Virginia Anne Pulaski

Newington - Virginia Anne (Lach) Pulaski passed away peacefully in her sleep on Wednesday, March 23, 2016.

She was to celebrate her 91st birthday in May of this year. She was the beloved wife for 53 years of Dr. John E. Pulaski, who predeceased her by 13 years. She will be remembered for her deep love of family, her love of music and of the outdoors. She grew up in Hartford close to the Mark Twain house and that of her childhood idol Katharine Hepburn. Her parents were Polish immigrants who celebrated a deep faith in God, hard work, love of learning, service to others and a love of country. She had one older brother Waldemar, who served a distinguished career in the Army Air Forces as a navigator on a B-17 Flying Fortress during World War II and then went on to practice law in Hartford.

During the war years, she attended Bulkeley High School and the Hartt School of Music in Hartford and excelled in music. She went on to attend the Juilliard School in New York City, where she studied piano and completed a bachelor's of fine arts in 1947. Her summers in high school and college were spent working as a camp counselor at Sebago Lake in Maine and, when home, making day trips to the Connecticut shore with friends and family in the back of pickup trucks, singing carols en route. She met Dr. John E. Pulaski, a physician, on a blind date in 1949 arranged by his brother and her cousin. They married in 1950.

She taught music and piano in the Rocky Hill school system for several years, but eventually left in order to focus on raising six children. She excelled at motherhood and parenting and instilled in each child a sense of their innate worth and goodness and their need to put their gifts and talents at the service of others, both in their immediate and extended family and that of the wider community. She loved the underdog and would often take on causes which favored those less fortunate and marginalized. As a young mother, she was enraged at the way farm workers harvesting grapes in California were being treated, and helped to arrange a boycott of grapes at local supermarkets on behalf of Cesar Chavez and the United Farm Workers. Cooking and preparing the evening meals was a favorite activity, both as a way to be rewarded for the day's accomplishments and a prelude to the evening activities of music practice and homework. One of her strict rules: no television was allowed during the week and only selective viewing, with the exception of sports on weekends.

Summers were spent on the Connecticut shore in Black Point; as her kids grew, they became engaged in work, camp activities and appreciating the beauty of the sea. As she aged, she never lost her love of a late afternoon swim in the extraordinary light and shadows of August, and she shared this joy with her children and grandchildren until this last year. Her husband John was an avid fisherman and clammer, and most summer weekend evenings were spent preparing delicious seafood meals. As she aged in wisdom and grace, she grew to cherish times spent with her 16 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren, especially at birthdays and holidays. A favorite activity at Easter was decorating eggs and then cracking them over a child's head on Easter day as a realization that Christ is risen. One especially important ritual was the Polish Christmas celebration of Oplatek. The entire extended family gathered before the Christmas Eve meal and broke bread with each other from the oldest to the youngest. Sharing unleavened communion wafers, pairs of siblings and relatives broke bread together and reviewed their relationship over the previous year and expressed their wishes for the other person in the coming year. The event was a way for Virginia and John to instill in their children and grandchildren an enduring attitude of intentional reflection and gratitude.

Stories told of grandma by her children and grandchildren were numerous. On a trip to Warsaw, Poland in the late 1970s with the Hartford County Medical Association, the group was invited to take drinks with their Polish counterparts at the Crocodile Bar, a famous haunt of members of the ruling communist party. An empty grand piano sat alone in the corner. Virginia, without any prompting, walked over to the piano and started to play the Minuet in G by Jan Paderewski, a rallying song for the Polish opposition. She was able to complete most of the piece before she was stopped by soldiers. She received an applause from the audience as she returned to her table.

A loving mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, she leaves six children, Dr. John Pulaski and his wife, Sharon, of Middlebury, Dr. Phillip Pulaski and his wife, Elizabeth Donnelly, of Belmont, Mass., Bonnie Parry and her husband, James, of Glastonbury, Stephen Pulaski of Mystic, Dr. Mary Pulaski and her husband, Dr. Joseph Ray, of Bedford, N.H., and Annie Pulaski of Bryn Mawr, Pa.; 16 grandchildren, Jay Pulaski and his wife, Jen, of San Jose, Calif., Cara Tyminski and her husband, Ethan, of Shelton, Lauren Hamm and her husband, Jason, of Manchester, Marya Pulaski of Cambridge, Mass., Tessa Pulaski of Washington, D.C., Natalya Pulaski of Belmont, Mass., Melissa Parry and her fiancé, Timothy Gall, of Chicago, Ill., Dr. Daniel Parry and his wife, Hanni, of San Francisco, Calif., Elizabeth Holden and her husband, Andrew, of West Hartford, Kathryn Parry of New York City, Marissa Pulaski of Boulder, Colo., Manny, Sarah and Anna Ray of Bedford, N.H., Damian and Aria Ferraro of Bryn Mawr, Pa.; and six great-grandchildren, Logan and Lucas Pulaski, McKenna Valenzuela, Parry Holden and Hazel Parry and Noah Tyminski. She also leaves many nieces and nephews.

Her family would like to express its deepest gratitude to all of her caregivers, especially the "Golden Girls", Rose, Krystyna and Luda.

She was predeceased by her brother, Judge Waldemar Lach; and her daughter-in-law, Dana DiBiasi.

Relatives and friends are invited to call from 9 to 11 a.m. Monday, March 28, at the Newington Memorial Funeral Home, 20 Bonair Ave., Newington, followed by a Mass of Christian Burial at 11:30 a.m. at the Church of the Incarnation, 544 Prospect St., Wethersfield. She will be laid to rest beside her husband in Cedar Hill Cemetery, Hartford.

Memorial donations may be made to the Virginia Pulaski Music Scholarship Fund, c/o University of Hartford, 200 Bloomfield Ave., West Hartford, CT 06117.

To share a memory with her family, please visit us at www.newingtonmemorial.com.