Elizabeth West "Betty" Alexander

1919 - 2019

Betty (Elizabeth) West Alexander of Arbor Acres died in her 100th year on April 10, 2019, surrounded by her loving family. Betty was born on December 26, 1919 in St. John, New Brunswick, Canada, where her father was training as a surgeon. Her mother, Jean Dayton West, was a well-known and much-loved portrait artist, who continued to paint into her 90s.

Betty lived an extraordinary life, but she would tell you that everything she accomplished was done "years ago." She was the first woman to join the board of Summit School, was active on the Arts Council, and helped start the Arts Council shop. Betty was also a past president of the Junior League of Winston-Salem, on the board of Old Salem, and she remained involved and interested in her book clubs (including The Monday Afternoon Book Club, which meets on Tuesday and doesn't read books, along with various volunteer organizations. Betty was one of the founding members of The Evergreen Garden Club and her passion for flowers remained throughout her life such that her homes were always filled with fresh flowers from her garden, where she named a rose after each of her children.

Most impressively, when all four of her children were under the age of 16, Betty went back to graduate school at Wake Forest University to earn her Masters' degree in English Literature.

In 1942, Betty met future husband Eben Alexander when her father, Leonard West, who had been training Eben for a WWII Mash unit, brought Eben home to meet his three daughters. Betty and Eben began dating and finally, after six long weeks, were happily married for the next 62 years. When Eben was deployed to the Pacific Theater during the war, he wrote to Betty almost daily for two years. Upon his return, he continued his training in Neurosurgery and became a pioneer in the field. Betty and Eben moved from Walla-Walla, Washington to Toronto, to Boston. They both enjoyed their travels immensely and maintained their friendships from those areas for decades.

In 1948, they moved to Winston Salem when Eben was recruited to assume the chairmanship of the Neurosurgery department at Bowman Gray School of Medicine. They fell in love with Winston, and Winston with them. It was here they started a family with Jeanne being the first, followed by Alex, then Betsy, then Phyllis. It was also at that happy time that Ms. Lola Black came into their lives, and Betty and Lola established a deep and abiding friendship that lasts until this day.

The world is a dimmer place without Betty in it. Betty never said no to entertaining and no one did it more beautifully or made it look more effortless than Betty and Lola. She wanted everything to be impeccable and her standards were high. Her home was open to elegant parties for friends and associates, everybody felt welcomed and embraced whether it be birthday parties, our annual Christmas Eve party, or too many slumber parties to count.

Betty was ever curious, her quest for knowledge was insatiable and she read the New York Times from cover to cover each and every day. Betty was a faithful Democrat. She believed in equality and justice for all. Her curiosity led to a phone call her children would receive in October, when night began to fall early. "We need to get a trip on the books...where should we go?" Those trips are some of the best memories she left behind.

She also leaves behind her four adoring children: Jeanne Sullivan (David) of Newark, Delaware; Dr. Eben Alexander, III (and Karen Newell) of Charlottesville, VA, Betsy Alexander (Robbie) of Charlotte, NC, and Phyllis Alexander of Winston-Salem, NC, in addition to her five grandchildren: Eben Alexander, IV, Bond Alexander, Dayton Alexander-Slye, Jack Alexander-Slye, and Kate Alexander-Heyward, as well as her best friend, Lola Black.

She was preceded in death by her devoted husband, Eben, her parents, and her two sisters, Phyllis West and Mary Ellen Lloyd.

We'd also like to thank her caregivers, Mary Lynn Ackerman and Ofa Tonga.

Services will be held this Sunday, April 14 at 2pm, in Piner Hall at Arbor Acres in Winston-Salem, with a reception to follow.

In lieu of flowers, memorials should be made to Crisis Control Ministry, 200 10th Street E, Winston-Salem, NC 27101 or the charity of your choice.

Online condolences may be sent to www.salemfh.com.