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Mark Stewart Obituary
Family-Placed Funeral Notice
MARK A. STEWART 53, of Lansdale, passed away on September 29 in his home. He was the husband of Elizabeth (Betty) Stewart. Born in Easton, PA, he was the son of Miriam (Friedman) Stewart, Lake Worth, FL (formerly of Easton and Allentown) and the late Frank Stewart. After graduating from Easton Area High School in 1970, he attended The Pennsylvania State University and, in 1974, earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science. He held management positions in information technology at IBM Corporation, Digital Equipment Corporation, McNeil Pharmaceuticals division of Johnson & Johnson, US Healthcare, and it successor, Aetna Healthcare, from which he retired. Afflicted with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) six years ago, Mark and Betty became very active in fund-raising for the Delaware Valley Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. They organized a cycling team, “Mark's Tsunami Riders,” which participates in the annual “MS 150 City to Shore Bike Tour” with all contributions and sponsorships going to MS research. The team will continue its work each year in Mark's memory. He was a former member of Temple Covenant of Peace, Easton. In addition to his wife and mother, he is survived by his sister Jill Stewart Narrow and brother-in-law Hank Narrow of Allentown (South Whitehall Township). Mark is also survived by his mother-in-law Lydia Brunswick, three brothers-in-law and their families of the Philadelphia area. A memorial service will be held on Tuesday at 11 AM at Ciavarelli Family Funeral Home, 951 Butler Pike, Ambler, PA. Arrangements will be made by Goldsteins' Rosenberg's Raphael Sacks Inc. Friends will be received at the Allentown home of Jill and Hank Narrow that evening between 7:30 pm and 9:30 pm. Contributions may be made to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society at Delaware Valley Chapter of the NMSS, 1 Reed St., Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19147. To express condolences and/or make donations Visit PalmBeachPost.com/obituaries
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Memories and Condolences
for Mark Stewart
Tony & Debbie & Adam & Ms Cynthia Brunswick & Moore Families
September 26, 2007
Dear Betty, Our thoughts & prayers are with you on the 1 year of our beloved Mark's death. Mark will always be with us. Our prayers are with you for strenght,wisdom, and guidance to carry you through today and always. Always know that we are here for you. Love,Hugs & Kisses from us all
Paul Jaffe
October 9, 2006
10/3/06
Dear Mark,
I’m not sure what’s the best way to keep in touch with you, now. Betty called to say you passed, so I’m guessing phone calls and e-mails won’t work too well. I figured I’d try this. Let me know what you think.
The other day when you were in the hospital with your stupid lung cancer and we were talking, you said you didn’t want to get too maudlin, but that you considered me a best friend. It got me to thinking.
First of all, for me to call you a best friend is so trite. It’s like saying the sky is blue or grass is green or BMWs are better than Yugos. It’s so obvious, it’s axiomatic. When the doctor hit’s my knee with the little rubber hammer, my knee jerks as a reflex quicker than any thought can be sent from my brain. When anyone asks me who’s my best friend, the words “Mark Stewart” come out of my lips without any conscious thought. There’s nothing subjective about it. It’s an objective reality.
Do you remember when we first met? I know we had the same 6th grade class in Palmer school in Easton Pennsylvania. That would’ve been 43 years ago in 1963. In the 6thgrade I weighed only 49 pounds and felt like a subspecies of human, but you saw past that and gave me the best gift I could’ve asked for: treating me like a normal person. Of course during high school you had your Beatles haircut so others thought of you as edgy and rebellious. I knew you were just Mark.
I remember going to your house, or you coming to mine. We were together a lot. I think my siblings considered you as another brother. I don’t remember us doing special things. Maybe that’s the definition of a best friend: someone you enjoy doing routine things with. So why exactly did we become friends? I mean other than the obvious fact that we shared values, and could guess what the other person was thinking 90% of the time. As much as it’s totally uncool to admit to having Geek-like tendencies, let’s be honest: We both have a little bit of Geek in us. Look, since it’s just the two of us talking, see what you think of this theory:
When you read a great book, it’s not important what kind of paper or ink is used. That’s just the medium. It’s not even that important what words are used. What IS important is: Does the story carry you away? Get you thinking? Get you feeling? I couldn’t begin to count the hours we talked about cars, stereos, computers, music, or philosophy. Maybe the cars and stereos are like paper and ink. Maybe having someone to share your mind’s natural rhythms with is like the feeling of a good story. I think the important thing is to attain a resonance with your own natural thought processes. Sometimes the paper and ink is relationships. Sometimes it’s doing meaningful work. Sometimes it’s helping others. For the geek in us, it’s about finding problems to analyze. The geekiness is just the medium, not the message.
