Durward R. Bean Jr.

Durward R. Bean Jr. "Woody" Born September 3rd, 1935 in Milan, New Hampshire.
Moved to Portland, Maine in 1940. Married July 4th, 1958 to Alice Mary Fortin Bean.
Raised 6 sons Francis, Stephen, Charles, Raymond, Robert and George Bean.

I didn't know my Dad real well. Not much of a talker, and limited in visible emotion. He was a family guy and a lone wolf. Woody may have seemed like a complicated person at first glance, but he actually was a simple man.

It didn't take much to make him happy, and he was not a demanding person. He lived life on his terms, for better or worse, despite what anyone thought.

Woody was a fun loving guy with an unusual sense of humor. He was spontaneous, brave and bold. He had a vocabulary of his own. People liked him and were drawn to him. He was just a regular guy, disarming in nature, steady in his gate, and gifted with a talent of being very endearing, if he wanted to.

Woody taught me how to rig a line by the light of the moon, and to surf cast from the beach on a hot summer night. He taught me how to safely use and care for firearms. How to hunt bird, rabbit and deer. He had a love of nature and the outdoors. He taught me courage and self respect. He taught me the importance of loyalty to those who are loyal.

Woody Bean was just like me, I suppose. A man with both good and bad quality's who tried to do the best he could with what he had. I will hang onto the memories of all that was good in him, and accept, and let go of all else.

There was a time when I felt that all my difficulties in life were due to the things he did that hurt me, and him not doing certain things to help me. I told him so. I went 3 years not seeing or speaking to him.

During that time period I made a pivot in my life that afforded a new perspective. I learned that all my difficulties in life were of my own making, and that Woody Bean was just a person long before he picked up the title of father. He was a product of all his own lived experience, as well as all the things he had done, and those things he had left undone.

If I sought to repair the damage that I had caused, I would have to forgive him entirely for any harm done to me. Instead of judging what kind of a father he was, I needed to take a hard look at what kind of a son I was. The answer was clear, and not good.

From then until now I tried to fix what I had broken. I did this by accepting him just as he was, not as I would have him, nor would I try to change him. I would expect nothing from him in return. Neither forgiveness, love, respect or thanks. I would treat him as I would like to be treated. Things got better between us, but there was still a barrier.

In the past 3 three years since my wife Debbie and I moved him in with us, he was able to fully forgive me. Not as a result of a sought after goal, rather the product of me living life by the golden rule, and the softening of his heart. Our restored relationship as father and son, the bond between us, and the healing that came, is absolutely priceless.

As I take him to the finish line, and put him to rest with the love of his life, Alice, I trust that he will be in the hands of our Heavenly Father, where I shall see him again in the afterlife. I will stay grateful for our time together and the gift of freedom.