Phyllis Rhudy

Phyllis Jean Rhudy, age 84, of Basehor, Kansas, passed away on Monday, March 3rd, 2025, at her home with her loving husband by her side. Visitation will be from 10:00 to 11:00 a.m. Thursday, March 6th, at the Alden-Harrington Funeral Home. Followed by a Graveside Funeral Service at 11:30 a.m. at the Mt. Muncie Cemetery in Lansing, Kansas. The family requests no flowers. Instead, donations can be made to the Alzheimer's Association.
Phyllis was born on August 12, 1940, in Leavenworth, Kansas, and was the oldest of three daughters born to Robert "Dude" & Hilda (Lurrey) Darling. Phyllis grew up in Leavenworth and graduated from Leavenworth High School in the Class of 1958. She worked for a short time on the Post at Fort Leavenworth and at Foster's Cabinets in Leavenworth. While working at Foster's, she met the love of her life, Delbert Rhudy. They were married on April 11, 1980, and together they made their home in Leavenworth, later Merriam, and lastly in Basehor. Phyllis had worked as a payroll clerk for Lee Jeans in Merriam. She enjoyed gardening, traveling with Delbert to Car Shows, and traveling to her favorite destination, the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Phyllis was very creative and was a talented pianist and wonderful decorator, making their homes beautiful. Above all, Phyllis will be remembered for being exceptionally loving, generous, and kind to everyone, especially her family, whom she loved so dearly. Phyllis was also proud to be a Cancer survivor; she had fought lymphoma for years and was finally cancer-free.
She was preceded in death by her parents and her son-in-law, David Kern.
Survivors include her husband Delbert Rhudy of the home, two children: Pam McCarthy-Kern of Lenexa, KS., Brian McCarthy of Leavenworth, one grandson Rhys McCarthy-Kern of Los Angeles, California. Two sisters: Doris (Moe) Alters of Basehor, KS., and Barbara (Ron) Hagan of Tonganoxie, KS., and an honorary family member, Kathy Focht of Leavenworth, KS.
FOR MY WIFE
You can't talk about Phyllis without talking about us as Husband and Wife.
45 years ago we took our traditional vows.
"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer,
for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part.
Those were the words her sister Barb and my brother Paul heard on
April 11th 1980 at our wedding but there was much more to it.
The words that follow we said in private.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad.
I will honor you all of your days.
I promise to choose you every day for the rest of your life.
I promise to keep you from harm until you are taken from me.
She was my girl, my friend, my confidant and my one true love.
She was brave through all of her health issues, one of the bravest people I know.
She loved living, she loved her family and always wanted them near.
My only solace since she was taken is there is no more pain for her, the
pain is now mine, her death has left a void inside me that will never be filled.
Her loving husband Delbert
For our loving mother (from Brian)
Phyllis, aka Phila, was the matriarch of the Darling family.
Loving mother, wife, grandmother and eldest of 3 Jewish sisters.
She was very proud of her heritage and family meant everything to her.
Years ago Delbert vowed to do everything in his power to keep her out of a nursing facility as she approached her EOL, and he did exactly that.
As she neared the end, he was at her bedside as her caregiver, day and night, in her most difficult times. Pam and I are grateful for that.
She is now free from the horrible chains that bound her here on Earth in her final days, and is no longer suffering. For that, we are all thankful and relieved.
We believe she waited late Sunday night until after Me, Pam, Rhys and Kathy left the house, to finally go in peace with only Delbert at her side.
Heaven has gained an angel who will forever be in our hearts.
Until we meet again, may she find solace among the stars, and be free from all pain and suffering.
From Pam – Phyllis's daughter:
It's hard to imagine that our beloved Mom is gone. We've been so lucky to love and be loved by her. Mom was beautiful inside and out – an exceptionally kind and loving person. It was such a gift to have her as our mom, and for Rhys to have her as his grandma.
When we were kids, Brian and I were convinced that Mom had superhuman powers. She went to great lengths to make sure we didn't get into trouble. When we were in junior high and started going to boy-girl parties, Mom would ask if the parents would be home. We'd always say "yes," and shortly after dropping us off, she'd call and ask to speak to the parents. If they weren't there, she'd be at the door in two minutes flat to take us home. We always lived more than two minutes away, and this was long before cell phones and things like the KCI Cell Phone Waiting Lot, so we never were sure how she got there so quickly. In our minds, we couldn't understand what she thought might go wrong with a bunch of 13–14-year-old boys and girls at a gathering with no parental supervision. When we got older, we got it – and were glad she did what she did.
Mom was very artistic. She was a wonderful seamstress and made many of our clothes when we were kids, and she was a wonderful decorator and crafter who worked hard to make our homes beautiful. Mom was also an accomplished pianist. Her favorite song to play was Malaguena but our favorites were Bobcat Boogie, Alley Cat, and the theme from Batman that always got us jumping around the room wearing capes.
