Barbara Valentino Baptiste

Barbara Valentino Crowley Baptiste

March 30, 1943-February 16, 2026

Barbara Valentino Crowley Baptiste passed away after a brief illness on February 16, 2026, in Port St. Lucie, Florida. She was surrounded in her final days and hours with love and faith by her two sons, their wives and her youngest of six grandchildren, six-month-old Gemma. Barbara came into this world during the height of the Second World War when born to Frank and Jeanette Valentino on March 30, 1943, in Jersey City, NJ. Without television or toys because of the war, Barbara spent her beginning years "talking" to her mom (always her confidant), and listening to her father (her hero, champion, and best friend 'till the day he died in 1995) reading books to her or telling her a story. This may have accounted for Barbara's early and lifelong passion for reading. She read over 500 books in her life, often writing or typing summaries and private reviews for most.

She was raised in a 900 sq ft. home in Bergenfield, NJ that her father (a master carpenter) built with his own hands, aided by a cousin and an uncle. She attended Thomas Jefferson grade school, which was directly across the street from her home. Her early years were filled with "Happy Days" blue collar living- summers with friends, roller skating, barbecues, and bicycle riding. Next up were the high school years where she attended and graduated in 1961 from St. Cecilia's High School in Englewood, NJ. St. Cecilia's claim to fame was that in 1947 they hired a first-time high school football coach...named Vince Lombardi. The Saints were VERY good at football, and Barbara was a cheerleader for the team all four years. Her best friends in life were her St. Cecilia classmates.

While she dreamed of college and law school, the cost of each was far out of reach for the Valentinos. So, she brushed herself off (which strength in the face of adversity would serve her well through many challenges in life) and attended the Berkley Secretarial School. She was the fastest typist in her class and the best at taking shorthand notes (which would also serve her well later in life when writing out Christmas gift lists for her children, who could never decipher the shorthand). She worked for a time in Manhattan and forever would love "The City"- but always a Jersey girl at heart.

She was married in 1966 to the most handsome and strongest man she had ever met, a young Englewood New Jersey police officer and former Marine named John Francis Crowley. About a year later, they welcomed their first son, John and in 1970 their second, Joseph. Her husband John would die on duty in a tragic accident in 1975. After the "knock on the door" that fateful Sunday morning from the police chaplain and her brother-in-law, John's younger brother Jim (also an Englewood Police Officer)- she woke her two young children and told them of their father's death. She remained strong that morning and the days that followed for her sons- and in fact for many years afterwards. Barbara was a fighter- and a survivor. And always put her children's well-being ahead of her own.

She would marry again to Lou Baptiste, a marriage that lasted nearly 25 years and produced the great blessing of her third son, Jason.

In her 60s and again single, Barbara left New Jersey (only physically, as you can take the girl out of Jersey, but never the Jersey out of the girl) and moved to Port St. Lucie to start a new life. As a true Jersey girl, she had no idea how to pump gas when she moved. Always curious and always wanting to learn, though, she enrolled in 2010 as a freshman at Indian River State College. She graduated in 2015 (at age 72) with a bachelor's degree in Human Services Summa Cum Laude- in the top 5% of her college class of nearly 1,000. She would go on to earn a Master's degree in English and to teach part-time at the college at age 75.

She would write later in life that her three sons "remained the most important part of my being." Her role model was the late Jacqueline Kennedy and Barbara would write as well that she lived by the icon's famous quote: "If my children are not all right, nothing else I do in life will much matter." Heartache came again in late 2015 when her son Joseph (a former Baltimore police officer) died suddenly at age 45. Again, she soldiered though with strength and grace in the face of adversity- and chose to live a life worthy of the sacrifice and love of so many in her life. And to find purpose and joy in every precious moment.

Healthy and vibrant until her final months, she traveled frequently to see friends and visit her family back up north. She was lucid and sharp as a tack as always and in her final hours she shared with her sons and daughters-in-law words of wisdom from a life well lived, most notably "stay close to each other always throughout your lives. Family is everything." They promised they would- and she then closed her eyes and went to sleep peacefully, entering the Lord's Kingdom the next day.

Barbara is survived by her sons John and Jason and their wives Aileen and Lauren; six grandchildren: John, Megan, Patrick, Hannah, Emily and Gemma; and two great granddaughters, Stella and Scarlett. And John, Jr's wife Amanda. Barbara is also survived by her beloved sister Michele Valentino.

The family will hold a private Roman Catholic funeral and Celebration of Life for Barbara. In lieu of flowers, please consider gifts in Barbara's memory to The Make-A-Wish Foundation of New Jersey. https://wish.org/nj