Ray E. Vander May Sr.

Ray E. Vander May Sr. July 18, 1930 – May 25, 2025
It is with heavy hearts that we announce the passing of Ray E. Vander May Sr., age 94, of Blairstown, NJ. Ray, more commonly called Dad or Poppy, was a devoted husband, father, brother and friend, a proud grandfather and great-grandfather. Ray passed away peacefully in Newton, NJ on May 25, 2025.
Ray was born in Paterson, NJ, to the late Nicholas and Edith (Martin) Vander May, on July 18, 1930. Ray grew up on a farm in Little Falls, NJ, where he developed a lifelong love for animals, especially horses. Ray and his siblings were shaped by their father's businessman's work ethic, which Ray carried throughout his own life.
In storybook fashion, Ray fell in love with the girl next door (to his older brother's home), Sharon. They met at the ages of 13 and 15, and began dating at the ages of 15 and 17. Ray and Sharon also both worked at the Little Falls Laundry, Ray's father's, Nicholas Vander May's, family business. Ray graduated from Montclair Kimberly Academy, class of 1948.
After marrying his beloved wife in 1950, Ray and Sharon settled in Cedar Grove, NJ, where they raised their family on the principles of love, laughter, and hard work. While beginning their family, Ray attended and graduated from Fairleigh Dickinson University. Following in his father's footsteps, Ray became a dedicated businessman, owning and operating the successful Essex Rug Company in Bloomfield, NJ. His work ethic, perseverance and commitment to his craft made the company a staple in Essex County for many years.
Ray worked tirelessly not only for his business but for his family. He gifted his children fond memories of his business: sliding down the carpet shoot, getting soda from the machine at his shop, and eating burgers at the shop from the diner around the corner. Ray would spend long hours working then traveling to and from his beloved shore house in Mantoloking, NJ, ensuring his family could create special memories together at the house, beach and ocean. The time spent forged a strong sibling bond between his children: a bond lasting the challenges of a lifetime and a bond that would make Ray proud.
Ray spent much of his time with his children teaching them skills: learning how to drive, (even if it was on the tractor), how to do many types of home repairs and maintenance, from sweating pipes to drywall, to yard work or working on the lawnmower. Most importantly, Ray was passing on capability, confidence and independence.
With his love for the outdoors, Ray had a boat and enjoyed fishing and gardening: Yet another list of passions shared with his children and grandchildren. Ray spent time fishing with his family over the years, anywhere from saltwater at the beach or the bay, to the freshwater river or ice fishing in Maine. Ray also took great pride in his gardens at every home throughout his life. Ray grew both vegetables and many types of flowers.
Ray was always willing to be hands-on and come assist in any way he could. Whether it was giving his young sons baldy sour haircuts, or trimming his daughters' bangs, teaching his children about the stock market, or helping his children with their own homes as adults, he was always there. Ray and Sharon even bought a house in Maine to spend time with and assist Sharon's parents as they aged: another place that led to more family memories. Ray instilled both his grit and family dedication in his children: lessons they still carry and have passed to his grandchildren as well.
In the late 1990s, Ray and Sharon moved to Blairstown, where they spent their golden years. Even in his late years, Ray could often be found riding his John Deere tractor or lawnmower, tending to his property with the same care and precision he applied to every aspect of his life. If he was not outdoors, Ray was spending time with his beloved dogs and cats, or working on home improvements. Those close to Ray were not surprised to find him installing wood floors and kitchen cabinets at 88 years old. Ray and Sharon were married for 73 years before her passing in April 2024: a love story that spanned decades and was an inspiration to all who knew them.
Ray's family was everything to him, and he was truly blessed with a large and loving one. He is survived by his three sons, Ray E. Vander May Jr. (Patti), Bryan Vander May (Cindy), and Douglas Vander May (Arlene), and two daughters, Cheryl Hollman (Harry) and Laurel Vander May.
Ray was a proud grandfather of 8: Bryan Jr., Nicole, and Sharyn Vander May; Ryan Vander May; Heather Pozzolano; Kimberly Harty; Kenneth Vander May Sr.; and Tara Gamas.
He was also blessed with 14 great-grandchildren: Scott Jr. and Shelby Harty; Khloe, Kenneth Jr., and Leona Vander May; Aja and Isaiah Gamas; Pasquale, Giselle, and Gabriella Pozzolano; Wyatt and Savannah Vander May; Anthony Reardon; and Christopher Albanese.
In addition to his immediate family, Ray is survived by his brother, Ralph Vander May and his brother-in-law Robert Archibald. He was predeceased by his beloved wife Sharon, his parents, two sisters, Wilma Archibald and Marilyn Ostendorf, a brother, George Vander May, and his brother-in-law, Fritz Ostendorf.
Ray will be remembered as a man of great character, a hard worker, a devoted family man, and the best teacher any child could hope for in a parent. He leaves behind a legacy of love, dedication, service, and strength that will continue to inspire his family and will surely echo for generations to come.
Relatives and friends are invited to pay their respects on Monday, June 2nd, from 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM at the Newbaker Funeral Home. A funeral service will follow at 1:00 PM, with interment to follow at the New Cedar Ridge Cemetery, Jacksonburg Road, Blairstown.
Services have been entrusted to Newbaker Funeral Home. To plant a beautiful memorial tree in memory of Ray, please visit our Tree Store.