Leo J. Wapelhorst Jr.

1937 - 2025

Leo J. Wapelhorst, Jr.

September 26, 1937 - July 5, 2025

Leo J. Wapelhorst, Jr., passed peacefully, with his daughter holding his hand on Saturday, July 5, 2025. Although dementia affected his later years, Leo lived his life with passion, grace, humility, and courage. He was born in 1937 in Colwich, Kan., as the eldest child of Leo M. Wapelhorst and Walburga (Orth) Wapelhorst.

Leo developed a strong work ethic early on, earning money as a kid by tossing hay bales for a penny each. He always said he made a lot of money doing that, this is also probably why he was still strong as an ox, well into his eighties. There were lots of stories told about what life was like in rural Kansas in the 1940's, such as the value of a sears catalogue being much different for those without indoor plumbing, or how all of the socks in the house were allegedly kept in a box, and if you got up too late, you might not end up with two, or how the kids had to scrape the frogs off the butter when it was hauled up from the well each morning (where it was stored to keep cool). There was always a lot of laughter when Leo told stories about his childhood.

He graduated from Andale High School in 1955, and worked his way through college, graduating with a BSEE degree in 1961 from Wichita State University. He was working for the newly formed Federal Aviation Administration in Kansas City when he met the love of his life, Fonda Lou Morrow. They married in 1962, and in 1965, Leo and Fonda moved with their children Leo III and Mary to New Jersey, settling in Linwood, because the FAA had transferred Leo to work at a new aviation research facility, NAFEC. The National Aviation Facilities Experimental Center, later renamed the FAA William J. Hughes Technical Center, is where he spent the majority of his career, as an electrical engineer and computer scientist, engaged in research and development related to air traffic control and advanced radar equipment. The simplest way to explain it is that he designed hardware that kept planes from crashing into each other in the air, but it was a lot more complicated than that. His work has been extensively published in technical journals, and he frequently traveled internationally to present his designs to foreign governments on behalf of our country. He retired from the FAA in 1996 and later worked as a federal contractor for Titan, Raytheon, Engility, and Regulus Group. He retired permanently in 2019 at the age of 82. Leo always said the most important thing about work is to find something you love to do, and he lived that concept to its fullest.

As impressive as his professional life was, his personal accomplishments were greater. Soon after marrying Leo, Fonda developed MS, by the time their youngest, Mary, was 5, Fonda lost mobility and could not care for herself. She became paraplegic and eventually bedbound and was cared for by Leo alone until her death in 1977. As time marched on, they had been apart decades longer than they were together, but Leo never remarried. He always said if it happens, it happens, but he was not looking. He would explain that he had found something that many people never do, a once in a lifetime love, and now, they are together again.

Leo was an amazing father who loved his children fiercely. He led by example and taught them to work hard, how to be strong and kind, honorable and loyal. He showed that challenging work is valuable and that genuine enjoyment comes from doing what you love. As adults, his children met countless individuals who would tell them what a great man their dad was, neither Leo nor Mary ever met someone who had an unkind word to say about their dad. He was a brilliant man who was a creator and innovator. When they were kids he made them digital clocks, FM radios, strobe lights, and fiber optic lamps for their bedrooms. When Atari released "Pong" in 1972, one of the first video games ever, well, he made them one of those too. Among the many gifts he gave them, he taught them how to think, and that no effort is too great for someone you love.

Leo was an artist, painting with acrylics, and drawing with charcoal. He was an accomplished bowler, and shared his talents as a certified coach with the American Junior Bowling Congress at Verona Lanes in the 1970's. He ran the Saturday morning junior bowlers league for many years, teaching countless kids how to bowl with skill and accuracy. He ran adult leagues as well, the "City League," first at Verona Lanes, and later at King Pin Lanes when the Tkacz family built that facility. Leo was also passionate about golf, picking up a club for the first time in his late 40's. At Mays Landing Country Club he proudly shot a hole-in-one on January 4, 1987, on the 15th hole. For many years, Leo served as secretary-treasurer for the Mays Landing Golf Association, and for the Apex Golf Club, making many cherished friends along the way. He loved to travel to play golf, and organized an annual trip to Myrtle Beach each fall, and played many rounds throughout the Caribbean on trips he would take with his daughter Mary and his golf buddies and their wives. In his final days, Mary told him there would be a long line in heaven waiting to play with him again, cherished friends Billy Smith, Paul Moore, Cecil Richards, Frank Jones, and others. Sadly, except for long time friend Frank Schiavo, who will miss him dearly, most of Leo's friends passed before him. He was an avid, lifelong fan of the Kansas City Chiefs and St Louis Cardinals. While not particularly popular in this region, he proudly sported his Chiefs fan gear at every opportunity.

Leo's dedication, whether to his work or his hobbies, to being a caregiver or to being a friend, was unmatched. His colleagues spoke highly of his integrity and diligence, while friends and family remember countless acts of kindness, both large and small, and the best, most genuine smile you ever saw. He gave freely of his time, talents, and resources, expecting nothing in return.

As we mourn his passing, we also celebrate an incredible life, beautifully lived, and his legacy lives on in the hearts of all who knew him, in the lessons he taught, and the kindness and generosity he spread.

Leo was predeceased by his wife, Fonda Lou; son, Leo III; and parents, Leo M. and Walburga; and brothers, Ernie and Charlie. He is survived by his daughter, Mary Canesi (Sonny); grandson, Luca Canesi; brothers, Bill (Linda) and Tom, Wapelhorst; sisters, Alice Schoenhofer, Mary Downing (Greg), and Annette Wapelhorst; brothers-in-law, Russell Hoover, Dave Hoover (Emy), and Butch Morrow (Judy); and many nieces, nephews and extended family in Kansas and Illinois.

His daughter is profoundly grateful to Lynda Adams, and all of the wonderful staff at Brandywine Living at Brandall Estates, under whose care he spent his final years. They worked tirelessly to ensure he was treated with great care, as an individual with respect and a sense of self-worth, even as his cognitive abilities declined. He became family to them, and his happiness was evidenced by that amazing smile that could still light up the room.

Services will be held Saturday, July 19, 2025, at Our Lady of Sorrows Roman Catholic Church in Linwood. Visitation begins at 10 a.m., mass at 11 a.m., with interment following at Holy Cross Cemetery in Mays Landing, where he will be reunited with Fonda.

Leo was a generous man. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital or the Wounded Warrior Project, two of his favorite organizations.

Jeffries and Keates Funeral Home

228 Infield Ave., Northfield, NJ 08225