Matthew Vila

Matthew Vila passed away peacefully on February 7, 2025 in Forest Hills, Queens, NYC from an adverse reaction to immunotherapy that compromised vital organs. He fought valiantly to overcome the toxicities wrought by the five infusions he received, but all efforts failed. He was 70 years and 2 months old. He retired in August of 2024, so he could face what he thought would be his impending battle with lung cancer. It ended up being a battle with the treatment instead.

Matthew is survived by his wife, Shari Cohen-Vila; his mother, Eleanor Gilbert; siblings, Carol-Ann (Stewart) Vila-Young, Margaret (John) McLurg, Wayne Vila; niece, Isobel McLurg (Jeffrey) Konkler; cousins, Barbara Ann Daggett, Donald (Bonnie) Gilbert, Raymond Gilbert, and Robert (Anthea) Gilbert; sister-in-law, Helen (Michael) Black, niece-in-law, Samantha (Matthew) Habermehl; and nephew-in-law Jason (Milena) Black.

Matthew was born in New York Hospital, NYC on December 4, 1954 to Eleanor (nee Gilbert) and Henry Vila (01/28/30 - 09/02/19) who pre-deceased him. Matt must have enjoyed the gestation process since his mother finally went into labor late in the 10th month. He weighed a healthy 9 lbs 9 oz at birth. He was also born into a family with many strong-minded woman - his Mom, Grandma Enid Vila, Grandma Kate Gilbert, eldest sister Carol, elder sister Margaret, and a beloved female Belgian Malinois dog, "Whiskey." With his ever present smile, large dark eyes, and kind disposition, he was fiercely loved by all of them, all of his life. Luckily for him, his brother Wayne followed two years later, so he had someone to play GI Joe and Battleship with and, in general, mess up their shared room. Matt had a close relationship with Wayne all his life. After Wayne moved to Texas, they continued to have lively conversations on myriad topics as Matt drove to and from work. In his youth, Matt enjoyed handball, participated in some judo classes with his Dad, and was named best athlete in his 6th grade class. But what he really loved was movies. Starting with the classic TV programs, Million Dollar Movie and Picture for a Sunday Afternoon, he watched classic movies every week with his siblings. For many, many years, he had a standing "movie night" with friends, especially Helen and Shari. Turner Classic Movies remained his favorite channel throughout his life. At home, he was dubbed St Francis of Assisi due to the animals that were attracted to him. He ended up bringing home to the apartment in Manhattan - a giant turtle, a laying hen (rehomed), a pet rabbit (rehomed), a parakeet (rehomed), a German Shepherd (rehomed) - and later in Queens - his dog, Dusty, who followed him home, and again parakeets (rehomed). With Shari, Matt rescued numerous (mostly tuxedo) cats over the years - Spike, Samantha, Butch, Josie, Cleopatra, Moses, and brothers Jack and Baron. Nicknames started early for Matthew. To his family, friends and co-workers, he was Matt the Hat, or Matty, or Matt, or Alfred (Batman's Batman) or Uncle Matt, and he was even dubbed Disco Duck because he was not a fan of disco music.

The ancient Greeks had seven words for love - Eros, physical love; Agape, sacrificial love; Erotoropia, playful love; Storge, family love; Philautia, self-love; Xenia, hospitality; and Philia, brotherly love. Although Matt, like each of us, expressed all of these forms of love at one time or another, his personality was dominated by Philia - friendship, loyalty, and respectful equality. These traits defined him more than anything else. He accepted people as they were, faults and all, and rarely passed judgment on them. He helped both his friends and strangers whenever and wherever he could. Many a friend (sometimes with their wives) ending up living with him for a while, sleeping on the couch or spare bed, until they could make some needed adjustment in their life. In his home, there were dozens of wedding pictures with Matt as a groomsman or best man. He was the guy who came early to work to help his crew mates, or brought them instructions and forms needed to get handicap parking for their elderly parents, or worked holidays so others with children could be at home. He cared deeply about his friends and by extension their families too.

Although a good high school student, he sat early for a GED, and without a prep course, passed easily. He was a MOPAR man starting in middle school and was eager to enter the car industry, rising to manager of the parts department at various dealerships in Queens. During this period in his life, he was more interested in experiences with friends and earning a good wage. The youthful highlight of his life was probably his cross-country road trip from NYC to LA, riding aside his buddy, John M, with whom he also built cars. He never tired of talking about the power and beauty of Hoover Dam, the Rockies, and the Pacific Ocean. He spent many a weekend camping in upstate NY at New Paltz with "the gang," especially Nick K, and Dave OB. For many years, he and Nick owned a small power boat that they routinely used to fish in Long Island Sound. Despite being against war and hunting, he also enjoyed target shooting at his friend Bob F's working farm. Matt and Shari went to the farm quite often. In fact, Matt enjoyed nature so much that some thought he would become a park ranger. Many were surprised when he left the car industry and started to work "in the underground" for NYC Mass Transit since he never rode the subway. He grew to love his job and the people he worked with, and really did not want to retire. Starting as a conductor, he moved to dedicated announcer (including a stint at Grand Central Station), and then tower operator. He passed the test for dispatcher but decided to stay a tower operator, the position from which he retired. He was known to be very good at his job, making high stress work look easy due to his extensive knowledge and laid back temperament. When needed, he was the right and left hand man for his supervisor. At work, he never left those who depended on him hanging in the breeze; he was the safety net beneath their feet.

About girls, there were always girls, since there was not a misogynistic nor chauvinistic thought in his being. He was the best friend, son, and brother a woman could have. He made his lifetime commitment to Shari and was there with her through thick and thin until the end. They had many good times, especially early on when it was easier for them to travel to Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Baltimore, MD for conferences, Salem, MA for Halloween, and Houston, TX to see his Mom. In the later years of his life, he took every step he could to ensure Shari would be safe and secure for the rest of her life. This was one of his dying wishes to be honored. His other wish was to spare his beloved Mom any anguish over his illness and to make sure she continued at age 93 to keep driving during the day, socializing with her friends, cooking her healthy meals, and staying up-to-date on her computer. Her strength fed his strength, and he learned the open door policy for his friends from her, as many will attest.

Family members and those rare, true friends who go before us live in our thoughts forever, and every so often something will come up to remind you of the impact Matthew had on your life. For now say a silent prayer in your thoughts for a beautiful soul who just left this earth. He earned a place above with the angels. Wish him Godspeed.

A memorial service for Matthew will be held at St. Margaret RC Church, 66-05 79th Place, Middle Village, NY 11379 on Saturday, March 1st, 2025 at 11:45 am. Phone: 718-326-1911.

Immediately following the service, a luncheon at 1:00 pm will be held at the nearby restaurant, Villa Erasmo, 69-61 Juniper Blvd S, Middle Village, NY 11379. Phone: 718-894-8191.

To celebrate his life, his mother and siblings have donated through the Arbor Day Foundation a forest of 120 trees to be planted in the Klamath Basin in southern Oregon as part of the Bootleg Fire (2021) Recovery.

In lieu of flowers or donations, consider also planting trees in Matthew's name through The Arbor Day Foundation, 211 N 12th Street, Lincoln, NE 68508. Phone: 888-448-7337. Website - www.arborday.org

We want to thank the funeral home, B Anastasio and Son Inc., 533 Lorimer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NYC for all their compassionate assistance to Shari.