Michael Scott Baldwin

Michael Scott Baldwin
(As understood by his partner of 25 years, spouse of 15 years, Candace D. Milne)
MIKE'S DEATH
Mike passed away on 09/06/24. He was driving on a remote road, Forest Service Road 2204, suffered a fatal heart attack, left the road and hit a tree. The accident occurred about 13 miles from his home of 27 years at Humptulips, Washington. Mike was returning from a solitary hike up Pete's Creek Trail to the top of "Colonel Bob", a demanding hike that usually took him 2-3 hours one way. For many years Mike did that hike 5 or 6 times each summer, sometimes with me, Candace, and sometimes on his own. Mike spent his last night on the top of Colonel Bob, viewing the ocean, the lake, the river, the mountains and, in the distance, the peak that he had once climbed, Mount Olympus. He watched the sun go down. He watched the stars appear and fill the sky. He gazed up into the heavens that he so loved. Mike would have felt so connected, so alive, so overwhelmingly happy. He was "in nature", away from humans, alone with his God, the Universe. I'm sure it was sublime and Mike was doing exactly what he loved the most. For that we can be grateful. But then, on the way down the mountain, things went bad. The autopsy revealed that about halfway down the trail an artery blockage manifested. Mike fell hard, broke 6 ribs and sustained numerous lacerations and abrasions. It is unknowable if the fall preceded the blockage or the blockage preceded the fall. In this very bad state, Mike somehow made it down the trail and to the car. As a member of the staff of the Grays Harbor Coroner's Office later said, "Obviously your husband was one tough guy!" Mike then drove 9.3 miles before the heart attack that took his life struck. At first we didn't know why Mike went off the road. On 09/09/24 Grays Harbor County Deputy Sheriff Eaton (with his canine) found Mike's abandoned pack about ½ way to the top, bloody. On 09/11/24 Mike's son Adam, with his friend Eric, found Mike's abandoned bedding another ¼ mile up the trail. And then the autopsy report came, showing "Cause of Death" as "acute myocardial infarction." I regret now that we dismissed Mike's doctor's warnings that his cholesterol was too high and that he should either take pills or make drastic dietary changes. Moderate dietary changes did not save Mike.
MIKE'S SPIRITUALITY
Mike heard a "different drummer" than most people. He watched or read very little fiction, regarding it as "fantasy" and saw it as a total waste of time. He also regarded most religions as "fantasy". But he understood that religion helps many people through life and he honored that; he never challenged a person's religious beliefs. He had a very high regard for Jesus and for his message. He wished that more self-proclaimed Christians would read and follow Jesus. Mike had his own spiritual beliefs. Nature and the Cosmos were his religion. When on the beach, in the forest, on the plains, and in the mountains he felt connected with his God. He didn't believe in a God Entity (a Supreme Being, a Creator) but he did feel that there was something bigger, perhaps best described as a "Cosmic Consciousness", and he believed that perhaps, just perhaps, we were embraced by that when our human body died.
MIKE'S INTEREST IN SCIENCE
Every day Mike was very aware of sunrise and sunset times, daily seasonal changes, the phase of the moon, the position of the sun on the horizon at sunrise and sunset and the weather. These things mattered to Mike. To him, they were worthy of notice; they were important. Geology absolutely fascinated Mike, both the earth's geology and the geologies of the other planets in our Solar System. He studied the formation of the earth, Panagea and tectonic plates. He followed the latest findings about other planets and took pleasure in the fact that the scientist's assumptions were found to be very flawed. He was particularly intrigued by the repeated and massive "Ice Age Floods" that swept down from Montana through Eastern Washington and onto Oregon's Willamette Valley about 15,000 to 13,000 years ago. These kinds of things excited Mike. I only know about these things because of Mike. We camped throughout Washington and Oregon and explored painted hills, lava flows, basalt columns and much more. He always said, "We'll never run out of places to see in Washington and Oregon."
Mike was also very interested in ancient civilizations and their structures. He felt very strongly that the orthodox narratives of the human story are short-sighted and flawed. He argued that what was required to move those huge stones such long distances, to cut them so sharply and to maneuver them into place so adroitly required advanced knowledge, skills and technology. Mike applied critical analysis to the other sciences, as well. He was especially appalled that, as far as he could tell, scientists abandoned the scientific method when they embraced Quantum Physics. "That's not science!" he said with disgust. It always amazed me how diverse his interests were. I was forever impressed by his library selections, so eclectic, so detailed. Mike was an independent thinker and a prolific reader. And although Mike didn't believe that sasquatches exist nor that intelligent beings from elsewhere in the Milky Way have visited Planet Earth, he never lost his interest in those subjects. At our Coyle property he made two 8' Sasquatch plywood cutouts for the gate, each holding signs that read, "No Trespassing."
