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Juan Mendez Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Juan Mendez
Sponsored by The Lifes You Touched.
Javier Mendez
February 20, 2014
I miss you My brothers more than you'll ever know, I continue miss you so dearly , they say time will heal your loss and pain but I'm yet to feel any of that it's been 9 years yet it feels like 9 minutes ago when my sister told me over the phone she didnt want to tell me but I insisted. It continues to feel like a nightmare that I can never awake from I miss you and Tommy so much at times I feel alone even though, I am with the woman that has shown and given me love that I never knew was exsisted. As i enter this next chapter in life with my daughter Maricella becoming an adult i know i have my brothers to watch over her and that gives me some peace. And as I welcome my new baby girl in my life i'm so excited and blessed , may the lord continue to bless you both and continue to bless our entire family. I love & miss you my brothers until i see you again
Maricella Briana Alicia Mendez
January 31, 2013
It was never Goodbye ..
Simply See You til Next Time
Maricella Briana Alicia Mendez
January 31, 2013
Hey My Dearest Tio .. Life is Hard but Death it was easy .. expected but never accepted .. I miss you more everyday but don't cry as much over the years passing ... Even though I did not get to say bye I have came to realize why the reason of ... And its simply cause you never are truly gone never was it bye its simply til next time ... I know your looking down on me along side with My other dearest Tio Tommy I know in my heart your proud of me of my right and wrong doing we all have our faults I just know this cause I'm simply doing me & what I have to ... And what I've learned from you two is you never stopped doing what you had to literally cause just living breathing loving caring and growing taking care of what needs to be done to get to the end ... And you guys simply did it til the end til your last breath may you rest in heavenly peace . Goodnight Goodday Goodmorning and so forth I Love You dearly and your forever in my heart and in my prayers ... God Bless this God Given Mess
Mari Mendez
April 5, 2011
Just here missing you dearly , and thinking of you constantly on a daily basis !! i love you tio . . . - Bee
Melissa Renteria-Zamora
January 29, 2011
Well, cousin it has been some time since I heard your voice and saw your huge smile, but I am consoled by the treasured legacy you have left behind in your beautiful family. I also know that there is a time and a season for everything and I will continue to pray for you as you pray for all of us here...until we meet again in the Glory of God the father AMEN! All our Love, Missy and the Zam Fam!
James Huffsteter
June 2, 2010
Carlos, Its me James your child hood friend. I have not spoken to you since the summer of 1994. I wish we would have stayed in touch you truly are a special person. I remember me and you getting into trouble almost all the time, we had fun. I always talk about you as being my bestest friend. Your kids are beutiful. I'm sorry we lost contact, but it appears you lived a good life. I look forward to the day we meet again, God Bless, James Huffsteter.
Alexia Flores
March 12, 2010
Hi tio just wanted 2 say hi.Um...well we all miss very much. each second u get missed.well luv u tio hope i see u 1 day!
Fernando Chavez
March 8, 2010
I just found out Carlos has passed one day ago. I was planning a trip to the AZ and wanted to say hello. Carlos was the friend everyone wish they had. He was the guy that kept me from doing stupid things and influenced who I am today. Mendez, what happened? That was supposed to be me or some body else, but not you man. Why is it that God always takes the best ones first? You will be missed. I'm sorry for not visiting you sooner. And to the family: Thanks for bringing him to this world and giving us a chance to meet someone so special. I was in NC with him 3 years and I know he loved you guys so much. God Bless. If anybody would like to share what happened and were I can take flowers please email me at [email protected]. I would appreciate it.
maricella mendez
October 27, 2007
Hi ,Tio it is ten at night my grandpa just past i am sure u no bout it all redy cuz u probly see him. c u later i have 2 go c ya in mornin love bee with all my love
Gabe Zamora
August 6, 2007
dear JC
we miss you very much you were a awsome cuz and you were nice gentle and cool i hope you are good in heaven
Bianca Mendez
August 4, 2007
Dear Carlos,
I want to thank you for all the love you have given to me, especially on this day. I could not have ever known the Love of GOD if it weren't for you, because threw our LOVE, both while you were here on this earth and now, you have given my heart the absolute desire to continue to Love. God will always use you to show me His Love for me. God had a plan and that plan was to mold me and shape me in His Love, love that was shown unto me by you, our children and Anthony. The plan did not stop when you left this earth, but set me on a new path, a new road that I have been so very afraid of and didn't want to follow. What an extraordinary mystery...but My Lord has answered every prayer and "blessed the broken road" that led me right back to His love thru the most beautiful hearts like yours and Anthony's. This is your guestbook, but tonight Anthony made it a point to Honor and give thanks to what we shared, what I miss, remember and most of all the gift of Love that you gave me and now we share by the grace of God alone. I am truly blessed to know Love. May I GIVE love the way I have received...Thank you.
I love you~
Happy 5th Anniversary...
Always,
Bianca
de'andre whitmore
July 15, 2007
bro i miss you i wish you where here i goin to play football i need your help in order to be my best and be good and your girls are doin good but your wife is talking faster then then she mostly does bros for life peace
naiomi mendez
May 8, 2007
i will always love my daddy ,naiomi mendez
serena mendez
May 8, 2007
i love you daddy, serena mendez
Maricella Mendez
April 30, 2007
Tio I love you .You are a very kind person to me and to all.I would love to see you again ,but the only times are in my heart ,dreams beautiful dreams and in prayer and in...HEAVEN.I will always love Iwill I will I promise I will .I pray and pray until I heel and that will not be until ..awhile. I take one look at Serena and Naiomi and say they look just like their DAD my HERO , TIO [BFFL]Best Friend For Lifetime . Love your lil bee ;)
Dina
April 29, 2007
Mijo, I just signed Tommy's guest book. I never imagined in just 2 1/2 years time, I would be here, leaving messages for two of my sons. I want to thank you for coming to me in my dream, just 3 days before Tommy left us. There is so much significance in your message. If you never come to me in a dream again, it's OK. I prayed, and I understood what you were telling me in my dream. Thank you mijo, for giving me the insight into what we were about to face with Tommy. I believe it helped me, and in turn, helped your mom and others. I gained so much peace from your dream, and in sharing the dream, I hope it helped others. You have taught me to open my eyes and see things for what they are. You have also taught me to look beyong my human-ness and ask God to help us distinguish the message (through Prayer). Continue to pray for us mijo. Give your brother a hug and kiss from me. Tell him "I love him".
Monica Zamora
January 7, 2007
We are coming up on the two year anniversary of your passing and it still seems like only yesterday that we were getting together to celebrate one of many happy homecomings with you. Even as I log on to this guest book and your face pops up and your eyes smile at me, I still have a hard time wrapping my little human mind around the fact that you are not here on earth with us. But I am thankful that everyone in my family has fond memories and funny stories that we share about you. I think it helps keep you alive in our hearts and gives us great comfort knowing that we are not alone in our sorrow. I speak about you in the present tense, because I know that you are not gone from me, but just out of my sight. I still laugh about the day that you stopped by with Naoimi strapped in her carseat in the back of the jeep with her hair windblown and the music bumping loud and I expressed my motherly concern for her, and you smiled and said "she likes it" (It must be a jeep thing, right?).
Carlos, there's so much that I'd like to say, but you already know what's in my heart, LOVE... nothing but love for you. Your passing taught me a very valuable lesson. We take so many things for granted especially the gift of life. Because of you I hug and kiss my husband and kids goodbye every time they walk out the door because I don't know if they'll walk through those doors again.
I hope that anyone reading these words takes away just one important life lesson, that we have to tell the people that we love how we feel about them every opportunity we get and not wait to write about it in a guest book on a website obituary page.
