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Thomas Gray Obituary
February 24, 1948 ~ August 18, 2016
Thomas Michael Gray died at the age of 68 on the morning of August 18, 2016 with his family around him. Medicine was his calling and he served his community as a healer to others, first as a family physician. He was also a co-founder of Family Health Care, an educator to young doctors, a leader of the Central Valley Medical Group and in his last years he served as a hospice physician at Community Hospice. He was passionate about the outdoors and hiking, enjoyed learning through his many travels, pursued woodworking and painting, and continued to stoke his love of history through reading and visiting historic sites. But all of these paled in comparison to the love and pride he felt towards his four caring children: Tim (Han), Emily (Chad), Robyn, and Sarah and three grandchildren: Katelynn, Lian, and Benjamin. He shared 46 years of married life with Janelle; they remained devoted loving partners. Tom leaves a brother, Terry Gray, of Modesto and a sister, Carolyn Palmer, of Sunnyvale; siblings he cherished and enjoyed throughout his life.
Tom believed that we are all authors of our own lives, and that while missteps and failure were inevitable, they should be viewed as opportunities for growth and discovery. That if we learned from our mistakes, we could build a life to be proud of, and grow into the person we strive to be. Tom lived by the principle that says we learn more from our failures than from our successes.
Tom was born in Toronto, Canada and moved to Sunnyvale, California as a teenager. Modesto, California became his home after completing medical school at UC Irvine. He built a full life with colleagues, friends, and family. In his last two years of life, Tom, took on the challenge of facing his mortality. These years were difficult and his mental focus, spiritual depth, and emotional steadiness, and fervent desire to live with grace and hope, humbled all who knew him. Tom Gray was born under a full moon and died under a full moon. He leaves a strong legacy of living each moment fully.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Learning Quest, 1032 11th Street, Modesto, CA 95354 or Community Hospice, 4368 Spyres Way, Modesto CA, 95356.
A "Celebration of Life" will be held on Saturday, September 24 at 2:00pm at Community Hospice in Modesto (4368 Spyres Way, Modesto, Ca 95356).
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Memories and Condolences
for Thomas Gray
Jeri maniaci
December 12, 2024
I saw Dr. Gray for years. He helped me through various medical issues and concerns. I started seeing him as a young adult, and he was my doctor through single life, marriage and then children. He also cared for my husband and children and they loved him as well. He was always kind, always ready to listen, and always cared. He'd explain things, talk with you and made sure you got tests and procedures you needed. He was the best doctor I ever had. He had a special place in my heart and I'm saddened to know he's gone.
Robert Watson
October 27, 2016
I was saddened to hear of Dr Grey's passing. He was exactly the right caregiver for me and I thoroughly enjoyed my interactions with him. I took hating to see the doctor to epic heights and it was Dr Grey that made all the difference to me. He was a blessing to my family and me. I will never forget him. Thank you, sir and godspeed.
Michele Peterson
October 6, 2016
I had the honor of being Toms' patient in the early days. Then we worked at Memorial together. And when he "retired" we found ourselves as co-workers and friends at Community Hospice. He was just so full of love and caring for people that he couldn't really retire. Even tired from his treatments he would accompany me to a patients home to see what he could do for them. He was one of the most kind and truly loving people I ever knew. I am so honored to have learned from him. I am proud to call him a mentor and friend. Bless you Gray family, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you Tom!
Frederick Mathiesen
October 3, 2016
I am so sad to hear of Dr. Greys passing. For more than 27 years he CARED for my family and, odd as it my seem, I faithfully scheduled and looked forward to my annual physicals because it was so nice just talking with him, for those few minutes he cared about nothing more than me and what was happening in my life. Never failed to ask about my children, each of them his patients too. May he rest in peace. Truly one of the finest men I have ever known.
John OBrien
October 3, 2016
Dr Gray served our family with the best health care for all six of us. We are grateful to have known him. May God bless his family.
the three amigos
Dave & Nancy Perry
September 25, 2016
Great memories of our time together in Ireland. Your great spirit, ready smile and encouragement to all. Will miss you, "amigo." Best to you Janelle.
Keri Magee
September 23, 2016
Doctor Gray was such a kind and compassionate person. He was my physician when my child was battling cancer and later died. He listened and supported me and helped me to take the time I needed to take care of myself. He was such a genuine and gentle person and I am certain he will be missed by many in this community. My thoughts are with his family at this time.
