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for D. POTTS
Jonnet Abeles
March 26, 2022
Jonnet Abeles
February 18, 2022
03.19.2021 AROUND THE ISLAND
`We were each other´s everything´:
A remembrance of D. Gordon Potts
By Janet Roach
ON OUR FIRST date, he took me to Home Depot. I´d never been to Home Depot, but I know rapture when I see it. And rapture it was. Gordon was filling his eyes with tools and buckets and motor oil as we marched toward the toilet tanks, the object of this particular exercise.
We were unloading his purchases in a pelting rain when the phone rang inside his Little Ram Island house. Gordon dropped his end of the toilet tank box on my foot and ran to answer the call. It was of course a friend offering to introduce the newly-widowed Gordon to a woman who would be "perfect" for him.
When a friend called the next day to ask me how the date had gone, I told him the above. I heard an intake of breath, then a long moment of silence as the friend centered himself in the Buddhism he had adopted. Finally, he spoke: "At least he´s not flying under false colors."
Thus began what would turn out to be more than two decades of adventure and a joyful if somewhat eccentric life together.
DGP - or "My Honey" as I came to call him - was at least as impressed that I kept a vegetable patch as he was with my professional accomplishments. I was impressed with the fact that he, unlike many men nearly 20 years my senior, had a beautiful head of white hair, plus his own heart and knees.
And I was more than impressed by his droll wit, his gentle wisdom, his gentlemanly manners and the light that came into his eyes when he spoke of his native New Zealand. I even came to appreciate the broad streak of Calvinism that seemed to emanate from his very soul.
He liked my cooking and the casual comfort of my Baldwin Road home.
Gordon was internationally renowned as a neuroradiologist; I came from the arts. Over the summer of 1995, I introduced him to the work of Calvin Trillin and Garrison Keillor.
He introduced me to Ngaio Marsh, the New Zealand mystery writer. And he thoroughly enjoyed the rapid repartee over a dinner gathering that included some colleagues from my days as a CBS 60 Minutes producer. The next morning, as I threw his bow line to my 60 Minutes mentor in Congdons Creek, Phil shouted from his deck, "You´d better keep that one."
Gordon and I were married on March 2, 1996. A snowy day, the usual sounds of Shelter Island in winter muffled but for cardinals and chickadees alighting at my bird feeder. I dug under the fluff to gather snowdrops and make them into a boutonniere for Gordon´s lapel. In late afternoon, just as the sky cleared to a glorious sunset, we said our vows before Judge Hannabury, then celebrated with a dinner by the fire at the Ram´ s Head Inn.
Thereafter, our Shelter Island life took flight. We threw "New Zealand farm-house" dinners for the benefit of the Historical Society. Gordon spit-roasted an entire lamb, using a motor to drive the spit until about 10 minutes before the guests arrived. Then he´d hide the motor and put a handle on the spit so that all would think he´d been turning it throughout the day. Most years, many of the guests - a la Tom Sawyer - asked to take turns.
We watched young talent bloom at the Perlman Music Camp. We danced at Mashomack´s annual fundraiser. We weeded and helped distribute vegetables at the Sylvester Manor CSA. Gordon chaired the Ram Island Association through a controversy over zoning issues on the Ram Islands.
And there were his oysters. He was recruited to the SPAT program´s efforts to replenish the shellfish stocks in the Peconic estuary system and took great pride in monitoring the salinity rates of the water, the growth rates of the oysters and the survival rates of his early efforts.
Every spring, he floated a thousand baby oysters off the end of our dock. Each fall we threw an "oyster fest" for friends. Raw, roasted in the French manner, in shots of icy vodka, guests gobbled down hundreds of oysters. When the last guests left, we debriefed. "Well," Gordon would say modestly, "I think that was a success, don´t you?"
"Success enough," I´d answer, "that crashers showed up."
Winters we spent in New Zealand, where Gordon owned a 100-acre tract of native bush on the North Island´s Doubtless Bay. He had had his shoulder to the wheel throughout his long, distinguished career.
