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Matthew Bender Obituary

Matthew Wallace Bender June 6, 1957 - October 27, 2007 On the morning of October 27, in the company of his loved ones, Matt passed away at his home in Roseville and rests now in peace after a long and admirable battle with brain cancer. Matt was born in San Francisco, raised in Pacifica, attending Terra Nova High School (75') and moved to the Sacramento area in the early 80's, residing the last seven years in Roseville. Growing up in Pacifica, Matt enjoyed motorcycle riding in the hills of Linda Mar and blazing the trails along San Pedro Creek. Matt was also an outstanding athlete, participating in football and track through his high school years. In 1982, Matt married his hometown sweetheart, Audrey. That same year, daughter, Nicole was born and the family relocated to the Sacramento area, eventually settling for nearly 14 years in the community of Lake of the Pines, located between Auburn and Grass Valley. In both the Bay Area and Sacramento, Matt worked various construction related jobs, eventually starting his own business. Subsequently, Matt retrained himself to gain an expertise in data networking, which he subsequently leveraged into a rewarding career as a data engineer for Wells Fargo. Such a career transition was not surprising to those who knew Matt, for he was one of the most versatile individuals around, capable of high achievement for just about anything he set his mind to- whether it be to build a home, manage a small business or troubleshoot and optimize a data network. Beyond the work versatility, Matt was a great role model on how to live life and treat others. As a father, son, brother, husband and friend, Matt conducted himself in such an admirable way that will always stand as our benchmark for excellence. He was so very well liked and admired as a person, and was always willing to help others, either through his own blood, sweat and tears or as an anonymous donor to a worthy cause. Matt found great enjoyment in life sharing time with family and friends and supporting various community organizations. He was able to combine these desires in the Lake of the Pines community as a longtime coach of girl's youth softball and as a past president of the Lake of the Pines Water Ski Club. He was also an active volunteer and supporter of the Bear River High School athletic programs. For his own personal recreation, in addition to water skiing and playing on a Baseball team, Matt was also an avid mountain biker and he found great enjoyment snorkeling and scuba diving in the waters of Hawaii and Costa Rica. Perhaps his favorite past time though, was tripping on his Harley, most often with Audrey in tow and taking in the sights of the California coast or the mountains of Yosemite and Oregon. Matt was such a wonderful person and we will miss him greatly. He taught us all how to live, and his legacy and memories will be with us forever. Matt is survived by his beloved wife Audrey; his daughter Nicole Bender-Boone (Robert); grandsons, Cameron and Rory; his mother Carole Aymeric (Gilbert); brothers, William and Timothy; brothers-in-law, Gilbert, Philip and Nicholas; 7 step-siblings, 3 nephews, 5 nieces and many, many loving friends and relatives. A Memorial Service will be held on Saturday, November 3 at 11:00 am at St. Clare Catholic Church, 1950 Junction Blvd., Roseville, CA 95747 (916) 772-4717. Memorial donations can be made to the National Brain Tumor Foundation, www.braintumor.org or the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society through their Team in Training site, http://www. active. com/ donate/tntsvmb/shaunabender. God Bless

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Published by San Francisco Chronicle on Nov. 1, 2007.

Memories and Condolences
for Matthew Bender

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Lori Lutz-Ornellas

December 2, 2007

Matt appeared in our home last night. He looked stunning, young, handsome, and content. His presence was comfortable. As i awoke this a.m. I related what i saw to my husband, we held each other and smiled with Joy. Audrey & Nicole, you both will be forever protected, guided in so many beauitful ways.
Even when you do not see beauty, know that beauty is there. Your man is there makin sure its all good! Be kind to your mind, and know that memories will last a lifetime. You did real good gang, all of you: wife, daughter, brothers, mom, dad, cousins, friends, admirers. Matt rocked, he was non judgemental, very humble, and yes, very handsome! Thank you for your presence, and may we all feel your spirit surround us. You remain in our hearts forever.
Oh yeah, and Jeff smiles for your excistence. Peace Out...

Susan Hrvatin Henning

November 27, 2007

I went to grade school and high school with Matt in Pacifica. Matt was a very sweet, kind and friendly guy. He was always nice to everyone. He was an incredible athlete and he had the most excellent freckles I have ever seen. God Bless you Matthew, your friend, Susan Hrvatin Henning.

