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Wayne Lynum Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Wayne Lynum
Perry Lynum
November 25, 2010
Wayne Lynum
When you talk about someone’s life there are two ways to do this. First is to tell the chronology of that person. The second is to tell who they were by what they accomplished, and how they impacted the lives around them. Regarding the latter, I believe that a short story/example will give my dad’s memoir more validity.
My dad is Wayne Eugene Lynum. He was born on Feb. 8th, 1937. He was the 7th of 11 children, born to Elmer and Bertha Lynum, of Wildwood Township in rural Spring Valley, Wisconsin. He has been preceded in death by his parents, and older siblings: Elaine (Bee), Delores, John, and Loretta. He has surviving older siblings, Palmer and Bob, and younger siblings, Wanda (dad’s twin sister), Gail, Larry and Steve.
He was 73 years old, which is the average life expectancy of a male in the U.S. He would be the first to say that he was lucky, and that it’s much more difficult to lose a loved one in their 20’s like my cousins Brian Holle, and Jason Lynum. In fact, my father almost drowned at the age of 3. He fell into the water tank that was used for the cows on their farm. Dad’s older brother, John pulled him out and resuscitated him. My dad told me that he actually remembers seeing a light, and having the peaceful feeling. I told him that I read that those that this happens to usually display a higher level of intelligence…and are less patient with others. He agreed with the first part.
Growing up, he would get up and chop wood for the Wildwood school. I know that my dad enjoyed growing up on a farm. When the chores were done, he liked to go up in the woods and build a campfire. He had an appreciation of nature.
He also loved sports. He played football in high school. I think his favorite sport was baseball, but his father needed him on the farm to help with the chores.
What he accomplished and who he was:
My father graduated from Spring Valley High School in 1955. The Lynum’s, like the Traynor’s of Spring Valley, were dairy farmers. Their lifestyle was based on getting up at the crack of dawn, and putting in a hard day of work. This lifestyle carried over in my dad’s life after he graduated from high school. He joined the U.S. Army. This was during a time, when either you serve your country now, or wait to be drafted. He chose the first option.
After boot camp in Arkansas, and being stationed in Colorado, Dad was next stationed in Germany. Dad’s main job for a while was to be a driver for a nearly retired, high-ranking officer around Germany. This officer would tell my dad, “Lynum, we’re going on a reconnaissance mission today (Scope out the enemy). “ What this actually meant was dad would drive this officer around the countryside, only to have the officer requested a stop at one of the local bars. My dad waited in the Jeep, and after a few hours, this officer would return to the jeep, in a much more relaxed state of mind. My dad would take them both back to base camp. My dad was his driver for a longer period than anyone else. Also, he was obeying a direct order. From the stories, learned what WWII was really like. You see, this officer was wounded during the war, and had 3 or 4 bullet holes in his body, that went from one shoulder, down to his hip area. This officer had seen the hells of war and my dad probably felt that this man already served his country, and deserved a break. He also knew the effects of alcohol, from what he witnessed in his life. While in Germany my grand parents farmhouse burnt down.
This next part comes from my aunt Karen:
When Wayne was stationed in Germany, thus began a two-year heated correspondence between the Rita and Wayne. I know that I and maybe a sister or two often sneaked a peek at those little blue air letters so full of love. What an adventure for a Spring Valley farm girl to have her soldier in Germany.
Wayne was around a lot after he returned, and he’d take Rita back and forth to the Cities where she was working and sharing an apartment with Sis. Sometime in there, they became lovers and baby Todd was conceived. There were complications between Wayne and Dad (Grandpa Traynor) about religion. Wayne was Protestant, and Grandpa Traynor was Catholic. So it wasn’t till mid-May, 1959; six weeks after Dad (Grandpa Traynor)died, that they finally got married. Todd was born the next day.
Obviously this was a small wedding. And by 1964, Perry, Kathy and Lisa were born. There were obvious obstacles being so young, and not only having a child immediately, but having kids so close together in age. But both of my parents made it work. They knew how to work hard, but they also had to live on faith as well.
