Roger Wendell Alford Jr.

1937 - 2020

Roger Wendell Alford Jr.

In loving remembrance of Roger Wendell Alford Jr., who on July 31, 2020, transcended this mortal coil and passed onto the next phase of being. May he rest in peace, or for those of you who knew him well, may he continue to work as it suits him, but may it be peaceful. He was also known as "Pops" or "Grandpa" to his children and grandchildren and "Wendy" to some of his siblings and childhood friends. Roger was born October 14, 1937, to Gertrude and Roger Wendell Alford Sr in Augusta, Georgia. He is survived on his parents side by his 3 siblings, Wesley Alford and his wife Faye, Chris Alford and his wife Deeny, and Cathy Smith (with remembrance to her husband the late great Uncle Grady Smith), all of whom he maintained contact with throughout his life. It is often customary to include the names of all other familial relations in the recounting of someone's life: cousins, nieces, nephews, in-laws, friends of family, etc. However, while there are too many from the Alford and Wilson families with whom Roger had a connection to list here, there is no question that you were all important to him.

There are many stories of his childhood and they are full of good healthy mischief and boyhood fun. Some of these involved distressing the neighborhoods grumpy old ladies with his motorcycle while delivering papers, leading to his encounter with some "haphazardly" placed barbwire, or jumping the fence at the Augusta Country Club to play the Amen Corner of the Masters Course. He always had a smile and a sparkle in his eye when he recalled these times.

He often spoke of how his father, Roger Sr, taught him the classic philosophy of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps," a mindset he taught to his own children later in life, so at the age of 17, he enlisted in the United States Navy. He served on bomber planes stationed in many places including Ireland, Greenland and had even flown over the North Pole. He also told stories of getting into altercations in bars with the Russian sailors sometimes stationed in the same locations. Sometimes the next day they would be playing tag from the plane he served on as the navigational target man with the same Russian soldiers in their submarines, and then they would all laugh about it on the radio or later on in the bar again. He reminisced fondly of these times and was spared having to see combat during that time of neutrality. Considering his compassion for others, it is believed he was grateful for this. During his time in the Navy, he attended electronics school, and this was instrumental in his decision to pursue a degree in electrical engineering at Georgia Tech. Roger graduated from Georgia Tech in 1964 with a Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering and with a Masters of Science in 1971. He had achieved certification as a Registered Professional Engineer prior to the Masters in 1970. Among other companies he worked for after college, the job he dedicated his time to was working as Director, Corporate Business Development for the architectural/engineering firm Lockwood Greene. He remained with this company from 1978 until he retired in 2003. Not one to let retirement slow him down he continued to work (the irony is not missing), investing in real estate, managing some rental properties, and serving as president of the Homeowners Association for both the Timbers and the Courtside Condominiums in Asheville, NC.

Roger was an avid jogger until issues with his knees in later life and dedicated to exercise, sports and outdoor activities. From sailing to tennis, biking and jogging to skiing, he was a strong proponent of physical activity and its profound effect on one's physical and mental fortitude. He was the first to encourage it in his children and grandchildren, often to the point that it might have worried their mothers. When his knees went, he took up bicycling but had not ridden one since childhood so all in all he has sustained the most injuries. This familial tally is, however, still running. No pun intended.

Roger Jr met his lifetime partner, wife, "nurse", and confidant Elizabeth (Beth) Gordon Wilson Alford in 1971, with Roger III in tow. At the time he was a single father sharing responsibilities in taking care of his first son. Beth recalls to this day that one of the things which endeared the boy's father to her was his devotion to involvement in Roger III's life. She came to feel the same shortly after and Roger Jr and Beth were married on February 19, 1972. They remained married for 48 1/2 years. Their connection was instant and remained strong until his recent passing. Together they raised four children and have six grandchildren. He is survived by them and his infectious smile which lives on in all of them. In order of their birth:

-Roger Wendell Alford III, his wife Kimberly Cole Alford and their children Nicholas Cole Alford and Caden Roger Alford

-Steven Wesley Alford, his wife April Marie Alford and their children Eva Wren Lambert and Circe Brynn Alford

