Menu
Search by Name
Search by Name
FUNERAL HOME
575 South Snelling Avenue
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Eugene JAX Obituary
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Eugene JAX
Sponsored by St Paul Pioneer Press.
August 8, 2019
August 1, 2019
At his Visitation, there was a wonderful performance of "The Ashokan Farewell", on piano and flute, by two of Gene's Grandchildren, Ryan Johnston on piano, and Eric Larson on flute. It is a beautiful somber, pure piece of music and it fit the occasion perfectly.
November 14, 2018
Some notes on Remembering: these are what the Germans call pre-remarks. (This is in reference to the A Mourner's Prayer, in the post below:
re-mem-ber
Verb
1. Have in or be able to bring to one's mind an awareness of someone or something that one has seen, known, or experienced in the past
2. Do something that one has undertaken to do or that is necessary or advisable.
To remember- this definition, which comes from Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, makes it clear that remembrance is not only about bringing loved ones to mind, but calls us to do things to honor their memory, as well as the impact they have had upon us. To remember is to lift up all those things the deceased have taught us, so that their lives continue through our own hearts.
To remember is to embrace both the strengths and imperfections of those whom we have lost, by continuing to foster our own strengths, and improve upon our own shortcomings. And, to remember is to do what is necessary---to keep in mind, that what we do will have an impact on others' lives.
We remember them (A Mourner's Prayer) is perhaps one of the most famous readings found in the Jewish liturgy. Its thoughtful and insightful words have transcended beyond Jewish liturgy and have entered the hearts and minds of Jews and non-Jews. The words remind us how important the idea of remembrance is to our sacred traditions: our souls live on through not only those who loved us, but those whom we have loved, and those we love now.
Memory is a part of all humanity. In A Mourner's Prayer, we are told not to forget, we are challenged to remember, we are asked to reflect, and exhorted to improve every day and in every way.
November 7, 2018
Gene's Burial
The burial of the ashes at Oakland Cemetery was simple and solemn. The day was appropriately grey.
We gathered in a semi-circle around the site, and it was as Norita said, right beneath and next to the finely carved angel high on her pedestal. It was a perfect setting for Gene.
A soldier, in Dress Blues, played Taps to a very quiet crowd. Father Treacy recited The Mourner's prayer, We remember him.
The American flag was formally folded into the triangle and presented to Norita.
We said the traditional prayers, asked for eternal rest for this extraordinary man, and left him resting on the hillside.
November 3, 2018
THE MASS OF CHRISTIAN BURIAL for EUGENE JAX
Church of the Assumption
October 10, 2018
The Presider and Homilist was Fr. Paul Treacy, Pastor of the Assumption Church.
Shall We Gather at the River was the opening hymn.
The Readers were Jessica Larson Johnston and Emily Larson.
In Father Treacy's homily, he included the Call and Answer responsive, The Mourner's Prayer, We Remember Him:
The Mourner's Prayer
At the rising of the sun and its going down
We remember him.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter
We remember him.
At the opening of the buds and the rebirth of spring
We remember him
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer
We remember him.
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn
We remember him.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends
We remember him.
As long as we live, he too will live;
For he is now part of us,
As we remember him.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember him.
When we are lost and sick at heart
We remember him.
When we have joy and crave to share
We remember him.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make
We remember him.
When we have achievements that are based on his
We remember him.
As long as we live, he too will live;
For he is now a part of us,
As we remember him.
The prayers of the Faithful were led by Tom Hubler
The Gift Bearers were Amy Polski Larson and the Grandchildren
The Eucharistic Minister was Louverne Williams
.
The Eulogist was Ed Flahavan:
I would like to describe for you the Gene Jax that I experienced over the past fifty years
in the hope that it deepens your own appreciation of this remarkable man.
Gene and I first met in the mid-1960'sat St. Peter Claver Parish in St. Paul. He was a professional social worker assigned to the parish by Catholic Charities, I was the young assistant pastor. We clicked instantly.
He gave direct, professional assistance to troubled families in the parish. And he acted, in effect, as a community organizer of the priests working in Twin Cities poor parishes seeking more effective ways to serve. He helped us find ways to do that by working together.
