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Megan Smith
April 21, 2025
Isaac,
My Beeby. My forever love, my other half, my best friend. To the only one who will ever fully understand me and all of my eccentricities - the one who was so inquisitive, so incredibly astute, so profoundly gentle and empathetic - every fiber of my being aches with your absence.
This last year has been inconceivably difficult. 2024 was essentially just a trance-like state for me. But now, I´m truly trying. Not because it´s gotten easier. Because I know that you wouldn´t want to see me, your family, any of those you loved struggling. And maybe if you weren´t so wonderful it would be a little bit easier. Everything I´m doing now to further my life, I do it with your love and support. Knowing that somehow, somewhere, you´re not allowing me to give up. I swear, I´ll make you proud, and then some.
I still struggle to process every developmental stage we hit together and how that made our personalities so in tune with one another. We loved the same things (you´re the only person I know that loved school as much - if not more - than me; everyone thought we were such dorks for talking about it for hours straight, lol)... we complained about the same things, we couldn´t stand the same things. So much of you has been a part of me for so long and always will be.
It hurts so much that after nearly six years apart, we had found our way back to one another - only for me to lose you for good. But I´ll always be grateful for the fact that I got to cuddle with you one last night... that I got to hold your hand and kiss you, and tell you how much I and your entire family loved you. And that you heard.
I couldn´t forget you no matter how hard I tried. If I didn´t during the six years we were apart, I never will. They just don´t make them like you. I remember being on the UCF campus and still wasn´t sure if I saw you as a friend or more. Then when you asked to see my fingers, I thought it was because you were going to hold my hand (nope, you were just marveling at how long and skinny my fingers were). Which was utterly bizarre to me at first, until you told me you were a pianist.
That´s when I thought "okay, I think I love this guy." When you took me to the music room on campus and played Rachmaninov´s Piano Concerto #3 - it might have been #2, but I know it was the one that was 45 minutes long. You played it one more time at my house in Titusville and it took my breath away. I used to hate when you had all of those gigs, lol... because the best paying ones were always on NYE or Valentine´s Day. Still, it´s what you loved and I´d never have taken that from you. I took a lot of those pics - from the wine bar, from Sebastian... I wish I had more videos, though (although being a perfectionist musician, I think you had banned me from it mostly, haha).
I also remember how touching it was when my mom first came over to your house on Central Park Blvd. with me to meet your parents and you were working on a puzzle with your mom at the dining room table. It was just so refreshing to see someone that age (18!) who was secure in enough in who they were that they did what made them happy - instead of caring what others thought (like if a more immature girl had found it not cool to hang out with your parents - you couldn't have cared less). I loved that about you. It's one of the reasons I thought you were in a fraternity the first few times I saw you - you just walked with the air of someone so sure of himself. I know you thought it was hilarious and so not you, but in the sense that you really were that carefree and comfortable with who you were, it certainly was true.
Thank you for all of the beautiful years and happiness you gave me. Yes, we had some struggles, but the most important thing was to that we always overcame it all in the end. I´m so grateful to you, to have had my first boyfriend be someone who genuinely loved me and never allowed me to doubt myself in any regard. It´s rare you find someone like that who only wants to bring out the best in you, but watching old videos of us rehearsing songs or just goofing around just really shows that it didn´t matter how much time passed, we always loved one another.
And now, and next year, and five, ten, twenty years from now... I will just love you more. From the bottom of my heart, I´m so thankful for you. I know this will never be easy but I hope with time, the memories will make me smile more, and cry less. I wish we´d gotten to take that picture together but older ones will have to suffice (what boyfriend just sends their girlfriend a picture of a beautiful rainbow "just because?" ... only you, it seems). I know the ring was just a "placeholder" but ... DY was our brand, and I´m just grateful to have it.
I love you. My beautiful, shaggy, big-brown eyed Beebs.
(I messed up on the first post on here, I tried to post a video but it was only a thumbnail!) :(
Kathy Smith
April 21, 2025
It´s still difficult for me to grasp that today will be a year since we lost Isaac. Even as I write this, I still can´t believe he´s gone. He was and always will be the son I never had. I was so happy when he and Megan reconnected in early 2023, for of all things, College Algebra!
I had been looking forward to spending time with him again, as I had for so many years before. I always enjoyed the many, meaningful conversations we had. I couldn´t have asked for a better companion for Megan; both of them being so witty, intelligent, and caring. Always challenging the other to do better.
I was devastated the day I heard the news. The fact that I would never get to hear his wonderful and silly laugh again, to reintroduce him to Odin, or to take him and Megan out to celebrate their respective academic achievements...it was all so unimaginable.
Isaac was such a gifted, unique person and I will miss him always.
Daytona State College Academic Support Center
August 8, 2024
Isaac the Learning Specialist
Stephanie Bowen
August 1, 2024
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