In 1964, Dad was working for the MTC bus company. It was standard that the driver would work a 4-hour shift in the a.m., and the same during the p.m. to accommodate the rush hour Mpls./St. Paul traffic. Dad would drive through the all hours of the night, as well as day. Thus, he met people from all walks of life. The nightly street walkers, would get picked up by the police only to be turned out walking the streets within a couple of hours and they would ride my dad’s bus. He was always decent as he was to anyone else. Why ? How can you be a witness of Christ and avoid the ugliness of life? This parallels the story where a woman was brought to Jesus and the church leaders wanted to punish her by death. Jesus said “Let you who is without sin cast the first stone.” My dad tried not to throw any stones of judgement at anyone and he did not sacrifice his own standards of behavior.
Dad also he knew he could use some intervention from God. One particular winter day, dad was finishing his bus route. On his way home for his break, he hit some ice and side swiped a parked car. There was very little damage, but he had to report the accident. Protocol for the bus company usually meant that the driver would be suspended for a day or two. Two weeks prior to this, a friend of mom's husband, encouraged dad to fill out an application for 3M and dad had done this.
So, getting back to the accident, after dad stopped by home, and after he hung up the phone talking to the MTC, the phone rang immediately, and it was 3M. The guy calling from 3M asked dad "When can you start work?" Dad answered "Today".
Dad hung up the phone, and called the MTC back. He told them that he is quitting. They told dad, "We weren't going to suspend you." Dad's reply was "Bull Crap", and Dad went on to work for 3M for that afternoon…. and the next 34 years. My dad worked 60 hours/week for the majority of those 34 years. Yet, he was attended all of his kids sports events and activities. The end result was that my parents were able to move to Afton in 1965.
The 1965 winter proved to be one of the coldest, and snowiest on record and, our home had no garage. So, dad
built a wall of snow that looked like a small igloo. It was layered, and rather than going straight up and down, he created it with a curvature, that literally looked like a blanket over the car. It looked like an igloo. In the summer of 66’ dad did build t his garage. He did this in his “spare time” . The only thing he did not do was pour the concrete. And, my grandpa Lynum, who was an excellent carpenter, gave it his approval.
In 1966, my parents began attending church at St. Peter’s Lutheran and this became a third family. Dad served in many different roles including: Sunday School teacher, Board of elder’s, serving on the church council. Dad spoke up on the behalf a confirmation student who wasn’t going to be confirmed , because, his parents did not attend church. The end result was that Pastor Kanning confirmed Corey, and thanked dad for speaking up.
Dad also had to do a little crowd control for Sunday School. His 6th grade class was getting antsy before the Christmas Program at the old church. One of the student’s noticed Clark Peterson’s haircut, and Clark’s echoed his response for the congregation to hear “Yeah, didn’t he do a horse crap job!” My dad always laughed when he told this story.
During this same time period, (Christmas Break of either 1966) our family spent most of our Christmas school break at my Grandpa Lynum’s farm and my uncles Larry and Steve were in high school. It was a very sad and stressful time for them. My Grandma Lynum had passed away. And this was stressful, because Grandpa, Larry and Steve had a dairy farm with, over 35 cows to be milked twice daily. Grandpa Lynum was dying on the inside from losing his mate of over 40 years. At times, Grandpa struggled just getting through the day, due to his loneliness. In the mean time, Larry and Steve were teenagers, and there teenage lives were far different than most kids today. But these two young men really took the initiative to keep this farm going, but they needed help.
My dad stepped in during this time and helped milk the cows. This may not have sounded like a lot, but there’s more. After the milking in the a.m., dad went to work for 3M in St. Paul, which was 45 miles away where he would work a 12 hour day, only to return in the evening to go back and milk with Larry and Steve.
