Thomas Jay Szelest

Thomas Jay Szelest, 79, of Chesapeake, Virginia, passed away peacefully on September 4, 2025, surrounded by the love of his family.
Born on April 8, 1946, in Oakland, California, Tom was the beloved son of Ila "Janet" Voris and Thaddaus Joseph Szelest. A devoted husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend, Tom lived a life defined by resilience, generosity, and quiet strength.
He is survived by his loving wife of 49 years, Fayeelaine Haddaway, who was his constant companion and source of strength. He also leaves behind his cherished son, Tim Phelps, and his wife, Wendy, along with their children, Tanner and Tessa Phelps; and his devoted daughter, Tonya Binion, and her husband, Lloyd, with her children, Olivia Tucker and Elizabeth Ulfers. He is further survived by his sister, Barbara Starnes, and her husband, David, and their children, Deanna and Thomas Jay "TJ".
Tom was preceded in death by his parents, "Janet" and Thaddaus Szelest, and his grandmother, Blanche Voris, whom he honored with a life well lived.
After graduating from Old Dominion University in 1973 with a degree in civil engineering, Tom dedicated 37 years to the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. His career was marked by integrity, innovation, and excellence, culminating in the prestigious Distinguished Civilian Service Award for his contributions.
Despite being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at just seven years old, Tom never let the condition define or limit him. His perseverance and dedication to health and science were recognized by the Joslin Diabetes Center, which honored him as one of the longest-living individuals with type 1 diabetes-a testament to his strength and determination.
Tom's life outside of work was filled with purpose and passion. He found joy in the simple pleasures-golfing, bowling, camping, fishing aboard the Bar-Jan, and cheering for ODU football. He loved square dancing, skeet shooting, the Bears, and most of all, spending quality time with his family and friends.
His commitment to community was unwavering. Tom volunteered with the Citizens Academy Alumni Association for the Chesapeake Police Department, served as Treasurer for the Tidewater Senior Golfers Association, and gave generously of his time at The Retreat at Greenbrier, where he and Fayeelaine made their home.
Tom will be remembered for his wisdom, enduring smile :), strong hugs, and firm handshake. His was a life of quiet service, love, and perseverance-a life that deeply touched everyone fortunate enough to know him.
He will be missed beyond measure and remembered with profound love.
The family asks that memorial contributions be made to The American Diabetes Association or the American Cancer Society in Tom's name.
Cremation and Funeral Services of Tidewater is assisting Tom's family with the arrangements. To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Thomas, please visit our floral store.