From that experience, an official Archdiocesan agency that sought ways to change some of the conditions that keep people poor and powerless, was created, called the Urban Affairs Commission. It had significant success, and its offshoots prosper today in many forms. Gene was one of the many wonderful women and men who brought their talents to this noble effort empowering the poor people to create for themselves a better life for themselves and their families. He brought an exciting sizzle to this work.
During this time, Gene got hit by the work and writing of some Latin Amererican giants, one of whom was a Brazilian educator named Paulo Frieri. Frieri was a national leader in what is called Critical Pedagogy, admitting that traditional teaching, banking education, he called it, that offloads information into the student, who then later unloads it in exams; it does little to the desired education process. Critical to effective education is the admission that the student become the teacher-student and the teacher in reality becomes the student-teacher when lived experience is valued - and questioned: why are things this way? Who decides the outcomes? What if?
Gene, in absorbing all this, was so fired up that he taught classes around the Twin Cities on Frier's classic book, Pedagogy of the Oppressed. He became, in effect, Friere's local clone and voice.
In the early 1970's, Gene and I traveled to Central America together, to visit a friend of mine, who was teaching rural farmers to read and write, using Frier's methods in the rural countryside in Panama. The local Bishop, Marcos McGrath, had invited a team of Maryknoll Sisters (my grade school classmate, Marian Pahl), among them, to work with him in their literary effort. Panama's Dictator was so opposed to this work This was obviously dangerous work. The visit with Marian and her team, served to deepen Gene's convictions in a big way.
I just went off on this story because I think it illustrates the soul of Gene Jax. It was his deep conviction that all people, not just some, are God's children; that all of us, in this room, this church, are brothers and sisters to each otherand to everyone outside this church and beyond, that all of us have dignity, potential, worth not just the privileged, but also those at the margins of society, who are most neglected, ignored, left behind.
His personal convictions and passions were obvious to me early on. Megan and Gene, and their young children, Heather, Jeffrey and Daphne the whole family were regulars in the 60's and 70's at the many grape boycott marches, open housing rallies, and anti-Vietnam protests of that time. One day, at breakfast, planning the family day's schedule, one of the children, Heather, I'm guessing, doing what she had been taught to do, viz. speak your conviction, announced that she was done with all that activism. She wanted more time with her friends. Gene looked at Megan and asked, Where have we gone wrong?
In later years, St. Stephen's parish in Minneapolis, decided to see if it could do more for its overnight shelter guests, perhaps to create a union of the homeless, giving the guests a voice in their lives going forward. It was, of course, a bold idea, but Carlton College's Paul Wellstone, a friend of St. Stephen's, pushed the idea. After some growth pains, the idea took shape. It was called Alliance of the Streets (later Alliance Housing). It grew under its patient director, Herb Frey, who invited Gene Jax, then officially retired, but eager to be engaged. Gene conducted organized conversations with the street people on a regular basis at the Alliance as well as at Peace House, both in Minneapolis. Herb recently described Gene as the director of the chorus of the folks' from the street, a latter day chapter of the crazy and good news of a bunch of God's people.
It needs to be said that Gene was opinionated, sometimes exasperatingly so. His opinions sometimes began to look like papal decrees of old, so deep were his certain convictions, those convictions that I spoke of a moment ago: all of us are children of God, but the poor and powerless get left out of the decision-making of the powerful. He would be their voice and be heard. An example: Do you remember his erecting a wooden golden calf on the roof of the Chancery years ago, when the first Archbishops' Appeal Campaign promised scant recognition to the poor in its distribution of the allocations? It was significant that he was then an employee of Archdiocesan Catholic Charities? Gene walked his talk. He was fearless, while many called him imprudent - and worse.
Norita, the two of you had a long and very tender marriage. It was a pleasure to observe from the outside. You faced life's sorrows, like his onslaught of ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, with straightforward courage, faith as well as your infectious sense of humor. Your recent collection of poems tracking the effects of the disease on this lovely oak of a man is relevant today as we get ready to bury him. [Read Cemetery. from Crossing the Waters by Norita Dittberner Jax, Nordin Press, 2017, p. 66]:
Cemetery
On the Sunday before Memorial Day, we went to Oakland Cemetery where we have two graves. Next to our lot is the grae of my former student, William, who went down with Paul Wellstone's plane. Above our site is a finely carved angel high on her pedestal. The grounds in their summer glory were splendid. Why hadn't I noticed before that Oakland Cemetery is full of oak trees, the tree that has given me the most comfort? I heard once that the whole area of Saint Paul had once been a savannah of oaks, reduced now to smaller patches like Oakland Cemetery. It made me happy that Gene will be among the oaks and that I will join him there. We drove around and found the most direct entrance to our plot, so we won't get lost on the curving paths. Enter on Sycamore and take the 2nd right. On the way home, Gene told me he wanted to lie down on our spot, but thought it was too odd an idea and besides, he couldn't have gotten back up.
