Sharon DeVrou

She came unannounced, uninvited, and unwelcomed. We had never met her. We did not know her. She didn't even tell us her name. But she did not need any pampering and was notably inconspicuous. So much so that, we did not even notice she had joined our family.But join she did. It would not be long before she revealed her true character. We soon learned that she was greedy, demanding, controlling, uncompromising, and unrelenting, brutal, and hateful. She would not leave until she had taken everything. Or so she thought. We initially noted her presence in October 2010 while celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in Italy. The fact that someone would insert themselves into a cherished, personal anniversary speaks volumes as to their selfishness and lack of concern for anyone but themselves. But true to her modus operandi, it was subtle and almost imperceptible. But Sharon did notice the slight twinge in her right forearm when she tossed the jacket in the back seat. More notable was the numbness in her right hand. The numbness did not subside in the ensuing months. Sharon sought relief via her chiropractor, massage therapy, and exercise. Although these activities provided temporary respite, the symptoms worsened. Her right arm became weaker and right hand less functional. Alas, it seemed the neck injury suffered more than a decade earlier would need to be fixed via surgery. So in May 2012 Sharon went to see a Neuro Surgeon about possibly replacing the damaged disc in her neck. After just a few minutes of physical examination the neuro surgeon said he did not think the problem was structural. He would order X-rays and an MRI to confirm this diagnosis. He believed the problem to be neurological. Perhaps it is Multiple Sclerosis [MS], Parkinson's disease, Muscular Dystrophy, or Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis [ALS]. Sharon confidently said, "I do not have ALS." He recommended we set up an appointment with a neurologist while waiting for results from the X-ray/MRI. Within two weeks it was confirmed the problem was not structural. Although the neck was misaligned from the previous injury, the discs and spinal cord channel were healthy and functional. During the same visit we met with the neurologist who ordered a battery of tests to be run, but no prognosis. We returned to the neurologist on June 1st to complete the last test and hear the diagnosis. The nerve conduction test [NCT] is basically measuring nerve response while applying a mild form of electrocution. It is very painful. The neurologist came in after the technician finished the NCT. He repeated the NCT. Then looked at Sharon and said you have ALS [Alice]. When a person has ALS the motor nerves die. When nerves die muscles no longer receive the electrical signal needed to make them move and they shrink and waste away [atrophy]. And that is how Alice introduced herself to Sharon and me. We later realized Alice probably moved in at least a year earlier. Even then Sharon had difficulty using aerosol cans and pump sprays. We would quickly learn that ALS stands for Always Losing Something. Ability to: write, drive, walk; feed, wash, and bathe oneself, speak, and to breath without mechanical assistance. I lost my career and personal significance at work [a gift if work means too much!]. ALS also stands for Always Learning Something. We learned that the harder a person tried to fight Alice with exercise and overusing muscles the quicker Alice kills the nerves, the muscles atrophy, and function decreases. Since there are no truly effective medications to even halt ALS, we learned that living with Alice means learning new ways to compensate for lost natural abilities [physical and occupational therapy is crucial]. We learned to rely on friends and loved ones for simple, basic things of life. We learned what is true for everyone, but we cannot admit it to ourselves until forced to do so, controlling life is an illusion. All we can control is our response to life. Thus, we learned to be humble, resilient, hopeful, compassionate, faithful, patient, content, and at peace. Finally, and most importantly, ALS stands for Always Loving or being Loved by Someone. Strangers would open the door and announce that I, a man, was bringing Sharon into a ladies public restroom with genuine compassion. We learned to love and be compassionate to people. It would have been too easy to develop an attitude of, "what do you have to complain about? Try living with Alice." Instead GOD gave us a perspective that we all complain about trivial, inconsequential things and not getting our way [control]. We also realize that pain and suffering comes in many different forms. Would we have preferred to have Alzheimer's, brain cancer, or suffer from drug/alcohol addiction? Friends from work and church loved us by making us thousands of meals over a 4+ year period of time. People all over the world prayed faithfully for us. This most precious gift of love manifested itself in we never felt anxiety or sense of bewilderment after the initial announcement. Lastly, we were given the gift of seeing GOD love us daily. Alice does not take a day off. There are no days or weeks of remission. Once function is lost its lost forever. Thus, having a GOD who is actively caring and comforting us, lifting us up on wings of eagles, giving us the strength, hope, peace, and love for the day is crucial. Alice had a profound, life altering impact on Sharon's final years on earth. But despite Alice's best efforts, she does not define who Sharon was. Alice may have