2006 NBTF Walk: Bill, Matt, Audrey, Cameron & Nick

November 26, 2007

Brad Weber

November 10, 2007

I had the pleasure of working with Matt for a number of years at Cassie Hill. He always had a smile on his face and was always willing to lend a helping hand.
Peace be with you Matt, my friend.

Michael Petersen

November 8, 2007

I might have met Matt, but I am not sure. I had worked with him only briefly at his time Wells. It sounds like he will be deeply missed by all that knew him. I wish I could have shared some time with you Matt, it would have been a good time I am sure. Ride on Buddy with the Sun always at your back.

Kathleen Ito

November 5, 2007

I never met Matt ---- my loss ---- but I did work with him on a few projects over the years at Wells Fargo, and I enjoyed him. Eternal rest, Matt!

Yosmite 2005

Dean & Kristen Hallgren

November 4, 2007

Matthew~ even though Dean and I don't have many stories we have great memories! With Dean starting way back to Pop Warner Football and me since High School. You were one of the hottest and most admired guys in High School and forever the most admired guy! You were in our wedding and we even have a son named very similiar to yours (Matthew William) We shared great times at Wally World and some of the greatest memories at Whiskey Town! We enjoyed ski trips and one of the best harley rides ever! It is incredible that Audrey became a great friend and now Nicole and our children have also developed a kindred friendship. Thanks for being "our" best friend and showing us how to live and how to die in dignity. Watch over us until we are reunited again! We Love You!

Michael Vasi

November 4, 2007

Matt and I go back about 10 years now. We met when he managed QA retail at the Roseville Data center and we frequently interacted when issues would arise. I knew from the early beginnings of our friendship he was special in so many ways. Character comes to mind here, because he was a person of character; noble, honorable, honest to a fault, never petty or peevish, but the very best of the human family. These qualities really stood out in him and it drew others to him. He never kept his associates at arms length but was willing to widen out in his affection for them. He was a wonderful role model to imitate.
Even though I am saddened by his passing, I will still celebrate the kind of person he was and the impression he made on others and me. That alone brings joy because his memory will stay with me always. The Apostle Paul once said, “that you may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope.” (1Thess 4:13)

Audrey and Matt at Nicole's wedding

November 3, 2007

Matt and Nicole at Nicole's wedding

November 3, 2007

Cameron(one of his two beautiful Grandsons)

November 3, 2007

Matt and Audrey 2006

November 2, 2007

Johnny Nava

November 2, 2007

To the Bender family, My prayers and condolense to you all.

Johnny Nava
Pacifica

Glenn Eiselin

November 2, 2007

I have worked with Matt for many years in the Network Software Group. I too, loved to hear his Harley stories and snorling trips he shared with family. Matt and I would talk after hours , work related and some not. If it wasn't for Matt, I would have never completed a motorcyle driving course he highly recommended me to take. I will be missing our conversation about work and life, and what to have for supper. After all my conversations with Matt, he would always end it by saying,' talk to you later Buddy'.. I drove 1200 miles to pay my respects to our Matt from AZ. We, will truly miss our Matt ..

Mihele Tobin-Bush

November 2, 2007

I am proud to say I knew Matt growing up not only as My Step Brother but also under the same roof in Linda Mar!!! Luckily for Him, I never had to babysit Him!!!LOL!!! He grew into one incredible sensitive Man and always wished my Son had that type of role model!!! You are now with our Dad, Uncle Tom, Grandma, Grandpas and all that went home before You!!! The memories of You will always stay in my heart and I will keep them alive forever!!! I Love You Matt and I wish the strength to cope with this huge lose to all you left on this planet!!! Shel (Michele Tobin-Bush)

Cindy Bender

November 2, 2007

Matt,

I speak for all of us (Danial Robert Bender and Thomas Wallace Bender) whom wished they would have spent more time with you as an adult. You and your Brothers are the best Cousins we ever had. Growing up as children was so much fun. Our Fathers would take us to all the Bay Area Parks and on Sunday outings. More currently talking with Matt over the phone was a pleasure, however heart breaking to hear that you have gone. Well we are all family. And Family is Forever! Forever you will be in my heart. One for all and all for one. Matt God Bless you and your Dear Family