Now of course I would NEVER tell anyone else about this, they’d probably miss the point, but remember when we were roommates in college, and you were driving your electric blue Chevy Camaro and you wanted to see how fast it would go? Maybe it wasn’t important that we got to 130 miles per hour. Maybe the important thing was having someone to SHARE going 130 miles an hour with.
So, let’s do a little scientific experiment: I’ll give you a few of my strong memories, then you can give me some that you remember that I’ve forgotten, and then we can figure out what part is the important part. What part is the paper & ink and what part is the heart?
Ready? OK...
Number 1: We’re in Penn State. You see a poster for a Transcendental Meditation lecture. When we go, we see that the speaker is a somewhat of a nerd, but he introduces his girlfriend who is gorgeous and wearing this awesome purple miniskirt. How much were we impressed by what he said and how much by his girlfriend?
Number 2: Our first year at college, we both play a little bit of guitar, but I can’t sing more than two notes and stay in tune. You patiently work with me on that Moody Blues song and teach me to stay in tune.
Number 3: Your house had one of the first color TV’s. Since only a few shows, like Star Trek, are in color, we play with the controls to turn the black & white show about the dolphin, Flipper, into shades of blue like the ocean.
Number 4: In high school, we head up the committee to write the Creative Services for the Temple. After spending hours in streams of consciousness, we come up with the theme” The journey is more important than the destination.” I’ve seen that theme numerous times since, but I do believe we came up with that idea independently.
Number 5: We eat Philadelphia cheese steaks in the restaurant near our college
apartment, and play air hockey.
Number 6: You figure out a piano arrangement for “House of the Rising Sun”. To this day, it’s one of the few songs I can play from memory.
Number 7: Remember in high school when we tried to decide what part of the female anatomy we were most attracted to? Were we leg men? Were we most attracted to other parts? In all of history, how many other millions of teenagers had the same conversation?
Number 8: We were playing Frisbee in college, one of the few sports I was really good at. I could throw the Frisbee quite far and was deadly accurate. Our roommate, Roomie, as we called him, could throw a little further, but made no effort at all to throw to me, he just tried to throw as far as he could and made me chase it. It’s one of the few times I saw you get really upset. You yelled at Roomie then stormed off. Not for yourself, but because you were annoyed on my behalf.
Number 9: When we were young, we played games with reversing letters in names. Mark Stewart became Kram Trawets. Paul Jaffe became Luap Effaj, and, our favorite, Robert Kilbanks became Trebor Sknablik. How many times in our lives did we say Trebor Sknablik? How much pleasure did recalling that goofiness give us?
Oh. Switching subjects for a moment. I found some photos on my computer. I’ll give them to Betty and she can share them with you when you have the time. They’re all between 1996 and 2003. Thanks again for being my best man in June of ‘96 at my wedding reception. I still remember your speech. You said I research things for a long time before making decisions, which is I why I waited until my 40’s to get married. That got a good laugh. It got a good laugh because it had more than a little ring of truth.
There are some photos of you and Betty, when you went to Japan with Miyako and me later in ‘96. There’s a beautiful picture of you and Betty when we went to Hearst’s castle in‘98, which I guess was just a little before you got the MS. Then I’ve got some photos of Betty, Miyako, you, and me in Cambria, Manhattan Beach, and Pennsylvania.
Oh, and I enjoyed you introducing me to the new type of Sushi (the live scallop) in May of this year. Here, I live in Japan for two years, and you’re still the one teaching me about some Japanese foods.
I don’t know about the destination, but without getting too maudlin, I’ve got to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed our journeys together. I know we go long periods these days before seeing each other, but your life has been interwoven with mine so deeply, that to determine where I end and you begin would just be an artificial distinction.
Take care. Talk to you later.
Love,
Hank Narrow
October 6, 2006
Eulogy Given By Hank Narrow
________________________________
Mark is at his eternal rest. He is at peace.
I’ll tell you more about Mark. But, first, I want to let you know what lessons I learned by observing Mark in his struggle.