I learned a lot from Gene Jax, and I certainly am a better man for having known him. He kept a steady rudder to my boat and steered me into better winds. I suspect many of you can say the same. The young John Malone, then a Transitional Deacon assigned to an internship at Catholic Charities under Gene Jax shortly prior to his ordination to the priesthood, told me that Gene Jax had a profound impact on me and my idea of what a priest must be. Yes, he's sitting right behind me.
I'd like to close these remarks by saying that today we gather here in this church to pay honor to a man who, like Mary of Nazareth sang, has put down the mighty from their thrones and lifted up those who are downtrodden.
And holy is his name.
The Final Commendation was In Paradisum
The Recessional hymn was How Great Thou Art.
A Friend
October 16, 2018
Gene's Prayer Card:
On the front:
"The souls of the just are in the hand of God-in the sight of the unwise they seemed to die, but they are in peace"
Wisdom 1,2,3
And on the back:
John Wesley's Rule:
Do All the Good You Can,
By All the Means You Can,
In All the Ways You Can,
In All the Places You Can,
At All the Times You Can,
To All the People You Can,
As long as You Can.
A Friend
October 14, 2018
Gene's Jax's Visitation
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
Norita arranged his ashes in one of Gene's favorite covered vases, along with his reading glasses, and four of his most recent books (complete with bookmarks, since he was never reading only one book at a time):
The Habit of Being - The Letters of Flannery O'Connor
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
Saving Capitalism by Robert Reich
The Politics of Resentment by Katherine Cramer
There were so many large floral arrangements even a small tree.
And there was a short program: Eric Larson played the flute, and, accompanied by Ryan Johnston, they performed "Ashokan Farewell", one of Gene's favorites, from the Ken Burns Civil War Series. This music, created in the style of a Scottish lament, has been called haunting, mournful, hopeful and beautiful. It was perfectly chosen, flawlessly performed.
Next followed a Tribute from the three stepchilden (Eric Larson, Jessica Larson Johnston, and Emily Larson):
OUR GENE
There is a freedom and ease that can come with being a step family.
Gene didn't need to be our Dad. We didn't need to be his Kids. He had Kids, we had a Dad. This understanding freed us up to experience the unexpected, joyful, unconditional, honest, and playful love.
He brought his own style to our Family, and we soon learned there were new parenting moves. Let's say you were supposed to rake the yard, but kept putting it off. You might jump into the shower and find the rake in there. Forgot to take out the garbage? Said garbage would appear in your bedroom. More likely on your bed. The effort he put into punishment was far greater than our crime. It was brilliant.
We carry on this course of corrective action with our own kids. I pulled a Gene Jax today, we'll text to each other. And we know what it means: a funny trick on our kids, a savvy re-use of an item.
Our Gene was a bit of a mischief-maker, and he loved a great laugh:
The time he got us all up early, to send Eric on his first grown-up road trip to visit his friend in Wyoming: Gene orchestrated a family send-off that involved him performing Tai Chi. He asked Mom to tap dance.
The afternoon he picked up Emily from High School, in his crusty old car wearing a Santa suit, and ringing a hand bell out the car window. Horrifying.
The day he wrote a note to let Jessie out from school to fight a parking ticket in court. He had truly atrocious handwriting. The school was convinced it was forged. They wouldn't let her go.
Gene was an avid rural gastronomist, introducing us city folk to things such as creamed corn, riced potatoes, and whole, unpasteurized milk, from the Heibel Farm, cunningly disguised in a skim milk container.
He was an attentive listener, offering his opinions whether you asked for them or not, verbally sparring with anyone who was game. Age didn't matter. He was happy to engage our toddlers on the trappings of Capitalism.
Our Gene was incredibly generous. With us, and our spouses, and with our kids. He led with his heart.
When Gene married our Mom, he got four of us. He loved our Mother. He loved us. And we all loved him back. To us, he was Gene, Gigi, Gene-O, Grandpa, Mentor, Confidante, Sounding board, Truth Teller.
