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Paul Straley Obituary
Paul J. Straley, died peacefully in the arms of his loving family, September 11, 2009 at Magnolia Gardens Convalescent Hospital in Granada Hills, CA after a short illness. He was 67.
He was born April 30, 1942 in Chicago, IL, first child of Lucille and Joseph P. Straley and the oldest of 7 children. Paul attended Catholic elementary school in Chicago and later Fort Worth, TX where the Straley family moved in 1952. He went to Jesuit High School in Dallas, TX. A Dallas Times Herald newspaper article wrote this about Paul upon high school graduation in 1960: "P.J. Straley was President of the National Honor Society, assistant editor of the Jesuit Roundup Magazine, secretary of his sodality and member of the Math Club and Student Council. He received a four-year honor roll award and graduated second in class of 100."
After high school Paul entered the Jesuit Seminary in Grand Coteau, LA. He graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in English/Latin summa cum laude in 1966 from Spring Hill College, Mobile, AL. After leaving the seminary he completed his Master's Degree in English in 1967 from the University of Chicago. Honors: Woodrow Wilson Fellow and University of Chicago Fellow. He was fluent in Spanish, French, Italian, Latin, and Classical Greek. He also was studying German and Polish for his genealogy research. Paul loved to learn.
Paul traveled to Europe and Canada and lived in Mexico and Peru. Paul loved to take road trips in his Prius listening to books on tape like "Don Quixote." He would visit family from California to Illinois to Arizona to Texas.
Paul married Martha Alcazar in 1976. Later divorced in 1984, he raised his children in Simi Valley, CA. Paul enjoyed family celebrations with his daughters and their half-siblings George, David, Julie, Christopher, and ex-wife Martha. He also stayed in touch with his ex-wife's family and continued to support everyone he came in contact with to expand their minds through education and learning.
Paul's working career included teacher, editor, technical writer at Xircom Inc., and translator. For the past 5 years he lived in Poway, CA. At the onslaught of his illness, he had just completed training to be a Peer Advocate for Recovery Innovations California (RICA). They offer recovery-based services to adults with mental health and/or addiction challenges. He also did grant writing for local nonprofit groups and edited dissertations for PH.D. students. You could often find Paul in a bookstore caf reading and sipping coffee.
Other interests were Shape-Note singing, music from around the world, independent films, genealogy, hiking, and surfing the web. Paul had an incurable, chronic condition called mirthitis (infectious humor). He was always quick to find humor in all situations and used it as a way to cope with life's ups and downs.
We will miss your little jokes, Dad. His kindness, sincere soul, gentle heart, smile and soft voice will be missed.
Survived by his mother, Lucille Joanne Straley, daughters Claire Louise Straley, Linda Ann Straley, Paula Alcazar, sisters, Cathleen Straley, Janette Kopp, Janina Miller, Sue Straley, Maria Caston, brother, David Straley, cousins, nieces, nephews, and great nieces, nephews. He was preceded in death by his father, Joseph Philip Straley. We will love you always. As "Professor" Straley would say, "Hasta la vista, baby!" For memorial service call 562-505-6157.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Paul Straley
Paula Alcazar
March 7, 2010
Thought of
you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you
yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often
speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your
memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in his
keeping, I have you in my heart..
January 4, 2010
The Living Present
Standing at the crossroads of Time,
we must make a firm resolve to do better from day
to day, at least from the New Year's Day that
beckons us on with a promise of rosy dawn.
As there are landmarks on earth,
So there are landmarks in Time.
The past and the future are like sealed books to us:
The one is in the limbo of oblivion, while the other
is in the womb of uncertainty.
It is only the living present that is ours, and we must
make the best use of it, ere it slips away through
the fingers and is lost forever.
Human birth is a great privilege and offers us a
golden opportunity.
It is for us to make or mar the same, for it is given to
each individual to forge his or her own destiny as
best he may.
