Jerry Morgan Spence

JERRY MORGAN SPENCE
1936-2018

Remembering Jerry, one will likely recall a direct gaze, firm handshake, and deeply resonant speaking voice. Intensely solitary, Jerry nonetheless drew others to himself especially children and pets; he was a Pied Piper of sorts, saving his affection and chuckles for little ones. A quiet man, when he did speak, his listeners hung on each baritone-voiced word. If fortunate, one may have glimpsed his crinkled eyes and gap-toothed grin.

On July 16, 1936, Jerry Morgan Spence was the firstborn to Joseph Almarine Spence and Nettie Jo (House) in Texarkana, Texas. Three years later, his sister Gayle "Gay" Mayfield Spence (Bill Hays) joined the family, and again, three years later, their family was complete with the arrival of his brother Larry Roleke Spence (Ann Davies). The Spence children were raised in part by devoted aunts, uncles and grandparents.

Jerry grew up mostly on the Arkansas side of Texarkana (a point that seemed to matter to him), excelling in academics and sports. Intelligent, charismatic, and a natural leader, he served as president of his high school senior class. His closest friends in this small town were similarly gifted and ambitious. The close-knit group of friends, Jim Hawkins (Nell), Bobby Lott (Peggy), and Jane Hinshaw (Elton), remained connected throughout their lives, taking turns hosting what they termed "mini high school reunions" in different cities across the country.

After high school graduation and a season playing minor league baseball with the Texarkana Razorbacks, Jerry was accepted by Southern Methodist University (SMU) in Dallas, Texas, into their engineering cooperative program. He alternated six weeks of school and work experience, graduating with a mechanical engineering degree in 1959. After graduating, Jerry's first job was engineering drafting and design of heavy machinery with Damco, a former co-op employer. He simultaneously returned to SMU to complete a second degree in Industrial Engineering.

Jerry met his future wife Nancy Long at the wedding of one of his close high school friends. He would later tease her, saying he admired her trim ankles. Jerry and Nancy married in 1960, in a double wedding with her sister Jan and Bill Dodd. The ceremony at Dallas' Cliff Temple Baptist Church was officiated by Dr. Wallace Bassett who had married Nancy and Jan's parents, Charles and Bea Long, 28 years prior.

During their first year of marriage, Jerry and Nancy lived in Dallas, residing in the house built by Nancy's grandfather before his untimely death. Nancy contracted the mumps her first year working as a speech therapist in Arlington, Texas schools. The young couple worried, albeit groundlessly, that Jerry would also come down with them and that they might not be able to have children. Jerry cooked Nancy comfort food - fried chicken and mashed potatoes - as she convalesced.

In the summer of 1961, Jerry joined the Air Force, becoming a 2nd Lieutenant assigned to Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi. In Biloxi, Jerry and Nancy's two children were born, daughter Suzanne "Suzy" Lee Spence (Bob Dugas) and son Steven Anderson Spence (Ginny Bonner).

Leaving the Air Force in 1965, Jerry returned to Dallas where he began his career with IBM. Initially, he worked as a systems engineer on an extended project with Texas Instruments. During these years, Jerry could be seen relaxing with a mug of beer nearby and a pipe gripped between his teeth, picking out golden-oldie tunes on his banjo. Sailing on White Rock Lake, camping, and canoeing were favorite pastimes.

Caught up in the whirlwind of the U.S.'s newfound fascination with soccer and as an avid fan of the Dallas Tornados, Jerry strongly supported and coached youth soccer. He coached his son Steve's teams and a few years later, recruited Steve as his assistant coach. Jerry also dabbled in collecting classic cars and musical instruments, especially tenor banjos.

Career advancement with IBM spurred a 1972 move to southeast Florida. Jerry's professional travel took him worldwide, and he later made weekly trips to New York. When home, he continued community activities such as forming youth soccer teams and fields in Delray Beach, leading a Cub Scout pack and assisting with youth swim teams. He continued to enjoy boating and sailing in the Florida sunshine.

Jerry detoured north from Delray Beach in 1975, accepting an assignment with IBM in Cleveland, Ohio to try his hand at sales. He did well and was chosen to attend the elite IBM Golden Circle in Mexico City. Returning to Florida in 1978 and back in IBM's Boca Raton offices, his work focus evolved into planning and development. He participated in developing and introducing IBM's first personal computer a tremendous innovation in the world of technology. Traveling broadly, his passport collected stamps from England, France, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Denmark, the Netherlands, Columbia, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Spain, New Zealand, and Australia.