As most of you know, Mark was afflicted with the most insidious of diseases, multiple sclerosis. I didn’t know much about MS at the time….not until Mark got it. It was a disease that other people got. Over a span of six years, MS slowly took its toll. And, we learned the horrors of what this disease does to the human body. But Mark did not let that stop him. He didn’t wallow in sorrow and self-pity. He did not let it defeat him.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, in March he was told he had late stage lung cancer. We were astounded. Mark never smoked. How could he possibly have lung cancer? Again, Mark stood up to it and decided to fight. He endured daily doses of radiation and weekly chemotherapy treatments.
We all ask “why did this happen to Mark?” “Wasn’t MS enough?” “Why did he have to get lung cancer, too?” “Why did he have to suffer?” “Why didn’t the treatments work?” “Why didn’t he go into remission?”
The answers elude us. And, his experience is beyond our comprehension. But he taught us a lesson. He showed bravery, strength, courage, determination, and commitment.
And, speaking of determination, I would be remiss without mentioning his support system. Betty was with him all the way. She was dedicated to Mark’s care and comfort 24 x 7. Imagine the daily drive from Lansdale to Lankenau for months on end. She worked tirelessly to tend to Mark and provide comfort and care. And, Mark and Betty’s great friend, Lori Roberts, was there, too. Everyone should have a friend like Lori. She worked with Betty to form an exceptional tag team of care and love.
So, we’ve seen uncommon courage and dedication. Never did anyone consider giving up.
And, now, a little bit about Mark. Mark was four years younger than his sister, Jill. So, he was the “little brother” who was still growing up when I started dating his older sister. Younger brothers can be a hassle. But we got along real well. I guess I won his approval. So, you see, he had impeccable taste.
Jill remembers Mark’s interest in ham radio. She can still remember the Mark’s call letters: WA3ICL. She heard him broadcasting those call letters very night from his bedroom next door to hers. He used the ham radio to meet new and interesting people from around the world. Of course, Mark built his own ham radio. This was a precursor of his interest in gadgets and technology.
Mark was an early aficionado of the martial arts and took karate lessons as a youngster. As an adult, he earned a number of belts in different disciplines and also became a Tai Chi instructor.
As you can see, Mark had diverse interests from an early age. But that’s not all.
There was the time he tried to scare the life out of me. As a high school student, Mark had a muscle car….a supped up blue Camaro. And, one day he took me for a ride in that blue car around some back roads not far from his house in Easton. We were going so fast, I didn’t think he could stop in time before we ran into a barn or cow pasture. My knuckles were white from holding onto the dashboard so hard. From that point on, I did the driving. But he always showed an interest in cars and, as he matured, so did his tastes. No more muscle cars.
Another side of Mark’s personality has been related by my mother who lives in Florida. My mother suffers from inoperable lung-cancer. She was very fond of Mark and during his illness they communicated by phone and e-mail. My mom called it a “special relationship” in which both of them made light of their conditions. She said he didn’t dwell on himself. He was extremely considerate and made mom’s situation more important than his.
THD? Anyone know what that means? It stands for Total Harmonic Distortion. It’s a measure in analyzing the quality of a stereo receiver. Mark taught me how to shop for electronic equipment. Remember the old Silo stores? Silo preceded Circuit City and Best Buy. Mark was a real devotee of electronic equipment. And, he used to take me shopping at Silo. We’d go in and buy two of everything, one for him, and one for me. When I shopped by myself, I always told the clerk I wanted to know the THD. They thought I knew what I was talking about. But it was Mark who was the real audiophile.
At one time, Mark was also very interested in photography. He would always have a camera with the latest features. And, his creative side also came out when he combined photography with computer graphics. He had a hobby of making magazine covers. They looked like the real McCoy. For our 30th anniversary, he re-created the cover of People magazine and named Jill and me “couple of the year.” You would never guess that it was anything but the real thing.
And, speaking of anniversaries, Mark and Betty shared the same anniversary as Jill and me. That was very considerate…so we’d never forget theirs. How clever!
And, did I mention that Mark was also the best man at our wedding?
As everyone knows, Mark’s career was built around information technology: computers. So, earning a degree in computer science from Penn State was natural and fundamental to his career choice. I might add that Mark followed in my footsteps by going to Penn State. We were avid Nittany Lion football fans.
Mark prospered in his professional career in information technology. He advanced through a number of companies such as IBM, Digital Equipment, McNeil Labs, and US Healthcare which is now Aetna Healthcare.