- Sant Kirpal Singh Ji
Claire Straley
December 30, 2009
Well it's been 3 and 1/2 months since the passing of my father, and man has it been hard. Especially the holidays, it's not the same without my dad there. I often visit his grave site, and the headstone is finally ready and going to be set in the next couple weeks. We put a picture of my dad on the marker so we can always see his face. Just a lil' note to say I miss you Dad and love you ever so much! It's not the same without you.
Paula Alcazar
November 16, 2009
Dear Family and Friends,
I recently created an online fund and I'd like you to consider donating to it. Your donation will help support the work of the Lupus Foundation of America. The Lupus Foundation of America is the only nationwide organization exclusively serving individuals, families, and friends affected by lupus....
Whatever you can give will be appreciated, and everything helps. Thank you for your support.
I created this to honor my dads memory by helping to raise funds for the Lupus Foundation and help support life-saving research and education to end this terrible disease. Please help me in my fight.
http://donate.lupus.org/goto/paul_j_straley
November 8, 2009
Dear Paula, Linda, Claire,
I would like to thank you for the privilege of inviting me to participate in your father's memorial. It was really a memorial of love. There was great love in all your words, gestures, and beautiful remembrances. Paul's is very much alive through his beloved daughters, looking and listening to all of you, I could feel his presence among us .
You are a testimony and homage to the great human being Paul was.
My best to you all,
Josefina Vidal
Dave Peloso
October 24, 2009
I only had the pleasure of knowing Paul for 4 years, I didn't really know what to expect the first time I met him, all I knew is that he had raised Paula (my girlfriend) as if he were her father. Paula is the most caring and generous person I know, and those traits were undoubtedly instilled in her from her sole provider, Paul. So I meet him for the first time with all of this in mind and he did not disappoint one bit. He came with a arm full of books, a big smile, a soft voice, and a beer that was made by monks. I knew I liked him right away. Over the years we talked a lot about history, politics, and whatever new and charitable cause he was working with. He was incredibly easy to talk to, and impossible to dislike. Paul, Paula and myself would watched obscure movies rented from the library and talk about them over wine. Paul was one of the most interesting people I have had the pleasure of meeting, from watching him do shape note singing to memorize train routes he was truly unique. Paul will be missed by those who knew him they're whole life, and those who knew him for only a few years. We're all left wanting for more time with such a kind sole.
October 21, 2009
Card for Family:
"Hello to Pauls Family,
My Husband and I were saddened to hear that your brother/father Paul had passed.We've heard my sister speak of him so fondly over the years and finally got to meet him at our nieces wedding. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and I know he was welcomed into Gods arms.
Sincerely Frank & Lucy Sanchez
(brother in law and sister to Cathy Rader)"
Claire Straley
October 19, 2009
It's taken me a while to accept that you're gone but I know you are in a better place. You were the best father a girl could have and I only dream of being such a great parent, as you were to us. I'm glad to have part of you with me as I saved some of your ashes in a locket, which I also gave to my sisters. The burial was very peaceful and you are finally at rest. I miss you so much but I know you are watching over us every step of the way. I am blessed to have had you as a father and I thank you for all you did. I love you Dad! Hasta la vista!
October 19, 2009
Dear Straley family,
I am saddened to hear the news about Paul. Please accept my sincere condolences and deepest sympathies. I had the privilege and honor to work with Paul “the professor” during our tenure at Xircom and Intel – His kind and gentle manor was always present. He was a consummate gentleman – His humility, unique humor and worldly depth of knowledge drew us to him for answers which only he could provide. He will be missed by all that knew him.
Sincerely
Tony, Lorena and Claire Lukyn
Kevin Fillo
October 19, 2009
Please accept my sincere condolences upon the loss of this incredible gentleman. I had the privilege of working with him at Xircom and am grateful for that fleeting opportunity to work with Paul. My prayers are with you all!
