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James Dern Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for James Dern
Santhoshi
July 6, 2019
It has been ten years, and I still miss his kindness and his wisdom.
Santhoshi
July 20, 2009
I am in shock - Jim "Donatello" was a good online friend, his passing came far too early. He encouraged me in my artwork and was a wonderful person with whom to discuss all manner of things. He was a good, sincere, outstandingly intelligent, sensitive and creative man. I am glad that he found happiness and a family, and all my sympathies are with his wife, daughters and grandchild(ren) whom he loved so dearly and so joyfully. Adieu mon ami.
Johnnie C.
July 16, 2009
R.I.P, Jim "Donatello"
He was a gentleman and a scholar
Vince
July 15, 2009
I've waited to add my words to this memorial for Jim, because holding my words and thinking before I release them is something I'm not very good at. I think that ability is something, quite recently actually, that Jim was trying to teach me and since most of us don’t asked to be taught a lesson, sometimes we need that very thing and only realize it later.
I guess that's what family does for each other and Jim was certainly part of the family. Jim was part of our online family that for many of us started back on the old MSNBC boards a decade ago.
Sure, we fight and argue some, take cheap shots on occasion knowing the recipient was tough enough to take it and often realizing in hindsight, we shouldn’t have said anything at all. But the family mostly learns from each other, helps each other grow as people, as mothers and fathers, as students of many subjects and of life, and most of all as friends.
As friends we shared current events, our views and beliefs, tragedies like 9/11. We shared our happy times with each other. We shared our Marriages, our children, hobbies, travels, and stories of our past.
Jim was a friend to us all. A man who loved his family, his work, his various interests, and while many of us had our differences of opinion with each other and with Jim, we loved him being part of our little family. A part that will forever be missing.
So here’s to you uncle Don, you’ve shared your life with us, you’ve made us laugh, you’ve made us choose our words more wisely, and you’ve made us happy to have known you and to be able to call you friend. You will be missed.
Connie
July 14, 2009
To the Family of James Dern;
My sincere condolences on the passing of your beloved husband, father and grandfather.
He let us know that his love for all of you had made him so happy in the past couple of years and that he was changed by that love. I hope that brings comfort and joy in knowing he felt complete because of all of you.
I hope your sorrow will not be with you long, and the memories will bring you peace.
There's this task we must all do for our loved ones when they leave us too soon, and that is to place in order their belongings and their unfinished chores. There is a very diverse group of friends on his Political Board that called him friend and leader and considered him a worthy opponent on various issues. Please know that I hope you will continue to allow this part of "Donatello's" work to remain.
Thank You for sharing James with us. My prayers and best wishes are for you all.
ConnieSue
Canton Ohio
One of his Moderating Team
July 14, 2009
I will miss Jim. He was a good friend, a good listener, a careful adviser, a man who was always kind and wanted always to be fair. He offered his praise freely and tempered any necessary criticisms with careful gentleness so the receiver could accept it without feeling stupid. He took constructive criticism easily and never held it against anyone for saying so. In fact, he actually sought it out from the team of moderators whenever he was unsure as to the fairness of an action taken on the board. He promptly apologized and rectified the situation whenever he made a mistake or was too hasty to act. He didn't make excuses, he owned up to his responsibilities to each member and was unashamed to admit an error. He aspired to be above allowing personal feelings and views to interfere with fairness to all.
He was very generous to all of us whenever we made any mistakes, never lambasting us for them nor throwing them in our faces later on. He trusted us and we all did our best to live up to it. He routinely asked us our views on how to do things and took our suggestions gladly. Amongst ourselves, he gave credit to us and clearly appreciated all of us. Because of past problems for moderators, he protected us from the glaring spotlight of our identities being known where every decision would be disected and criticized by those who might disagree with our decisions in moderating. To assist us, he encouraged us all to figure out and to adopt an identical philosophy so we could all act as one using the same guidelines and principles so it wouldn't matter "who was on duty".
It is with a heavy heart that the four of us left behind will continue with his vision, helping the board to grow and to thrive in whatever the future brings to us. We intend to keep it going the same way he would have led it if he was still with us.
Our little team was a family of sorts and it's now missing its leader. He was the center of our team and his vision of the board was the basis of our moderating guidelines. However, because of our in-depth discussions about that vision and his posting it on-line for all, those of us left behind can and will continue as he would have wanted to see it done by following it. Jim is gone but the vision of his board will live on within all of us as we take it forward and bring the memory of our "Donatello" along with us.
Please accept my deepest condolences for the loss that your family has suffered with Jim's death. No one can replace him in our "family" nor yours, but I hope you will take some comfort in knowing that he will live on in the memories of those who loved and cared about him and that a piece of him will continue to grow & flourish because his friends will keep it going.