Taming the place we called Fern Hill - after the Dylan Thomas poem that draws a perfect picture of him as a lad - had been the only dream he allowed himself. It was our shared hope to make that dream come true. We did.
It was isolated - a mile up, and 1,000 feet up to the gate of our little two-room cottage. The nearest neighbors were more than a mile away through the bush. But we had a quarter of a mile of shoreline for fishing and swimming and exploring, heard kiwis in the night and saw the Milky Way through the skylight over our bed.
There is no such thing as marriage-lite in such circumstances. Gordon and I were each other´s everything. Alone together amid the tree ferns and the pohutukawa trees, our connection to each other, our trust and joy in each other, deepened and deepened. We thrived on the mutual devotion.
In early February, 2015, my beloved DGP was diagnosed with Alzheimer´s Disease. It was an unutterable irony that so brilliant a neuroscientist would be stricken with so cruel a neurological disease.
Praise heaven that we had shared so rich and gratifying a life together for so long. Those memories didn´t erase the pain but they did stand us in good stead as he was whirled further and further into the mists.
Gordon died March 6. May flights of angels sing him to his rest and may his kind, wise and gentle soul dwell in the glorious beauty of his native New Zealand forever and ever.
Geoff Annan
January 9, 2022
Gordon and my mother Alison were cousins - as mum used to say - "my favourite cousin". Gordon's father Les and mum's father Bert were brothers and served together in France in WW1 with the New Zealand Army. As I understand, they were both wounded at the Somme and Bert carried Les to safety on his back. From there they both went to the Potts family farm in Ireland to recover, although Les lost a leg consequent on his wounds.
On return to NZ both brothers acquired dairy farms. Les's wife Vera Morgan was I understand from the Morgan family who had a dairy farm across the road from Bert's farm at Peria near Matamata. Les and Vera's farm was between Ngaruawahia and Taupiri in the Waikato, and it was here that Gordon was born and grew up with his siblings Keith and Joy.
Leap forward some 70 years or so and I first met Gordon and his dear wife Janet at their property at Pahoia Beach which they called Bruntwood. My wife Stephanie and I together with our then baby twin sons spent many a happy time at Bruntwood. Gordon was a dab hand on the barbecue, and each and every occasion was festive and happy - Gordon was very proud of his vege garden, not least his home grown Cliff's Kidney spuds. My parents Ray and Alison loved being there with Gordon and Janet, enjoying their company and excellent hospitality, as did my siblings and hangers on. Clearly, this was a place of love and contentment personified by the unquestionable love between Gordon and Janet.
I have a photo in my office of Gordon, simply enjoying life at Bruntwood astride his beloved 4 wheeler motorbike, pith helmet firmly atop his head. That is how I remember him, together with his keen and enquiring mind, his love of the land, and his love for Janet.
Janet, Stephanie and I and my siblings et al - Marcus and Colleen, Christine and Mana, Marcia and Mike, Freda, and Philip and Steph, arohanui to you in remembrance of a fine man.
Ian and Bev Shoosmith
December 30, 2021
Ian and I met Gordon and Janet at Fern Hill not long after they built their cottage there. Ian used to assist Gordon with planting the gardens and Olive Trees and there was always Janet's summer garden of herbs , tomatoes etc.
Gordon lived in Morrinsville when he was a lad and used to catch a train to go to College in Hamilton. I used to go to the same college ( a bit later than Gordon) and we would have chats about , the trains, the teachers, how cold the winters were.
Ian and I often spent a Sunday at Fern Hill, enjoying Gordon's 3 brick chicken and the wonderful dishes Janet made to go with the chicken. They both enjoyed entertaining lots of friends and we all had a great time.
Ever generous, when I went on my belated O.E. in 2000 with my sister we stayed over for four days in Janet's apartment just off Broadway. What an experience it was .
We really miss Gordon and Janet and the lovely summers we spent with them and were saddened when Gordon got so ill and Janet had such a struggle. We have kept in touch with Janet and wish her well for the future.