But Mark also became our personal Help Desk. Whenever Jill or I had a problem with our computers, we would always call Mark. In fact, Mark had Jill install PC Anywhere on her computer so he could take control of her system remotely and fix whatever she had broken. Even though Mark though Jill and I were totally computer-challenged, he had a lot of patience with us because, in the scheme of things, these were small problems compared to those he dealt with at work on a daily basis.
Mark and Betty loved art and beauty. They have an extensive collection of art glass. They also spent a lot of time decorating their home. And, while they have many beautiful things, Mark was very unpretentious. Mark never made things more important than people.
He was also a devoted son to his mother Miriam and his father, Frank Stewart who passed away in 1981, also too young. The closeness with his mother continued throughout his adult life, even after she moved to Florida. A few years ago, he and Betty bought a timeshare in the West Palm Beach area so they could see her. They did this at a time in the cycle of Mark’s worsening MS where it became increasingly difficult for him to travel. Yet he was committed to visiting his mother in Florida. Until the last few weeks, Mark and Mimi spoke on the phone several times a day.
And, he also had special affection and love for his mother-in-law, Lydia. Lydia was part of Mark’s special support system, too.
I hope I’ve captured the essence of Mark Stewart…the many facets of his life. He was kind, considerate, patient, gentle, generous, compassionate, articulate, unpretentious, creative, brave, courageous, strong, committed, determined, inquisitive, and intelligent. He was a wonderful husband, son, son-in-law, brother, brother-in-law, friend, co-worker, and Help Desk. WA3ICL has signed off. Mark….we’ll miss you. You were a very good guy. You left us too soon. We will always have you in our hearts. And, we will always love you.
Sally C
October 6, 2006
Dear Betty,
Please accept my condolences for your loss.
I knew Mark through our sharing of support at an MS forum. I shall miss him.
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Laura Randolph
October 6, 2006
Betty, my heart goes out to you. Losing a husband is a terrible thing. Losing a man as kind and wise as Mark will leave a void in the lives of many. I'm another person who met Mark at PT (the MS board) and continued my friendship with him when posting at The Island of MSfit Toys.
I can honestly say that, though I never met Mark, he was an important part of my life and was someone I considered to be a trusted friend. He was someone I could turn to for advice, for non-judgemental understanding, a laugh, a recipie or conversation about gourmet cooking. I hope I was able to be as good a friend for him as he was for me.
Betty, you don't know many of us from the online MS community. I hope that you can take some comfort in the fact that many people were praying for Mark and that he was very important to people whom you don't know. Our hearts aren't as broken as yours, of course. Many tears have been shed, all over the country and world, on behalf of your wonderful husband. Thank you for sharing a little piece of Mark with us. He added a little sunshine into the lives of people who otherwise may not have had much of it in their lives. Please accept my condolences. My prayers for Mark are now turned toward you.
Bright Feather Miller
October 6, 2006
Dear Betty ~ My heart goes out to you and your family in this difficult time, but I want you to know how much Mark touched my life as a member of our MS family at Plain Talk. He was so warm and friendly and always made me laugh!
I will miss his friendship, but I am glad that his suffering is over, and he is now in a place of comfort.
You and your family are in my prayers, as Mark was for so long.
Martin Hampton
October 6, 2006
Mark became a friend through the MS forums. I'm Mark's age and also have the disease. He has done wonderful things for the MS community and gained many friends. We all prayed for his recovery and comfort in our own ways. His wit, brillance and empathy are missed.
Theresa
October 6, 2006
My deepest sympathy to Mark's family. I knew him from a MS forum also. May he rest in peace.
Sandra P. - MS Buddy
October 6, 2006
It is with a heavy heart that I write this. Mark, you were a beautiful person to speak with, always a smile in your voice, never a bad word about anyone.
I shall miss you, my MS buddy, and the skype chats we had.
All my love goes out to you Betty at this your time in mourning. May you take comfort in all the good memories of Mark.
Linda Francisco
October 5, 2006
A true gentle-man. He will be missed.
Cherie B
October 5, 2006
Mark will be missed terribly by those of us in the MS community who have come to know his wisdom and indominitable spirit and loyalty. Betty, We are so sorry for your loss and we grieve his passing.
Ian Parberry
October 5, 2006
My sincerest condolences to Mark's family. I also knew Mark from an online forum and noticed his recent absence. He will be missed.
Janet Smith
October 5, 2006
Mark made me think. Mark made me be kind to myself. Most of all, Mark made me laugh. I will miss his friendship and support. I will fill my heart with his memory but there will be still some empty space left.