Live each day like it's your last.
Bianca Mendez
December 2, 2006
I am suppose to write something about me, who I am, where I come from, where I've been and where I am going...right? The most endearing part of all I will have to say is that those who truly know the answers to those questions are the people who God has placed in my life with a real PURPOSE! You are my most valued treasure, you are my love. You have laughed with me when life was great! YOu have coasted with me when life was easy. You held my hand, have broken my fall, consoled my screams of pain, and wiped my tears when life was hard and then worse. I thank all of you who have supported me and for all of you who will continue to pray and support MY LIFE with our beautiful precious daughters and all that is to come. So here it goes... When I lost Carlos I died. My spirit, my real spirt, was gone forever. I didn't know what to do next, I just went thru the motions of life as that was all I knew how to do. I even went back to work 6 weeks later and even there I just went thru the motions of showing up and going home. I tried to engage in any activity that seemed normal in an effort to be normal for the sake of my girls and what sanity I thought I had left. Many told me that I would go on for the girls, that I had to, but even though my subconscious knew that, I didn't. Why would I go on? I didn't know what my role was in life if Carlos wasn't here to fullfill my happiness and all my dreams come true. He was all of my hopes and inspiration, all I had prayed for and thanked God for all wrapped up in the greatest gift of all, LOVE. Carlos completed me in that he was the crazy and fun one, who was full of life and spontaneous adventures and decisions (many to my dismay):) Anyway, we worked and now that he was gone my life just couldn't work. It's important to me that I say that during every moment even the first, I knew that I would never lose my faith. God had seen me thru everything else that I struggled with to that point and I knew that he was the only one who could make me understand even if it wouldn't be for many years. So now, almost two years later, not much has changed and yet SO much has changed. I don't love him an ounce less, but instead much much more. He changed my life forever, my spirit died with him that night and since then he has been changing my anewed spirit ever since according to God's will of course. Carlos loved us with an abounding heart, so much so that it is illuminated on our daughters' faces when they smile and in their expressions when they are also enjoying life's gifts of joy. It is in those moments that I can literally feel his warmth surround me and his smile brighten my soul. My heart may always be fragile, but the miracle of God, the miracle of LOVE, is that it won't always be broken and that I actually look forward to the days when it won't. I WILL "continue to love deeply and risk everything for the good thing"as I thank Carlos for giving to me a lifetime of faith, hope, and LOVE, just as he vowed. Thank you for listening to me. I love you.
____ Betti
November 5, 2006
Just thinking about you bro. Reading all the nice thinks people have said about you. Im still friends with all the boys that cared for you. Your loss is still a hard to talk about. (You know how it is.)I remember about a week before you passed you stopped by just to say hi and telling me how happy you were. Im sure you still are.
De'Andre whitmore
September 27, 2006
DEAR,CARLOS IF ONLY WE CAN SEE YOU AGAIN BUT WE CAN YOUR WITH US EVERY DAY BUT YOU ARE STILL THE GUY I THINK IS THE BIG AND BAD ARMY BROTHER's EVERY DAY ALL THE WAY.
De'Andre whitmore
September 18, 2006
carlos was my brother in law but he was my best bud he would love playing my video games.I going to miss him
Nina Gloria Lovett
July 24, 2006
My Dearest Son, J.C.,
You must know how many times I have attempted to write a little something in your guest book - but each time I try...I stop right about now. Even as I type these next few lines I am crying, not for you - but for me. I am so happy for you, that you are with our Lord, Jesus Christ and enjoying everlasting life! How awesome is that! I am crying for me - cause I am human and because I miss you so DAMN MUCH! O.K. I said it, I'm sorry Mijo, I didn't mean to cuss - pero you know your Nina, every once in a while I just lose it like that - did I say I am human? Anywho, a few days ago I received an email from your Nino Tony - and I couldn't have received it at a more appropriate time - I was totally thinking of you and going through some pictures of you when you were in H.S. - I thanked him for sending it to me - but I know that you sent it to him so that he could read it and forward it to me...I know how you are. Mijo, please know that life will never be the same without you - you were such a HUGE part of my life - you WERE my first little boy - I still remember when you used to tell on everyone because you knew your Nina would always take your side and make things right - why can't I make this right? I thank God always, for allowing you to call me that morning, your last day on earth, and say our good-byes, you sounded so happy - you were telling me about your new job, how much you loved it - how you were going to look for a house and move your family to Marana/Tucson with you - and of course I know you remember, I even scolded you (just like a Nina)for not calling your tia Cathy to let her know you would be late coming home...and you answered, I know Nina, I know - and then right away you changed the subject (like you so often did - when I was scolding you) You told me you loved me and that you would be heading home that day and I told you to be careful- of course, "Home" was going home to Jesus - little did I know then - but that was God's plan - I told you I loved you too and let me speak to Nana B (she was at Tia's home - you were actually talking to me and Anthony on the other phone - I heard you tell him, "Hey Ant - I'm talking to your Mom on the other phone - and you laughed - I guess you thought that was funny - come to think of it, a lot of things made you laugh - you called out to Nana - told her I was on the line - and I could hear you talking to Anthony and Nana never came to the phone so I hung up and you never came home...to Phoenix - but you went home to God - I love you son, I miss you - I will see you someday your Nina Gloria
Jason Metoyer
February 24, 2006
What it do Cuzz? I really miss you a lot especially since I'm relunctant about who I call Family. But on my life, you are for ever my brother in arms and spirit. I will always look to your example whenever I need a guiding light. I hope you don't mind if I bother you too much cuzz I know you chillin. But help a brother out when he need it, ya dig? I'll see you soon, but for now I'm just trying to live.....Holla....Jay(ATL)
Here's "YOUr GiRlS" at Christmas 2005. We Love you DADDY!
February 4, 2006
I found this picture of Carlos saved on our computer. This picture was taken about June 2003, in Iraq.
Bianca Mendez
February 4, 2006
Carlos, my love, today marks one year from the last time I saw you, touched, and kissed you. I somehow thought that this day would never come. "How will I make it that far," I would think to myself. I would wonder what will I be like, how will my life be, how will my babies change and continue to grow if you weren't here to help them along. I somehow imagined that I would just close my eyes and wake up one day to tell you all about it. Babe I woke up this morning and you were the first thing on my mind, the irony is that I woke up at my mom's house this morning in our old bed, in your old spot. I thought about everything that has happend over the course of the year and the days and months leading up to that night as I have been doing for the past couple weeks and realized how blessed I am to have known such great love with a man so amazing that he was able to fill my entire life with Christ. You have kissed my soul and the depths of my heart with the Holy Spirit. Your love is buried so deep into my soul, into the person I am that I literally feel you with every heartbeat. You could never be taken from me, my love. Never be far from me, because that is the true gift of love. When you are truly given that gift it means you can never lose it, exchange or return it. True love resides with you into eternal life, because God IS love and love IS God!
Thank you Carlos for showing me the spirit of God's heart and thank you God for transfiguring that love into physical form: Naiomi and Serena. I love you, both. Amen.
Jonathon Cassel
December 3, 2005
Greetings and a heart felt hello to the Mendez family,
Although I am far removed from you all my mother touched and connected to Bianca through a random telephone conversation.
I just want to say that the ways of our life here on this earth are so difficult to understand and at times appear so brief, it is through our actions with each other that we live on. Be it consciously or unconsciously we are forever creating not only our on individual future but our collect future as well.
As my mom touched Bianca, Bianca in turn touched me with a letter sharing her life. There is a huge circle that connects us all- I feel enriched by Bianca’s strength and her heart felt connection she and my late mom shared. May God bless all of you.