Demands of the workplace, compounded by Jerry's own driven nature and poor choices took a toll on his health. His overuse of alcohol spiraled into addiction. These were difficult years for Jerry and those who cared about him. Eventually, he faced his addiction to alcohol resolutely and determined to take action. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) precepts offered the path to sobriety and the fellowship of people who understood. Jerry became sober in 1981 at age 45. He would endure a handful of painful lapses over the next decades, but AA would help him find his way back again. Jerry remained committed to the AA message and built lasting friendships with fellow members. Overeaters Anonymous was also a lifeline for a time. He actively supported 12-Step work for its encouragement and assistance to others.

In 1987, at age 50, Jerry accepted IBM's generous early retirement package. An "all or nothing person," he embarked on a large-scale renovation of his and Nancy's lovely Florida home and then threw himself into the study of humanities, earnestly pursuing reading and writings in psychology, religion, education and languages. Philosophical readings became a mainstay. In addition, he honed his southern cooking skills with "The Frugal Gourmet." The bent of his engineering mind equipped him to repair just about anything, and his arrival at a family member's or friend's home with a toolbox in hand was a welcome sight. He was always looking for efficiencies and would joke that his approach of finding the fewest possible steps was simply "laziness".

As time passed, the damage to his health from over-doing just about everything, including working, eating, drinking, and his prior smoking caught up to him shortly after retirement with serious but, thankfully, survivable cardiac issues. As with his commitment to sobriety, he would continue to fight for his heart health in the coming years.

In the early 1990s, Jerry set out in search of his personal ideal: a small southern town with a local college nearby, which he found and made his home in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. His journey led to separation and eventually divorce from Nancy after 38 years. They remained friends, lovingly connected for the rest of his life. For years, each July 1st was remembered with a "Happy Un-anniversary" call between the two. Holidays and family life events would bring them together, with others marveling at their amicable ease.

In 1998 in Hattiesburg, Jerry began a new life chapter and married Mary Brooks. Mary and he enjoyed the area's natural beauty, adopted pets, traveled, and built friendships. Jerry pursued his passion for photographing nature. Yet his restlessness once again rose to the surface. When their marriage ended in 2001, Jerry relocated to another small town with a college, San Marcos, Texas, not too far (and, as was his preference, not too near) his daughter's home.

Finding a good match for his personality and interests in nearby Austin, Texas, Jerry met, instantly connected with, and quickly married Barbara Vervenne in 2004. Typically stoic, Jerry was uncharacteristically head over heels for Barbara. His family and friends celebrated with him, but in 2006 he yearned again for solitude.

Married to and loved by three wonderful women, relocations and new relationships didn't alter Jerry's solitary nature and need to be unencumbered to live on his own terms. Yet, with an inherent good nature and sense of fairness, he maintained friendships with his former wives even as the marriages ended.

Jerry settled into living contentedly alone with his pets in south Austin, enjoying brief (the briefer the better) family visits and faithfully attending AA meetings and supporting its members. As a grandfather, he chose his own moniker "Grumps," which he felt, with tongue firmly in cheek, was more fitting than the traditional Gramps. Though not demonstrative, he sincerely enjoyed the bright laughter and good cheer of his three grandchildren, Nancy Lee Daly (Noah Schubert), Jenna Grace Dugas and Danny Morgan Bonner-Spence.

In 2012, memory issues surfaced and Jerry's physical infirmities progressed. In 2013, he joined households with his daughter Suzy and her family. They lived together first in California, then two years later returned to Texas, settling in San Antonio. Considering his health history, Jerry remained relatively active and well. He sought to be helpful, and was enjoyed and appreciated by family and friends. He had a gentle spirit and faced each new physical or memory challenge with humility, humor, and grace. He was thoughtful and considerate, and his presence was a joy. His lifelong restlessness seemed to be replaced with peace.

After decades seeking achievements across many arenas, including intellectual pursuits (his high IQ had garnered a Mensa membership), education, sports, and career success, Jerry gained contentment in a simple, quiet life, in a way coming full circle to his small-town Texas/Arkansas roots. He explained that his approach to life was to follow the Golden Rule: to treat others as he would like to be treated.

Throughout his life, Jerry's closest companions were often his pet dogs and cats and he had several very special ones over the years. One little fellow, Gus, brightened his life for a dozen years before passing in April, two months before his beloved master.

On June 10, 2018, a month before his 82nd birthday, ever efficient, Jerry Morgan Spence passed quietly at the home of his daughter in San Antonio, Texas.

Surviving relatives (many named above) include nieces and nephews and their families: Russell Hays, Jennifer Huckabay (Bryant) and family; Bill Dodd, Carolyn Welch (Tom) and family, Mike Spence (Melinda) and family, Scott Spence, Georgia Stephenson (Paul) and family; plus other extended relatives, including his fellow AA members, whom Jerry considered family.

At Jerry's request, his immediate family scattered his ashes privately in a wooded area. We are profoundly grateful for each person who cared about Jerry and touched his life along the way. Thank you!