MIKE'S CHILDHOOD
Mike was born on 01/19/1952 at Vancouver Memorial Hospital to Francis Herbert Baldwin and Lorraine Christine (Zerwas) Baldwin. Francis and Lorraine were originally from Minnesota. Francis, while in the Navy, had survived the Dec 7, 1941 attack on Pearl Harbor during WWII. Lorraine later said that Francis came back from the war "changed." Mike was the 5th of 9 children, 8 of which survived; all but Mike are currently alive. Mike's Dad, Francis (known as "Lucky"), was a painter. He also owned an apartment building which he maintained himself. And he raised and grew the family's food, with the help of the boys. On their acreage they raised animals for meat and dairy, grew and produced fodder and grew and harvested vegetables, fruits and nuts. For the kids, there was no time for extracurricular after school activities; there were only chores. Mike's mother, Lorraine, with 8 children and a husband to care for, was a very busy home-maker. Her Catholicism was very important to her. The 9 children that Lorraine gave birth to, in order of birth, are: Vicki Schwarz, Leonard Baldwin, Larry Baldwin, Mark Baldwin, Mike Baldwin, Paul Baldwin (who died within 3 weeks of his birth), Janelle Baldwin, Tracy Ankenbauer and Bette Dodge. Mike liked the farm, the chores and the nearby woods and streams, but he just wished that his father had been loving and kind. I believe Lucky mellowed with time but, for Mike, his childhood was agony. He was afraid of his father and believed that his father hated him. Mike also detested his mother's fervent efforts to make him a good little Catholic. He didn't see the world that way; he had his own thoughts; and he didn't like those clothes! As an adult, Mike did not blame his parents. He knew that they had their own "baggage" and struggles and that they were doing the best that they could.
MIKE'S EARLY COPING METHODS (Alcohol and Drugs)
Mike used alcohol to numb the pain. That lasted too many years until at age 45 he simply quit. On 12/09/24 Mike would have had 27 years clean and sober. Mike also used psychedelics. not to numb, but to heal. He and his high school buddies camped and hiked and camped and hiked some more! On the beaches, in the forests and on top of mountains Mike washed his brain (of Catholicism and self-hate) and found connection and peace. Although psychedelics can be very harmful for some people ( triggering debilitating mental illnesses), I believe that these drugs actually helped Mike. On our fridge at Humptulips there is a note he scribbled with 2 quotes. The first quote is from Timothy Leary. It reads, "Psychedelics cause schizophrenia and paranoia in those that have not used them." The second scribble, based on a quote of Graham Hancock reads, "All political leaders should be obliged to go through 10 Ayahuasca sessions before being admitted to office."
MIKE'S CHARACTER
Mike's character and life journey were, of course, greatly affected by his difficult childhood. Mike distrusted people and rarely sought human company or friendships. He was happiest when alone with his projects, his books, his woods, and later, with me. Mike was a hard worker, both while employed and retired. Always busy, always with a project, his output was absolutely phenomenal! For 25 years I witnessed these projects spring from his head, one after another after another. They just never stopped coming. I witnessed each project's inception, design, production, then use. Mike did very fine work. Mike praised his father for teaching the kids to work hard, be thrifty, save money and "accomplish something every day". Mike did all of that. I believe that he also kept busy to distract himself from his pain and to confirm to himself that he did have value, that his Dad was wrong. Lacking support and love from his father, Mike concluded at a very young age that he was "on his own", that only he would solve his problems. Independent, he eschewed help. I always felt that if a calamity were to strike, Mike would know exactly what to do and would keep us safe. Mike was happiest when "in nature". That's why he worked in the woods, hiked the woods, fished, walked the beaches and climbed the mountains. Out there Mike found connection and peace. One of our recent best experiences was at our Quillayute River property by the campfire. We sat together, looked into the yellow and orange glowing embers, up into the star-filled sky and across to each other. It was a precious night on Planet Earth for us.
MIKE'S WORK LIFE
Mike worked in the timber industry his entire life, starting on the green chain at the "International Paper" (IP) sawmill in Vancouver, Washington. He moved from the mill into the woods where he fell trees, ran the skidder, directed the crew and worked hard and fast. He just loved it. Mike was driven. His goal was to get the job done. The bosses liked this but many of his fellow workers found Mike's speed, impatience and demands unpleasant. Regardless, everyone respected Mike for his energy, work ethic, smarts, skills and output. When older, Mike transitioned into driving dump truck and chip truck. Boring! He also worked at Crane Creek Mill as a millwright where he learned new skills and improved his welding. While employed at Crane Creek Mill Mike made his feelings about the 2003 US invasion of Iraq known. Mike hated war and the propaganda that promoted it. He saw war as a complete waste of lives and money. When one of Mike's fellow workers began bragging that his son was getting ready to enlist, Mike asked "Do you want your son to come home in a body bag for THAT?" The son did not enlist. Mike felt proud that maybe, just maybe, his speaking out had saved that young man's life. Mike was a good and hard worker, but he was never owned by the job or the boss. Fortified by his savings, Mike quit whenever he became disenchanted with the job or the boss. He valued his own time too much to squander it on a boring job or bad boss. He enjoyed recounting one quitting episode during which his boss, with a very red face, screamed, "You can't quit! I pay better than anyone around! You can't quit!" Mike replied, "You don't own me. You don't treat me fairly. I'm done." I remember one wonderful employer, Les Miller, coming to our house at Humptulips, gently asking Mike to come back to drive log truck. Mike had to decline. His time was just too precious.