Sue Divjak
September 23, 2016
Dr. Gray was my primary care physician for almost 30 years. He was a wonderful human being. May the memory of his very meaningful life bring comfort to his family.
Tom Balmanno
September 22, 2016
We will miss Tom's vitality and willingness to meet each new day with determination, to make it the best day of his life. He was willing to tackle his illness with the same attitude as he would challenge a mountain trail: all out and full speed ahead. He was a man for whom family meant everything. He and his lovely wife spent many happy years establishing a good home and raising a wonderful family. Having his children reach out and grasp their goals in live must have given him much satisfaction. It was a blessing that he was able to spend time with his grandchildren, who meant the world to him, we're sure.
It is unfortunate that Tom's life was cut short. He still had many trails to hike and much to give to this world.
We were honored to call him our brother-in-law and will miss him greatly.
With love & affection, Tom & Carolyn Balmanno
Natasha Basso (Bond)
September 21, 2016
Dr. Gray delivered me- was my family doctor until he retired. My thoughts are with the Gray family- may love and memories help you through this.
Iris Mestemacher & family
September 12, 2016
Dr. Gray was our family doctor for many years. He was a kind and gentle doctor who put the most anxious at ease. We're so sorry to hear of his passing. May God bless you with many comforting memories. He was a great man and we were blessed to know him.
Rachele Guerrero-Krum
September 8, 2016
I was lucky to have Dr Gray as a doctor on call with Family Health Care since they opened their doors across the street. I remember Dr Gray as a wonderful man who cared deeply for all his patients. I'm sorry for this huge loss for everyone who loved this wonderful, caring man.
John Schaefer
September 8, 2016
Grew up across the street from the Gray family in Sunnyvale, Ca. . Mrs. Gray was a special lady in a great family.
I remember Tom always wanted to be a Doctor for all the right reasons. He worked so hard.
I moved to Modesto and lived there for 50 years. During that time I heard such nice things about Tom and Janelle. This always made me happy to know he earned his dream. The Grays were and are the best!! So sorry
September 8, 2016
May I offer my condolences to Dr. Gray's family and friends. Losing a loved one in death is one of the hardest things we have to go through. A scripture that brings me comfort is 2 Kings 20:5. Here God promises that "I have heard your prayer. I have seen your tears. I am healing you". I hope this brings you comfort as well. I will keep your family in my prayers tonight.
Laurie Duffey
September 8, 2016
To your family, I was never a patient of Dr Gray, I was blessed to cross paths with this incredible man. I have worked in the medical field in many different positions as a manager, back office and receptionist in several practice for more then 25 years. I can assure you that Dr Gray was so respected, he was kind, he was gracious, while I may not know his personal walk with our Lord, Dr Grays smile, concern for others, the feel of comfort he gave to me whenever our path did cross, this man , a healer was a gift to all of us from God, Please take peace, and love, for Dr. Gray is truly with the Angles, that Dr. Gray is healed and waiting for all of you to be reunited not on our time but on Gods, Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us , This man was a hero, Respectfully,
Denise G
September 7, 2016
Dr. Gray - thank you for the care you gave me as your patient. I appreciated how calm you were and how well you listened. You were one-of-a-kind. I'm grateful you trained others who can carry on your legacy of wise physician.
September 7, 2016
Dear Janelle, Tim, Robyn, Emily and Sarah, so sad to learn of Dr Gray's passing. He was a wonderful Doctor; kind, compassionate and caring and a great neighbor. Our deepest sympathy to all of you. Eternal be his memory. Paul, Karen and Lia Forakis
Gary, Carol, Amy & Ryan Manson
September 6, 2016
So sad to hear of the passing of Dr Gray. He was our family physician for many years. A truly kind and gentle man. He will be greatly missed. Condolences to the family.
Kurt Beam
September 6, 2016
Dr.Thomas Gray first he was a friend,second a good listener,and third a great doctor.This is one man I will truly miss,but God needed him more.
Jim Treece
September 6, 2016
Sad news to hear of Dr. Gray's passing. He was my Doctor for many years, this kind man always took the time to ask about my family when ever I saw him. I'm sure he had their names on my personal info but it still ment alot that he asked about them name by name.