When asked by a friend, as he married our Mom, what he was going to do with these three extra kids, Gene responded, Help raise them.
He did. Thank you, Gene. We already miss you. So much.
-Eric, Jessica, Emily
And a Tribute from the Jax Children: Heather Jax, Jeffrey Jax, and Daphne Berry, read by Heather:
OUR FATHER, GENE JAX
Gene Jax was the best Dad ever Fact!
As the oldest of his three kids Heather, Jeffrey and Daphne, I am able to say with great authority. We had a childhood of great experiences and adventures. What other children can say that their Dad ran out of a tent in Yellowstone to save a child from a grizzly bear?
We drove to Mexico in a station wagon unbelted and no electronic equipment of any sort!!!
Bob's Cabins with the Olsons Diane's tomato soup cake was my favorite dessert;
We protested lots of things: Non-Union Grapes, For Peace, Against War: Dad loved a good protest;
Richland Center, Sheboygan, and Middleton to see The Family;
Camping, Canada to Kentucky we did it all:
Thanks, Dad!
Priot to getting the farm, we were an animal-crazy family. I give Dad all the credit for allowing just about anything into the house: Calico, Fluffy, Fritzi, Snooper, Mitzi, Snowy, Muffin (we were lacking in the creative naming of pets). Add the parrot, gerbils, rats, geckos, hamsters, chickens, and anything else we could entice into our home. We will still stop anywhere to pet or feed an animal. Dad was not as generous with the squirrels alas, they earned his displeasure. He did enjoy everything else.
Getting the Farm with the Scher's and the Barghini's was the best thing any kid could ever wish for. The Heibel's were also a huge bonus. Oh, the times we had!: ponies, horses, cows, carts, chickens, turkeys. Dad had us out collecting rocks from every stone pile everywhere for his stone house. We helped remove the bark from the logs for the roof- Laura Ingalls Wilder had nothing on us! The Martin's, Clear Lake, Theresa's Bar (formerly Jimmy's), the creek, the garden, the barns: It was all great.
The first thing anyone says when I tell them that we were Gene Jax's children, is, I love your Dad. That was a very common theme. People loved our Dad. He was really a great person. My siblings and I have always felt very lucky to have him as our Father. He had so much to give that he was always finding more people to care about, not only people, but causes and ideas. Anyone who even knew him slightly knew Gene as a man who had opinions. He was someone who really reached out and listened, and talked with those he met.
As a kid, one of my favorite activities with Dad was visiting. We did lots of visiting. I remember his laugh and how much he enjoyed being with people. Gene Jax was a strong advocate for us. He encouraged us- he had numerous ideas of things we could be interested in. He liked to visit and encourage others. He really knew how to reach out, to listen, befriend, love and care. He made a difference. He took action, he believed with conviction.
As his Children, we hope you all take a page out of his life: reach out to others, go visit, send a note, have strong beliefs, and act on them.
He taught us well and loved us deeply. Thank you for the gifts. We love you, Dad.
-Heather, Jeffrey, and Daphne
Norita read a letter from some of their dearest friends, the Scobies:
The letter from Jill and Dick Scobie:
Dear Norita,
It is difficult to express the sadness and the loss upon hearing about Gene's death. His very presence was always a blessing. He was one of the dearest, dearest friends of my entire life. His amazing and incandescent way of living a Christian life was inspiring. Dick and I learned about the Catholic left from him. We'd never even heard of the Catholic Worker or Dorothy Day, et al., until Gene came into our lives. But here's the wonderful thing: he was always so much fun, his mind was so alive. He was always reading new things and sharing ideas. He could be so funny, so pithy, never doctrinaire. Back at Fort Hood, there would be a dozen people crowded into the bedroom (no living room, way too expensive), drinking Boone's Farms and Kool Aid (not mixed, no), squished together lying on the bed and sitting scrunched up on the floor around the edges (Father Freud was right about lying down and free associating), spilling our life stories. He was a regular Joan of Arc at the stake when it came to not buying the seductions of materialism and capitalism. How we wished we could have lived around the corner from you. It was so lovely to see you together, especially during our last visit almost 2 years ago. The measure of grace that you both brought to the terribly difficult challenge of his ALS. Your book of poetry about that journey is precious beyond words. Our hearts go out to you and all your sons and daughters and the grandchildren.
