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Jay C. Ducharme

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East Providence High School Brown University

Jay Ducharme Obituary

DUCHARME, JAY C., 26, of Beverly Road, Riverside, died Wednesday, January 25, 2006 at RI Hospital.

Born in Providence, the beloved son of Lawrence J. and Carole J. (McComb) Ducharme, he had been a resident of Riverside since 1992. Jay was currently employed as a security officer at Brown University. He was a member of the Rhode Island Army National Guard since 2000 and was a specialist with the 119th Military Police Company. He served in Bosnia, Iraq and Louisiana during Hurricane Katrina. Jay was presently enrolled in the Rhode Island Municipal Police Academy, was a graduate of East Providence High School, Class of 1997, and a member of the Riverside American Legion Post 10 in Riverside. He enjoyed computers, running, and exercising.

Besides his parents, he is survived by, an uncle, George E. Ducharme, of St. Augustine, FL; and his fiance, Nelia L. Sousa, of East Providence. Jay was the grandson of the late William H. and Florence G. (Darcy) McComb, of Providence, and George F. and Louise S. (Schofield) Ducharme, of Taunton, MA.

A memorial Mass of Christian Burial will be held Monday at 5 p.m. in St. Brendan Church, Turner Ave., Riverside, to which relatives and friends are invited. Private inurnment with military honors will be at the RI Veterans Cemetery, Exeter. Visiting hours are respectfully omitted. In lieu of flowers, contributions to New England Organ Bank, Ste. 202, Attn: Sean Fitzpatrick, 1 Gateway Center, Newton, MA 02458 will be appreciated. Arrangements with Thomas & Walter Quinn Funeral Home.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by The Providence Journal on Jan. 29, 2006.

Memories and Condolences
for Jay Ducharme

33 Entries

Steph

February 22, 2006

Nel, I know it's been a while, but I just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for your loss. Jay sounded like a very special guy who was lucky enough to have loved you for the time he was here. He was also lucky to have had you love him. He will forever be your guardian angel watching over you and keeping you safe.

Liz

February 6, 2006

Nelia, so sorry for losing your soul mate. I know how much you two loved each other. He always talked about how happy he was to be marrying you and looked foward to your lives together.

You will be in my prayers.

Sarah and Justin

February 6, 2006

Nel-

I would just like to start off by saying that I am very sorry for your loss. Jay was a GREAT guy and will definately be missed. When I think of Jay, I think of his smile and how his eyes would brighten up when he talked about you. I think of the great times we had at the Christmas Party, making dinner for the boys, and watching gory movies! Our Friday nights out were definately the highlight of my weekend! Jay loved you more than anything, and it showed. When he'd look at you, his whole face would light up. Very many people would be lucky to find what the two of you had. You were his #1, and nothing less.

Jay- although we didnt know you as long as some, you were a great friend and we'll miss you dearly.

(Mom) Carole Ducharme

February 4, 2006

First of all I want to thank everyone who has already written such beautiful words about Jay in his guest book and also to those who will. It means so much to both his father (Larry) and myself to know just how many people loved and cared about our son.

A letter to Jay from his Mom:

Dear Jay,

All during my pregnancy you were stubborn--you wanted to keep your head under my right breast and not be in the proper position. You did not want me to see you on the ultrasound but wanted to come early-which you did. The doctor told me that any baby with a heartbeat over 138 was a girl. Surprise!! you're heartbeat was 144 and you were a girl with 3 legs and came out weighing the same amount as I did and we also shared the same length. I'll never forget the surprise in your Nan's voice when she realized that we were both the same height and weight.

I loved you from the first moment that I laid eyes on you and I always will. Sometimes we didn't like each other but we always loved each other. You could make me happy and sad, make me laugh and make me mad. But, I always loved you and was extremely proud of all your accomplishments. I was always there for you and always tried to help you. At the end your brain didn't know that but your heart of hearts did.

Due to your death you "forced me to do things", as you liked to say, that I really didn't want to do. I expected you to bury me not the reverse.

I hope you approved of all the arrangements that were made including your birthday celebration with the song and funny cake that you rolled your eyes up every time you heard the song and saw the cake.

I tried to follow all your wishes and hope I did to your approval.

I will always carry the ifs around with me such as--If only I had been given the heads up; If only I had not been at the doctor's; If only you had talked to me or Dad.