I truly believe I'm alive today because of how Dr.Gray chose to practice Medicine.
Sue Zwahlen
September 5, 2016
My thoughts are with you at this tender time in your lives.
Sincerely,
Raymond Ladnier
September 4, 2016
RIP Dr. Gray. Fantastic doctor that served with compassion and commitment. He will be missed.
Mary Jane Rivers Luck
September 4, 2016
I was very sadden to see that Dr Gray has passed. I remember him from the early days when he was a young Resident at Scenic. He was also my doctor. A fantastic physician, a very kind person. My hearetfelt sympathy does out to his family. He will be sorely missed as he is out there in the great beyond. "Be thou at peace Tom." Such a great loss to the community.
Marlene Cohen
September 3, 2016
Among the many paths for Tom's precious lifeforce was his teaching of new doctors. His honesty and compassion were and are still inspiring us all. It was a privilege and joy to work with him over many years. The memory of his love for his family and his joy serving others stays in my heart. He will be always remembered by so many.
September 3, 2016
Such a wonderful person. Such a beautiful heart. He will be missed greatly. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
Janette Jameson
September 3, 2016
Dr Grey was a wonderful physician and kind person, he will be cherished and missed by my family. He was one of those good people the world needs, we are blessed to have met him
Donna Larkin
September 2, 2016
Dr. Gray was my physician for many years. I am truly sorry for your loss, he was a kind, gentle man and a wonderful doctor.
Carmen Sandoval
September 1, 2016
I'm glad to say that I knew Dr. Gray and had the pleasure to work with him at Family Heath Care. He will be missed! Rest In Peace!!
Linda&Danny Thompson
August 31, 2016
"A prayer For My Cousin Tommy"
God Saw He Was Getting Tired,A Cure Was Not To Be,So He Put His Arm Around Him And Whispered, "Come With Me".With Tearful Eyes We Watched Him Suffer And Saw Him Fade Away.Although We Loved Him Dearly, We Could Not Make Him Stay. A Golden Heart Stopped Beating Hard Working Hands To Rest. God Broke Our Hearts To Prove To Us ...He Only Takes "The Best"
God Bless You Tommy ,Now You Can Have A Family Reunion With Your Mom ,Dad & All Your Aunts ,Uncle's &Family. We All Will Cherish And Treasure The Memories of You.God Bless ! Linda&Danny Thompson
Michelle & Randy Davis
August 30, 2016
I worked in the Emergency Dept at Memorial Medical Center with Dr. Gray many years ago. He was a great physician, excellent at diagnostics, extremely competent and always compassionate. He also had a good sense of humor. We will all miss him.
Lillian Shumate
August 30, 2016
I am saddened to learn of Dr Gray's passing. I had worked with him in the very early days of CVMG. Over the decades, shared many patients with him. I have always reassured my GYN patients who had him as PCP they are in the best of hands! I admire and respect his dignity as a Christian man, his excellent and compassionate care as a Physician, and his steadfast friendship.
He is missed. May God comfort his family. I know he is already with God, do not have to ask God to be merciful on his soul.
Cathy DeLaMare
August 30, 2016
Our family is very sorry to learn of Dr. Gray's passing, he will be sorely missed. We were so lucky to have him as our Doctor for so many years, he will always be our favorite. May God continue to bless his family.
Katie Madsen
August 26, 2016
Dr Gray took care of me and my family for 30 years. It is rare to find an outstanding practitioner plus a wonderful human being in the same package - but that is what you got with him. I always had such confidence in his professional abilities and felt he would always keep my best interest in mind. He was a sounding board showing such compassion and caring, never judgmental or dismissive, always seeking to understand, using a gentle hand to guide me through my health care. We often discussed our travels and our families. He always glowed when he spoke about his children and family. He was truly a good and decent man. Heart felt condolences to his loved ones.
Sharon Reed
August 21, 2016
My entire family have been long-term patients of the kind doctor. Even now, after his retirement, whenever the name of Doctor Gray comes up, one of us will always say, "oh, I just love him"! And, then all present of course agree. A warm smile, kind eyes and a very caring heart describe this wonderful gentleman. We will miss him so.
Sincere condolences to the entire Gray family.
Rest in peace, good doctor.
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