Kathy Sulkes
December 28, 2021
My first memory of Gordon was when he came round to Baldwin Road, when I was visiting Janet, and he was coming to pick from her garden one summer evening....I knew something was up. You could feel the crackle of electricity...of something in the offing....that summer proved to be the cementing of a love that became 2 decades of marriage and adventure.
Gordon´s love of the land and sea - whether New Zealand or Shelter Island - was what bonded them. The bounty that they gave to others - their oysters, their friendship, their love - was a great gift.
Gentle Gordon...he is so missed. Janet cared for him in his last years as you can only do if you love someone deeply. The way in which he was spirited away from her is beyond comprehension. We all missed saying goodbye, to a warm and honorable man. But the wonderful memories of Gordon on his tractor, puttering around the property, tying up the oyster beds will remain with us.
Andrew Carlsen
December 27, 2021
Gillian and I have many fond memories visiting Janet and Gordon while at our home on Shelter.Their love foreach other was always wonderful.
We miss our Kiwi neighbour.I also can not forget the outstanding contribution Gordon made in the field on neurological imaging.Truly amazing.
Rest In Peace Gordon
Pete Zimmermann
December 27, 2021
Many of you have heard this story before but I will tell it again because it says so much about the life and love that Gordon and Janet shared.
I was kayaking in Doubtless Bay and noticed this charming little cove with a charming little batch (vacation cabin in US speak). I was entranced. I decided I had to see this place and meet these folks. So..... I poured my water bottle into the sea and went ashore to beg water for a parched seafarer. I was, of course, met with compassion, generosity and kindness. Not only was I offered fresh cold water but I was shown around and offered more substantive refreshment! We, of course, fell into conversation.... And the rest is history. We became friends.... In New Zealand, then in our home in Vermont, and finally in Connecticut. We shared many afternoons and evenings, and not a few "morning afters" and came to know each other well. I can only hope that Danielle and I enriched the lives of Janet and Gordon as much as they enriched ours. I know for a certainty that their love for each other was deep and real and a joy to be around. The conclusion to the little vignette I told above is that it took almost no time at all before I confessed and admitted to them that I had deliberately poured out my water so that I would have an excuse to come ashore.... And we all shared a hearty laugh about it. Perhaps that says as much as anything can about the good humored loving kindness that inhabited their world, directed at each other and enveloping all who came in contact with them.
My hope is that there is an afterlife so that they can be reunited, preferably somewhere in the New Zealand bush!
Jonnet Abeles
December 27, 2021
Thinking back to Sundays on Shelter Island relaxing with Gordon and Janet. The crossword puzzle must already be finished. . . .
Denis
May 3, 2021
Claire, my wife, expressed earlier here exactly what we all feel in the family.
The memories we have with Gordon and Janet are unforgettable and describe exactly who they were and the truth of their life together.
They have been essential to our three children during summer time on Shelter Island and we remember each simple and precious moment we shared with them including the barbecues on the terrace, the crab baskets and the gull we would feed from the deck.
Life is unexpected but people will never be able to hide the truth nor damage your and our genuine memories.
We loved Gordon as a wonderful, authentic and generous man and we will keep this strong picture in our hearts.
I wish life will give us the opportunity to see you again, Janet and remind you how much we care for you.
Love
Denis
Bill Friedman
April 27, 2021
Janet and Gordon shared for more than 20 years a marriage which was happy, loving and wholly mutually supportive. And that Janet gave Gordon a life of enjoyment and security, surrounded by countless friends; a full and interesting life he would never have imagined or achieved otherwise.
Linda and I enjoyed many good times, dining, boating and conversing with Janet and Gordon here on Shelter Island. Additionally, my late wife and I earlier visited them at stunning Fernhill fronting Doubtless Bay on New Zealand's North Island. Their Kiwi life, so close to nature, was an adventure to behold. They were so obviously happy together there. The memory brings a smile to my face even now.
There is no reason any of us should remember Janet and Gordon's 20 loving years together in any other way.
Bill Friedman and Linda Kofmehl
Andy Carlson
April 27, 2021
Always remarkable and entertaining!
Andy Carlson
Tom Hines
April 27, 2021
A great and interesting man.