-Christopher Michael Alford

-Lucas Alan Alford, his wife Elisha Tamar Alford and their children Alina Naomi Alford and Jordan Ryan Alford

These are the particulars and formalities of Roger's life and legacy, and proof of his dedication to the concept that if there is nothing ventured there will be nothing gained. However, the true story of who he was and his role in the lives of others is profoundly more intricate. A dedicated husband, father, grandfather, and friend, he was always enthusiastically teaching his children and grandchildren how to do new things, to question why things happen, and to challenge themselves to excel in whatever they do. He approached life with humor and he always said "If you can't laugh at yourself then life isn't worth living." He valued curiosity, challenges, guidelines instead of rules, discussion, inductive versus deductive reasoning, and adventure. He was never afraid to take risks, always looking for what was ahead. He could walk into a room full of people and get anyone talking and engaged in conversation. He loved his children more than anything else as well as their uniqueness and was proud of each one's special talents. He encouraged their independence. He valued exercise, music, math, family, and travel to new places. His glass was always half-full. He loved good wine, good food, especially grilling and even more so when it was for family. He was known by the kids of two generations for his "skinny-legged pumpkin" stories. Tales of the skinny man with a pumpkin head that lived on x-island on Lake Lanier in Georgia. Stories generally made up on the spot as bedtime stories, but still filled with excitement, adventure, and even action sometimes as he drew on his life's experiences and peppered them with his vivid imagination. He exposed his boys to all kinds of music starting with Peter and the Wolf when they were toddlers and progressing all the way to Tchaikovsky, Mozart and even on to Pink Floyd. In later life the stories of Sherlock Holmes became a big part of his life as he continued to be fascinated with the art of reasoning.

But Roger's greatest gift, and this has been confirmed more than once and by multiple people since his passing, was his ability and desire to include others as he lived life to the fullest…regardless of religion, race, gender, politics, age, or walk of life. He always found a way to connect with people. Be the "molecule with many available bonds" was his mantra. He wanted to engage with everyone. He would ask about their interests, and as he listened so that he could connect with his children, grandchildren, in-laws, other family members, new acquaintances or even strangers, the desire to include everyone in his life's journey never faltered.

As an avid reader, here are a few quotes from some of his favorite authors,

"Of the value traps, the most widespread and pernicious is value rigidity. This is an inability to revalue what one sees because of commitment to previous values."

"Logic presumes a separation of subject from object, therefore logic is not final wisdom."

- Robert M. Pirsig. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

"About belief or lack of belief in the afterlife……I am a humanist, which means, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without any expectation of rewards or punishment after I'm dead."

-Kurt Vonnegut

And most importantly….

"when you are up to your arse in alligators, its hard to remember that the main objective is to drain the swamp."

- anonymous

Special thanks to cousins Verdery Ottwell and Jim Wallace whose friendships over the years he cherished; quite possibly the only ones who knew the true "wramblin' wreck from Georgia Tech" as he liked to refer to himself. He valued your friendships and always spoke of reminiscing with you about what he called his "formative years." As well to Aunt Emma "Tantie" Wilkerson who made him pass math. He became good at it later. And to everyone else whose lives he touched. He cared for you all.

Roger Wendell Alford Jr. was a patient in line for the removal of his kidney at a triage unit in Gainesville, FL when he contracted a nosocomial infection of the SARS-COV-2 corona virus. While he had lived a full life and accomplished much, the complications involved with the coronavirus and the capacity of the medical system to deal with the situation took him too soon. To the medical staff we send our thanks for doing your best in what must be a very hard position. He made a deep impression on many individuals and is survived by many people who love him dearly. He will be forever in our hearts and minds and will be sorely missed.

His remains were cremated as was his request on August 3, 2020. For family members, close friends, or whomever he made an impression on, there will be a memorial celebration in the future announced when it is safe for us all to gather once again.

Roger, Wendy, Pops, Grandpa, Dad, and friend; May you solve the mystery, find the answers, and clue us in again when we need it the most as you have always done.