Carol Neessen

Carol Jean Deines Neessen, 86, peacefully left this earth on November 2, 2025 in Oro Valley,
AZ.
Carol was born on May 4, 1939 at Deaconess Hospital in Marshalltown, Iowa to Dorothy
Jessiman (McAllister) Deines and Rev. Ishmael (I.J.) Deines of Tama, Iowa.
Carol was the first - and ultimately the only - girl to bless the family, joining older brothers
Joe and John. Six years after Carol was born, little brother Don joined the family, making it
complete.
When she was 18 months old, her father became minister of St. Peter's Lutheran Church in
Greene, Iowa. That peaceful town along the Shell Rock River is where Carol spent her entire
childhood. She attended all years of her K-12 schooling at the Greene Public School - her
elementary years on the first floor, junior high years on the second floor, and high school on the
third floor.
She was always an excellent student except for one C in band because, as it turned out, she
wasn't a fan of the French horn. Carol began twirling batons in third grade, trooping ahead of
the high school marching band during football games and parades. By her junior year of high
school she was the band's drum majorette, following in the footsteps of her eventual sister-in-
law, Martha Andrews, who married Carol's brother John. She began playing basketball in
junior high, in time becoming a point guard on the high school girl's team - a team that nearly
made it to State in 1956, losing at Regionals (so the story goes) by one disappointing free
throw.
Born with flying fingers, Carol won many state typing contests, but her true gift was playing the
piano. She was an All-State pianist and nothing gave her more joy than receiving a new piece
of music to learn, especially one by her favorite classical composer, Ernst von Dohnanyi.
Carol's love of the piano, and music, encompassed her entire life.
The Deines family piano sat in her father's study in the parsonage, and one of Carol's favorite
memories was the countless hours she spent practicing piano while her father worked quietly
on his sermons at his desk nearby. One day, the Reverend asked his little girl if she knew the
"Beer Barrel Polka." She asked him to hum a few bars and then she played it back to him
note-for-note, revealing her gifts of perfect pitch and the ability to play by ear. That talent to
simply play a tune upon request allowed Carol to delight so many over her lifetime.
Carol absolutely adored her three brothers and they doted on her. Joe, 13 years her senior,
would come home for lunch each day and shout, "Where's my turkey?," sending Carol running
out the screen door to greet him; he would laughingly toss her over his shoulder and carry her
back inside. Her brother John, six years older than her and the family clown, made her laugh
with his antics his whole life, especially when he balanced a broom on his nose. And Donny,
the baby of the family and his beloved mother's acknowledged favorite, loved to tease his big
sister and was a dear friend to her his entire life.
Carol attended Luther College in Decorah, Iowa, where she was the talented piano
accompanist for the school's much-lauded Nordic choir. Carol's parents missed their beloved
daughter so much that they would often drive 75 miles to Decorah and park on campus in the
hope of spotting her walking by; she never knew they did this until many years later.
Carol decided to continue her education by pursuing her nursing degree. In August of 1961,
on a day just two weeks prior to graduation, she was working as a student nurse at Allen
Memorial Hospital in Waterloo, Iowa. On that fateful day, Jim Neessen strolled up to the
nursing desk wondering which room a friend was in. Jim ended up chatting with Carol instead,
and the two hit it off, immediately. They fell head-over-heels in love and enjoyed a whirlwind
courtship during Carol's post-graduate work at Chicago's Wesley Memorial Hospital. By
October they were engaged, and they married the following February in Greene, Iowa, with
Carol's father officiating their service. Carol and Jim were the best of friends, together for
nearly 57 years. They shared their lives with their children, grandchildren, and numerous four-
legged friends as well as many beloved extended family members and dear friends.
Carol was a wonderful mother, always involved in and managing her family's interests, passions
and activities. She planned family camping trips; helped 20 little Brownies sell their Girl Scout
cookies; baked Christmas Kringles for all the neighbors; sewed matching outfits for the whole
family (yes, even the boys); canned Jim's home-grown tomatoes and green beans; timed races
at swim meets; encouraged piano, flute, piccolo, drum, and guitar practice; played the organ
and directed the choir at church; crafted, cross-stitched, knitted, sewed, quilted and crocheted
precious hand-made gifts for all occasions; volunteered at the school and church and in the
community; and mended scraped knees and broken hearts, sharing laughter and tears at all of
life's many ups and downs. She cared deeply for her parents, brothers, and entire family,
including the extended family of all of her incredible caregivers in her later years. She was a
beautiful person - an exceptional wife, mother, grandmother (to both her two- and four-legged
grandkids), sister, aunt, and friend - caring and generous with her time and many talents for
her entire life.
And Carol did all of this while continuing her nursing career. Eventually, her professional path
led her to oncology, which fostered her passion for hospice care and allowed her to help many
individuals and their families at this most difficult time of life. Hospice volunteers are often
called "angels on earth," and Carol was definitely one of those angels.
She had a smile that reached her eyes and a laugh that was infectious, and she was always the
first to raise her hand to join in, to help, to contribute, to celebrate. Everything she did, she did
with love. Passionate love. Courageous love. Spiritual love. Joyous love. And above all,
selfless, caring love.
Carol is now happily reunited with many loved ones that she has missed for so long. To all of
you who have touched Carol's life, whether decades ago or just yesterday, she wants a
message passed along: "Thank you for loving me and for being part of my story. I am good. I
am happy. Don't waste time missing me - have a good life and cherish every single minute
you have. I can't wait to see you again one day."
Anyone who wishes to honor Carol's life will remember that personally and professionally, she
lived a life of service to others. So any act of charity and kindness done in her name, with a
smile on your face and love in your heart, would be the perfect way to honor her and carry
forward her legacy.
And when you have a moment, perhaps listen to one of her favorite hymns, "Shall We Gather at
the River," and think of Carol Jean, growing up along the Shell Rock River in Greene, Iowa,
destined from her first day to make the world a better place. And that, she did.