Search by Name

Add a Memory

Send Flowers

Make a Donation

Share Obituary

1949 - 2020

BORN

1949

DIED

2020

FUNERAL HOME

Bangs Funeral Home - Ithaca

209 W Green St.

Ithaca, New York

John Gabriel Obituary

John Gabriel

Ithaca

71, 07-Jul, Bangs Funeral Home.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Ithaca Journal from Jul. 7 to Jul. 8, 2020.

Memories and Condolences
for John Gabriel

Sponsored by The Ithaca Journal.

15 Entries

Robin Toma

November 6, 2022

John Gabriel was my brother. John was married to my sister April Toma for many years, and their son Graham is my nephew. Before April passed away earlier this year in 2022 of ovarian cancer, at my request she penned John's obituary. I made a few additions, and asked their longtime friend Ed Scheffler to help me fill in a few gaps that April noted. Although not all gaps were filled, in noticing that very little information had been posted about John's life, I decided to post it here, so that John could be appreciated for his life journey, and how he did good for so many, and how are lives were richer in quality because of our time with him.

So, what follows this paragraph is really still a draft of John Gabriel's life story. I invite those who know more about details of his good doings will post additions to it, to paint a more complete portrait of the human being that John was.

John Gabriel was born as John Timothy Hayes, March 9, 1949, in Lowell, Massachusetts (not far from Boston) to Paul Chester Hayes and Evelyn Hayes.

Growing up, he was drawn to the Arts, loving literature. Later in college at Salem State University, he found Theater and Classical music running his own Station on campus. In his hometown, the Greek restaurant he served at led him to discover Greece and the beach. He naturally gravitated to the city and eventually to fine dining.

After graduating with degree in hand, he headed to Southern California with a plan to attend graduate school; his application was accepted. While blissfully living at the beach in Orange County, at UC Irvine he met April Toma, a ballet dancer and John's wife of over 2 decades whom he described as "the love of his life". There, John also met his lifelong friend, Ed Sheffler. Their path took him to the world of fine dining, including managing the Dining Rooms of the Copley Plaza in Boston, where he wrote some restaurant reviews, and served in other fine restaurants such as The Cellar (in Fullerton, CA), the Redwood Room at The Clift Hotel, and The Four Seasons (both in San Francisco, CA), where he later celebrated his wedding with April. John then worked for several months with a Russian art dealer in London, England, the country of birth of his mother. In London, they also met their lifelong friends Graham and Bronwyn Hainey of Brisbane, Australia. John would spend time with them in Australia after retiring from De Paul many years later.

He found his way to academics at Los Angeles Unified School District teaching English to junior high school students in LA´s public schools, and then at a high school in Western Massachusetts. He completed his MA and Doctorate in English Education at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Later, John felt fortunate and happy to become an English professor at DePaul University in Chicago.

After several growing years, he brought his family to California State University, San Bernardino, near relatives in LA. But soon he felt called back to DePaul University in Chicago, where he finished his career. He was beloved by his many students and colleagues, including Dave Brown, with whom he stayed in Ithaca, NY, during his last months of life, after returning from Crete, Greece.

Prostate cancer hindered his retirement years, but didn´t keep him from returning to the beach. He still found his home there in Surfer's Paradise, Australia while visiting the Haineys, and finally Paleochora, Greece, living, as he preferred, simply and modestly in his last years. Among his many creative endeavors, he always wrote poetry and prose with Classical music, literature and gardening, his constants. Despite living abroad, John stayed engaged with US happenings, and stayed in touch with dear friends and family. He was always close to his sister Betty Rawnsley and her sons. With his dear friend Ed Scheffler, he first visited the island of Crete, Greece, in 2009, to which they would return many times during 10 years, visiting friends Barbra Richter and Elke Dahnert, among many others. After John and Ed spent a week or two in Paleochora, Crete, in 2014, it is where John returned to live before his last year returning to the US in late 2019.

After becoming too ill to return on his own from Paleochora to the U.S., his dear friend and colleague Jeff Kuznick flew to Greece to bring him back to the U.S. John lived with one of his best friends, Dave Brown, in Ithaca, where he resided until he passed away in hospice care on July 7, 2020.

