL OF LOVE
THAT NEVER ENDS
LOVE, THE GIFT THAT NEVER ENDS
IS NOW THE TREASURE
IN OUR TEARS
MARCY
kayla shugart
January 16, 2007
hey papa it's kayla again we had a snow day today so i thought i would write to you i love you and i miss you so much you were the best papa a kid could ever ask for in the world!!!u were awsome mommy's birthday is comin up i am on the phone and i just hit a desk table thing it really really hurt well i love and miss u and i am gonna go love u bye
KAYLA SHUGART
December 6, 2006
In My Pocket
I have memories in my pocket.
They rattle among the change.
My memories of you are treasures I carry wherever I go.
They are stored in bits and pieces, parts of a beautiful whole
They give me comfort when I think I am alone.
Yes, I have memories in my pocket, like so much other stuff I keep there.
But of all the treasures I have, it’s the memories of you that are the most precious.
MARCY SHUGART
December 6, 2006
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."
It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.
Ruth Ann Mahaffey (author)
©Copyright 1998-2006
kayla shugart
June 3, 2006
hey papa you were the best papa a kid could ask for i love you so much thank you for always being there for me i love you so much and your so nice all the time and you always make me laugh and smile you were the best and i love you so much im glad you not in pain any more cause i now you didn't want to be in pain any more cause no one deservs to be in pain and i now your in heven with mimi now your in heven and you don't have to be in pain any more love you rest in peace love you
kayla shugart
June 3, 2006
papa we miss you so much but were glad that your not in pain any more cause we now that god is taking care of you and mimi now and everyone else that has past away and went to heven
MARCY SHUGART
April 4, 2006
DAD WE FINALLY GOT MOVED IN YOUR HOUSE I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT KEVIN PUT ALOT OF SWEAT AND HARD WORK INTO GETTING IT FIXED UP I KNOW IT WAS ALWAYS YOUR DREAM FOR US TO MOVE OVER HERE I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT NOW WELL I LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH AS DOES EVERYONE ELSE
I GET THROUGH THE DAYS KNOWING YOU ARE WITH MOM AND NO LONGER SUFFERING AND HURTING ANYMORE
DAD I KNOW YOU WHERE GETTING TIERD FOR A WHILE NOW
LOVE YOU
LOVE MOOSE
marcy
February 19, 2006
DAD JUST WANTED U TO KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU AND MISSING YOU. YOU WOULD BE SO PROUD WE HAVE BEEN FIXING YOUR HOUSE UO AND ARE GETTING READY TO MOVE INTO IT VERY SOON AND I KNOW THAT WAS ALWAY'S YOUR PLAN FOR US TO MOVE OVER THERE. (I ONLY WISH YOU WERE HERE TO SEE ALL WE HAVE DONE ) i know YPU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE NOW AND UP THERE WITH MOM (I KNOW THAT IS WHERE YOU WOULD RATHER BE I KNOW YOU MISSED MOM AND LOVED HER WITH ALL YOUR HEART ) TELL MOM I LOVE AND MISS HER TERRIBLE ALSO BUT I GET THROUGH EACH DAY WITH GOD HOLDING MY HAND , AND KEVIN AND THE GIRLS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY I LOVE YOU BOTH
MARCY
kayla shugart
November 28, 2005
I love you and I never new that people could wake up and they would be gone. and I love you papa. you were the best papa a kid new you were so nice you always made me laugh mostly when I was sad
MARCY (MOOSE) SHUGART
October 11, 2005
THE GREATEST FATHER
THROUGH TEAR- FILLED EYE'S, I ASKED THE LORD WHY HE TOOK MY DAD.
HE WAS THE BEST OF FATHER'S A GIRL HAD EVER HAD.
GOD LOOKED DOWN WITH PITY, AND I FELT WARMTH IN HIS SMILE.I THOUGHT I FELT HIM HOLD ME AS HE SAID " DON'T CRY MY CHILD", YOU SEE I FELT LONELY FOR THE CHILD I ONCE KNEW.HE ASKED TO BE A " FATHER" SO I LENT HIM DEAR, TO YOU, BUT JUST LIKE ANY PATIENT, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ALONE, SO AS YOUR DAD GREW OLDER I FELT THE NEED TO BRING HIM HOME.I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW SICK YOUR FATHER WAS, AND HOW HIS BODY FAILED.
I KNEW THEN GOD'S SWEET MERCY ONCE AGAIN PREVAILED
HE COULDN'T WATCH DAD SUFFER AS IT TORE HIM ALL APART.
JUST LIKE ANY PARENT , HIS CHILDREN ARE HIS HEART.