taken Sharon's physical life, she did not take everything, and nothing of worth and significance. Sharon was born on January 29th, 1945 in small farm house built by her father on the side of a rocky hill in Madison County, AR. As the fifth child she was the only one to live with all eight siblings. Although part of a rural farming family, she eschewed that life style in favor of more artistic endeavors. She taught herself how to draw and later to paint. She did not consider herself a creative artist, ergo, creating an artistic interpretation. She enjoyed and excelled at painting birds, animals, flowers, landscapes, anything she thought was beautiful and notable. She extended her artistic talents to creating homes that would rival anything you would see in Southern Living magazine. During the 70s she created, implemented and managed a young professional woman's department for Sanger Harris department store in downtown Dallas. Later she managed a full service gift store in Magnolia AR. Sharon retired when we moved to Orangeburg, SC where she returned to painting while managing our home with profound excellence. She also used this time to grow closer to Jesus through close fellowship with other Christian women. She continued these activities when we moved to Baton Rouge, LA. Except now she included painting gifts along with items that interested her. Apart from and more important than these "doings" was her desire to give to friends and family. She would spend countless hours on vacation looking for gifts to bring back to love ones. I remember vividly sitting in Montepulciano Italy, thinking, "I cannot believe we came all the way to Italy to shop. We could do that in Baton Rouge." But then I saw the light. She came out of a shop and began telling me that this man is the husband of the lady running the shop down the street. The young lady in the stationary shop leather binds the diaries, address books, journals she sells. Sharon connected with the locals in her own way, that frankly, was more intimate than my way of seeing and taking in everything. In the end, when we combined our ways we both were richer than we would have been on our own. Hence, an essence and blessing of marriage. Not either, or, but both. There are many notable things that occurred during the Alice period. But I need to highlight one particular triumph. Sharon was right handed. She lost the use of right hand before anything else. She taught herself to draw and paint left handed. Many of the paintings and drawings are simply awe-inspiring. Later when she could no longer hold anything between her thumb and forefinger, she taught herself how pick up and hold the pencil, brush between her middle and 3rd finger. Furthermore, she drew and painted with her palm facing up and the back of her hand towards the paper/canvas. As "lefty" too began to fail she could only do pencil drawings. Some of which I colored in for her. These drawings show simultaneously the loss of hand control, but also her underlying abilities. In 2016 Sharon told me she wished she had done more paintings sooner – she still had things to paint. A few months ago, when she was essentially bed ridden, and barely able to eat or talk, I ask Sharon what single thing she wishes she could have back. I expected her to say her painting. Instead she said she wished she could speak. I concur. We figured out a way to communicate. But she lost nearly all ability to converse with the people she loved. It hurt her, and me, more than all the other loses. So it was that Alice, the cowardly, selfish, unrelenting, mean-spirited thief came to steal Sharon's dignity, physical beauty and ultimately her life on earth. In that sense Alice is like many other diseases. But Alice failed to destroy Sharon. Instead Sharon triumphed over Alice by creating beauty that will endure long after Alice is a faint memory. On November 25, 2017, GOD decided Alice would no longer be allowed to torment Sharon and invited her to join Him in heaven where I trust a full studio of paints and topics awaits her along with a mansion that needs decorating. Thank you Jesus for giving me such a wonderful friend for so many years. She was a gift beyond my hopes or wishes. It was my honor and privilege to care for her. She clung to Your promise that Your grace IS sufficient for us. It was and is more than sufficient. I cling to it today as I miss her so much. May God be glorified! Jesus, I ask this one thing yet again, that for every nerve that died within Sharon you will enable an unsaved person to receive eternal life by accepting You as their Savior, AND that for every muscle that atrophied, that you will strengthen a believer to walk faithfully, obediently, and thankfully before and for you. Alice tried, but she could not separate us from His love. In the end Sharon and I are more than conquerors because Jesus loved and loves us. Amen. For you are great and do wondrous things; you alone are God. (Psalm 86:10) God did a marvelous thing when He brought Sharon into my life 35 years ago. God did a marvelous thing by choosing a friend, partner, best friend for me who I was not worthy of. God did a marvelous thing by giving us an incredible marriage of 32 years. God did a marvelous thing by setting Sharon free from the hatefulness of ALS and bringing her home to Himself. Thank you Jesus. Visitation will be held on Saturday, Dec. 9 at Grace Community Bible Church, 1000 Cockerham Road, Denham Springs, from 9:15 am until service at 10 am. The family request that if you have a painting by Sharon, please bring it to the visitation.