Jonathon Cassel
This is Carlos at Basic Trainning 1999 for all to share...
Lizzette Martinez-(Sanchez)
November 8, 2005
Dear Mendez Family,
I want to start by saying that this has been a shock for me. After so many years of not hearing from Carlos, I have now found out that he is no longer with us,... still in shock!
I met Carlos in his early Army years, boot camp to be exact (he was 19 years old then). I will never forget the day I met him, it was at Ft.Jackson, South Carolina, during breakfast. He sat infront of me and just said hello. He looked shy but with a glow in his eyes that he was thrilled to be there, he was so excited to serve and to be part of our US Army. He gave me his home address and ever since we became pen pals. In his letters he never had a bad day, when most were frustrated and ready to give up, he always had an exciting Army story or situaton that kept him going. I did not know him like most family and friends, (...in person, on a day to day basis) but at many times when life seems not to make sense (espacially on my teenage years), I would get one of his letters and it would totally brighten up any of my gloomiest day.
It just amazes me to see how one person could touch so many lifes. Reading through everyone notes, I see that we all something in common and that is that he played a very important part of our lifes.
To Bianca,
You are a great woman of God, I knew he would end up with someone like you. "Woman of God" is was what he was looking for on his future wife at the time that I met him. I am glad it was you. You seem to have made him very happy. I don't know you, but by your letters to him I see that you loved him so much, that you respected him and supported him. I appreciate that, he was a very special man. Keep on the faith, I know there are NO words of comfort at this time, but please don't give up. I will always be here for you and your girls, anytime you need a friend please feel free to reach me. You are not alone.
I also want to thank his mom and sister for being so supportive to you Bianca, you can not get a better mother in law and sister in law like the ones you have, they are great. May God bless you and give you the strength to keep on. Remember He will always be there for you, He is just a prayer away.
Love you much,
Lizzette and Family
Yvonne Perez(martinez)
November 1, 2005
Dear Carlos and Bianca,
Sorry it took so long for me to write it was so hard to read all the others and then have the courage to write my own without getting emotional. I have so many things to say but don't know where to start. I will start off by saying that I miss Carlos very much and I loved him as my own brother. I have known Carlos since kindergarten, we went to school together for the first 4 yrs K-3 and then I moved away, however in 7th grade we strangely met up with each other again and from that day on I made sure that we would never be apart again. This man was the greatest person ever I am sure he has touched everyones heart as much as he did mine. He was so loving and caring, he always made sure that I was okay and out of trouble. I would also like to say I could never be mad at him he always seemed to bring a smile to my face when I was angry all he had to do was say "Vonnie, look at me" and he would tilt his head down, still looking at me and then make an angry face just as I was and say "I still look cute huh" and it would always make me laugh. Bianca, I know I may have not been the greatest on communicating, but I do miss talking with you. I wanted to share a little saying from a book that you gave me at my baby shower (Kaylee's): "Make a memory with the ones you love, spend time to show you care; toys and trinkets can't replace those precious moments that you share" I thought of you when I read it. You also wrote a little something in front that I would like to pass on back to you. "I pray that the Lord gives you all the strength, love, and wisdom that you and you family deserve and I love you all!! God Bless You!" I love you Precious and don't forget that. Carlos, you will always be in my heart and I will always love you. You will be greatly missed but never forgotten. As Carlos would say
"Te Querro Mucho"
DAPHNE RODRIGUEZ
October 19, 2005
GOD BLESS YOU MARYLOU AND MIKE , AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY AS WELL. I KNOW YOUR JUAN IS AT PEACE WITH OUR HEAVENILY FATHER. HE'S THE BEAUTIFUL "STAR" WATCHING OVER YOU ALL.GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS MIJO.
Bianca Mendez
September 13, 2005
"In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
In all the world there is no love for you like mine."
~Maya Angelou
Lauren Werner
August 19, 2005
Carlos, I only had the pleasure of meeting you once, but I had the pleasure of working with your beautiful wife. It always touched my heart the way she talked about you, and I could see she was truly a woman in love. What a blessing for you both to have had eachother in your lives!! Bianca and I have now begun a wonderful friendship for which I am truly thankful. She shows me everyday the kind of person I want to be. I have a daughter who is just Naiomi's age and they get along great. Even though our meeting was breif, I know what a wonderful man you are, you are dearly loved and greatly missed. I am so blessed to be a part of your family's life and I thank you for that because I know you have a part in it. I am looking forward to the day that I am able to meet you again.
BIANCA MENDEZ
August 8, 2005
This was a card given to me from my friend Lauren for our anniversary...
~The Mansion of Heaven~
This world, however beautiful, was never meant to be the place that we would call our home for all eternity. And though we would not choose to leave,
A loving God knows best,
And in his time, He lifts us to a place of peace and rest. For he has built a mansion where His children will abide, free from pain and sorrow, forever at His side. He said He'd never leave us to face our trials alone, and though sometimes we fail Him, He never fails His own. And even when our choices are less than He would ask, He knows when human courage is unequal to the task.
We cannot judge what happens,
Though tears and questions start-
We only see what's visible -God sees into the heart...
And though there may be many things that we cannot explain, We can be sure it breaks His heart to see His children's pain. In loving arms, He bears us to a quiet place apart where He mends the wounded spirit and heals the broken heart. And though these ones we love so much have left our present sight and passed into a better world of majesty and light, someday we'll be together in our Father's home above,
Where we'll thank Him for His mercy and praise Him for His love.
May God ease your hour of sorrow and surround you with His love, and may it bring you strength to know Our Father's house above is a house of many mansions where His Son has set aside special places near him for his loved ones to abide.
I hope this touches many hearts the way it has touched mine...
Bianca Mendez
August 3, 2005
For you My Love,
This Is the Meaning of Love
By Emily Matthews
Someone whom makes you feel good about living, who brings out the you who is joyful and giving-
This is the meaning of love.
Something that gives you a chance to be strong, or trust in another to help you along-
This is the meaning of love.
Somewhere that you feel like you've been forever-
A place where you're growing and learning together-
This is the meaning of love.
~All that I am, all that I see, all that I dream and I do are better and brighter and filled with more meaning because of my feelings for you.~
~Happy Anniversary~
I thank God upon every rememberance of you...
I Love You Always,
Your wife
Minerva Sanchez
July 27, 2005
Bianca and Cristina,
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I Know it has been a long time since we have talked, but I want you both to know you will always have a friend in me. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. I never knew Carlos on a personal level, but I do remember what a great person he was. May god bless you and your families.
Simonette Oates
July 23, 2005
Bianca, Cristina,
May god bless your hearts. I know it has been some time now but I barely got word of your loss... Carlos was definitely one of kind....he always made me laugh...Bianca, you and your girls will remain in my heart and prayers as well as you Cristina and your family...take care and your are loved.... I wish i could have been there for you guys...
BIANCA MENDEZ
June 28, 2005
HI BABE,
HOW ARE YOU? I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. I MISS BEING WITH YOU, LAYING IN YOUR ARMS AND TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE. CALLING YOU FROM WORK TO SEE WHAT YOU AND NAIOMI ARE DOING...CHECKING ON YOU TO MAKE SURE YOU AREN'T GOING CRAZY WITH THE TWO GIRLS...I MISS ALL THOSE LITTLE CONVERSTAIONS. REMEMBER I WOULD CALL TO SEE IF YOU WANTED ME TO STOP AND PICK UP SOMETHING FOR YOU TO EAT BEFORE I GOT HOME, OF COURSE YOU ALWAYS SAID YES, "BRING ME A PHILLY CHEESE STEAK, WITH EXTRA JALAPENOS!"