Best, best love,
Jill
Larry Dittberner closed the evening by inviting us all to sing, with him, I'll fly Away, an old (1929) Gospel hymn. He explained it had been sung at other Dittberner Family Wakes. And there followed the Great Amen.
A Friend
October 13, 2018
Here is a loving and lovely message from a niece of Norita's:
On the card: "HIS LOVE MADE YOU HAPPY. May you always treasure those memories.
HIS LOVE GAVE YOU STRENGTH. May you trust it will still be there to get you through each day.
HIS LOVE IS YOURS FOREVER. May its lasting beauty comfort your heart today and always.
And her message:
Norita, I'm so sorry about Gene. My favorite memory will always be you and Gene dancing at your wedding reception, like on a cloud of air! You were so happy. May you take comfort in knowing that he is active, happy and in good company in Heaven.
Leah Wing
October 12, 2018
Sending my condolences to your family! Gene always asked the most thoughtful questions to the speakers at our Men's Club meetings. He had a great sense of humor and a great heart. He will be greatly missed.
Dorothy Scanlan
October 10, 2018
I just know that somewhere Gene and Janet Williams are sitting with their heads together talking earnestly about what all really went on at Peace House today.
Christopher Belleau
October 9, 2018
Big hugs to all my Jax family, especially my cousins Jeffrey, Daphne, and Heather, who are so very dear to me. And to all there children and to Norita and her children. Please know I am with you in spirit, and I grieve the loss of my uncle Gene, who was always so warm hearted and engaging. I have such colorful memories of Thanksgiving in St Paul, the farm, and other family gatherings. So sorry I cannot physically be there. ❤ Rest In Peace Uncle Gene.
October 9, 2018
''WELL DONE GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT''...R.I.P. GENE!!!!!...FR. MIKE ARMS, RETIRED, CROSSLAKE, MINN.
Vicky Michaels
October 8, 2018
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am a nurse who works with Heather, we adore her- she is a blessing to all around her. Our thoughts and prayers are with your entire family
Mollie Miller Ziebart
October 8, 2018
Sorry to hear about Genes passing. He was an amazing man and a great friend to my Dad. He held my Dad's hand and carried him along on the journey with Cancer and I will forever be grateful about that. My condolences to Boots and the kids and the others he touched. Bless you and take care of yourselves and each other.
Mary Ryan
October 8, 2018
I was so sorry to hear of your loss, Norita. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. When all settles down, perhaps we can lunch together.
Mary
Sue Caliguire
October 7, 2018
Heather and family,
Having been through the loss of my Dad I am so aware of the hurt and loss your going through. You and your family are in our prayers. When I saw the photo of your Dad it reflects what a kind soul he has. Reading about his life and what he stood for showed he was caring, kind and generous inside and out. You have carried on those qualities in your approach to helping and standing up for others . You are your fathers daughter! He had to be so proud of you
Jack and I are thinking of you. Sue
Showing 1 - 17 of 17 results
Make a Donation
in Eugene JAX's name
Please consider a donation as requested by the family.
Memorial Events
for Eugene JAX
Oct
9
Visitation
4:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
O'Halloran & Murphy Funeral and Cremation Services - St. Paul575 South Snelling Avenue, Saint Paul, MN 55116
Funeral services provided by:
O'Halloran & Murphy Funeral and Cremation Services - St. Paul575 South Snelling Avenue, Saint Paul, MN 55116
How to support Eugene's loved ones
Honor a beloved veteran with a special tribute of ‘Taps’ at the National WWI Memorial in Washington, D.C.
The nightly ceremony in Washington, D.C. will be dedicated in honor of your loved one on the day of your choosing.
Read more
Should I Send Sympathy Flowers?
What kind of arrangement is appropriate, where should you send it, and when should you send an alternative?
Read more
What Should I Write in a Sympathy Card?
We'll help you find the right words to comfort your family member or loved one during this difficult time.
Read moreResources to help you cope with loss
Estate Settlement Guide
If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.
Read more
Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast
Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.
Read more
The Five Stages of Grief
They're not a map to follow, but simply a description of what people commonly feel.
Read moreWays to honor Eugene JAX's life and legacy
Obituary Examples
You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
Read more
Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples
These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
Read more
How Do I Write a Eulogy?
Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
Read more
