David Ross

1947 - 2025

David Gerritt Ross was born on December 1, 1947, in Manhattan Beach, New York City, to Lee and Joe Ross. He and his brother, Kenneth, were raised in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn.

David attended Brooklyn College and CUNY. In the late 1970s, he met Phyllis Boyson in Redwood City, California, where their jobs with San Mateo County overlapped-as did their swim lanes at the local YMCA. They married in 1982 and built a life together in Napa, where they raised two daughters. Their home was filled with books, a thriving garden, and frequent family camping trips. David and Phyllis believed in encouraging their children's passions while also embracing fun, balance, and service to others.

Though their marriage ended in 2001, David's life entered a joyful new chapter in 2015 when he met Barbara Mahan. Together, they traveled the country in their beloved camper, affectionately named "Little House," and cherished every moment spent with their grandchildren: Hugo, Aiden, Zoe, and Everett. At home, David and Barbara loved writing, tending basil plants and strawberry patches, and volunteering with Meals on Wheels, always baking elaborate batches of homemade treats to accompany their deliveries.

David is survived by his wife, Barbara; his daughters, Emily and Sabrina; his son-in-law, Michael Grafton; his grandchildren, Zoe Ross and Everett Ross Grafton; his stepchildren Coty Meibeyer, Bob Billingsley, Leland and Karen Carr, and Melissa and Ty Meibeyer Miller; and his step-grandchildren Hugo Billingsley and Aiden Meibeyer Miller. He is also survived by his brother, Kenneth Ross and niece Jennifer Mei Ross Shih.

David devoted his career to social work, beginning with roles as a teacher and cab driver before dedicating himself fully to supporting others through life's challenges. He worked in a wide range of settings-from quadriplegic care units to adult protective services-but his most meaningful work was as a hospice social worker. Even in retirement, while facing his own cancer diagnosis, he continued to volunteer with hospice patients, offering them compassion and companionship at life's end.

Nature was David's constant joy. He explored it with deep reverence, and some of his lifelong favorites included Skyline Park in Napa and Anza-Borrego in Southern California. His spiritual foundations included not just connection with nature, but a rich blend of faiths: He was raised as an atheist Jew, joined the Napa/Solano Unitarian Universalist congregation for 20 years while raising children and he found Buddhism mid-life which also became a cornerstone of his spiritual life.

He held a fierce solidarity with the oppressed and vulnerable, and a firm belief in justice and compassion.

David believed in loving and being loved as one's full, imperfect self. He could be stubborn, obsessive, and-like many-sometimes feared rejection. But he was also brave, strong, and profoundly honest. He believed that all feelings were valid teachers, but that love and gratitude should, in the end, be what embrace and guide us.

He was a wonderful man, and we will miss him deeply.

Memorial donations may be made in David's honor to Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, or the World Food Program. David Ross