Sophia Bialkowski

 

In Loving Memory of Sophia Bialkowski

March 27, 1922

April 9, 2020

Click here for Sophia Bialkowski Service

Sophia Bialkowski, 98, of Dearborn, Michigan passed peacefully on Thursday, April 9, 2020 following a series of health challenges.  Through her nearly ten decades of life, she faced many changes, celebrating the joys and adapting despite the sorrows. 

 

1920’s

Sophie was born in Detroit, Michigan on March 27, 1922 to Maryanna (Swierzbin) and Peter Zajac.  Her parents emigrated from Poland through Ellis Island around 1913, then on to New Jersey and settled in Detroit, Michigan. Family stories say that her father “got wind of the coming war” and decided to leave Europe.   Sophie is the fourth of five children – Walter Zajac, Frances (Zajac) Kotora, Ed Zajac, and Jen (Zajac) Osentoski.  Sophie’s parents primarily spoke Polish, so she learned English from her older siblings, neighbors, and classmates.  She began school in Detroit in the late 1920’s, but before long Sophie, her mother, and siblings moved to Kingston, Michigan where her parents bought a farm.  Her father stayed in Detroit and continued to work at the Ford Rouge Casting Plant, since he and Maryanna believed they could best provide for their family during the Depression with that geographic separation.  On some weekends, Sophie’s father visited his family via a “tin lizzy”, occasionally accompanied by his boss and other work buddies.

 

1930’s

Sophie continued her education through the 8th grade at Beverly School; a one room school house that was a good trot (approximately a quarter mile) down the road.  In January 1930, her sister, Jen was born at the Kingston homestead.  At nearly 8 years old, Sophie returned home from school to find her mother in bed with a bundle – a baby!  She had no idea where the baby came from.  Sophie shared a story about begging to accompany her brother, Walt into town on the horse drawn wagon.  Despite Walt’s warnings about the cold, winter winds, she insisted on going.  She was so cold before they reached town that Walt made her get out and walk back home.  The wood burning stove in the kitchen provided a warm welcome!  Sophie recalled fun times with her schoolmates and neighbors.  Christmas celebrations were a community event held at the school and included a simple tree cut from the local woods.  One of her friends, Elizabeth Laszlo, visited more and more frequently throughout the years.  She became a part of the family when she married Walt in December 1941. 

 

Working the farm was a family affair.  Generally, Sophie’s brothers, Walt and Ed managed the crops and animals, while the household chores fell to her mother, sisters, Frances and Jen, and herself.   The gender divide of chores was not complete and neither had the easier set of chores.  When Sophie celebrated her 90th birthday, she was asked what modern invention made the biggest difference in her life.  She said the washing machine!  She recalled the days of boiling water on a wood burning stove to wash heavy clothes and sheets, as well as hand cranking a washer and ringer out on the front porch.  She said that when a gas powered engine was bought to run some farm equipment, it also fueled the washer.  Walt hitched the horses to a sled and brought the engine from the barn to the front porch.  Despite many hard days filled with farm work and household chores, even without the city conveniences (e.g. no indoor plumbing, only outhouses), Sophie said she did not know about “The Depression” until it was over. 

 

Sometime in the late 1930’s, Sophie returned to Detroit to live with her father.  During that time, her mother became ill and returned to Detroit.  Sophie rode a bus after work every day to visit her mother at Eloise Hospital.  Marianne passed in 1938 due to cancer.  Sophie rarely spoke of that time, as it saddened her immensely. 

 

1940’s

In the 1940’s, Sophie remained in Detroit living with her father, managing the home while working, as well.  Her sister, Frances worked as a nanny in Detroit and her brother, Ed enlisted in the Army (1942), where he served as a medic during World War II.  Walt received a medical deferment, so he and his wife worked the family farm , while his sister, Jen attended Beverly School.  During this war, Sophie worked at the Cadillac Clark Street Tank Plant grinding burs off crank shaft castings from 1942-1945.  She is a member of the “American Rosie the Riveter Association”.  Sophie caught the eye of John V. (“Johnny”) Bialkowski from across the dance floor at a post war dance hall.  He asked her to dance and she agreed. 

 

1950’s

On May 6, 1950 Sophia and John married at St. Barbara’s Church in Dearborn, Michigan - the parish of John’s family and where he attended school.  John’s sister and brother-in-law, Bernice and Joe Criscenti were the maid-of-honor and bridegroom. Their nearly 61 years of marriage revolved around family.  For about six years, John and Sophie lived with her father and brother, Ed in their Detroit home on 30th Street.  During that time, Sophie’s son, William (1951) and daughter, Patricia (1952) were born.  She literally became the “chief cook and bottle washer” for six!  Those had to be tiring times for Sophie, but Patty and Billy thrived in that three generational household.  Together, the photography team of Sophie and John captured the lives of their extended family.    Many snap shots show the fun of family holidays, like Easter, Christmas and especially birthdays, as well as the everyday activities of play and chores. A classic photo representing their simple fun of the era is of Patty and Billy inside the empty shell of a television set.  Those photographs are cherished heirlooms!   Living together in a three generational home allowed John and Sophie to save enough money to purchase - with cash - a post WWII bungalow in the suburb of Dearborn.  That was just in time for Billy to begin kindergarten.  The family of four became a member of Divine Child Church.  The family grew to five, when Carol arrived in 1957. 