I MISS YOUR SMILE, THE WAY YOUR EYES WOULD SQUINT AND GET GLOSSY WHEN YOU WERE SO HAPPY. YOUR SMILE WAS SO BRIGHT AND SHAPED LIKE A HALF MOON AND LIT UP YOUR WHOLE FACE. NEXT TO NAIOMI AND SERENA YOU WOULD LITERALLY GLOW, IT'S SO APPARENT IN ALL THE PICTURES I HAVE OF YOU WITH THEM, AND I KNOW IT WASN'T THE FLASH!! I HAVE THIS PICTURE OF YOU ON MY DESK AT WORK THAT SITS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND YOU ARE HOLDING NAIOMI AT SEAWORLD! WE WERE WATCHING SHAMOO WAITING FOR THE WAVE OF WATER TO SPLASH US. YOU TWO WERE LAUGHING WEHN I TOOK THE PICTURE SO BOTH OF YOUR SMILES TELL A STORY, THEY'RE THAT POWERFUL!
I ALSO HAVE THIS STATUE OF A HUSBAND AND WIFE DANCING AND YOU CAN FEEL AND HEAR THE LOVE THEY SHARE FOR ONE ANOTHER AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE FACES TO EXPRESS IT, BUT IT REMINDS ME OF THE WAY I FELT EVERY TIME YOU HELD ME, EVERY TIEM I SAT ON YOUR LAP EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS ABOUT 10 OTHER PLACES FOR ME TO SIT, OR THE WAY YOU MADE ME FEEL WHEN YOU WOULD HOLD MY HAND IN THE CAR EVEN THOUGH WE WERE ALREADY SITTING SO CLOSE. I REMEBER BEFORE WE WOULD GO TO BED AT NIGHT YOU WOULD GIVE ME A KISS AND SAY "GOOD NIGHT BABE, I LOVE YOU." THE ONLY TIME YOU DIDN'T SAY IT WAS WHEN YOU WOULD BE OUT OR AWAY WHEN I WAS GOING TO BED, AND I AM ALMOST CERTAIN THAT YOU DID IT ANYWAY WHEN YOU WOULD GET HOME AND TRY TO TIP TOE INTO BED. I MISS WALKING INTO A ROOM AND SMELLING YOU. GOOD AND BAD, :) I MISS ALL THE TIMES YOU WOULD TRY TO THROW ME ON THE BED WHEN I WOULD GET OUT OF THE SHOWER AND I WOULD SCREAM FOR NAIOMI TO CAME SAVE ME! SHE WOULD JUMP ON YOU AND SAY, "NO DADDY, MY MOMMY..." SOMETIMES IF YOU GOT TO HER FIRST SHE WOULD HELP YOU AND BE LAUGHING HISTERICALLY!!
I MISS SHOWING UP PLACES WITH YOU, THE FOUR OF US. WE LOOKED SO COMPLETE AND PERFECT IN MY EYES. PERFECT IN THE SENSE OF HERE WE WERE, FINALLY TOGETHER ALL FOUR OF US, MOM, DAD, SISTER, AND BABY. WE WERE JUST MISSING THE DOG...BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BABE, ALL WE EVER TALKED ABOUT AND ALL WE EVER DREAMED ABOUT WAS BEING TOGETHER, LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE AND SHARING EVERY HOLIDAY, BIRTHDAY, ANNIVERSARY TOGETHER. REMEMBER WE SAID THIS WAS OUR YEAR TO HAVE ALL THAT. THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST YEAR THAT WE WOULD START AND FINISH THE YEAR TOGETHER. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS CAN BE REAL. IN MY HEAD I TELL MYSELF THIS IS REAL AND I FEEL THAT THE ONLY REASON I EVEN SAY THAT ALOUD IS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IF I DON'T PEOPLE AROUND ME WILL THINK I AM CRAZY FOR NOT ACCEPTING THAT, BUT I FEEL IN MY HEART THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME ALIVE, JUST AS YOU WERE LAST YEAR AND THE YEAR BEFORE. I KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT WHEN YOU FINALLY CALL ME OR COME HOME THAT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU ALL I HAVE LEARNED AND NOT LEARNED SO FAR AND I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS SO THAT WHEN YOU COME HOME YOU WILL BE ABLE TO RELAX AND ENJOY LIFE.
CARLOS I KNOW THAT YOU ARE ENJOYING SO MUCH MORE THAN I AM, BUT I JUST WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT AND WANT TO BE APART OF IT. I DON'T WANT TO BE HAPPY, TRULY HAPPY WITHOUT YOU, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE. HAPPINESS ISN'T AND WILL NOT EVER BE WHAT IT USED TO BE. I MADE A FRIEND WHO ALSO LOST HER HUSBAND AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE DIED AT THE VERY MOMENT HER HUSBAND DIED, THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS HE WENT HOME AND SHE STAYED HERE SURVIVING ONLY FOR HER CHILDREN. SHE IS RIGHT.
PEOPLE TELL ME THAT WHEN WE GO TO HEAVEN WE WILL LOVE EACHOTHER AS BROTHER AND SISTER, ALL OF US, WE WILL EACH FEEL THE SAME KIND OF LOVE AND I KNOW THAT'S SUPPOSE TO BE A GOOD THING BUT I WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE AND I WANT TO SHARE THAT WITH YOU, THAT LOVE THAT ONLY TWO PEOPLE FEEL FOR EACHOTHER. IT SOUNDS SELFISH TO SOME, BUT TRULY I JUST MISS BEING INLOVE AND NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND THAT UNLESS IT HAPPENS TO THEM. REMEMBER WE AGREED THAT THERE IS NO OTHER FEELING LIKE KNOWING THAT SOME ONE IS INLOVE WITH YOU AND THAT YOU ARE INLOVE WITH THEM BACK, REGAURDLESS OF HOW FAR AWAY WE WERE FROM EACHOTHER. SO I WONDER ARE YOU INLOVE WITH ME OR IS THAT CHANGED BECAUSE YOU ARE IN HEAVEN? WILL YOU PRAY FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND AND REJOICE IN THAT OTHER KIND OF LOVE THAT YOU MAY FEEL FOR ME AND THAT I WILL FEEL WHEN I SOMEDAY GO HOME. BABE, MY LOVE, I MISS YOU EVERYDAY AND WANT SO MUCH TO BE WITH YOU. PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR ME AND ALWAYS STAY WITH ME. I LOVE YOU.
ALWAYS AND FOREVER,
YOUR BABE < >
BIANCA MENDEZ
May 3, 2005
Hello Everyone~
I found this peom on a card and wanted to share it with all of you who love Carlos and have shown me the same love during this time. Thank you, all of you.
~I KNOW THAT HE LIVES...
for I saw Him today
in a hand that was offered
to me on my way,
in the warmth of a smile
that was offered to cheer me,
in the touch of a friend
who took time just to hear me.
~I HEARD HIS VOICE
in the words of support
whispered to me
when hope had run short.
~YES, I KNOW THAT HE LIVES...
for I see how he sends
His love everyday...
in the caring of friends.
I love you all and I love you Carlos. Thank you Jesus, for your love and support. You are the only way.
Always,
Bianca
bobby aguilar
April 6, 2005
Well it took alot of strength to look at this guest book let alone write something, i have so many emotions about my brother leaving but i believe i have somehow recieved his strength and have used it in my life and i realize i did that when he was alive i used him not in a bad way but i feel he carried me on his back throughout our lives together and i couldnt have asked for anyone more loyal and honorable to be my brother i wanted to share something that was given to me and has been helping me get thru my hard times ....