Doreen Gutierrez Pinelli

November 2, 2007

To Audrey and family, Bill and Tim. I was so sad and sorry to hear of Matt's passing. He was a genuine great guy. He was always so gracious and nice to me. Whoever wrote the obituary in the Chronicle captured him so well. I grew up with Matt in Pacifica.We went to Linda Mar School and Terra Nova together.He and I where elected boy and girl athletes of the year at LMS! We always used to laugh about that. His dad Bob also got a big kick out of that. Matt lived with his dad and step family (The Tobins) next door to me on Rio Vista drive for a short period of time. It wasn't an easy time for any of our families back then, but we all seemed to manage, and manage Matt did! Soon after, he met you Audrey. I knew a great gal would someday snatch him up! You then had a beautiful daughter, Nicole. He was extremely proud of his family. I teased him at the last class reunion for being a grandfather. He laughed, but you could see it in him that he couldn't be more happy or proud. I will always have fond memories of Matt. I know firsthand the pain you are feeling in your loss, being through it myself. My oldest brother Bobby also passed at an early age of a similar affliction. It isn't easy, but somehow going through this makes us better people. My heart goes out to all the Benders. Matt, say hi to Gladys for me, OK. Rest in Peace.

David Spear

November 2, 2007

I just had lunch with Matt 3 weeks ago. We had a great time and laughed about the time we played golf at Sun City and Matt sliced one into this guy's kitchen window. We both heard the crash and sure enough, 30 seconds later, this man comes out to the cart path with a very large set of binoculars. He waited for us to finish. I was up next and I'm standing there (laughing) with Matt (still laughing) and this guy with the huge binoculars (not laughing), watching me getting ready to tee off… No pressure! I remember it was like one of those movies when the person in the foreground stays still but the back ground stretches way back and gets real long and thin. These houses were like 6 feet from the edge of the fairway. No room for error. Luckily I hit the ball straight. We jumped into the cart and headed down the path. As we were approaching this guy's house we notice that there are about 100 golf ball sized holes in the stucco on the side of his house. I remember we were laughing about the fact that this guy would never have a lack for something to do on a Saturday afternoon. He could always spend it plugging up the holes. The range official showed up at the guy's house at the same time we did. It turned out that Matt and the guy with the recently broken kitchen window had the same insurance agent. They exchanged information and we were off to finish the back nine. Matt handled that little incident the same way he handled every challenge in his life. With Strength, Courage, Dignity, Intelligence, Wisdom, Respect and a sense of Humor. All of the traits that make a real man a hero. That is why he is so highly respected by all who have encountered him during their travels. I will miss him, but I thank God I have that last lunch and all of the laughs we had to remember him by. He is a good friend and I will think of him often and until we meet again.

Father, please hear my prayer
I pray in the name of my lord God and savior Jesus Christ
Father, please bless Matt and his family
that they will find peace through his passing
Father, please bless Matt and forgive him for all of his sins
Father please bless Matt and grant him eternal life in the kingdom of heaven
In Jesus name I pray
Amen
Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer

Kitty Walton

November 2, 2007

Dear Audrey and Nicole and all of Matt's family,

I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you. Take comfort in the honor of being close to such a wonderful man and helping him through his final days.

I worked with Matt for 8 years at Wells Fargo. He was both a co-worker and a boss over the years. And - he was terrific at both. It is so true that he was always so very positive and never got overwhelmed with the situation at hand. Matt was never in a "bad" mood.

Like Jim Jobes wrote above, I too want to emulate Matt's positive attitude and easy manner. He also had such a joy for life and I loved hearing him talk about his family, diving, water skiing, riding his Harley and all the great fun he would have.

I miss Matt and I'm so sorry that his vibrant and positive life was cut short.