 

1960’s

Sophie’s role as the “homemaker” during the 60’s revolved around her children’s education, both academic and extracurricular; providing meals promptly throughout the day; maintaining the home and yard; building family connections; and more.   She adeptly helped her children navigate the challenges of education at Divine Child School and a later transition to Dearborn Public Schools.  She steadfastly encouraged their participation in dozens of Dearborn Recreational activities, e.g. music lessons, Little League sports, baton lessons, Children’s Acting Troupe, Parks and Recreation trips, etc. and school activities. Of special note is her willingness to camp with the family for an entire week in rustic tents at Camp Dearborn.  That week remains a precious family highlight. At home, Sophie arose each day before her family to perk coffee and fry eggs for John, as well as pack lunches for her children.  By supper time she had a full “meat and potatoes” meal on the table within minutes of John arriving home and everyone promptly sat down together.  She provided those meals on strict “milk” and “grocery” budgets.  Years later, John complimented her on her ability to successfully manage the household and prepare meals on the budgets saying, “I don’t know how you did it.” 

 

Sophie and John built family connections in many ways.  Sophie hosted many extended family visits and especially holiday gatherings in the basement on a homemade ping-pong table. She often packaged meals for her father and brother that were then delivered by John and their children.  (Perhaps she finally rested during those trips.)  Team Sophie and John further built family connections by frequent family visits to local relatives, like the Criscenti and Bokuniewicz families, as well as the Zajac, Osentoski, and Kotora familes living in Kingston or Saginaw/Cass City, Michigan and Vermillion, Ohio.  Those trips were for sharing holiday meals, baling hay, collecting sweet corn, peaches, and grapes, or socializing and playing games, like Bingo or Rummy.  Occasional family trips around Michigan (Kellogg’s cereal factory and Fort Mackinac) and one trip to Florida for Christmas showed Sophie and John’s team work and interest in experiencing more.  

 

Despite the demands homemaking, Sophie eked out time for pleasures.  She enjoyed embroidering, crocheting, and sewing, especially after she gave up darning socks as her friend, Ethel Korona encouraged her to do. Ethel, a decades long friend of Sophie, was a younger, working woman and Sophie appreciated her “new” perspectives.  Sophie also enjoyed gardening.  The flowers and tomato plants in her backyard thrived under her care.  She also made time to build neighborhood friendships “over the fence” and “across the street” through coffee chats and stop by visits.

 

Although history views the decades of the 60’s primarily by rocket science, T.V. dinners and the start of fast food restaurants and contrasts them with assassinations, the Korean and Vietnam Wars, and social uprisings, life in the Bialkowski home was more like “Ozzie and Harriet”.  Sophie and her family were fully aware of the changing social times.  She feared for her father and brother during the Detroit Riots.  Her heart beat faltered as she watched the 1969 enlistment lottery; until at last, Bill’s number was pulled for a later date. 

 

1970’s

The 70’s were like the 60’s, but the focus of Sophie’s caring changed to include a wider community.  In the late 60’s and early 70’s, Sophie continued to lead Girl Scout Troop 739 - Carol’s troop from Divine Child. Several girls stayed in scouting because of her leadership.  Sophie became a member of the Divine Child Altar Society, caring for the altars and altar linens.  She and John began traveling.  In the mid 70’s, when Sophie’s father, Peter became less able to care for himself, she and John brought him to their home.  Sophie cared for his growing needs, until the demand was too great for homecare.  She struggled with not being able to continue his care.  Her father passed in 1977. 

 

1980’s and 1990’s

By 1980, all of Sophie’s children graduated from high school and college – a distinguished accomplishment for a couple, who both had formal educations through the 8th grade.  In 1981, living conditions in parts of Detroit grew worse and it was no longer feasible for Sophie’s brother Ed to stay in the 30th Street home.  Sophie and John opened their home to him and helped him sell his home.  Although she worked to find adequate help, her brother passed in May 1981.   