What I remember most about my mother was how hard she worked, preparing meals, washing clothes, for everyone. It was a rough time, but they pulled together. Gail, Palmer, Bob, and John’s families stepped in, and helped out a lot. This was normal.
Over the next couple for years, my aunt Maureen, and my uncle Larry lived briefly at my parent’s house. What I remember most about Maureen was her blue VW Bug, and Larry’s black Mercury Comet. My daughter would love the slug bug, but that 1967 Comet was tight! That was, until my dad accidently backed into it.
Because my dad was a blue-collar factory worker, some people may have wondered if he would have enjoyed bowling with Archie Bunker? Because he was a blue-collar factory worker he was stereotyped. For example when he saw the anti- Vietnam War protesters on the television he would say “look at those long-haired pukes.” Why was he so irritated? When you consider the experience of his C.O. in Germany, as well as what his older brother, Palmer in the Korean War, he was sick of the ill treatment that our soldiers received by a segment of the public as they returned, and often that treatment came from the protesters.
I think the times my dad enjoyed most were the trips we took. We did the “3 sisters tour”, and my mom’s sisters, Maureen, Karen and Teresa, and my dad’s sister Loretta their families made this a great time with their generosity. I know that my dad loved seeing the U.S., and he especially loved the Ontario/Upstate New York and New England. I also remember dad and uncle Bob’s family fishing in northern Wisconsin, as well as staying with Delores’ family during the two trips to California.
Also, they say that there is a special bond between twins, and I think that this was true for my dad and Wanda. I know that, like everyone else here today, we may have our differences and struggles with each other, but they will always have a special bond.
Traveling with children, and teenagers can be trying. My dad did the driving, and my mom would pass out the sandwiches. As you can imagine, dad, we would get on my each other’s and my parent’s nerves from time to time. My dad would nip our behavior in the bud…right now. But, when bigger issues arose later, I remember my dad listening to us which I appreciated .
During the 80’s dad also helped all four of his children move in and out of college, as well as into new places of residency. He did it without complaining, and kept a good sense of humor. I remember my parents and Lisa visiting me in Lake City, and Lisa felt sorry that I had ratty furniture. Dad’s response was “Cripes.. this is a Ethan Allen showroom compared to Todd’s place.” Dad like would occasionally exaggerate. I remember my dad telling Richard Decker that I could see the Mississippi River from my place in Lake City. I said “Yeah, if you are sitting on the toilet and had a pair of binoculars.
By the now, my parents were empty nesters. Yet, dad and mom were a vital part of this church community. In the early 1990’s St. Peter’s , had to make a very important decision regarding the future of their church. This church building has been around since 1925, and although a beautiful building, it was outdated, and a decision had to be made regarding keeping the old building, or replacing it with a brand new one that would be added onto the Parish Hall.? This congregation has shown that it makes very sound, astute, and practical financial decisions. Therefore, any proposal would need to demonstrate very detailed information that offered both pros and cons. My dad and Steve Heilman did much of the research, which included visiting other newer churches, contacting contractors, and obtaining estimates, They presented their case at a church meeting. Based on this research, this congregation voted to build where you are currently sitting.
Also during the 90’s my parents life was slowing down, but they liked to keep busy. This next story comes form my aunt Karen:
Although they had a rough start, there couldn’t have been a more devoted husband and father in the world than Wayne Lynum and what a brother-in-law and son-in-law, always willing to help Mother with chores, always willing to pick us up at the airport or take us back.
That makes me recall a couple of incidents, which do not fit chronologically here, but certainly fit the theme. One day after Jim and Wayne were both retired, they were pruning Mother’s maple tree south of the house, not far from where the old toilet used to be. Wayne was on the ladder with the chainsaw, and he slipped. He was badly cut and had to be rushed to the doctor. After that Mother wouldn’t even let him bring the chainsaw onto her property, lest something terrible happen to him again.
So a few years later, when John and I were home, John wanted to trim the shrubbery that now blocked the entry to the pasture. So I phoned Wayne and asked if he could bring his chainsaw down. He said, “Well, your mom won’t let me bring it onto the property, so I’ll stick it in the mailbox.” I think he did just that.