---somehow, in the midst of what seems to be the worst possible thing that could happen, you must find the strength that you need to presevere.you must develop the courage that will be required to take the next step. you must face the challenge head on in order to realize that challenge comes to make you ,not break you.
losing a loved one can be a devastating experience. whatever your challenge may be,it can rock you to the core.somehow you must remember that you are up for the task. remember that you do have the strength,remember that you can trust life to give you the courage to face anything.as painful or frightening as the difficulty may be you will do what needs to be done because you have no other choice ..and giving up is not an option--(carlos never gave up).
give youself a moment to take a breath.allow everything that you are feeling and thinking to move through your body.the moment that you feel that you cant take it or wont make it reach down into the essence of your being.from that place pull out a scream. then pull on your power,your strength,the divinity of life within you. this will somehow make you stronger and stronger for those around you....
carlos is within me and he will forever be with me thank you bro for making me a better person i wont let you down
Daniel Mendez
March 29, 2005
Juan Carlos your dad Tommy and my dad Tony Mendez are good friend's. They've been friends for many years. I met you and lil Tommy your brother before it is always sad to here about some body passing. My famalies prayers go out to you and your family.
Lisa Ochoa
March 21, 2005
Carlos you are deeply missed. I want you to know your spirit will forever live on. You touched so many lives and I want you to know that.I also wanted you to know I did respond to your last letter but I was forgetful in mailing it so it never made it to you. I know you are in Gods kingdom know so you already know what my responses were. Your family will not let your spirit die. Love Ya Always Lisa
MRS. JUAN CARLOS MENDEZ
March 10, 2005
GOODMORNING BABE,
IT'S ABOUT 5AM AND I HAVE BEEN UP SINCE 245. NEEDLESS TO SAY I CAN'T SLEEP. MIJA WOKE UP AT 245 FOR HER BOTTLE AND I TRIED TO GO BACK TO SLEEP, BUT I HAD SO MUCH ON MY MIND. I KEPT THINKING OF ALL THE PLANS WE HAD MADE EVEN TO THE DAY YOU WENT HOME. I MISS YOU LOVE. I JUST WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE AGAIN WITH MY EARS, BECAUSE I KNOW I HEAR YOU IN MY HEART AND I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT, BUT SOMETIMES I JUST NEED TO HEAR YOU ALOUD. YA KNOW? ANYWAY I TOOK MY CAR TO GET WASHED AND CLEANED OUT OUR TRUNK TO THE CAR AND BOY WAS IT PACKED WITH STUFF FROM SO MANY DIFFERENT TRIPS WE TOOK. I MADE SURE TO KEEP SOME TOOLS IN THERE AS WELL AS THE JUMPER CABLES, OIL, AND JACK JUST LIKE YOU TAUGHT ME. I DO NEED TO PUT A FLASHLIGHT IN THERE AND SOME FLARES, BUT I WILL BABE I PROMISE.
IT WAS NICE TO SPEND SOMETIME WITH YOU TODAY BY MYSELF. HOW WONDERFUL FOR ME TO HAVE FOUND THAT BOOK AT THE CHURCH TODAY, HUH? OR IT FOUND ME. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT AND JUST FELT SO AT PEACE AND WARM READING IT WHILE I WAS THERE WITH YOU. I TOLD CRIS THAT TOO AND THAT AS I SAT THERE I THOUGHT OF HOW NICE IT WOULD BE FOR ME TO DO MY HOMEWORK AND STUDY THERE WHEN I GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I AM NOT SURE WHEN THAT WILL BE, MAYBE THIS SUMMER? THE THING IS I AM NOT SURE WHAT I WANT TO DO ANYMORE, SINCE THIS HAPPEND I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR WAYS TO MAKE SOMETHING POSITIVE OUT OF IT FOR OTHERS, I HAVE A FEW IDEAS BUT NOTHING HAS CLICKED JUST YET, BUT I AM SURE YOU AND GOD ARE CONSPIRING A PLAN FOR ME. PLEASE LET ME KNOW SOON IF IT'S GOD'S WILL.
I HAD BEEN CONSIDERING SENDING THE GIRLS TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL AGAIN AND THEN YOUR SISTER ALSO MENTIONED IT YESTERDAY AND THE SAME SCHOOL AT THAT. I WANT TO BE AS CLOSE TO GOD AS POSSIBLE AND I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE SO WONDERFUL FOR OUR BABIES TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY AND TIME FOR PRAYER AND MASS DURING SCHOOL. HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT. I STARTED PRAYING FOR THEIR INSTRUCTORS EVEN THOUGH IT'S A LITTLE WAYS FROM NOW, I JUST PRAY FOR THE TEACHERS AND MINISTERS IN OUR CATHOLIC COMMUNITY TO TEACH AND EXPLAIN ACCORDING TO OUR LORD AND NOT THIS LIFE WE LIVE IN, BECAUSE GOD IS CONSTANT AND NEVER CHANGING AND WE NEED TO CONFORM TO HIS WAYS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO CONFORM HIS WORD TO OUR WAYS.
I AM SCARED TO EVEN LOOK THAT FAR AHEAD IN THE FUTURE, BECAUSE OF THIS I REALIZE THE FUTURE COULD BE TOMORROW. IT'S HARD FOR ME THOUGH, BECAUSE BABE LIKE YOU I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE TYPE OF PERSON TO SET LONGTERM GOALS AND PLAN OR DREAM FOR THE FUTURE AND THEN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN I JUST FEEL LOST SOMETIMES AND UNCERTAIN. I ALWAYS KNEW WE WERE NEVER IN CONTROL, BUT I NEVER REALLY KNEW THAT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I AM SURE YOU DO, MOST TIMES YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO DID. I MISS THAT, I MISS SHARING IDEAS BACK AND FORTH. I MISS OUR PILLOW TALK AND OUR EXTREME TALKS ABOUT NOTHING AND EVERYTHING. REMEMBER WHEN YOU CAME HOME FROM IRAQ AND WOULD ASK YOU FOR A "MAKEOUT SESSION" AND WE WOULD STOP WHATEVER WE WERE DOING TO KISS, IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER, CLEANING, WATCHING TV, AND MY FAVORITE AT STOP LIGHTS! AS TIME PASSED WE HAD LESS AND LESS OF THOSE AND I REMEMBER YOU STILL ASKED FOR THEM WHEN I WAS STRESSED OUT OR UPSET, BUT I WOULD SAY NO, UNTIL RECENTLY WE SHARED THAT FUNNY LITTLE TRADITION AGAIN. I AM SO SORRY BABE FOR BEING STUBBORN ALL THOSE OTHER TIMES OR PRIDEFUL IN MY ARGUMENT THAT I DIDN'T JUST STOP AND KISS YOU IN THAT MOMENT. I FEEL ASHAMED TO SAY TO YOU NOW THAT I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO TAKE EVERYONE OF THE TIMES BACK THAT I SAID, "NO" OR EVERYTIME I THOUGHT ABOUT SAYING IT AND JUST DIDN'T, BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD TELL ME NO. I AM SO SORRY. I HOPE THAT OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILIES REALLY PROSPER FROM OUR PAIN, (DOES THAT SOUND BAD, BABE?)BECAUSE OUR TIME TOGETHER HERE IS NUMBERED AND EVERY SECOND COUNTS. I WANT EVERYONE, INCLUDING MYSELF TO REMEMBER TO LOVE FIRST AND LIVE SECOND LIKE THIS MOMENT WAS OUR LAST. CARLOS, MY LOVE I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH AND PRAY THAT I GROW STRONGER AND DEEPER IN LOVE WITH YOU AND OUR LORD, JESUS CHRIST SO THAT I MAY BE WORTHY TO ACCOMPANY YOU IN HEAVEN WITH SO MANY OF OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW WONDERFULY AMAZING IT WILL BE THE DAY WE ARE TOGETHER IN THE HOUSE OF OUR FATHER, I AM SURE WE WILL NEVER WANT TO LEAVE HIS HOUSE TO GET OUR OWN. THAT'S FOR SURE! I CAN ONLY IMAGINE AND SOMETIMES NOT EVEN THAT. I LOVE YOU AND LOOK FOR YOU IN MY DREAMS AND PRAY TO BE UNITED WITH YOU AGAIN. I MISS YOU, BABE. GOODNIGHT~SWEET DREAMS, DREAM SWEET. MUUUUAAAH!