Mom had a great sense of style, and when I was in grade school, before I'd developed my own sense of style, she'd often buy me really cool outfits but if they were something I wasn't seeing my friends wear, I'd give her and the outfit the side eye. So she'd tell me that she'd just seen Laurie Partridge in a magazine wearing that exact outfit – and of course I'd then wear it. She was smart and knew how to get the results she wanted.
When I moved to Kansas City after college, Mom and I started a tradition of weekly lunch and shopping dates, later mixed with girls' getaways in KC and Minnesota, Aveda spa days, Mexican dinners, and many nights binging HGTV and chick flicks. Mom's favorite movie was The Blind Side, and I think we watched it together at least 15 times.
Mom was fiercely devoted to her family. She went to great lengths to create and maintain special traditions, from holiday gatherings with the whole extended family to everyday events with our immediate bunch. I remember when she first told me about meeting Delb, the love of her life and the man who would be at her side for 45 years. She described him as kind of a lumberjack and teddy bear – I could tell from the way she talked about Delb that with him, she felt beautiful, cherished, and protected. She loved being a wife, mom, and grandma.
Mom was ecstatic when Rhys was born. She doted on him and always did special things, spoiling him in the most wonderful ways, creating games for them to play, sewing and making charming decorations for his baby nursery, making sure to have his favorite treats on hand when we visited, making plates of cookies for Santa, and so much more. Mom was also a devoted dog mom to Nikki and dog grandma to Jack - she loved her fur babies.
As Mom developed more health issues over the past few years and couldn't get around as easily, we still had frequent outings. It was such an amazing gift, after living away for so many years, to be able to be closer to her and spend more time with her. As I got older and most of my friends' parents had passed on, it was never lost on me how lucky I was to still have my mom.
Mom taught us many things – financial responsibility, housekeeping skills, how to be a good and loyal friend, how to make the best bourbon balls, the importance of fostering closeness in the family, the art of dropping a well-timed swear word, and so much more. But the most important thing she taught us was how to show up for others. Mom was one of the most selfless, loving, and generous people you might ever meet. If anyone needed anything, Mom was the first person to show up to do anything she could to help. She was exceptionally organized, and she got things done – she truly was the matriarch of our family.
Thank you, Mom, for loving us the way you did. I will love you, honor you, and miss you, every day for the rest of my life.
From Rhys (Phyllis's grandson)
I don't think there is a person on Earth who is as kind, caring, and loving as my grandma was. I will always remember how often she would call us when my parents and I were driving from Minnesota to Kansas, just checking in to make sure our trip was going smoothly. She would warn us about any traffic or weather incidents we should know about and would make sure she was always updated with the time we thought we would be arriving. When we would pull into the driveway, she would already be standing outside with the garage door open waiting for our arrival. When it was time for us to head back home, she would stand in the driveway and wave to us until we were all the way down the road and out of sight. My grandma loved her family immensely and would give the world to make sure that everybody was safe and sound.
While family was always her top priority, I think the Chiefs were a close second. Whenever the Chiefs would play when I was in town, we would sit in her TV room together so we could watch the game. Every time we would talk on the phone during football season, one of her first questions was always "Did you see the Chiefs game?". I honestly think she loved football just as much as I did. She loved watching Patrick Mahomes play and would always talk to me about how good he was. I'm happy she got to see them bring home a couple of Super Bowls, if only they could have done it one more time this year
Grandma never failed to make me laugh. Whether it was one of her quips, a perfectly timed swear word, or her making a goofy face for a photo, she always knew how to bring smiles out. She was the type of person who was funny without even trying to be. She had a big sweet tooth, which I did not know until halfway through my childhood when I wondered why every time I brought a sweet treat on our road trips to visit her, there would be less and less of my treat remaining each day even if I hadn't touched it. At first, I was very confused, but I thought it was so funny after my mom revealed that Grandma was the reason my desserts were slowly disappearing. If she were Superman, her kryptonite would have been pie. She would always make me laugh on Thanksgiving because before any of us had taken more than a couple bites of our food, she would be asking if we were having pie for dessert. Even in her final days, she managed to make me laugh, with her eyes widening as far as they could and glimmering with excitement after hearing me mention apple pie. Even in the saddest of days, she was still able to make everybody laugh and smile.
I am very grateful that I got to have her in my life. She taught me how to treat people with respect, supported me through all of my endeavors in life, and loved me unconditionally. I will miss so many things about her, from the Velveeta mac n cheese and hot dog breakfasts she would make me as a kid, to the excitement and joy she would get whenever we would bring our dog Jack to her house to stay. I already miss her so much but take comfort in knowing that she is always watching over us. I love you forever Grandma.