November 1, 2007

Matt's 50th Birthday Celebration

November 1, 2007

Matt's 50th Birthday Celebration

November 1, 2007

Matts 50th Birthday Celebration

Stephanie Soli

November 1, 2007

I will forever embrace my memories with you and carry you in my heart forever. I am blessed to have know you. Until we meet again...
T&S

Larry Newman

November 1, 2007

Matt I will alway miss you we grew up together and when I went into the army you were alway there when I came home after the service we became room mates @ sleeply hollow inn then you were my best man in my wedding I well NEVER forget you LOVE ALWAY Big LAR See YA

udy Marcus

November 1, 2007

Audrey & Family: I am a cousin of Matt's 3xs removed. I knew Matt when he was a little boy growing up in Pacifica. He's named after my Uncle Wally and his dad was my first cousin. I am so proud to have Matt as a cousin even though I never really knew him. I pray for you and Matt's family that, in joy, you had a good husband & father. He isn't hurting any more and by his courage he has shown you strength beyond imagination and love undescribed. He is with you always within your heart. Love Judy (Hopkins) Marcus

Stan & Erica Chin

November 1, 2007

Your Family is in our thoughts and prayers.

Gerry Roliz

November 1, 2007

May God's Love be with the Bender family,specially during these times of sorrow, a Great friend, and co-worker, he will be missed.

Patti Oliveira

November 1, 2007

Although we didn't know Matt for that many years, the short time we got to know him and be at different family functions we were lucky to have been a part of his life. He was such a gentle man and always wore a smile. our deepest sympathy to all the family. Patti, Jamie & Ricky Oliveira

November 1, 2007

Audrey

David Spear

November 1, 2007

I just had lunch with Matt 3 weeks ago. We had a great time and laughed about the time we played golf at Sun City and Matt sliced one into this guy's kitchen window. We both heard the crash and sure enough, 30 seconds later, this man comes out to the cart path with a very large set of binoculars. He waited for us to finish. I was up next and I'm standing there (laughing) with Matt (still laughing) and this guy with the huge binoculars (not laughing), watching me getting ready to tee off… No pressure! I remember it was like one of those movies when the person in the foreground stays still but the back ground stretches way back and gets real long and thin. These houses were like 6 feet from the edge of the fairway. No room for error. Luckily I hit the ball straight. We jumped into the cart and headed down the path. As we were approaching this guy's house we notice that there are about 100 golf ball sized holes in the stucco on the side of his house and his wife was on her knees working in a small garden with a helmet on. I remember we were laughing about the fact that this guy would never have a lack for something to do on a Saturday afternoon. He could always spend it plugging up the holes. The range official showed up at the guy's house at the same time we did (I wonder who called him?). It turned out that Matt and the guy with the recently broken kitchen window had the same insurance agent. They exchanged information and we were off to finish the back nine. Matt handled that little incident the same way he handled every challenge in his life. With Strength, Courage, Dignity, Intelligence, Wisdom, Respect and a sense of Humor. All of the traits that make a real man a hero. That is why he is so highly respected by all who have encountered him during their travels. I will miss him, but I thank God I have that last lunch and all of the laughs we had to remember him by. He is a good friend and I will think of him often and until we meet again.

Father, please hear my prayer
I pray in the name of my lord God and savior Jesus Christ
Father, please bless Matt and his family
that they will find peace through his passing
Father, please bless Matt and forgive him for all of his sins
Father, please bless Matt and grant him eternal life in the kingdom of heaven
In Jesus name I pray
Amen
Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer

Jan Murray

November 1, 2007

Audrey and Family,

I met you and Matt at Tim and Steph's house in San Mateo for the Cinco de Mayo celebration. It was a pleasure meeting Matt and I could tell at that time the love that surrounded him. My prayers go out to you Audrey and your family and a special prayer for Tim and Steph.
I know how much they love him.
I can also tell the strength your family has for one another. May your memories bring you comfort.

Ben Nava

November 1, 2007

I knew Matt through elementry and our high school years he was a great guy and always had a "cool" demeaner about himself,He was always the 1st pick when it came to pick me up football games at linda marschool or Terra nova,I will always rememember going to "Days on the Green" and Winterland to see concerts with his stepbrother Mike Tobin and Matt!I have nothing but the warmest and great thoughts about Matt Bender The athlete(Matt could Run!)and friend!God Bless you Matt and your family it was sincere privledge to have known you!Peace to your family and dear friends Ben Nava

Lisa Froling

November 1, 2007

Audrey and Nicole---you are in our thoughts and prayers. Matt will be missed by many. He was a lucky man to have you two crazy girls in his life. No wonder he always had a smile on his face!! He loved you both very much!
Lisa and Gregg Froling

Tony Bourque

November 1, 2007

I had the opportunity to work with Matt on and off over the years at Wells. I was always pleased when I saw him added to a project team I was on. He was a great person to work with, always a smile and a great attitude. We will miss him.

