Ollie Jo Wester

With hands that wrote your little notes, I write your little elegies. -Edna St Vincent Millay Ollie Jo White Wester was born Sunday June 14, 1931 in Vernon, Wilbarger County, Texas. The oldest child of Joe (Joseph) Pelham and Ollie Mae Gray White, sibling to Dorothy Evelyn. Her mother's side of the family had another name picked before her father slipped in his choice. So for years she was known as "Jackie Doris" to the Grays and "Ollie Jo" to the Whites or "Jo Gal" to her beloved father. Several years later, she became a sibling to the adored "Vida Lee," another name created by her father. Lee was the perfect little sister! She followed her big sister's lead, generally speaking, except when Jo would push their mother too far and Lee could see a spanking coming or that most dread of punishments having to kiss and make up and then sit in the same room without speaking unless it were something loving and kind. Then there was beautiful and blonde Ira Lou, called Lulu, who was precocious, beautiful, blue eyed and charming whose death was a trauma for the whole extended family just as Dorothy Evelyn's had been. Then came Martha Ann; by this time Jo and Lee had realized what a bum rap they had been given, name wise, and convinced their mother that they should get to name the baby after their favorite playmate, Martha Ann, a dear, delightful, congenial child, an act which belies the idea that a name on any other child will have the same effect. What is there to say about a woman who lived for longer than she intended, beyond what she called seemly. 94 years- longer than anyone else in her blood family, even longer than Grandma who died on her birthday at 83, (Grandma was always a tidy soul), and well beyond her mother who died at 68 two days after her birthday, and well beyond her father at 57. Unless you go outside our bloodlines, Jo was the first to graduate high school since the exodus from the garden. It isn't that they were lacking in desire, it's just that they were hit by a triple whammy: the Depression, World War II, and being poor to begin with. Within that collective group were some of the most industrious people Jo ever knew: intelligent, generous, and with a work ethic amazing to all. Jo was also the first in the family to graduate from college since probably the Crusades. She did this because of her homemaking teacher, Naomi Philips, and her superintendent, Q.M. Martin, in Carthage, Texas and of course, her family who could only love and encourage her. The superintendent by taking her class from the time they were freshman to their graduation under his wing: tutoring and exposing them to a world they would have never encountered and taking as many as his old brown station wagon could carry. His wife, as a librarian, hand picked their entire library exposure. They had a phenomenal UIL record as well as a travel record. And Mrs. Philips, Jo adored her in spite of the fact that Mrs. Philips did things differently from her mother. Those two women had a strong, albeit guarded, respect for each other, without that neither could have reached Jo. Mrs. Philips could not bear to think this wonderful student of hers would say goodbye to academia at graduation. She went to a judge, Judge Montgomery, to plead Jo's case. The outcome? He called his office and gave her $500 to see Jo through the first year at Texas State College for Women (now TWU) in Denton. $500 doesn't sound like much today, but then it was enough to see her through the year and slightly beyond: paying tuition, books, laundry, room and board, everything. It was a godsend. Jo had found her forever home of education. It wasn't all books, this education. It was social. While there, Jo held every elected office, always as the president, as well as all elected honors except Redbud Queen. The best she could do there was serving as a duchess because she held the office of president of the college government association. She was in her glory. Well, almost. She had four wonderful children with her on again/off again husband Gene Lee. Later in life she was known to say to him, "you know, you remind me a lot of my first husband". Those four D'Aunn, Phillip, LeAnn, and Paula, collectively made up a mother's dream. D'Aunn, beautiful and accomplished- who as an undergraduate, co authored a book that received a Peabody. She became the wife of Bobby Avary and mother of Morgan Ashley. Morgan, of New Braunfels, a beautiful and talented artist and graphic designer, would come as often as she could to play Doris Day for her grandmother and bring whatever else might entice her grandmother out of herself: memories of her mother D'Aunn, who died at 39, an event that was almost but not quite more than a mother could bear. Phillip, who should have been Philip, had his father not filled the birth information out incorrectly, had been named after her beloved Mrs. Philips. Philip, coach extraordinaire, became the husband of Sandra, teacher and nurse, father of Kaennon Lee, father in law to Bailey, both teachers and grandfather of Ezra Lee. LeAnn, a beautiful and talented graphic designer, married Scott and gave birth to Olivia Gray (future English teacher by way of art history), who knew all the lyrics to the musical Cats by the age of three. Noah Forrester, who will do whatever job necessary on his way to becoming a filmmaker: waiter, cleaner of rooms, tour guide, zip line instructor, and box office worker. Both of these children have helped their mother care for their grandmother through her Lewy body dementia, loving and caring, and proving that a person can still enjoy literature and music as she had before. Paula, who, having no middle name, gave herself one: Jane. She became the wife of Michael and the mother of two percussionists, Stanton Dean and John Davis. She got her doctorate in education and was an administrator for a while before returning to the classroom. Jo's sister Lee was also Jo's protector: many an older girl felt the wrath of Lee in her stomach if she picked on Jo. Lee went on to attend Texas State College for Women as well, attending for a year as a math major. A year was all she had promised her mother and Jo before marrying Leon Tate, another college student that Jo had introduced her to. She became the mother to David, who went on to marry Loren, a marriage in which resulted in a daughter, Whitney Lynn. Whitney is married to Bill and has two perfect sons- Peyton Cater and Jonathan Andrew Kirby (called Jak). Both of her sons are percussionists- one by heart, the other by training. David later married Melinda, a special education teacher, and had their son Trevor David. Trevor is married to Mackie Rosen, a nurse practitioner. Jo and Lee's little sister Ann found the perfect fit in her son Sean and her husband George Dean Funston. They lived out their days in Camelot. Sean went on to become a doctor, an anesthesiologist and intensivist in Galveston. He married Michelle Jewell, a special education teacher, and together they became the parents of another perfect Sean, who goes by his middle name Tyler. Sean, Michelle, and Tyler lived out their version of Camelot by the sea until Michelle's death at 44. Tyler is a May graduate of the University of South Carolina and is hoping… Jo's fourth sibling who lived to adulthood was surrogate brother Haskell H. Gray, electrical engineer, who along with his wife Vicki, is father to three extraordinary children. His daughter Jenni, graduate of Julliard but also matriculated Rice University who teaches piano in Houston while raising her three children. Her daughter Carolyn just graduated Texas Tech on a full violin scholarship and will now enter law school. Haskell, alas, died of esophageal cancer complicated by West Nile Virus. Julie is a graduate of Julliard and Justin a graduate of the Eastman School of Music. Both are teachers at their mother's school of music. Other loving relatives include Sue Statser and Sue's daughter Lori. Sue taught special education and Lori is a teacher and principal who collects master's degrees. Don Judd and Patricia Hall special cousins by virtue of marriage and their own love. So, what would you say about a woman who thought she had not contributed very much? Well, she would say, "I did have those four children and teach a lot of children (blind and sighted alike) to make pie crust, to make a perfectly rounded collar, to put in a smooth and unrippled zipper, and to teach a reverence for food other than for survival." And then she would cook an egg with grace, almost a caress; her hands a picture of her mother's and her teacher's. Oh Jo, what did you do? What is the value of a man's life? Nothing more than to start a whole family on a different course, one that will continue hopefully ad infinitum. A family of cousins, aunts, uncles, and children. A Memorial Service will be held on Wednesday, June 25th at 1:00 p.m. at First United Methodist Church, under the direction of Lunn's Colonial. The family welcomes friends to a visitation following the service.