He was survived by his former wife April Toma; his son Graham Shigechiyo Hayes Toma-Gabriel; and his older daughter Katherine, 2 grandsons, his sisters Elizabeth (Betty) Rawnsley, Jean Guthrie and Tina leacher, and brother Paul Hayes, plus his 4 nieces and 4 nephews; as well as his Toma brothers and sisters-in-law: Dana (and Debbie) Toma, Robin (and Debra) Toma, Heather T. (and BC) Carr, and Heidi (and Paul) Schmiedeke; and their children (3 nieces and 4 nephews).

Ryan McCarthy

October 30, 2020

John was my mentor and friend. He saw the good in people and the good in me. I miss him very much.

Barbara Richter-cuerten

September 16, 2020

He was my Jonny guitar in mirtos crete, greece, together with his friend Ed from california!
My empathy for both of them. Me sad! John was already suffering with his cancer....but we drank raki with Joy & laughing. There in mirtos, as well talking about his sickness.. John: " i am not afraid of dying..."
Barbara, mirtos, crete

Tim James

August 6, 2020

John, It was a pleasure sharing food and wine and thoughtful conversation first in Boston, then San Francisco, later Chicago and finally in Greece. Thankyou

Marta Katzer

July 19, 2020

It was an honour to have met John through our good friends Graham and Bronwyn Hainey. We spent beautiful days on the beach with him in Surfers Paradise and Broadbeach. He loved Australian beaches as much as we love them. We spent many hours talking when we visited him and also via email, WhatsApp etc John lived his life the way many people wished they could. We are so glad that he had such special times in Australia and Greece. We will miss John so much but we are so glad that he is without pain and in peace.

Graham Hainey

July 19, 2020

Graham Hainey

July 19, 2020

Graham Hainey

July 19, 2020

Graham Hainey

July 19, 2020

We met in London 1978; Travelled to see you and April in San Francisco 1981; Many wonderful letters back and forth until we met again in Vermont 1994 for our very first white Christmas; Then not again until your Gold Coast visit 2012; And then from 2014 you became our "neighbour" living here on and off five more times until 2019, overlooking your beloved Mighty South Pacific where you could swim everyday all year round! It was only the lure of Greece that would always drag you away!
There is something very special about a friendship that can last through both time and distance!
We'll miss you mate!
Gray & Bronny Hainey, Gold Coast, Australia.

Mark Rawnsley

July 14, 2020

Ay, Uncle John. Though your passing had been anticipated, it was still met with sorrow. Yet your dear memory and infectious laugh will live on. It was an honor to have spent the day with you back in February, sharing a meal, reminiscing about family, and discussing things philosophical. You taught me to play chess and introduced me to Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata", memories I will forever cherish! My ongoing prayer is that the God of all comfort may indeed bring comfort to the dear family that you leave. You will be missed and forever loved.

K M

July 13, 2020

Rest in peace, John. Our time that overlapped at DP was enriched by your presence. I'm glad you spent time in Greece. And I hope that the life hereafter brings you the equivalent of the good wine, poetry, and good company that you valued.

Roxanne Owens

July 9, 2020

John was my next door neighbor on the 3rd floor of the Schmitt Academic Center at DePaul. Every morning we'd share a hot beverage and solve the problems of the world. Or at least the problems of the 3rd floor of SAC. John was a gentle soul, a poet, a lover of music, and a searcher. He traveled the world and always took the time to enjoy the beauty around him. He is likely playing the harmonica, with a great glass of wine next to him, reading poetry to the angels. May he rest in peace.

Eva Patrikakou

July 9, 2020

Rest in peace, John. You traveled new lands, seas, people, and ideas, and you cast your prolonged gaze on the Mediterranean sea.

All my life one of my greatest desires has been to travel-to see and touch unknown countries, to swim in unknown seas, to circle the globe, observing new lands, seas, people, and ideas with insatiable appetite, to see everything for the first time and for the last time, casting a slow, prolonged glance, then to close my eyes and feel the riches deposit themselves inside me calmly or stormily according to their pleasure, until time passes them at last through its fine sieve, straining the quintessence out of all the joys and sorrows.

"Report to Greco" by Nikos Kazantzakis

L Z

July 8, 2020

I worked with John at DePaul University. He was a gentle, thoughtful teacher, beloved by many students. John was a maker of poetry with words and deeds. Rest easy. LBZ

Joan Lakebrink

July 8, 2020

John, you are a light for all/each of us. Be in peace and joy. May your family have solace as they grieve. Joan

Showing 1 - 15 of 15 results