October 15, 2009
I'm thinking a lot about you today dad..Claire, Linda and I have matching lockets with some of your ashes in them. This way you can be close to our hearts always. My Luxembourg friend's Grandma passed away today. Perhaps you will meet her in heaven and she can help freshen you up on your Germain!
Tomorrow when you a buried at your resting place we will say this prayer for you:
Psalm 23
God, You are my Shepherd, I shall not want,
You make me lie down in green pastures,
You lead me beside the still waters,
You restore my soul;
You guide me in straight paths
for Your Name’s sake,
Yea, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me…
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me
all the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Eternal forever.
Marvin Mackey
October 14, 2009
Please accept my sincere condolences on Paul's passing. I worked with Paul at Xircom and remember him, and his sense of humor, fondly. We worked together for about 10 years beginning in about 1991.
Susan Woodard-Lane
October 8, 2009
I remember Paul's soft voice and the kind words he used as he spoke with his children. He seemed to have a gift for parenting.
So sorry for your loss.
October 7, 2009
You had a terrific Dad, I only knew him for a short time but felt we were connected , I will miss his emails and wonderful smile....Fondly, Cindy
Chris Woodard
October 5, 2009
I'll never forget the visits Paul and the girls made to our folks house in Ventura and later Elena and my home in Camarillo one Easter. We all loved Paul. My parents and the rest of us thought he was just such a funny, intelligent, neat guy and great Dad! At one point, I considered going into technical writing, and I remember Paul taking a good deal of his time to tell me about the ins and outs. As with all my dealings with him, he was just so kind and gracious. I can tell you this has been a pretty tough year, starting with Woody's death. I'm deeply saddened by the passing of another kind soul.
October 3, 2009
I'm so sorry to receive this news. You're right in your obituary about his suffering from mirthitis. Intelligence and a sense of humor are a great combination.
my thoughts are with you.
Best,
Brady
October 3, 2009
I first met your father Paul at the University of Chicago in the
1960s, when I was an undergraduate and he was a graduate student. We
would get together as friends and talk about books. Or we would do
nothing. Later, when he was teaching, he would grade papers while I
would be writing one. I put him in an experimental film once. Paul
and I remained friends ever since and never lost touch. Even when we
were on different continents, he never forgot to write at least a line
or two, more often a little mini essay full of observations about
books and movies. Every once in a while after he left Chicago we would
get a chance to meet somewhere - - once in Cuernavaca, and, the last
time about nine years ago in Los Angeles. For the past several years,
I would hear only once or twice a year, but was struck by all the
unusual interests he collected over time: shape singing! I've never
had a friend quite like him, quiet, unassuming and entertaining. I
enjoyed being a beneficiary of the mirthitis that you mention in your
tribute, but perhaps what I admired most about Paul was his gentleness
and caring quality. His faithfulness as a friend, and his openness. I
do not have to tell you how devoted he was to you and your sisters. I
have heard about each of you three girls every step of the way, in
those long letters, then emails, that he would write. He was very
happy that he was able to raise you and gratified when he could
finally see all of you secure and on your own.
I only wish I could be with you on October 10 to celebrate Paul's very
rich life. But I will have you and Claire and Linda in my heart.
warmly,
peg
October 3, 2009
Paul, you were my first friend of life. What a privilege to travel for so long down the brother and sister path together. I still keep expecting you to call! Love is all, Cathleen
Linda Straley
October 2, 2009
Memorial Service:
Lake Shrine
17910 Sunset Boulevard
Pacific Palisades, CA 90272
Saturday October 10, 2009
11am in the Wind Mill Chapel
Claire and I on his birthday
Linda Straley
October 2, 2009
Paul,
What can I say. The most amazing father a young woman can have. Caring, loving, creative, and giving. I only hope to be able to touch as many lives and share so many good insights during my lifetime. I love you Dad. Now and forever.