Blessings to you all
Shelle
July 14, 2009
Over the years, I grew to consider Mr. Dern’s online personality as our resident historian. Always a thought-provoking read, especially on the occasions when several other military veterans, history enthusiasts, and even a couple of young university doctorates were engaged with “Donatello” in discussion regarding moments in our American history, and their effects on our society at home and around the world. Another brilliant mind has been lost, and far too young.
Steve Aydt
July 14, 2009
I'm saddened to hear about his passing. Like Michael, I first encountered him on the MSNBC Religion & Ethics Board over a decade ago. James was always a lively writer, engaging others about their ideas and expressing himself with uncommon sense. He was a fun and freidnly person who will be missed.
A.J.
July 14, 2009
I've known Jim for over 11 years. Never met him face to face but considered him to be a great and wonderful friend. I came to know him behind the scenes when three of us monitored a political discussion board a few years ago. This began the e-mails that allowed me to know him better. The more I learned about him the better I liked, respected, and trusted him.
Early on it was very apparent that of all the people who posted on the bulletin boards he had some kind of unique and valued experience and understanding to offer. I would post directly to him as a result. And rarely would I be dissappointed in the answer. Always thought provoking, always respectful, always honest.
We developed a friendship online that eventually led to phone calls. This was especially exciting for me personally because I could actually talk to a man in real time for whom I had the utmost respct without the constraints of e-mail. He shared with me some of those life stories that gave him the insight that he brought to the boards. And he shared with me some of his experiences in Viet Nam. They were hair raising. Incredible missions that had me wondering how he made it back. One doesn't survive that kind of warfare without altering ones perspectives. But the perspectives he eventually developed as a result were not the type that were destructive or self absorbing in nature. They were broadly based and founded in a very realistic understanding of human nature. His experiences were real boots on the ground. And he brought the lessons learned into every discussion and interaction he had with everyone he came into contact with. The effect was positive overall.
His confidences included a real concern for our country. In some ways he shared my concerns of the political polarizations. But more he was glad that Obama won the presidency and hoped that he could repair the damage done by the Bush adminsitration. Time will tell on that score.
He had a genuine passion for the discussion board he managed. Above all he wanted to provide a place where people could come and actually discuss the issues of the day in an environment of tolerance, open mindedness and respect. And it was always his intent to manage that board fairly. To this end he was largely successful. The character of that board became an extension of his persona.
He also shared with me his medical condition. Frankly, I was horrified to consider what he was going through and the impact it had on his quality of life. For this reason I encouraged his seeking out and following through with an operation that would help relieve the worst aspects of his condition. He really had no choice but to follow through. To do nothing would have only meant a worsening of his situation. I am incredibly saddened that the operation itself turned out to be a success while the post op resulted in our losing this wonderful man.
I'm sure that Jim would have had some significant philosophical insight into how this last mission played out. He would certainly relate it to some past experience that he had participated in or witnessed. I also know that he was enthusiastic about the possibilities of a successful outcome and looked to a brighter future with his wife and family. That it didn't work out for him and them is sad.
He was very much a teacher and a mentor for me. He was someone not too much older than I who I could turn to for any answer to any question. I could trust him implicitly. We have lost a very unique and wonderful individual.
My sincere condolances to the Dern family. It is a loss for us all.
Michael DuPuis
July 13, 2009
I first encountered Jim on the old MSNBC Religion and Ethics board where we 'issued challanges' to the theists holding court there. We exchanged emails for awhile, recounting the various 'battles' we had joined on that BBS. Later on he found out about my compromised back and always thereafter inquired how I was doing. He seemed sincere and caring, which I appreciated a lot.
After he started his own BBS our interactions became few and far between. I will always remember him as a eminently intelligent, sensitive individual with a very caring nature. It was my privaledge to have encountered him, and, even though we hadn't communicated in quite awhile, I will always remember his sincerety and caring nature. He will be missed...
Trish Telesco
July 13, 2009
I've always felt he was a poet, and this is my way of honoring that:
And the Spirit smiled on the ebony sea
as He sailed the reef of time
with silver suns, the winds of joy
and memories of a childhood rhyme
The moon waxed full o'er the glen
as through dreams' night He flowed
with crystal mists, a Celtic bowl
and Ageless ones humming low
He traveled beyond all crafts and thought
up toward the Violet ray
with cup and sword, coin and staff
and LIGHT to guide the way
And Spirit smiled as He landed safe
-- the vessel of his Soul
With lessons learned, his gifts renewed
and a heart refresh and whole
-- go lightly on the mountain of Spices....
neil bishop
July 13, 2009
Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your loved one today. Thank you for making the Internet a better place.
NAB
Max Schaefer
July 13, 2009
I only knew "donatello" online, but his impact on me was such that forever I will try to be a little bit more like him.
Chris Stewart
July 13, 2009
Will any words bring comfort?
We speak them with that hope, but our hearts cry out:
"Bring him back; that alone will comfort me!"
It is yet another way we are reminded about "Who" is really in control.
And it is when we recognze and embrace that truth that we are genuinely comforted; He is the source of all comfort.