LOVE,
YOUR BABE
Bonita Lovett
March 8, 2005
JC! My brother, my cousin, my compadre, my friend...Man cuz, what are the right words to say to someone that you love so much and want to see again just one more time? I want you to know how proud I am of you for being such a brave man and always wanting to help out whenever you could. I can't tell you how happy I am that you got to see me battle...twice! That was so dope in Tucson and in Foutain Hills. Yeah my 21st is coming up this Friday and that is the part that I am most bummed out about. I was so ready to start our long nights together roaming the city and being able to go out together, legally! Your daughters are growing so fast and every time I look at them I see you sooo much! I am so jealous they have your gorgeous eyes! I can't wait to see you and talk to you and to hear your laugh again. That could always put a smile on my face. Ohh yeah, you would be so proud of me. I stopped biting my nails! They are so long, I don't even know what to do with them! That was for you. I love you so much and I want to thank you for all the memories that I am left with...Bonita
Crystal Vasquez
March 8, 2005
Carlos,
I only met you once but knew right away that you were a special person. I met Bianca at work. I will never forget the impression that she made on me. I was her trainer/instructor and on the fourth day of class, I showed a video about the military. This beautiful girl stood up and clutched a necklace that she was wearing (It was a Holy Cross). She had tears in her eyes and asked the class to please pray for you. She explained that you were in Iraq, fighting for us. We talked some after that and she was so proud of you and so in love with you!!! She was so excited that you were coming home for two weeks and I told her to bring you to the office so that I could meet this great guy she was talking about. Well, she did and I knew right away that you two were perfect for each other. Soul mates does not even describe it. Bianca went on to work in the bank and even though I hardly saw her after that, your family was in my thoughts and prayers so much. It is really hard to explain. I will continue to pray for your entire family.
Lauren Zamora
March 6, 2005
Juan Carlos we love and miss you doun hear.I hop you don't mind but i shared our converstaion with or family. You know the one we had outside at tia Gloras house at Christmas time. We love and miss you.
Anthony, Missy, Xavier, Marissa, Lauren, and Faith Zamora
March 6, 2005
Mijo, We love you, We love you, We love you! The holy sprit in us knows you are with our Lord and Savior in all his GLORY! and that you, my dad, tios, tias, tata and all the Angels and Saints are helping us to fight the good fight here on earth, so that we can be together again one day in heaven, but the human in us is a little selfish and wants you all to be here. We will continue to pray for Bianca and the girls and for all of our souls and you know one day the pain will subside a little bit. I won't say goodbye for now, but "asta manana" We love you cuz.
BIANCA MENDEZ
March 5, 2005
~Dear Carlos,
It's me, babe, I just got home from the movies. We went to see "Million Dollar Baby" I think you might have seen the previews for it and I remember it winning lots of awards and we hadn't even heard of it. Infact I don't think it was at the theatre yet and niether you nor I could figure out how it was already getting awards. You know the one with Clint Eastwood...anyway it was a real good movie, I understand why they won and why they were so emotional when the won. It is a movie about the spirit of a person, someone with so much courage, inner strength, love, and the most beautiful heart. Sounds like words I would use to describe you, babe. This person was a girl, but if she were real she would be related to you. I cried a lot during the movie, sometimes for her, mostly for you. Sometimes it was because I wanted to turn and look at you, to read the expression on your face so that I would know if you were feeling the movie, or if you thought it was a little much. I could always tell what kind of conversation we would have after the movie about 30 minutes into it. I remebered that the last movie we saw together I think was Ladder 49. I remember both of us just in awe throughout the movie, so impressed, so taken back. Remember driving to your brothers after and the drive was so quiet, we didn't have words at first. Then we began to share how it made us feel. I was crying even as were turning on 7th ave, you said "Babe, it's okay, it's a movie." This time you weren't saying it mocking me, but hesitating, because then you said I know it really happens and then you went on to talk about the decision that the character John Travolta had make at the end and there were no words. I remember telling you that after seeing that I didn't want you to pursue that career anymore, that I was scared of losing you. You told me that there hasn't been any deaths from fires in the valley that you could remember and so I started to tell you about this firefighter we lost while you were in Iraq and in Korea, and you were surprised. I don't remember what we said next exactly, but I remember you making me feel safe and reassuring me that everything would be okay. Whatever you did in life it would always be okay. I heard Naiomi crying and screaming right now and my heart almost came out of my chest, I ran downstairs the whole time calling her name so she could hear my voice getting closer, it sounded so scary, but I think what happend was Serena woke up and you know how her cry sounds,so then it woke Naiomi up and it was dark and there wasn't anyone there tyring to comfort them right away and she took off to find me or someone. Isn't that just like Naiomi worried about her little baby and so brave to come out of her room to look for us. They're so little babe and everyday I find something that makes me so proud of each of them. Naiomi has just been growing up so much, so fast. She talks a lot more now, real words and we bought her a hoola hoop and she and I have been making little dance routines up with it. We each hold on to it, standing across from one another and she taps her foot in 1-2 and taps back 3-4 and then we boogie woogie down and boogie woogie up, then we ring around the rosie and we fall down. When we fall down we row, row, row, the boat gently down the stream. You remember how she loved that and she always wanted me to row with her and you to sing to her. I know you see us dancing and doing this and smile and say, "Yes, babe! That's it, make her smile, listen to her laugh, keep her this happy forever." I feel your smile and approval. I hear you telling me how proud you are of me when I try to be all I can be. You make me smile babe, and you make me proud of our family, meaning all of us, you, me, and our girls. When Iam alone with them doing quality things, like reading to them or dancing like that with Naiomi, those are the times I start to hurt the most, when they look at me with heaven in their eyes. That is also when I know and feel you are the closest, that is when I know you are there without a doubt. I think that's part of the reason it hurts so bad, because I feel you all the way thru me, and so I expect to see you when I open my eyes, but when I look around and see the picture of you and not your body slouched on the couch, with a pillow on your chest I remember how long forever seems, how long seconds seem. I miss you so much babe, there are no words to describe how much, but can you feel the way my heart is beating so thick, so heavy, so hot? It beats that way for you. The breathe in my nose almost seems to burn and chest feels tight. Remember I would always tell you, "I love you so much it hurts." You would ask me what does that mean? I would tell you I don't know how to explain it, it just does. Now you know, now I know. Babe, Mija's birthday is coming up and I know it's going to be hard, too hard, but she deserves a party with her cousins, I know you think so too. I saw a swing set like the one I wanted to get her for her first birthday that she was too small for, remember we liked the wood ones better, well I found one at the best price yet and I want to get it for her. I know she will just love it and it will be nice for her and Serena as they grow. What do you think? Please lead me to something if there is a special something you want to get her, I know you've been doing that lately and I think I am hearing you pretty well. Sometimes I question is it my voice or yours, but then when I can't figure it out I listen to God's and it becomes clear. I want you to come home babe, I am waiting for you everyday. But it's like Javier told me, we are waiting for you, but you are waiting for us to come home. I can't wait. I want us all to go home together. I can't wait, babe.
