Tobie Helene "Anastasia" Patmas

In Loving Memory of Tobie Helene Miller Patmas "Anastasia" The Beautiful Hat Lady and Belle of the Ball July 21, 1942 – October 6, 2025 With grace, flair, and a heart full of courage, Tobie Helene Miller Patmas-known to many as "Anastasia," the Beautiful Hat Lady and Belle of the Ball-has taken her final bow. Born to Sidney and Anne "Buddy" Miller on July 21, 1942, Tobie's life was a vibrant tapestry of elegance, activism, and unwavering love.
Time for Learning and Leading
Tobie graduated from Columbus High School in Maplewood, New Jersey, and earned her Liberal Arts degree from Mt. Ida College in Newton, Massachusetts. Her education was the foundation for a lifetime of advocacy, creativity, and fearless exploration. Tobie was very active in charity work over the years. She donated her time at the Specialized Hospital for Children in Toms River, and Providence House of Catholic Charities (for abused women). Tobie was also a member of the Jewish Community Center of Long Beach Island.
Time for Love and Devotion
On a December day, in 1974, Tobie married George Patmas, her dearly beloved husband who brought her much happiness. She called him the love of her life, and her life was forever changed. Their bond was one of deep admiration and joyful companionship. Tobie often said, "I never knew there was love like this before," and their union and realty business was a testament to that truth. Her best friend Linda Sclarow recalls, "They were so close you'd always call their names together: Tobie and George or George and Tobie. Their love was beautiful." George's kindness and strength gave Tobie the wings to soar-especially after his passing, when she ventured south, living in New York City, New Orleans, Arkansas, and Paradise Island in The Bahamas.
Time for Adventure and Impact
In New Orleans, she was celebrated as the "Belle of the Ball." In The Bahamas, she became "The Pretty Hat Lady," an honorary Bahamian whose style and spirit lit up every room. Whether on the tennis courts, volunteering for women's rights in New Jersey, speaking up for friends and family or marching for justice in Alabama-where she nearly faced arrest in 2018-Tobie's courage was legendary. She stood tall for her family, her friends, and the causes against injustice, in which she believed. Anastasia was a protector; when she loved you, you knew it!
Time for Beauty and Boldness
Tobie's signature, red lipstick, and elegant hats weren't just fashion statements, they were declarations of joy and individuality, which were always apparent within her stern speech and child-like laughter. Her presence was magnetic, and she was frequently interviewed. The New York Times – in The Fashion, featured Tobie "Among the Bright Lights of Times Square," a resident living mere steps from the dreamy bright lights and bustling streets. In her article, Tobie describes one of NYC's greatest joys, "I meet people from all over the world – actors from shows when I'm getting coffee," additionally reminding the world: "Age doesn't matter..."
Time to Remember
Tobie was preceded in death by her beloved husband, George Patmas. Left to mourn are her stepson Michael Patmas (Terri) of Hawaii; beloved brother and Ambassador of Goodwill for Aruba, Dick Miller (Deborah) of Florida; her beloved sister, Judith Miller of New York; niece, Amber (Nicholas) of Nevada; beloved cousins Richard Miller, Joseph Myers (April) and devoted cousin, Trudy Grossman (Marcia Clark) of Florida. Tobie was predeceased by her nephew, Garrett. She is also remembered by family and friends, including Linda, Toby, Cathy, Becky, Fenton and Kayton (her "adopted granddaughter"), Antoinette, Georgette and Virginia, and Mary-whose love and loyalty sustained her final days.
Tobie's life was a celebration of beauty, bravery, and boundless spirit. She danced through decades with a brave elegance, leaving behind a legacy that will forever inspire.
"She wore her hats like crowns, and her heart like a torch."
Rest in radiant peace, Anastasia. We love you and God loves you more.
You will always be the Belle of our hearts.
In accordance with Anastasia's wishes, all services were celebrated privately, she was laid to rest alongside her husband George under traditional Jewish customs in Ocean County Memorial Park, 1722 Silverton Rd., Toms River, NJ. All arrangements were entrusted to the care of the Carmona Bolen Home for Funerals, 412 Main St., Toms River, NJ. Condolences may be expressed to the family by visiting www.carmonabolenfh.com.