Chuck Sorrow
October 5, 2006
I am sorry for your loss. Mark was a wonderful man. I got to know him thru an internet group called Plain Talk. We kept him in our thoughts and prayers until the end. He will be missed by many, including his family at Plain Talk.
Angela
October 5, 2006
I also have multiple sclerosis. I met Mark at an online commmunity for people with MS. He was truly an asset to the community and will be greatly missed.
My thoughts are with Mark's family.
Deidra Neal
October 5, 2006
Mark was gentle, kind, loving, generous, and one of the most understanding people I have ever known. He was a poet. My heart aches for his wife and family's loss. I know that throughout his last months, he was surrounded by all the love and caring that anyone could ever have. I will miss his graciousness and friendship terribly. What a tremendous loss to this world.
Mark & Betty (family & Friends)
October 4, 2006
Mark's Family Photos (growing up)
October 4, 2006
Carole Moffo
October 3, 2006
Betty,
I am very lucky to have know Mark, I will truly miss him. Who will I call to talk to about American Idol. Hold on to the memories they will give you much happiness. Mark will now be your guardian angel. Mark is in a better place now with no pain. I wish I could do more to help you with your pain and loss. Love you,
Carol with an e
Alicia Thompson
October 3, 2006
Betty,
My sincere condolences go out to you and your family. Please remember that although Mark is not physically here with you, he will always be in you heart and your memories will last you a lifetime. Mark isn't suffering anymore; he’s finally at peace
You are in my prayers. Love you.
Rich & Nancy Castor
October 2, 2006
Mark, a good friend, gentle person with a warm heart. He brought compassion, honesty and integrity to every relationship and experience. Mark was someone, you always wanted as part of your team, by your side, as you tackled that next challenge, because you knew that Mark would help you get through. I will always hold a fond memory of Mark, and like many, wish I could have spent more time with him. Our hearts and sympathy go out to Betty, his family and others feeling his loss.
David Wharton
October 2, 2006
Betty,
On behalf of myself, my wife Kati, and Hass and Company, I am expressing my sincerest condolences to you. Mark was a great person and I am proud to say I knew him. Let us know if there is anything we can do.
David
Edna and Clarence Kratz
October 2, 2006
Dear Betty;
Our prayers are with you as they were with Mark. It was such a pleasure to have known him.
we will never forget the pleasant conversations we had by the pool and on the patio.
We will miss him very much.
But now ,all the pain and suffering are gone and he will dwell in the house of our Lord forever.
He was truely a good friend and neighbor.
Our love to you and your family.
Edna and Clarence
David, Lydia and Ronald Israel
October 2, 2006
I wish I knew the words or the way
to ease your hurt a little.
Dear Betty be sure to have your friends around you, but also those far away.
Mark, our good friend, you will always be remembered.
Becky Goldenberg
October 2, 2006
Kim, Edan, Hans, and I offer our sincerest condolences. May Mark's memory be a comfort to you.
Mr. and Mrs. Sidney Sims
October 2, 2006
Betty,
Our prayers are with you. It was a pleasure having the opportunity to have met Mark.
In times such as this, we can thank God for loaning us such a beautiful person such as Mark.
May you find comfort in knowing that we are not saying good bye to him, but good night.
He is at rest with the Lord.
We will see him again.
May God comfort you and the family as you are all in our prayers.
Sidney and Ellen Sims
Al LoStracco
October 2, 2006
Betty,
I know this is a difficult time. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your Pal Al
The Stewarts,Brunswicks, Johnsons,Moores last family photo together
October 1, 2006
Sandra, Stephen & Victoria Kaufer
October 1, 2006
In times of sadness, may all the memories held deep within your heart, help to soothe your spirit at this difficult time.
You're in our prayers.
Tony & Debbie & Adam Brunswick & Family
October 1, 2006
Dear Betty, Your lost is our lost, too. Mark was a big part of our family as a brother, Uncle & friend. Although he is gone from us here our memories will always be with us. Know one could have asked for a better brother(in-law)or Uncle. We all are truly sadden and bless that his suffering is over and he now rejoices with the Lord. Our prayers go out to Mark's mother & sister & family, and mother (in-law). May the Lord continue to keep us all in his care. For your reading: John 3:16,17
Lamar Freed
October 1, 2006
It was a pleasure to know Mark and to share his life for the short time that I knew him. My thoughts are with Betty and the others who were close to him, particularly his mother. May your memories of Mark be comforting ones as you grieve.
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