I love you my beautiful, handsome and loving son and know that Nan and Paaaa are taking good care of you until the day we are all together again. You were my hero, my shining light. The light has gone out but, I'll stay in this world until God wants me to join you, Paaa and Nan in yours.

One last thing, spending time with Nelia during all this has showed me how much she loved you. In my heart she IS my daughter-in-law and I love her for having loved you.

Love always,

Your little Mommy

Joseph Stanelun

February 1, 2006

Nelia-

I am very saddened to hear of this tragedy. Despite never getting the opportunity to meet Jay, I know he is a great person just by the way you talked about him. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ana Frias

February 1, 2006

Nelia and your family

I never met Jay. I know how much he meant you. Words can express how deeply sorry for your loss.But i am a friend of your family.

Ana Frias

February 1, 2006

Nelia and your family

I never met Jay. I know how much he meant you. Words can express how deeply sorry for your loss.But i am a friend of your family.

Nelia Sousa

February 1, 2006

(2nd Try)

A big thanks to all of you and your kind words.

Jay, I miss you more then anything and will hold you in my heart forever.

Good night and may you finally be at peace with God.

Love you Sparky.

debbie clamor

February 1, 2006

My thoughts and prayers are with you all on your loss of such a young and a special person...I served in Iraq with him in the 115th and did not know him well but he was a hero in all he did over there with us. God has a special place for him I am sure..My deepest sympathy for a special person who gave alot for his country and served with pride...God bless you all...

Nelia Sousa

January 31, 2006

Thank you to all of you from the bottom of my heart for the kind words. It means more to me then you can possibly know.

To my Jay...I hope that you are finally at peace up in heaven with God. I will never forget the love you and I shared and I have lost not only a fiance but my best friend. I was also so proud of you and will continue to remember your courage and dignity as I move on with my life. I will love you always!

P.S. Happy Birthday

Roadhouse Rhodies

January 31, 2006

Nelia-

Our thoughts & prayers are with you and both your families at this tragic time. We can't imagine what you are going through, but know that Jay will always be watching over you. Our deepest sympathies.

Stephanie Esbensen

January 31, 2006

Dear Carole & Larry:

I was deeply saddened by the news of Jay's passing. Please know that you are both in my thoughts and I send my deepest sympathy and love to you both. Love, Steph, Rich and the Kids.

Joe Augenblick

January 31, 2006

Dear Larry & Carole:

Words are difficult at a time like this. Although I never met Jay, I know how much he meant to you both. When you vacationed with us last summer, I could tell that this son was the light in your life and he was an exceptional man. I am deeply, deeply sorry over your loss.

Your friend, Joe

Gary & Stacy DuBois

January 30, 2006

May the Lord bless you and keep you and shine His face upon you and give you peace forever.Numbers 6:24-26 You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Michelle Levesque

January 30, 2006

To all of Jay's Family, my deepest sympathies go to you all. I got to work with and hang out with Jay a lot some time ago. He could always make me laugh! He will be missed! Please take care, and know that my thoughts are with you in this time of great sadness!

Joe Callanan

January 30, 2006

To Jay's family,

Words can not express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. I had the privilege and honor to serve with Jay both in Bosnia and Iraq. A true meaning of the words honor and selfless service. He will be missed, Jay may you be at peace with God...

CSM(Ret) Ray Funaro

January 30, 2006

Dear Carole & Larry: I remember waiting along with you for his return from Bosnia and Iraq.I remember the smile on his face the first time he got the boot, to him it meant he was accepted, he was one of my soldiers. I was and am still proud to have been his Bde. CSM. He was a gentle spirit who served with honor and dignity. This is a loss for all of us because Jay made one proud to know him.My heart aches for you both. You know the number, just call if you need me.

Ray

SGT. & Leslie Elderkin

January 30, 2006

Carole & Larry, We are all deeply saddened by your loss. Although we did not know Jay personally, we felt as though we did from being close to you and Larry in the Family Group. The FRG is always here for you if you need us, we are just a phone call away. We are all family here and we would do anything for you. May our hero rest in peace, and may you find comfort through this sad time and know that you are not alone.

Members of The Rhode Island Municipal Police Training Academy

January 29, 2006

We wish to express our deepest sympathies to the Ducharme Family in this time of sorrow. Though we only met Jay nine weeks ago, he has touched each and every one of our hearts in many ways. He was a recruit, a friend, and above all else, a brother who will be dearly missed. We will always keep him in our hearts and in our prayers. God bless.