Ah, to have the mind of Christ!
My prayer is that as we reflect on Jim's life and the interactions we have had with him that we may draw from the Giver of life and rest in Him.
Our lives have been enriched by Jim, a real blessing to many, and my confidence is that smiles will replace the tears we shed and that the loss we feel will be forgotten for the richness of what has been gained through knowing the effect his presence has had individually and collectively on each of us.
May God give you all (his family and friends) that peace that surpasses all understanding.
Toni
July 13, 2009
I only knew Jim (Donatello) from his writings online. He struck me as a very kind and gentle soul. Very patient, thoughtful and respectful of others' opinions and experiences.
I was so glad when he reported that he had found someone who obviously made him truly happy in the last few years of his life. He spoke of his wife, children and grandkids with much love and joy.
I read this quote online today, by Francis Bacon: "A healthy body is a guest chamber for the soul: a sick body is a prison."
Few of us knew about Jim’s medical problems until he mentioned he would be going in for surgery, and even then he didn't say what the surgery was for. From reading his posts, you would not have known that he was suffering or languishing in the "prison" of a sick body. He always seemed to have a positive, caring and cheery outlook, in spite of whatever difficulties there may have been. A testament to his character, in my opinion.
I will miss Jim and his wisdom and insights very much. My sincere condolences to his family.
Toni
Wilmington, DE
Charles H. Jeffress III
July 13, 2009
My thoughts and prayers are with Jims family.I enjoyed an online discussion with him and it was obvious he had knowledge and class.
July 13, 2009
July 13, 2009
Baha'u'llah wrote: "I have made death a
messenger of joy for thee, wherefore dost thou grieve." While we may miss Donatello, we must look forward to reunion with him in other worlds of GOD.
Mondo Fuego™
July 13, 2009
James ("j. donatello") Dern Jr. was a Bright Star in our Galaxy.
He had a great appreciation of the finer things in life, and exhibited a very wide range of interests.
Like most folks, he had his own ideas about the world and politics, but unlike a lot of folks, he was always considerate and respectful of the opinions of others.
Most of our communication was via e-mail, and we discussed a number of different issues. One could sense the depth of his character and personality in his writings.
I will truly miss "j. donatello", for he was a gentleman and a scholar.
Mondo Fuego™
[email protected]
http://disc.yourwebapps.com/Indices/227735.html
Siagiah Karlsson
July 13, 2009
Online, Jim was "Donatello", a larger than life character who personified all that's good in human beings. He wanted only to be fair and balanced in his judgments of all who wandered into his political bulletin board. As an avid liberal, Jim disagreed vehemently with many RW viewpoints and was very vocal about it. As the board owner, he could have zapped them all and not allowed them to post, as was the common custom on the board at one time. But he was an honorable man. He wanted fairness and freedom of speech for all, even those who he violently disagreed with. He turned things around and encouraged free speech, civilized disagreements, decency, and respect for all. As a result, he was highly respected by even those who vehemently disagreed with him. Friend and political foes alike mourn his loss. His board is called "civilized political discussion" on webapps for anyone who'd like to see Jim as "Donatello", the leader of the "gang"... and to read the comments by those grief-stricken at his passing.
He was kind, fair, caring, and above all, honest. To me he was a friend and a mentor. He was a fellow artist and we talked via email for days on end about art and his visions of what it was (larger than life murals & huge canvasses large enough to allow him free expression with his artistic notions)
His life was not always easy from what he told me but his final years were the best! Dodi, his beloved wife, brought to him everything that mattered wrapped in one package. She was his high school sweetheart, the love of his life, the mother of the two girls he considered his own and loved as if he was always their "Dad". His beloved grandchildren were a favorite topic of his. Oftentimes he'd mention his special little "preemie granddaughter" (who was about 2 years old) and was all excited at the prospect of seeing her... He'd never realized how much he'd love to be a father & grandfather until Dodi gave that to him. I think that he considered that to be the greatest gift a man could ever have by the way he spoke so reverently about Dodi and the girls.
I will miss JimD aka Donatello VERY MUCH. He was a gentleman and a loyal friend. He helped me through some tough times, offering gentle guidance, understanding, and patience. I admired him immensely and enjoyed sharing his thoughts on life. I enjoyed bantering on board and laughed out loud many times at how amusing some of his comments could be, especially directed at those I knew he disagreed with intensely.
RIP Jim Dern... you are loved and you will be missed.
Sheriff John T. McDevitt
July 13, 2009
I wish to express my heartfelt sympathy in your time of great sorrow. Only those who have lost a loved one can know the depth of your feelings. I have experienced the death of my parents, a child and my grandparents. I know how difficult these times can be for those left behind.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you. God bless you and your family during this difficult time and know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ted Leever
July 12, 2009
I never met Jim, yet had many heated discussions with him online. Although we frequently disagreed, I respected him immensely.
Jim had class, which is something that can't be bought, taught or faked.
I miss him already.
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