 

Most of the 80’s and 90’s were marked by joy for Sophie as her family grew.  Carol married Craig Kuesel in 1983 and Pat married Jim Windak in 1984.  Four grandsons were born - Andy Windak, Kyle Kuesel, Karl Windak, and Ryan Kuesel.  Sophie became “Grandma B” and she loved to visit her grandsons, especially summer trips with Pat and her boys to visit Carol and her boys.  After John retired in 1984, Sophie and he became active members of the Dearborn Seniors group based at Divine Child.  She loved her expanded friendships, activities, and outings that this group offered.  In 1989, Sophie and John contentedly downsized and moved to Morley Manor, a Dearborn senior citizen high-rise condominium.  At that time, Sophie gladly passed the baton to Pat and Carol to host the family gatherings for birthdays and holidays.  She and John happily continued their family visits, but now most frequently to see their children and grandchildren.  She loved her weekly calls from Bill as his career at Ford Motor Company took him to many destinations, including California and Hungary.  His reported adventures served as personal travelogues for her. 

 

During the 80’s and 90’s, Sophie and John also expanded their travels to locations in the United States and aboard.  Sophie remarked that the trip she’d repeat and recommend to others was the inland water cruise to Alaska, because of the natural beauty.  She was most emotionally altered by their trip to Auschwitz Concentration Camp in Poland.  It provided a deeper gratitude for her parents’ brave choices to leave family in Poland and move to the United States. 

 

2000’s and 2010’s

Sophie and John’s 50th wedding anniversary celebration with extended family and friends was a very happy start to the 2000’s.  She was particularly thrilled that so many of her relatives and friends attended.  Great sadness enveloped Sophie when her daughter, Pat passed due to cancer in March of 2006 at the age of 53.  She would have given her life in exchange for Pat’s.  Then sadness came again, when in March of 2011 John passed due to cancer at the age of 88.  They were just a few months shy of 61 years of marriage.  During this time, Bill completed work assignments in Russia and China.  Sophie was most pleased that his work brought him back home to Dearborn in 2007 until his retirement in 2009.  After John passed, Sophie requested to move to an assisted living facility, as she no longer wanted to do the tasks of cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry.  She thrived in that environment, participating in many activities, making new friends, and lending a helping hand or voice for those around her.  Sophie greatly looked forward to and appreciated visits and calls from family and friends.  Eventually, Bill became her daily visitor, her coach and cheerleader.  As time passed, her hearing declined and weakness set in.  After facing several hospitalizations, followed by rehabilitation stays, Sophie frequently told her family “getting old was not for the weak”.

 

 

SUMMARY

Sophie was not a frequent provider of sage advice; rather she led by example.  Through her actions, she taught others to honor family; to help and care for others; to build and maintain family ties, as well as friendships; that marriage was worth maintaining through sickness and health / happy and difficult times; to be open to new experiences; to persist through all.  Sophia lived a long life; a good life.  Her legacy will endure through her family and friends.

 

MEMORIAL SERIVICES

When Sophia passed, the COVID-19 pandemic had reached the United States.  Thankfully, she did not contract the virus and did not suffer from its physical effects.   However, sadly it did change the course of her last days, as no family members or friends could visit her in the care facilities.  State regulations prohibited customary visitations, religious services, and burial rites.  Per her arrangements, internment is at St. Hedwig’s Cemetery with her husband, father, and brother, Ed.   Memorial services will be videotaped for family and friends to “participate” via technology from their homes.  Family and friends are encouraged to “sign” the guest book and add their memories of Sophie on the Howe Peterson Funeral Home website.   The video of the memorial services will also be available there.   Arrangements are being made to plant a tree and/or install a memory bench/picnic table at Kensington Metro Park hopefully near Pat’s memorial tree and table.  Further details are available through the family for donations to those lasting legacies.    

 

In loving memory of

 

Sophia Bialkowski

 

Daughter of

Maryanna (Swierzbin)

and

Peter Zajac

 

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Married

John V. Bialkowski

on May 5, 1950

 

Married nearly 61 years

 

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Mother of

William Bialkowski

Patricia Bialkowski

(James Windak)

Carol Kuesel

(Craig Kuesel)

 

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Grandmother of

Andrew Windak

Kyle Kuesel

Karl Windak

Ryan Kuesel

 

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Aunt of

 

Walter (Hilda) Zajac

Edwin Zajac

Ann (Zajac) and (Allen) Putnum

 Alice Zajac

Michael Kotora

Marylou (Kotora) (Tom) Smith

Edward (Kathy) Kotora

Pauline (Kotora) Zezlina

Karen Kotora

Annamarie Osentoski

 David (Teri)Osentoski

Jim Osentoski

Ron (Kathy)Criscenti

Christine (Criscenti) (Mark) Sulik

 

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Preceded in death by

 

Parents

Marianna & Peter Zajac

 

Husband

 John V. Bialkowski

(6-24-22 / 3-30-11)

 

Daughter

  Patricia Bialkowski

(10-17-52 / 3-11-06)

 

Siblings

  Walter (and Elizabeth) Zajac

Frances (and Michael) Kotora

Ed Zajac

Jen (and Vincent) Osentoski

 

In-laws

John and Helen Bialkowski 

Stanley Bialkowski

Berniece Criscenti

 

Nieces

Ann (Zajac) Putnam

Mary Lou (Kotora) Smith