Thomas John "Tom" Haley

9/16/1947 - 6/29/2024

Amherst, Mass. - On June 29, 2024, shortly after midnight, Thomas John Haley passed away peacefully in his home, with his wife by his side. The night was still. In the days leading up to his passing, he was able to spend time with his loved ones in the comfort of his home, seeing his daughters and sons-in-law, watching his grandchildren playing outside in the pool. The 28th of June was the most brilliant day of summer thus far, the sun shining brightly in a cloudless, vivid blue sky. Tellingly, the family of wrens that had nested in the carved birdhouse that had been gifted to him chose that day to depart. The babies had grown. The nest was empty. The birds had moved on.

Tom was born in New London, Sept. 16, 1947. He spent his early years in Center Groton raised in the house his father built. He attended a one-room schoolhouse in Center Groton for his elementary years, then went to Fitch High School where he met his first group of lifelong friends. Upon completion of high school, he started at the University of Bridgeport in Connecticut. His college was cut short when he was called up by Uncle Sam, via lottery, to serve in the Vietnam War. He worked as a medic in an infantry division. He served his country faithfully though his health was later impacted by his time in the Army. After Tom returned home, he reunited with the love of his life, Madeleine Delisle, and they were married. He completed his undergraduate schooling at the University of Connecticut, then went on to law school at Western New England School of Law where he graduated in 1978, with his Juris Doctor (JD) degree.

He worked as a public defender, first in Meriden, then in the Montville Juvenile Court and finally at one of the New London offices where he worked for the rest of his career. During his time as a public defender in New London, he was promoted to head of the GA10 office, was honored as the "Gentleman attorney" in a New London Day newspaper article and received the Liberty Bell Award from the New London County Bar Association May 5, 2012. He retired from law in the fall of 2012. Tom was an active member of the American Legion. He was also involved in the Knights of Columbus and Sons of the American Revolution. More than the organizations he was involved with, Tom was known by his family and friends for his quiet intelligence and playful sense of humor. He was a great listener and easily approachable once people got to know him. He was also a jokester at heart and enjoyed playing pranks on his colleagues at work.

Tom indulged his artistic side with his paintings and through the water fountains he built. He was well-read and well-versed with computers. He was a movie buff and loved sharing his collection with people close to him. Tom traversed the United States twice, first while helping one of his daughters move to California - exploring the country together along the way; and the second time with his wife while visiting his other daughter in Alaska. He has been on multiple cruises, loved visiting Bermuda, has been inside the Arctic circle and could often be found sipping coffee while viewing the White Mountains of New Hampshire in the fall. He loved his family trips. Tom was a pillar of strength for his family. He always supported them in pursuing their dreams. He was a solid presence in the home and could be counted upon when times were tough. Tom was a doting Pepere to his grandchildren. Often he could be seen reading to his granddaughters or building forts with them, then hiding inside together and having earnest conversations. Tom was gentle in the quiet moments. Even the simple things - sipping coffee together on a bench, watching a chipmunk scampering by, holding his hand - left indelible, heartfelt memories with his family. His wit, too, did not go unnoticed.

Tom is predeceased by his mother Nannette Haley; his father Henry Haley; and his brother James Haley. He leaves behind his wife, Madeleine Haley, daughters Jeanne Evenson with husband Eric Evenson, and Mary Bellamy with husband Beau Bellamy. He has four beautiful grand-daughters: Ashley Evenson, Nora Bellamy, Meredith Bellamy and Leah Tusia. He will be missed by his sister Mary Ann Haley; and dear family friends, Meg and David Tusia.

Tom, you were a steadfast husband and we had 51 incredible years together. Dad, you were and are a beautiful soul. We will miss the many moments in your presence. Pepere, thank you for the grace and care you showed your granddaughters who love you very much. We will miss you. "And I want to walk with you on a cloudy day in fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high. So won't you try to come?" ("Come away with me," Norah Jones)

Tom's family would like to thank the Fisher House in Amherst, Mass., and the Douglass Funeral Home for their thoughtful care. He requested a simple burial. He did not want a lot of ceremony surrounding his passing. In lieu of a Wake or flowers for the family, please consider the following: Pay a good deed forward. Do something nice for someone else as Tom did throughout his life for the people around him. Take a moment to express your love to someone close to you. Time is fleeting. You never know how long you will have with someone before they move on.