THOUGH IT WAS HARD TO SAY " GOODBYE", MY MIND WAS NOW AT PEACE
I STARTED TO SAY "THANK YOU " LORD FOR PUTTING DAD AT PEACE, THEN AS THE WORDS BEGAN TO COME, I KNEW DEEP IN MY SOUL MY LORD 1N HEAVEN IS THE GREATEST FATHER, A GIRL COULD KNOW
LOVE YA LOTS & 4 EVER IN MY HEART
LOVE MOOSE
Barbara Evans-Ratti
September 3, 2005
Marcy and Jay, Just a word of love to you both. I think of Uncle Billy often and of your great loss and pain. I pray that the days get easier to go through and that Gods love will bring you peace.
I love you both, Barbara
MARCY SHUGART
August 9, 2005
DAD
THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS GOING ON RIGHT NOW AND I WISH YOU WERE HERE TO TALK AND GET YOUR ADVICE. DAD I KNOW YOU DID NOT TALK ALOT BUT YOU WERE A GREAT LISTENER, AND YOU COULD GIVE GOOD ADVICE WHEN I REALLY NEEDED IT. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW. DAD PLEASE WATCH OVER JAY AND HIS FAMILY HE NEEDS IT RIGHT NOW. I KNOW GOD IS AT MY SIDE NOW BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE NOT GOT THIS FAR WITHOUT HIM. I AM NOT THAT STRONG OF A PERSON ON MY OWN
LOVE YOU LOTS
MOOSE
marcy shugart
July 29, 2005
DAD,
THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I WISH I HAD SAID AND ALWAY'S THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE PLENTY OF TIME. I GUESS IT MAKES YOU REALIZE IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY DONT WAIT THINKING THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME OR A PERFECT MOMENT TO SAY IT, BECAUSE THE PERFECT MOMENT IS NOW. DAD I WOULD HAVE SAID I LOVE YOU A MILLION MORE TIMES AND THAT I REALLY NEEDED YOU HERE. I HAVE SUCH AN EMPTY SPOT IN MY HEART DAD THAT ONLY YOU COULD FILL. AND I HOPE YOU KNEW HOW SPECIAL YOU WERE TO ME AND HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU, I KNOW I DID'T ALWAY'S SAY IT OR SHOW IT AND I COULD SOMETIMES BE DEMANDING AND BOSSY, BUT I ALWAY'S JUST WANTED THE BEST FOR YOU. DAD I KNOW WE WERE NOT ALWAYS CLOSE AND WE MISSED OUT ON ALOT OF TIME BUT THE TIME WE DID SHARE TOGETHER MEANS MORE TO ME THEN YOU CAN KNOW. DAD I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU WERE A GREAT MAN AND A WONDERFUL FATHER AND I WOULDNT TRADE YOU IN FOR ANYONE. YOU WERE THE BEST PA PA THE GIRLS AND JAYS BOYS COULD HAVE DREAMED FOR. YOU GAVE THEM SO MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES THAT THEY WILL HOLD DEAR TO THERE HEART FOREVER. DAD YOU MADE SUCH AN INPACT ON SO MANY MORE PEOPLE'S LIVES THAN YOU EVER KNEW. I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE THE WILD BLACK SHEEP IN THE FAMILY BUT SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN GONE I REALIZE YOU WERE THE GLUE TO THE FAMILY WE ALL DEPENDED ON YOU IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. DAD YOU HAD TO BE ONE OF THE HARDEST WORKING MEN I HAVE EVER KNOW AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD, I KNOW IT IRRITATED ME AT THE END WHEN I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD BE TAKING IT EASY AND YOU KEPY UP WITH YOUR HARD PERFECTIONIST PACE. I LOVE YOU DAD AND ALWAYS WILL. I THINK THE ONLY THING THAT GETS THROUGH THIS SOME DAYS IS KNOWING YOU ARE WITH MOM AGAIN AND I KNOW THAT IS THE PLACE YOU MOST WANTED TO BE AND I KNOW YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF HER UNTIL I SEE BOTH OF YOU AGIAN TELL MOM AND GRANDMA I LOVE THEM LOVE YOU LOTS YOUR MOOSE
MARCY SHUGART
July 14, 2005
DAD
IT'S BEEN A WHILE AND IT IS NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU HERE. I MISS YOU SO MUCH NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T HAVE A THOUGHT OR MEMORY ABOUT YOU OR MOM. I THINK THE ONLY THING THAT HELPS ME GET THROUGH IT IS KNOWING YOU ARE NOT HURTING ANYMORE AND YOU ARE WITH MOM AGAIN AND I KNOW YOU HAVE MISSED HER TERRIBLE. JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN AND WE ALL MISS AND LOVE YOU. YOU WILL ALWAY'S BE ALIVE IN MY HEART AND I WILL ALWAY'S KEEP YOUR MEMORY ALIVE IN THE GIRLS. YOU WERE A GREAT PA PA AND THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE THERE MEMORIES TO KEEP THEM GOING
WE LOVE YOU DAD AND (MOM) AND MISS YOU TILL WE SEE YOU AGAIN YOU WILL BE OUR GUARDIAN ANGELS
LOVE YOU LOTS MARCY KEVIN & GIRLS
Dip MCKinley
March 4, 2005
Marcy, Jay and families,I knew Billy long ago when we were only in our twenties. There was a time when he stayed at my house for several months. I loved him before he became my uncle, I will miss him sorely. Dip MCKinley
Barbara Ratti
January 22, 2005
Marcy and Jay,
Although a couple of months have passed, I have kept you in my heart. I have Uncle Billy there, along with all the others we have lost. I know that as long as I keep him (all of them) in my heart we're really not so far apart.