Tell me how beautiful it is there...how does it smell? How does it feel and taste? I hear you speaking to me, asking me to do something and you sound so excited. I will Babe. Between me and you until it's done. You are wonderful, so wonderful.
Babe if you don't mind I am going to send this letter, because I check this book everyday and want to read stories or feelings that other people have to share, not with me but our babies. I want them to know this if here forever and to feel comfortable writing what's in their hearts and that when they don't know what else to do they can write to you and what could be more beautiful then sharing the truth about the love they have for you. I gave some people journals to write in, so that I will have stories in a book to read to our babies as the grow, but this will be here forever and will hopefully have thousands of entries and memories for us to share with them. How special that anyone in the world can write on this, so that your friends from all over can help tell your story. Babe I love you so much, please know that my whole life,even as a little girl, I wanted to fall in love and most of all be fallen for. I know that some days were hard, but remeber the days I would tell you that it is the most AMAZING feeling to know that no matter how far away we were, someone loved me the way you did. Remember. I do. How greatful I am that I talk too much, that I would talk to you until I could find the words to express to you how and what I was feeling. I told you one time just say whatever it is your feeling and if comes out wrong, you can just go back and fix and adjust it until you get it just right. We were getting so good at that, weren't we? We were making it babe, we were loving it all the way. Our marriage.
Babe, I am still talking to you, but I am going to stop writing now. Can we continue this in my dreams? I want to hang out, just you and me. I love you babe, I will see you soon. Muuuaah!
Sweet dreams, Dream sweet.
Love,
your babe
Carlos and Adrian workin' the grill!
February 20, 2005
Daddy and Naiomi trick or treating!
February 20, 2005
"Look how beautiful," he says...
February 20, 2005
Proud Daddy and Serena leaving the hospital!
February 20, 2005
Carlos and Naiomi picking out her pumpkin!
February 20, 2005
Bubba
February 18, 2005
To Cristina & Bianca
May God bless you Both. My prayers are with you both and your familys.Carlos was one of kind and he will not be forgotten.Keep your heads up!!!
Bubba
Our family (where's Tommy?:(
February 17, 2005
Bianca Mendez
February 17, 2005
~Oh my Jesus,family,& friends~
Where do I begin? I sit here on my couch alone where we sat together many days and nights. We sat here talking, laughing, fighting and crying. We layed there sleeping, cuddling, and kissing. To be honest as I look around the house there isn't an inch that doesn't hold a memory. When we were with eachother we were really together. Our passion for one another was intense regaurdless of the situation, good or bad. Now I feel passionless, numb, yet overwhelmed with emotions; shock, denial, confusion, sadness, anger, lost, and even anticipation. Oddly enough I also feel rational & calm almost as if I am preparing myslelf for what's next? Knowing not at all what that "next" might be, I do know that I do not look forward to it because apart of me fears that my world will continue to tumble around me.
~However, with all of my heart I hope and pray for brighter days. Days when I can laugh with infection and not feel any guilt but only sheer joy. I know that in reality FAITH IN GOD is all we can truly count on in this world, both in extraordinary and horrific times. This world, this society, teaches us a different kind of faith and happiness, of which fools us into believing that the tangibles including our loved ones are only as real as the touch and feeling beneath our fingertips. Having to live this surreal life every second of my life now, I have just begun to realize that the real truth is that the real "feeling" is not beneath our fingertips, nor the palm of our hand, but instead it is inside of our skin. It is, the soul, the spirit of life that we fall in love with. As hard as that is to accept I know it is the truth.
~I am in-love with Carlos because of who he was behind his beautiful hazel eyes and big blinding smile. I loved to feel the warmth that came form within him, not the arms that wrapped themselves around me. Although, trust me all of that is greatly and painfully missed. Again I fell in love with Carlos form the inside-out not the outside-in. This is true for most of us, so why can't we still continue to fall in-love with him. We can, I can. I am realizing even as I write this that the joy, laughter, pain, and tears that I shared with my husband continue to circulate throughout my body, but more so my soul.
~I believe that my husband is in heaven and I know deep down that there is no better place for him to be, not even here with me and our girls. As painful and really terrifying as that is for me to think,say, or write I know I have to accept that truth. I will not lie, I haven't really accepted any of this yet, but it's my faith and love for God our father, Jesus, our Blessed Mother, and Holy Spirit that keeps my wounded sanity, strength, and courage afloat. I need strength to wake up everyday, courage to go through the days and nights and my sanity to understand why and for who this is neccessary.
~Our daughters will grow up not knowing their daddy on their own and that pains me and as much as I want to be with their daddy, God has a different plan?? He has given me the tools to teach them about their "Daddy" through all of you whose lives he has touched. It is with the grace of God that I will look for ways to include, teach, demonstrate his love, and give them their Daddy. Our girls are also my strength and my courage.
~I know that I will probably cry more than laugh right now and I will most definitely fall down many many times before I rise, but I pray that God forgives me when I am weak and human. I pray to always find reason to persevere.
~ Like others have said there are so many more thoughts and memories I could write and share, but there are many which have no words great enough to describe.
~Carlos is like no other man and no other man is like Carlos. Carlos loved with God's love even when he didn't know it and that is special.
~I thank all of you with my deepest sincerity for your genuine love, generousity, and concern. I ask that all of you please continue to pray for "My Love" -Carlos, our precious babies, myself, and for all of you whose pain I do not know, but I am sorry for and will also pray.
~Carlos, my love I do not have to tell you how much I love you and miss you. You know that I look forward to our wedding in heaven and the day that we breathe the same air. I love you, babe. Sweet dreams and dream sweet.
~May the peace of our Lord be with all of you. Thank you really and Good night.
~Mrs. Juan Carlos Mendez
Tilliemarie Duenas
February 15, 2005
Bianca & Cristina
I remeber when I used to call you girls and Carlos would answer he would always say "What up Billie" I remeber Freshman Year he would always tell me and Cristina that we didn't belong out we needed to be at home. He was such a GREAT guy who will be missed by many and will always remain in our hearts.
You girls are not just my Friends you are like SISTERS to me. This is a terrible time for all of you and I know that there are no words I can say to make this pain go away all I can do is continue to be here for you and your family. I love you both and don't ever hesitate to call me.
God Bless.
This picture was taken at Tia Rosie's house in Oct. 2004
Cristina Mendez
February 10, 2005
My dearest brother,
I am blessed to have a brother such as you. I miss you so much, I don't know what to do or say. Thank you for always loving and protecting me. I am so proud of you and the man you have become. I promise you that I will always be there for your girls. I can't wait until we are together again. I love you.
Your little sis
Bobbie Jo Carrillo
February 9, 2005
Bianca,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Carlos was such an amazing man with such a beautiful smile that would light a whole room. I know not to many things we can say right now can take away your pain but just know that you and your family are in my prayers. May God lift you and your family up in your time of need.
Lupe Padilla
February 8, 2005
I know I was blessed to know you. Though I only knew you for a short time, the memories will be forever. My prayers are with you and your family Kalos!
Henry & Evelyn Castillo
February 7, 2005
My husband coached JC in little league at Zito. He grew up with my son Jason from kindergarden though HS. We had the pleasure of knowing JC, he was a great kid always very polite. My husband was proud to hear that he had joined the service and made the right decisions in life.
Our prayers go out to your family.
Brandon Rios
February 5, 2005
To The Loving Family of Juan Carlos Mendez,
I am deeply sorry for the pain and sorrow in the loss. Know that he is in a greater place with out Lord and Saviour watching over each and every one of us. He will be greatly missed.
