Betty Joyce Richard

Betty Richard
If we had to sum up Betty Richard in two words, they would be devotion and strength.
Devotion
Betty lived a life devoted to service. First and foremost, she was devoted to God and her Catholic faith. This devotion shaped the way she approached the world and was a source of the enormous strength she displayed throughout her life. Her devotion to her faith and the church was expressed through the care she showed for others, as well as the many religious activities she undertook over the years.
Betty was a lifelong student of her faith and scripture, particularly with her church family. Those with whom she shared and discussed her faith and scripture did not doubt that she had complete faith in God's plan for her life. She seldom missed mass, and when her health had declined to the point where she could no longer attend church, she watched mass online. When her decline and circumstances made that untenable, she would still regularly watch mass and other religious programming on TV.
Betty was a devoted wife to Martin Richard. She had social and career aspirations before her marriage to Martin, but after marriage, she aspired to be a good wife and partner. Martin admired her for that and her beauty. There were some challenges for Betty in the early years as she came to terms with the expectations and norms of Martin's family in contrast to the way she was raised. But she worked through these challenges and found an acceptable place for herself, Martin, and their family. For Betty, this place included being Martin's support. She took care of the house while he worked at Texaco to monetarily provide for the family. It wasn't always the arrangement she wanted, and she certainly would have liked more help from Martin domestically, but she remained his loyal and supportive spouse. Betty's grandson Thomas remembers talking to her after she met her baby great-grandson for the first time. As she was leaving, she looked at Thomas and said with uncharacteristic emotion "You make sure to be involved".
Betty was a devoted mother. The lion's share of Betty's devotion was given to her children, particularly Ann and Keith. Caring for Ann and Keith defined who Betty was as a person and mother. She threw her whole heart into their care and never publicly expressed any regret or doubt about her circumstances. Caring for them shaped and defined the goals, worries and aspirations she had right up to the very end. Despite Ann and Keith's limitations, she was as proud of and loving toward them as any mother is of her children. Care for Ann and Keith was foremost in her daily life, and all other things were secondary to that. For most parents, raising children is a season of life from which they move on to other things. Perhaps some move on even before the season is over. But being a parent for Betty was a lifelong, daily vocation.
Betty's devotion to her children continued up to the last week of her life. Having lost both of her daughters, she knew the pain, loss and loneliness that comes when a parent loses a child. Those of us who are parents know that that is perhaps the most painful loss possible. Yet it was her hope that Keith would pass before her so that he would never have to know the pain, fear and uncertainty of life without her. To that end, she persevered the last few months of her life in spite of the deteriorating health that robbed her of both speech and mobility. Not surprisingly and through sheer force of will she hung on to life for Keith's sake. Ultimately her devotion to him paid off, and he passed into Heaven before her as she wished. Keith never had to know the pain of losing a parent, though Betty endured the pain of outliving all three of her children.
Strength
The strength Betty possessed was not a physical strength, for in that regard she was an average woman. But her mental and emotional resilience in the face of adversity was the strongest in the family. Some of this resilience was common to those of her generation. Her childhood was shaped by the Great Depression and the struggles of working-class families of that era. From that childhood, she learned frugality, self-reliance and an "I've just got to do it" outlook on life that served her and her family well.
Betty endured difficulties that would send most modern men and women into therapy or worse. She endured challenges in her marriage that would send most modern couples to divorce court. She endured all that with little complaint but with a whole lot of eye-rolling.
Betty's strength to endure, carry on and remain truly devoted to family and God without any sign of doubt was extraordinary. Ann was young when Betty learned about her medical condition and how their lives would be impacted. At the same time, she realized that Keith had the same condition. We can't know what struggles and despair those revelations must have caused, but she took the news very matter-of-factly and moved her life in a new direction.
As the years went on and Ann and Keith's condition deteriorated, she kept going, despite her children never reaching the milestones of physical and social development typical of their ages. We never heard her express a complaint or regret. Instead, Betty adapted and took joy in her situation, making friends and social connections at Hughen School. She talked fondly about the activities they did as any mother would of her children.
Betty's strength carried her through many challenges. Her family situation, first and foremost. Then the move to Austin. She was in her late 70s when she had to leave her lifelong home, Port Arthur, and move to Austin so that her daughter Gayle and her husband John could assist with the care of Ann and Keith and later Betty and Martin. In her new home, she built a life and made new friends. She found the strength to continue caring for Ann and Keith as best she could in the face of aging. And when she was no longer capable of caring for them, it took all the strength of both Gayle and John to pry their care out of her increasingly frail hands. She endured first the loss of her daughter Ann, then the very unexpected loss of her daughter Gayle who was by that time her caregiver.
Betty found the strength to once again upend her life when she moved to a nursing home with Keith after Gayle's passing. By then she had largely lost the physical strength to get out and do much, but she still found the strength to get down the hallway to see Keith who remained her biggest concern.
In those final months, Betty's health rapidly declined. The easy thing to do would have been to let go and move on, but through her strength, she remained in this world until Keith passed. At that point, Betty let go and less than a week later was with God and her family, probably rolling her eyes at Martin when he asked her what took her so long.