Still missing him and still loving all of you.
marcy shugart
December 29, 2004
DAD WE MADE IT THROUGH THE HOLIDAY'S (IT WAS DEFINATELY NOT THE SAME WITH OUT YOU) YOU ARE MISSED SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE I AM REALIZING NOW YOU WERE THE GLUE THAT HELD THIS FAMILY TOGEHER DAD I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND NOW SEE I WAS AS DEPENDENT ON YOU AS YOU WERE ON ME THERE ARE SO MANY MORE THINGS I WANTED TO SAY TO YOU AND WISH WE WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TOGETHER BUT I KNOW YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING ANYMORE AND YOU ARE WITH MOM NOW DAD KAYLA IS REALLY LOST WITH OUT HER PAPA HERE BUT SHE WILL GET THROUGH THIS WITH TIME AND PRAYERS JUST KNOW I LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER MARCY
Barbara Ratti
December 8, 2004
Marcy, I want to say thanks for keeping this guest book open. It will give us a chance to share with you how much we love and miss Uncle Billy. Hopefully some of our words will bring a smile to you and Jay and help to ease your pain. I will miss Uncle Billy so much, he was a good uncle to me.
Kim Swope
December 7, 2004
Marcie,Jay and families,
I am so sorry about Uncle Billy. He will be missed.All of you are in my prayers.
All my love
Kim and Family
lacie mcdaniel
December 7, 2004
Marcy and Jay, im sorry i couldnt come but i want you to know how much i love you and i am praying for you. i think uncle billy will be missed by everyone so much more than he ever imagined. he was a great man and he loved his family so much. we will all miss him.
kayla shugart
December 7, 2004
LETTER WROTE BY KAYLA TO PAPA
PAPA
THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS LEFT UNSAID LIKE GOODBYE AND I LOVE YOU.
ALL THOSE SPECIAL MOMENTS WE SHARED TOGETHER .THANK YOU FOR ALL THOSE TIMES YOU MADE ME FEEL SO SPECIAL AND LOVED. I LOVE YOU ,THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO SHOW ME HOW SPECIAL YOU WERE TO ME. FOR TEACHING ME WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT IN ALL LIFE, AND ALL THOSE TIMES YOU TOOK ME TO WORK SO I COULD LEARN THE REAL YOU ,THE YOU THAT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME. THANK YOU FOR REALIZING HOW IMPORTANT TREATS AND CANDY ARE TO ME, AND KEEPING ME SUPPLIED EVEN IF WE HAD TO WALK AND GET IT OURSELVES. YOUR HUGS MEANT EVERYTHING TO ME. I WILL ALWAYS FEEL YOUR ARMS AROUND ME THROUGH THE HARD TIMES IN MY LIFE HOLDING ME THROUGH EVERY TEAR. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU ARE THE MOST SPECIAL PERSON TO ME. I WISH YOU WERE HERE NOW. THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME SO MUCH ABOUT LOVE ,I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU YOUR VERY OWN KAYLA AYLA
Debbie Forbus
November 28, 2004
Marcy and Jay, Sorry we couldn't make it there, I miss you'll and you'll are in my prayers. I will miss Uncle Billy, I will always remember him deeply in my heart.
Love always,
Debbie
Helen Sherwani
November 28, 2004
Dear Marcy and Jay, I know what a painful time this is for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Uncle Billy was a good man and I know he will be missed. Love to you all. Helen, Malik and Sunnia
Mike and Angie Evans
November 28, 2004
We are so sorry about losing Billy.
He was a great friend to MIke.
And we will miss him very much.
Barbara Ratti
November 25, 2004
Marcy and Jay,
My heart hurts for you. I know how much your daddy means to all of you. I love Uncle Billy and will miss him very much.
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