Josh Sherring

January 29, 2006

Mr & Mrs Ducharme

My deepest condolences to you and your family. I knew Jay since middle school and although we weren't extremely close. I know what I did know of him was he was a really nice guy and a hero to our country with his participation in the military.

Jennifer Martins

January 29, 2006

Rest in Peace, Jay. My sincerest condolences to all of Jay's family and friends. Jay has touched many people's heart and lives. Jay has done a lot in this world, God has called him to have him as one of his angels. To help us on this earth.

Kathy Woodworth

January 29, 2006

Nelia,

I'm sorry for your loss. Know that Jay will always be with you. Even though he is not physically here, he will never leave your heart. Jason and I are here whenever you need us, for anything.

Kathy

Daniel Cardosa

January 29, 2006

"For you have said in your heart:

I will assend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation. on the farthest sides of the north;

I will ascend above the hieghts of the clouds; I will be like the Most High" Isaiah 14:13, 14:14.

I will miss Jay. I had the honor to serve with him in Bosnia and Iraq

Jeffrey Jencks

January 29, 2006

I just want the family of Jay to know that we are in prayer for you during this time of loss. The Prophet Isaiah speaks of a new world where there will be no suffering or pain. May the Eternal God give you comfort during your loss. May Jay experience the peace of God in eternity.

Chaplain (LTC) Jeffrey Jencks

43rd MP Brigade

Previous 118th Bn Chaplain (OIF 1)

Cy Cote

January 29, 2006

Mr. & Mrs. Ducharme,

I was with Jay overseas for a time. He always was a good soldier. May the Good Lord give you comfort and peace during this difficult time. I will keep him and you in my prayers.

Cy Cote, CSM retired

Allison Kerl

January 29, 2006

Nelia and Mr & Mrs Ducharme,

My thoughts are with you. Jay is going to be missed by more people than he can know.. I am here if you need me..

Sandy Asad

January 29, 2006

Mr. and Mrs. Ducharme,

Please accept my sincerist condolences. I am so shocked and so saddened by this loss. Jay was a wonderful, sincere and gentle man and will be so missed by everyone. If there is anything you ever need, please-please call us.

Richard Szydlo

January 29, 2006

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ducharme,

I am very sorry for your loss. I was privileged to have served as your son's team leader in Iraq. Jay was a bright and enthusiastic person who was always willing to do more than his share. His passing has left me with a great sorrow. You should know that your son was good and caring individual, and many will be impacted by his loss.

Paul Nadeau

January 29, 2006

Carole and Larry,

Words can't describe the sorrow I know you guys are feeling right now. I have known Jay since Mc Donalds in 1998 and have continued to stay gennerally in touch all these years. I was looking foward to standing in for his wedding to Nellia and was proud to know him. Although we did not serve in the same unit in the national Guard, I was proud of jay as an MP and he knew what it meant to sacrifice for his country as did I. He was and will always be a beloved friend to me who always would make me laugh from his funny jokes to the way we would goof off dancing at the club. I will miss him dearly, but I will remember all the fun times we shared and the love he had for his family and friends always putting them first.

I will miss you buddy......

Dean Andrade

January 29, 2006

ALSO SERVED WITH JAY IN BOSNIA AND IRAQ.HE WAS A GREAT GUY AND WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

SGT. John Vieira

January 29, 2006

Hello brother, sorry to see that you have left us, i know that you

are in better place now, won't for-

get the days in Iraq w/119th, Cum-

berland Farms, God Bless.

Your brother Sgt. Vieira.

Joy Manbeck

January 29, 2006

Aunt Carole,

I still can't beleive it. Jay really is one of our hero's. He's accomplished so much.He looks so handsome in that picture too. I can't beleive i've known him 26 years. Jay was always a beautiful soul...such a polite gentleman. I've sent a card that's longer, but i just wanted to send this note right away. You, larry and jay will always be in our hearts, and always have been. Love, Joy

Jason "Doc" Melino

January 29, 2006

His name was Jay and he was my friend. I served with Jay for two deployments. He was a good man and a good soldier. Even though I hadn't seen him since our return from Iraq, I know I will miss him always.

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