MIKE'S PERSONAL LIFE
While working at IP, Mike and his girlfriend Dixie married. They bought a house in Battleground and while living there Dixie gave birth to Adam. Mike was absolutely thrilled! Mike and Dixie then purchased 5 acres in Amboy, where Mike built a big beautiful "off the grid" log home for his family of 3. Mike harvested the trees for the logs. He and Dixie gathered the fireplace stones together. It was a beautiful house with a gorgeous fireplace, a big wood stove and a big front door. Mike always built things big and strong. When the marriage eventually failed, Dixie and young Adam moved to Arizona, occasionally returning to help Dixie's parents. When they moved back permanently Mike and Adam were able to fortify their bonds. In 1977, ready for a change and for an alcohol-free life, Mike moved to Humptulips. There he and I had 25 years together as "Humptulips Hillbillies". I loved how he looked, with his beanie and his greasy tattered clothes. I especially loved it when he grew his hair long. He was handsome! We had many good times. During the last couple of years I became totally astounded by the quality of our relationship. Only those who have been in a good relationship for years understand just how deep and satisfying such a relationship can be. I was so lucky. Thank you, Mike. Mike very much loved his son, Adam. Adam greatly loves his father, too. Mike was very proud of Adam. Mike and Adam spent time in the woods together, worked on vehicles together and just talked. Unfortunately, Covid and then political differences paused Adam's visits to Humptulips. But Adam's expensive presents to his Dad, normally tools, never paused. The love never paused. I think that our last visit with Adam may have been at Spirit Lake near Mike's beloved Mt. St. Helens on 09/12/22. Adam will be spreading Mike's ashes at the very remote Blue Lake, west of Mt. St Helen's in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest that Mike so loved, where Mike both worked and played. Adam and Mike had a very deep love.
MIKE'S SIBLINGS AND FRIENDS
Mike's relationship with his siblings was greatly affected by his general alienation from human beings. Through all the years the most persistent of his siblings was Vicki. Thank you, Vicki, for never giving up and for keeping Mike connected to his family. Thank you to all blood family (and spouses and kids) who did their best to keep up communication with unresponsive Brother, Uncle and In-Law Mike. And thank you to my sister, Ginna and her husband, Si, for being great friends to Mike all these years. Mike had 3 good friends from high school. They were Bruce Bartkowski, John Hvass, and Jerry Brothers. They hiked, camped, drank and did some drugs. Boy, did they have fun! Then they did it all over again! In November 1976 while Bruce and Mike were climbing Mt. Hood in Oregon a terrible slide and tragedy occurred. Bruce died in Mike's arms. This tragedy forever horrified Mike; the sadness never left. Mike's friendships with John Hvass and Jerry and Linda Brothers continued until Mike's death. Their phone calls meant much to Mike. Mike's best friends from Grays Harbor were Howard Beglinger (now deceased) followed by Bruce Brown, both from AA.
MIKE'S SKILLS, PROJECTS AND HOBBIES
Mike was a very good auto-mechanic, starting at age 14 when he purchased a 1962 Chevy Biscayne; he swapped its motor among other things. For the next 58 years he made sick vehicles run again and made ugly vehicles beautiful again. Mike's carpentry projects (which he designed and built almost exclusively by himself) did not stop with the big log house in Amboy. At Humptulips they included a six stall garage, a 48' x 48' storage shed (peaking at 19' tall where he placed a sunroof), a 20' x 30' Greenhouse (for me) and more. He believed in maintaining what he owned, including the Humptulips house (and grounds), his machinery and our vehicles. Mike was always fixing things and designing, building and making things. I especially loved the "MADE IN AMERICA" plaques he crafted and welded to his home-made stoves and BBQ's. I also loved the "Gypsy Wagon" camping trailer he made out of a truck bed and the way he converted a school bus into a camper, replete with wood stove. I could go on and on. The projects never stopped, one after another after another. Mike had so many skills and did amazing work. Mike enjoyed garage sales; he loved a good deal. Sometimes he'd find obscure tools, unrecognizable to most people. Most of the stuff he brought home he eventually put to a very good use. This made him happy. And so often he'd come into the house from his shop and say excitedly, "I bought this tool 15 years ago for $2 and now I have the perfect use for it!"
THANK YOU, MIKE
Mike was an amazing friend, partner and husband to me, Candace. He felt strongly that partners do not "own" each other and that each person on earth is on their own journey. He never complained when my job, political work or responsibility to my parents took over my mind or left him home alone. Mike taught me so much. Mike helped me so much. I am oh so grateful for our years together, every day sharing love and support, every year better than the previous. How could I be so lucky? Mike was an amazing man.
It's comforting to think that perhaps, just perhaps, Mike is, as Adam described, "laughing in the Elysian Forest" and that he did merge with the Cosmos that he so loved.