The other moment involves the time Wayne met me at the airport the day after Mother’s Day in ’03. Toronto was suffering from the SARS epidemic, and although I wasn’t at risk to get it or spread the virus, apparently the family had been talking about it when they ate out the day before. So when I was walking towards the meeting place with Wayne, I saw him and waved, but he deked into a washroom. When he came out he was wearing a sanitary face mask—so he couldn’t get my SARS germs, apparently. We both nearly wet ourselves laughing.
A year later, when Mother was dying, I flew home, not knowing whether she’d be alive or dead when I arrived. I worried about it all the way, and the flight which had always been on time in the past, was delayed a little. When I walked down the steps to the baggage area, Wayne was waiting at the bottom of the steps, and I just fell into his arms bawling, “Is she still alive?”
“Oh, yeah, she’s alive. Don’t worry. You’ll get to see her again.” I was just so grateful.
*
Wayne was the family member who took Jim to see a specialist the day Jim was diagnosed with leukemia. He was already so weak, but he drove to Rita and Wayne’s and then Wayne took him to the doctor. The doctor insisted that Jim be admitted to United that very afternoon, so Wayne took care of that. Rita was very ill with a contagious disease and couldn’t go near Jim at first. That began Wayne’s faithful visits to Jim, almost every day of his two months in hospital. No one else showed his constancy, and Wayne did it out of pure generosity and love.
When I came to visit Jim in Jan., Wayne took me to visit Jim everyday. He’d drop me at the hospital and come back later in the day to pick me up. Nothing was too much to ask.
As a nice bit of unwinding after those sad, stressful visits, Wayne, Rita and I would have a drink or two and put together a puzzle. I didn’t realize they were keen puzzlers too. It was a great way to visit and work on a join project.
When I came back in March to help Jim out at home for a week, Wayne and Rita met me and we stopped first for lunch in Hastings at a place that had Jim’s Steak as one of the entrees on the menu. We all got a kick out of that. There was a terrible snowstorm on Thursday when I supposed to go home, and the airport closed. The next day things were flying, so Wayne drove through all that snow to pick me up and take me to the airport.
I know Wayne and Rita visited Jim a lot in those last couple of weeks of his life.
Over the past 19 years, my parents have had a newfound purpose, and that is being grandparents. Their grandchildren are: Abby, Paige, Matt, Mariah, Megan, Phillip, David, Sophia and Grace . This is my time to challenge them to look at what my dad’s life meant to you, and determine how you will use what you’ve learned to benefit others. The same holds true for all of us.
They have loved watching their kids grow, and have greatly appreciated Kathy hosting most of the family functions. Lisa and Todd’s families open their homes to my parents for overnight visits. I also know that Susan and I enjoyed the previous two Christmas celebrations at our home as well.
This year, my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. It was a fitting to have a celebration of 50 years together after the life we’ve had. We, as a family celebrated this on August 14th with a limousine ride, through Kathy and Lisa’s generosity, to the Forepaughs in St. Paul.
My parents have been blessed with a very supportive church family here at St. Peter’s. Your kindness, and outpouring has far exceeded what any of us could’ve ever imagined. We were, and are very fortunate to be a part of this congregation. Also, my parents have supportive neighbors, especially Pete and Eloise Lind, Jack and Lois Bishop, and Tommy and Lisa Folz.
In closing, each one of us has to decide how another person impacts our own life. There are many characteristics that my dad had, that I hope I carry forward. That would be my greatest gift to him.
Amy (Lynum) Benson
October 11, 2010
Uncle Wayne was a dear man and my God Father. He was always happy to see you. I have very fond memories of him and how much fun and joy he brought to everyone around him. He will be greatly missed and his smile will never be forgotten. Aunt Rita, Kathy, Lisa, Todd and Perry, may you all find strength in the memories.