Irony: have his oyster t shirt with me in Mexico. Wore it yesterday and spent a large part of the day thinking about him and good times we all had on Shelter. A toast to Gordon!
Tom Hines
Mark Palinski
April 27, 2021
He was a pioneering international figure in Radiology.
It was fun hearing him discuss the innovations he took part in.
Humble guy, great composter, gardener and generous Kiwi.
It was an honor to know him.
Mark Palinski
Jonnet Abeles
April 21, 2021
Memories of Gordon
To the Editor of the Shelter Island Reporter:
When we moved to Shelter Island in 1998, I was delighted to discover that Janet Roach — a longtime friend and colleague from our days at CBS News — was living here. But an even greater delight was getting to know her husband, Gordon Potts. Through the years, Phyllis and I spent many joyous evenings in their company.
When Janet emailed me with the sad news about Gordon’s death, I was engulfed in a flood of happy memories I have of that dear, gentle man, who never lost his love for his native New Zealand. Here’s just one of those recollections.
One Saturday in May, Phyllis and I hosted a cocktails-and-hors d’oeuvres party at our home on the afternoon of the running of the Preakness Stakes, the second leg in the Triple Crown of horse racing, at the Pimlico track in Baltimore.
As the horses and jockeys moved toward their post positions, a group of us eagerly clustered around the television set in our den to watch the race. We didn’t have long to wait, for suddenly the gates opened and we heard the familiar cry, “They’re off!”
As it happened, Gordon was standing next to me on my right, and as we intently gazed at the thoroughbreds galloping past the grandstand and toward the clubhouse turn, he turned to me and whispered, “You know, I used to ride a horse to school every day.”
That struck me as so improbable that I thought I didn’t hear him clearly. So I whispered back, “Excuse me, Gordon, but did you just tell me that when you were a kid in New Zealand, you rode a horse to school?”
“Yes, that’s what I said. It was no big deal.” Then after a pause, he added, “A lot of us rode horses to school in those days. It was fairly common.”
I was so entertained by his revelation that I lost interest in the Preakness and as soon as it was over, I peppered Gordon with questions about his boyhood and especially about his equine approach to education. He happily elaborated on the subject of his long-ago school days and I was enthralled by his reminiscences.
He was quite a guy.
GARY PAUL GATES, Shelter Island
Leslie Czeladko
April 16, 2021
Claire Quimbrot
April 8, 2021
Spending time with Janet and Gordon was always a highlight of our summers on Shelter Island.
Julien, Elliot and Isabel couldn’t wait to visit them. Gordon always treated them like his own grandchildren. Taking them on tractor rides, and once they were old enough letting them drive on their own, regaling them with stories of riding his pony to school, digging up rainbow potatoes and picking tomatoes, feeding Marvin the seagull and checking the crab basket; it was always an adventure with him!
Janet always fed us excellent food, but the ultimate treat was always Gordon’s special root-beer floats.
He will forever be in our hearts.
Jonnet Abeles
March 28, 2021
This is one way I will remember Gordon.
Colin Salt
March 23, 2021
I knew Gordon for a very long time.
We owned the property beside Gordon’s “Fernhill” for over 46 years. We met Gordon one one of his regular annual 3 month New Zealand Summer vacations and we established a firm lasting friendship. Like Gordon and his wife we were not permanent residents as our home was in Auckland. Gordon’s wife passed away and for a long time Gordon was a lost soul on his NZ visits.
Then one December he rang from the States and told me he had a little surprise to show us once he arrived up north. The surprise turned out to be a very lovely one in the form of Janet. It was obvious that Janet and Gordon were very close and over the years we watched that love grow. In 2000 we built a new home on our property and moved to the Far North permanently. In 2002 I lost my wife to cancer and Gordon and Janet helped me through those bad times. Years later I met June and she and Janet became great close friends.