Peace,
Linda
yvette anguiano
October 1, 2009
Dear Straley Fam, I met Mr. Straley 15 yrs ago through Claire. Fell in love instantly with his charm, wisdom and most importantly his huge caring heart. He gifted me with his words, mind and with his daughter Claire. I will never forget his kindness. What he did specifically for me was write me a kind letter of appreciation and what he thought of me through a beautiful scripture from Corinthians, I thought, "WOW..this person impacted me so much and we are not even family! How he impacted his own family must have been remarkable!" Can't wait to tell him this when I also get to be with the Lord. Well Done Faithful Servant!!
September 30, 2009
I know him from shape note singing and contra dancing in San Diego. I am so very sorry! He was such a gentle, wonderful, funny, and deeply insightful person. He's one of those who leave the world much poorer for his absence, and I'm sure whenever he died, we would all have said, "That's too soon!"
I know you will all miss him. I met you and your sisters, at a Fathers Day picnic once in Poway Park. I got a strong sense of how you appreciated him, and he spoke often of all of you in glowing terms. my deep sympathy.
Sadly, I will be in the Midwest at the time of his memorial service. But my thoughts will be with you that day. The three of you, and the other people he helped nurture, carry on all that is best in him -- and there was a lot of that!
With my very warmest thoughts,
Marion Black
September 30, 2009
I received the notice of Paul's passing with great shock and sadness. I imagined him happy and industrious in San Diego, always looking at the next project, full of faith and contentment.
I am extremely sad and shocked thinking that Paul is no longer among us.
Every time I had talked to him, he expressed his pride and love for his daughters. He was so fond of all of you! I met him at Agnew many years ago. He was a first class editor who loved his work and was always helpful and kind to all the translators working there.
I will always remember him. I am extremely sorry for your loss.
Best regards,
Josefina Vidal
September 29, 2009
My sympathy to Paul's family and friends. Paul was a great guy and a good friend.
Patrick
September 29, 2009
I had such admiration for your father...he was a
beautiful human being.
Believe that he will always be your guardian angel....and you know you can keep on talking to him....(I'm still talking to my grandparents who died in the 1950s and 70s.) Yes, it helps.
Jane
September 29, 2009
Dearest Paula,
I was a friend of your father’s and loved to listen to him talk about you and your siblings.
I didn’t know he had had a stroke.
I’m glad he passed away peacefully.
Your father was a wonderful man. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Best,
Susan Plann
September 28, 2009
Dear Clara!
I had the privilige to also meet Paul and Waooow what a Sweet and wonderfull man he was!! I just know that he loved his daughters with all his heart and he wanted nothing but the best for them! You will be missed and I will always remenber you Paul... Claudia Maradiaga
Barbara Lingens
September 24, 2009
Dear Straley Family,
I had the privilege of working with Paul when he was a technical writer at Micom in Simi Valley. He was universally liked; everyone especially enjoyed his special humor. Not only was he easy to get along with, he was well respected as a coworker. His quiet insights into our work processes were especially welcomed.
My sincere condolences to you all. You have lost a fine person.
September 24, 2009
I only meet Paul once but I know his daughter Paula well and her love and devotion to him told me so much about who he was. I am sorry Chuck and I did not get to know him. Love you Paula.
Nancy Peloso
September 24, 2009
Dear Paula,
I’ve appreciated your kind letter and email. I was just about to write you when I read your message for the first time yesterday.
Alas, I had just sent something to Paul last Thursday, Friday. I’ve included some internal messages below because I wanted you to know how much Paul was treasured here at Recovery Innovations. He combined the best qualities of passion and civility, of kindness and determination.
Like Trang, I am ready to attend the services. Please let us know the details and I/we will be there.
My deep sorrows for this great loss.
Markov Manalo
---------------------
Hi Team,
It is with great sadness that I announce the death of our beloved friend and family Paul Straley. According to his sister Cathleen, Paul passed peacefully Friday. His girls are doing well and are making memorial arrangements. She’s unclear to the details, but will get back to me or Markov. If his memorial happens to be during a weekday this week, I will take PTO to attend. Over the past year he has become an important part of our RICA family. His presence will be missed in the office, especially as next year’s summit preparation begins.