October 9, 2010
Wayne was the best brother-in-law I can imagine. From the day he married Rita and for over 50 years, he was always helpful and fun to everyone in the Traynor family. He was so good to his mother-in-law and all of Rita's brothers and sisters. We will all miss him terribly. Maureen & Tom Crosset
Becky Erickson
October 7, 2010
I am honored to have been a niece to Wayne Lynum. My memories of him will always bring a smile to my face and a warmness to my heart. From making Saturday morning "Daddy's Special" for us girls, to the twinkle in his eye when he would tease, he knew how to make people feel special and cared for. I believe with all my heart that God has prepared a very special place just for him.
Dorene Larson
October 7, 2010
I remember living across the street from Kathy and seeing Wayne's pickup in the driveway. Often there would be games with his grandkids and neighborhood extras while Kathy ran errands. I am not sure who had more fun -- grandpa or kids! I remember when they would together carve their names in pumpkins. As the pumpkins grew, so did their names. Praying for wonderful memories and God's grace to bring peace during this difficult time saying goodbye to a wonderful person.
Brenda (Lynum) Hoffman
October 6, 2010
Uncle Wayne was a kind and loving man who will be greatly missed. He made a difference in my life, for which I am very thankful. My heart and prayers go now to Aunt Rita, Todd, Perry, Kathy, Lisa, and their families.
Brenda (Lynum) Hoffman
October 6, 2010
Uncle Wayne was a kind and loving man who will be greatly missed. He made a difference in my life, and for that I am thankful. My heart and prayers go now to Aunt Rita, Todd, Perry, Kathy, Lisa, and their families.
Holly Hatten
October 6, 2010
Wayne will be missed. What a fantastic smile and such a caring personality. Wayne and I would wave at each other when he passed by on the tractor at Buell's. God bless
Papa,Paige,Phil,and Mariah.
Mariah Lynum
October 6, 2010
Susan Farago
October 6, 2010
I am very sad to hear about "Mr. Lynum". All us kids grew up in the Richerts Acres neighborhood in Afton and Mr. Lynum was always so funny, caring, and generous. If we were collecting newspapers for the Lake Elmo Elementary paper drive, he would help us load them up. If we were having a lemonade stand, he would buy a glass from us after he got done mowing the lawn. And one of my favorite memories of Mr. Lynum is when he actually carried me home after I fell off my bike (for the bazillionth time). I am now 40 years old but these and many other memories of Mr. Lynum will always be with me.
My heart, thoughts, and love go out to the entire Lynum family. We should all be so fortunate to have Wayne Lynum touch our lives.
Michael Lynum
October 6, 2010
Wayne was a dear man and will be missed. He is not only my uncle but also my God Father. When I think of Wayne, I think of the nice big smile he had and the heart filled laugh. He enjoyed life and was not afraid to let it show.
I remember as a kid, every year for my birthday i would receive a present from Wayne and Rita with a nice card in it. A lot of times it was a bag of snack candy bars and a couple of hot wheel cars. To this day I still will buy a couple hot wheel cars a year and each time i think of Wayne and Rita's gift to me.
My love and prayers go out to Rita, Todd, Perry, Cathy and Lisa and their families. Someday we will all see Wayne again when we all return to be home with our Almight Father.
Michael Lynum
Kim & Dave Copenhaver
October 6, 2010
I did not know Wayne, but I do have the privilege of calling Perry family (he married my sister-in-law, Susan). I know what a generous and loving man Perry is and I can only assume he learned that from his dad. You're going to miss Wayne very much, but envelope yourselves in the memories of your life with him. Tell stories about him. Laugh, cry and then laugh some more. It keeps the memories alive! Dave and I are praying for the entire Lynum family.
Sheila (Lynum) Moore
October 6, 2010
Uncle Wayne was a kind and caring man and a positive influence in my life. The world was a better place because of him, and he will be missed. My love and prayers go to Aunt Rita, and Todd, Perry, Kathy and Lisa and their families.
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