Thomas J. "Tom" Cross

Thomas J. "Tom" Cross obituary, Stamford, CT

Thomas J. "Tom" Cross

Thomas Cross Obituary

Obituary published on Legacy.com by Connell, Dow & Deysenroth Funeral Home on Feb. 5, 2026.
Thomas J. Cross

1943 - 2025

STAMFORD – On May 25, 2025, Thomas J. Cross from Stamford, age 81, left this world to create his eternal garden in our heavenly realm.

Tom was born to Joseph and Anna Cross in South Amboy, New Jersey, in 1943. He grew up loving to hunt and fish nearby. His father taught him to plant a garden and reap the harvest that would be redeemed by hard work. Later in life Tom grew quite passionate in his love of gardening and it showed through the lovely gardens that he created. Tom told stories of clam digging and fishing in the nearby waters in New Jersey. He loved it, and he would fish the streams for trout later when he moved to New York. His love for the outdoors also led to hunting. With these hobbies, he would incorporate produce or the catch of the day into culinary delights as a gifted home chef. Tom loved to share his skills serving redolent and savory dishes every day. His skills showed by entertaining often, sharing what he had caught, hunted or foraged that day. He can be remembered by his fine wine, fine food and fun times.

Tom's talent didn't stop there. He also loved to photograph his beloved flowers and captured them in beautiful snapshots, carefully framed and perched on the walls of his home gallery.

He would tell the stories of when he was a teenager, he would sneak to NYC. Too young to get into the clubs, he would listen to the din of jazz music making its way to his ears and forming a love that would last his lifetime. A love of jazz greats like Miles Davis and John Coltrane would play as he fixed his favorite gourmet dishes for family and friends. His ardent love of music would often turn into an upbeat tempo and the night might have left you dancing into the wee hours of the night.

Tom loved the sounds of nature as well. He brought those sounds inside by creating an indoor aviary, full of exotic birds… finches, parakeets, love birds, doves and more… the house wasn't quiet until the lights were out.

He attended school at St. Mary's High school then went on to the Navy. Having served, he then went on to become a junior chemist at Bristol and Merck. His love for music didn't wane, though, and he worked at Record Town and had his own record store in a college town in New York. He loved to meet the college kids and their share taste in music. Tom eventually worked as a fence installer then started his own business, Custom Fence, which he owned for many years until he retired.

Thomas is predeceased by his parents. Survivors include his sisters, Rita (Ben) Gruda and Carol (Les) Wilson. Tom's children from his first marriage to Margaret; Tom (Stephanie), Scott (Darcy) and Sandra (JP) Maritz. Also, Tija Cross, his loving second wife to which he was married to for 20 years. He is also survived by his beloved little Westie, Willie. Tom leaves behind grandchildren and great grandchildren.

There will be no visiting hours or service. Please remember Tom's slight smile and raise a glass of port in his memory.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

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