Daud Khan

November 1, 2007

I am sorry for your loss. Matt and his family lived 3 doors up from me in Pacifica. I met them when my family moved there in 1965. We played together for years as children. It sounds from the other entries that he turned out to be as good a person as an adult as he was as a kid. He will be missed by all those who knew him, those who knew him recently and those of us who knew him from years ago.

Linda Peterson

November 1, 2007

My deepest symphonies go out to the entire Bender family. Matt was such a kind and gentle individual, he will truly be missed by everyone; may God bless your entire family in this time of sorrow. I have a poem I would like to share, and I hope it will bring you a little comfort.

When I must leave you for a little while please do not grieve, shed tears wild, or hang your sorrow to
you through the years.
But start out bravely with a gallant smile;
And for my sake and in my name
live on and do all things the same;
Feed not your loneliness on empty days,but fill each waking hour in useful ways
Reach out your hand in comfort and cheer, and I in turn will comfort you and hold you near; and never be
afraid to die, for I am waiting for you in the sky!

Patty Espinoza

November 1, 2007

It's obvious how great of a person Matt was from reading these entries as well as from my own personal work experience with Matt. We worked on some challenging projects and I never saw Matt lose his temper. He was always most helpful and did it with a smile in his voice. My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family, I can only imagine how much he will be missed. He was a wonderful person.

Casey Bender

November 1, 2007

I love you and miss you so much. You ment the world me and to our family, things wont be the same without you. You always had such a great great presences and we'll never forget it. I love you. RIP

Florida O'Brien

November 1, 2007

Audrey, with our deepest sympathy to your family. I went to same school with Matt and graduated the same year. I am Eddie Pulanco's sister. I also live in Roseville, 1428 Lorimer Way. I would like to hear from you Audrey to hear how your family (parents) are doing. With our love and prayer.

Ross Stewart

November 1, 2007

We were on the High School football team together more then thirty years ago. Then after the Navy, Matt helped me to get my first real job here in Sacramento. We worked together as partners for more than seven years. I cannot express enough how his live by example was the epitome of integrity and how much, even to this day, I value his influence. He was a tremendous role model. I will never forget Matt. (Terra Nova Class of '75)

Sandra Johnson

November 1, 2007

Family...
In the quiet moment when hurt is hard to bear. May love become your shelter and may the beauty of precious memories be your comfort. Know that you're held in gentle thoughts and prayers.

Jason Krogh

November 1, 2007

Audrey and Family:

My heart sunk when I heard the news. Our thoughts, wishes and prayers are with you all as you walk through this very difficult time. Matt was the best neighbor and friend a man could ever ask for. I will always miss listening to the 49er games with him on Sunday's as we talked about life. May peace be with you all.

John Law

November 1, 2007

The first thing I remembered about Matt yesterday when I heard the news, was the smile I saw on his face the day he picked up the Harley. A smile is the best way to remember someone. Rest easy my friend.

Judy Sullivan

November 1, 2007

Dear Carole and Gil and Matt's immediate family,
I'm so very sorry to hear of Matt's passing.. although I never got to know him, after reading all of his wonderful achievements in his short life, you should all be very proud of him and know you will miss him terribly....

Love, cousin Judy

Troy Alvarez

November 1, 2007

I met Matt through Wells Fargo and always enjoyed seeing and talking to him whenver our paths crossed. His positive attitude and warm smile always made my day brighter. We enjoyed talking about water skiing and boats (a past time we both enjoyed).

I pray that his family will seek and find peace and comfort in the Lord Jesus Christ through this difficult time. Lean on Him and Him alone in your time of need.

Matt will surely be missed.