Trang Do
Support Services Coordinator
---
Very sad. However, if a life can be measured by the good that was created while here on Earth, then Paul measures in abundant greatness. His kindness, sincere soul, gentle heart, smile and soft voice will be missed. I am glad that before he became ill, he was heading forward into a new chapter in his life. He felt needed, treasured, and he understood the value of the gifts he brought to our team. He was a blessing in our lives!
Lisa St. George
Lisa St. George MSW, CPRP
September 23, 2009
-----Original Message-----
From: Leslie Jenness/Scottsdale National Gender Institute [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, September 15, 2009 8:50 AM
To: Paul Kelley
Subject: RE: Paul Straley
Paul, thank you for letting me know. Mary Ellen called me tonight to also say Paul had died. I will email the family to let them know about my friendship with Paul and the things we did together and how he helped me with my website. He was a wonderful person...full of life and always seeking new adventures. I am also glad he did not suffer longer. I am sure this is a sad time for you and the rest of family.
I told Mary Ellen tonight that I have been thinking about Paul S. for the past four days knowing in my heart he had left this earth. He is free and I hope he finds great hamburger joints where ever he goes. We use to have so much fun seeking the best hamburger in town. I will miss him! Renee even went with Paul and I to a hamburger joint around Halloween...Paul showed up dressed as Zorro with sword and all.
He certainly was a wonderful friend and added to my re-introduction to San Diego when I moved here almost 5 years ago. To think we met all by chance at the Tall Ship expo working at the same boat dock ...or was it by chance? I think Paul was in many ways very religious in his beliefs in a universal spirit that is always there and all we have to do is pay attention. His stories about becoming a priest, raising the girls, making lots of money at ...?, and becoming an expert on railroad history I hope will be written down by someone or maybe Paul wrote them down. I am sorry you lost your cousin. His spirit will live forever.
Love you, Leslie
September 23, 2009
I will always repeat what you told me in March of 09:"Every stage of life has its rewards and challenges. Always remember that you are the expert on your life and the hero of your story." I will miss you Papa Paul but I am consoled by the fact that you knew I loved you too. Your Daughter Paula
September 23, 2009
Paula and Family---We wish we'd had the chance to meet Paul. He sounds like he was a gentle soul and remarkable man.
Richard and Diana
Janina and Dae Miller
September 22, 2009
Email from Paul 02-29-04 to Janina
"I told my shape note singing group about Thakar Singh's operation and we sang the following song for him at about 5 pm this afternoon. 1742 is the year it was written."
Tune: Foundery Collection, 1742
Lyrics: Robert Seagrave, 1742
Rise my soul and stretch thy wings,
Thy better portion trace,
Rise from all terrestrial things
T'wards heaven, thy native place.
Sun and moon and stars decay;
Time shall soon this earth remove;
Rise, my soul, and haste away
To seats prepared above.
Rivers to the ocean run,
Nor stay in all their course;
Fire, ascending, seeks the sun;
Both speed them to their source;
So a soul that's born of God
Pants to view His glorious face,
Upwards tends to His abode
To rest in His embrace.
* * *
We now sing this song for you, Paul, with all our love from your sister and brother-in-law.
September 21, 2009
Paul, tu realizidad mucho en tu vida y iluminado muchos de nos. Gracias!
Un ultimo beso. Tu hermano David. Vaya con dios
Alfonso and Anna Vidales
September 21, 2009
We will always remember your kind heart,soft voice and great smile. You were a fine teacher as well as an exceptional good friend. We will miss you greatly.
Sister Janette & brother-in-law Neil
September 20, 2009
Big Brother, We will greatly miss your lighthearted and caring nature. Love You! Your Northern California family, Janette, Neil, Isaac, Eli
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