With All My Love,
Brandon Rios
Nicholas Franklin
February 5, 2005
Carlos,
My vocabulary isnt big enough to show the amount of appreciation I have for being able to serve with you at home and abroad, and for being the friend you are. Everytime we tell a story at work you name seems to pop up, the impact you had on us all is far to great for words. You will be forever remembered and missed by all of us.
Bianca,
Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family, myself and the rest of the B 404th ASB (Mad Dogs) will continue to show you support in any way we can. Please keep in touch and may God be with you.
Jason Castillo
February 4, 2005
I knew Carlos since k-garden, we were even stationed together in the service. He will be missed and never forgotten.
Trudy Matheny (Honeywell)
February 4, 2005
Dina and Family
My heart goes out to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. There are no words that can express the loss you are feeling. I did not know him personally but from what I have heard is that he was a joy and a gift to your family and friends. He not only was a good person, a good husband and a good father, he was a good soldier who sacrifaced his time away from his family and friends to fight for our country. God Bless
Joshua Anthony Perea
February 4, 2005
Carlos,
You and Javier were like brothers to me when we were growing up. Man, we got in and out of a lot of trouble, huh? You grew to be a great man, someone I can only aspire to be like. I never got to thank you for serving our Country. You are a True Hero. You and your family will always be in my heart and prayers.
Tony Molina
February 4, 2005
May God bless & watch over all the families & friends involved. Take comfort in knowing that Carlos is walking with God & may that ease your pain.
Duty, Honor, Country
Phyllis Griffin
February 4, 2005
Dina & Family
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You were truly blessed to have had him in your life. We are grateful that he served our Country too. He IS a True GENTLEMAN. Phyllis Griffin & Yasmin Moreno.
Karla Reed
February 4, 2005
Dina and Family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. May God be with you and help you carry this load.
Karla
Becky Ipong
February 4, 2005
Bianca,
May GOD carry you and give you strength your time of need. Rest assured HE is always with you and will not leave you. My condolences to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
(coworker from Principal)
Eddie and Denise Zazueta
February 3, 2005
Bianca,
Our prayers are with you and the girls. Although Eddie and I only knew Carlos for just a short time, he definately left and impression in our hearts and mind. Your husband was a beautiful soul. There are no words that will mend your broken heart, may God be with you and your family.
Love Your Neighbors,
Eddie, Denise, Zoey, Disney and Eddie Brandon Zazueta
We found this Poem for you.
In Loving Memory of Carlos Mendez
"Don’t grieve for me for now I’m free, I’m following the path God laid for me. I took his hand when I heard him call. I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day, to laugh, to love, to work, or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way, I found that place at the close of day. If my parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss, Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow. I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My life’s been full, I savored much, Good friends, Good times, A loved ones touch. Perhaps my time seemed all to brief, don’t lengthen it now with undo grief. Lift your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, he set me free..."
Never to be forgotten but always to be remembered...
Donna Ebel
February 3, 2005
My families prayers are with you all. How tragic that Juan dedicates 6 years to our country, comes home safe and then passes away in an auto accident. Life is not fair. With deepest sympathy.
Michael Samudio
February 3, 2005
Carlos,
We miss you brother!!
From Mechanics class in highschool, to your welcome home celebration, you were always there making us laugh, now you've reached your destination.
You are a Great Soilder, and I'm glad I got to thank you for that...
For death is only physical, but your memory will always be HONORED..till we meet again in heaven
you will always be missed.
Gari Carroll
February 3, 2005
Deeply sadden to hear of this terrible loss to the Mendez family. I went to school with Carlos and remember him as a good ball player. He was a nice young man and my heart goes out to his whole family. He will be remembered by many school/teammates and will never be forgotten. Mendez family, you are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you all.
Tia Ginny
February 3, 2005
Carlos~
I'm trying to write down words that will comfort all of us, but yet feeling sorry because your little family was just starting to bloom. But as our faith tells us we have to be ready for our apointed time. Mijo- your time here with us was short, but our vision is for our Heavenly Father's Mansion where there is no pain and no tears. And we thank Him because you were chosen to be apart of our family. I will always remember your lips, I would describe them as soft pillows. Sometimes I'd ask for two kisses! Mijo I will miss you and your pillows. And you know what I mean! I love you!
PRISCILLA CRUZ
February 3, 2005
MY HEART AND PRAYERS ARE WITH MY TIA MARYLOU AND HER FAMILY. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL. JUAN CARLOS WE WILL MISSED DEARLY. I LOVE YOU.
Paula Nieto
February 3, 2005
We never met Juan Carlos, but we heard so many good things about him through his aunt Mary Garcia. We would like to express with great sorrow, our deepest sympathy to all the family. Our prayers are with you in your time of sorrow. May God be with you and comfort you.
Love, David & Paula Nieto
& Tomasa Rios
Jose Tito Herrera
February 3, 2005
My deepest condolence goes out to Bianca and her daughter also the family and friends of Juan. I never got the chance to meet him but by the talks and looking at Dina’s entry in the guest book. He was the best he can be as a person, father, Brother, Husband, etc. My thoughts go out to everyone special to and loved by Juan. I am John Jimenez’s nephew, Tito
Eleanor Castillo
February 3, 2005
Primo- I'm at a loss of words.. Just know that I will cherish the time that we had with each other: chatting, nit picking, and teasing! I love you Cuz, and I'll miss you terribly! Til we meet again.
Freddy Canez
February 3, 2005
Juan Carols how soon you were taken from us/ but our Lord is number one and I thank him that now you are enjoying a full life with your family in heaven> God Bless you love your tio fred
Vanessa Ramirez
February 3, 2005
Carlos, I love you! We spent many great and crazy times together and no matter how mad I got at you and Bobby you could always make me smile and laugh. I will cherish every single memory and always hold you close to my heart. Love always, Vanessa (V or Ness depending on who Kalos was talking too)
Esther Briseno
February 3, 2005
Que Dios te tenga en su gloria.
Emma Hernandez
February 3, 2005
Carlos was a good guy with a big heart, he will be missed dearly!
mike rivera
February 3, 2005
I loved Carlos with all of my heart. I would have done anything for him and I will remain doing anything I can for his family.May the lord with be with all of you and remember to keep a smile and always be positive for Carlitos. God Bless his soul.
Robbie Rivera
February 3, 2005
What a guy Carlos!! I had the chance to know him through my Son Mike Rivera,,,,he was one of the boys always at the house,,,,he always called me Mom and my husband Pops,,he had so much love for everyone, he will be greatly missed,,,but forever in our hearts!
Dina Romo
February 3, 2005
Mijo, what a beautiful man you are. Words could never express how much love and joy you brought to my life. I am so proud of the Gentle MAN you grew to be. If ever there was a person that fit that title, it is you. Sorrow and sadness touch my heart right now. I will miss you dearly. I know that our faith promises that we will meet again in our Heavenly Fathers Kingdom. I know that you were chosen to go before many of us, so that you can help prepare a place in heaven for us. I pray that the life I live will be pleasing to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, so that I may one day be worthy of being welcomed into heaven with your hand and the hand of God reaching for my hands to show me the way. You were always one that I could rely on for help around the house, or fixing the cars, even when you were home on a short leave. For six years this country relied on you to defend it's people and land. You make us proud to be Americans. Thank you for serving in the United States Army. You are a "True Soldier". I believe that you know all that is in my heart and how very much I love you. Please also know that Bianca, Naiomi and Serena will never forget how much you love them. We will never let them forget. We won't let you down. I love you Carlos "860413". THANK YOU and Love you lots, Dina
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