Joan Gerson Flam

1934 - 2018

Joan Gerson Flam

Palm Desert - Joan Gerson Flam, of Palm Desert, CA, died peacefully at home Sunday morning, March 25, 2018. She was 83. Joan was born on April 8, 1934 in Detroit, MI. She and her parents, "Punxy" (Isadore) Gerson and Honora Silbert, moved to Los Angeles when she was 9 years old to begin anew after suffering misfortune during the Depression. There, they owned a jewelry store until her father's death in 1951. Joan attended Van Nuys High School, and studied English literature as an undergraduate at UCLA, where she was a member of Sigma Delta Tau and editor of the UCLA Society Page. She was introduced to her future husband, Fred Flam, by her sorority sister, Roberta "Bobbie" Flam Finkel, Fred's first cousin. She and Fred married after a 6-week courtship in September of 1955 and together had two children, Paula and Nancy. They divorced in 1972. As a newly single mother of two teen girls, Joan went on to earn her law degree at the San Fernando Valley College of Law, entering the State Bar of California in 1977. Joan had a vibrant and rewarding career as a family law attorney, specializing in adoption law. In the late 1970s, she met her partner for life, Irving Shafer, with whom she lived for over 30 years until Irv's passing in 2011. Joan and Irv left the San Fernando Valley for the spaciousness of Palm Desert where they lived amongst a wide community of dear friends since 2003. An avid daily walker and mah-jongg player, Joan loved her weekly trips to the local casino to play the slots and share laughs with good friends. She loved to talk about politics, the stock market, and anything her two adored grandchildren, Miriam and Jonah, were interested in and up to. She had a loving and delightful relationship with Irv's granddaughter, Jennie Shafer Maguen and took great joy in her family, husband Barak, and two children, Edan and Ronen. She will be greatly missed. Joan is survived by cherished daughters, Paula Flam Siebert and Rabbi Nancy Flam, her adored sons-in-law, Gary Siebert, DVM and Neil Kudler, MD, and her precious grandchildren Miriam and Jonah Kudler-Flam. Funeral and burial services will be held in Northampton, MA, home to her daughter, Nancy, on Wednesday, March 26. A memorial service will be held in Palm Desert at a place and time to be announced. Memorial donations may be made in Joan's name to the Emily's List in support of women's rights to health, equity, and empowerment.