Delores Stevens

November 1, 2007

Matt was a great person to work with and always had a smile. May your memories offer you peace at this time.

Sheila Higdon

November 1, 2007

I worked with Matt over the years at various Wells Fargo locations; and the thing I remember most about him was his infectious smile. He made me laugh...on days I didn't think it was possible. I will miss him......God bless his family with peace and comfort.

Jeff Dodge

November 1, 2007

Matt, I'll always remember you as a friend to all. I don't think I ever heard you utter a negative word. I'm sorry to see you go.

To Matt's family and closest friends, you're very privileged to have been so close to Matt. I know you'll have no trouble relishing your many fond memories of him. For now, please accept my deepest sympathy for the pain you must be feeling.

Roy Peacock

November 1, 2007

Audrey and Family --

We will be praying for you during this difficult time. Matt was a special man. I enjoyed seeing both of you at our 30 year reunion a couple of years ago. God bless you. Isaiah 43:1-5

John Donovan

November 1, 2007

As one of Matt's co-workers I know I speak for all who knew him when I say he will most certainly be missed. May his family rest in the knowledge that Matt's spirit is resting in everlasting peace.

Kevin McDill

November 1, 2007

In the years I worked with Matt, he was always the one person you could count on to have a smile on his face and to give a friendly "how's it going?". He will be greatly missed and my heart goes out to his family.

Jim Jobes

November 1, 2007

For me Matt will always be an inspiration. An example of how I want to be. I knew him through work at Wells Fargo and he always helped me to keep things in perspective with words of wisdom and actions to back them. Godbless him and his loved ones.

Amy Vahle

November 1, 2007

I had the pleasure to have worked with Matt over the last 5 years. He was always such a positive and warm person. He will be deeply missed. My sympathy and love goes to his family.

Trish Greene

November 1, 2007

I had the opportunity to get to know Matt when I worked at Cassie Hill back in 2001 - 2003. He was always smiling! We had some great times sitting around and talking in the Gold Rush room.

My prayers are with his family right now. He was a special guy.

Ellen Haught

November 1, 2007

Matt was one of the nicest people I knew at Wells Fargo. He was always willing to help others. My thoughts and prayers go to the family and friends.

Rick Rogers

November 1, 2007

Matt, you will be missed by so many, you have no idea of how many lives you touched and blessed with your contagious positive attitude. You are such an inspiration to me; I could only try but never reach the high standards you continually kept in your life and example to all of us. Enjoy your new life in paradise, I already miss you!!! Thank you so much for being like a brother to me.

Denise Claiborne

November 1, 2007

I have so many good memories working with Matt at Wells Fargo. We worked together in Roseville for many years. He always brought laughter and a positive attitude to work even under stressfull circumstances.
My blessings go out to his family. Matt will truly be missed.

Betty Kevan

November 1, 2007

Bless you all for the loving man who touched your life and will always be with you. I hope it comforts you to think:
"No Losses, Only Blessings"

take care and know my prayers, thoughts and help are always here for you.

Robert Conklin

November 1, 2007

I met Matt over 8 years ago when I started working at Wells. We worked a lot together in those first few years, and I have many great memories of him. He was such an easy going guy, and you coulnd't help but like him as I did. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends. He will be missed.

Craig Reynolds

November 1, 2007

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Virginia Knox, ATM Support Group

November 1, 2007

Although I didn't know Matt very well, he always greeted me in the hallways of Cassie Hill with a smile. He was a very sweet person.

May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.

Wayne Freeman

November 1, 2007

Please accept my deepest sympathies.

Carole Trew

November 1, 2007

We are so fortunate to have known Matt as a friend and co-worker. What an amazing person! Matt was once asked during a team meeting whom he would most like to have dinner with, his answer was Jesus. I am certain he is now enjoying that special dinner.

MaryAnn Stewart

November 1, 2007

I knew Matt as my brother, Ross Stewart's good friend when we all grew up in Pacifica. What I remember most is the warmth of his smile and the sparkle in his eyes. Please accept my sincere condolences to all of Matt's family and friends.
~MaryAnn Stewart
(Terra Nova Class of '73)

patricia Bryant

November 1, 2007

Forever in my heart sweet Matt.......your Aunty Patty

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