In the summer months the four of us spent much time together. It was obvious that Gordon and Janet were inseparable, very close and totally in love. Every year when they returned to New York they had a “clean out the freezer” lunch for all their many NZ friends. A highlight on anyone’s yearly calendar. Gordon would also serve up his famous “3 brick chicken” (a chicken wrapped in foil sitting on a sheet of corrugated iron over an open fire - on top another sheet of corrugated iron held down by three bricks). Gordon and Janet in latter years sold Fernhill as the maintenance became to great and Janet was terrified he would end up under his beloved tractor as Gordon insisting on working around the 100 acre property. They were so sad to leave the kiwi birds they cherished and all the beutiful bush. We visited them in their new summer home on the sea front near Tauranga. In 2014 June and I stayed at Gordon and Janet’s Shelter Island home and the story of that hilarious fun-filled visit would fill a book.
We are terribly shocked at the sudden turn of events in the last few years and it is an unbelievable tragedy. We were witnesses to a great love story and to say it did not exist is a total travesty. Gordon and Janet’s real friends are uniting and recording the true events of their own experiences to set the record straight and my thanks to you all.
Colin Salt
New Zealand.
Email: [email protected]
Steve Beditz
March 20, 2021
Dear Janet and Friends of Gordon:
I offer condolences on behalf of the Brew Crew, a motley group of 70-something sailors who are malt beverages lovers with a sailing addiction. We’ve sailed together for the better part of three decades and came to know and love Gordon for a significant part of those years.
You see luckily, one of our crew just happens to be Janet’s brother, which many years ago led to an invitation to visit Gordon and Janet at their idyllic home on Coeckles Harbor on Shelter Island as we travelled around Long Island Sound and its environs. For most of us, that was our first introduction to Gordon. To say we were enthralled would be a gross understatement. What a wonderful man: kind, generous to a fault, brilliant but modest, intellectually curious and an absolutely attentive and doting husband. To watch he and Janet interact was to see what a happy marriage should look like and aspire to emulate.
Our stop at their home became an annual rite. When we moved to a boat that drew too much to safely navigate Coeckles, Janet’s dear friend Janet Hawkins (dubbed “The Admiral”) made arrangements for us to berth at the Shelter Island Yacht Club. Our visits extended to two nights, invariably involving a sumptuous dinner at Gordon and Janet’s and a sail with Gordon, Janet and the Admiral the following day on Gardiner’s Bay. (To anyone who has not been privileged to enjoy Janet’s linguine with clam sauce, prepared with clams she raked just before cooking them, I am truly sorry.)
The sailing was invariably epic. Somehow Gordon always arranged for blue skies and fair winds. They say 90% of all Kiwis grow up within sight of the ocean, and Gordon’s sailing acumen bore that out. The hours spent with Gordon, Janet and the Admiral sharing the helm while the crew tended sails and shuttled snacks and drinks from the galley is a memory none of us will ever forget. Our visits became the high point of the year both for us and, I think, Gordon, Janet and the Admiral.
Janet, the Brew Crew shares your loss. Gordon made an indelible impression, and I can say with confidence we truly loved the man. But our memories are joyful and help buffer our sense of loss. Somewhere on anchor this summer, we will raise a toast to Gordon and all he was.
As the Maori say: haere r, Gordon. You will be missed.
Janet Roach
March 17, 2021
To My Honey by Janet Roach
More than Riley ever loved a mouse,
Or a crime writer loves a clue,
Or Snowy loved the swingle tree,
That’s how much I love you.
I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a piss clam squirts,
I love you more than Hillary is a bore
And more than my heart now hurts.
As a freezing hand loves a nice warm glove,
Or an opening rose loves a bee,
Or a tomato vine loves the sun above,
That’s how much I love thee.
As much as the Brew Crew loves to sail,
As much as Tony loved to trot,
As much as your oysters loved the briny deep,
That and more is how much love for you I’ve got.
I swear to you by all the stars above
And below, if such there be,
As Kuri loves to chase a squirrel
That’s how much you’re loved by me.
I read this poem to my beloved Honey in December, 2017, when he was in hospital with a brain bleed. When I was done, with tears in his eyes, he folded it and placed it next to his heart. For the past three years I have missed him sorely and mourned him deeply. My love abides. and always will. May flights of angels sing him to his rest and may his kind and gentle soul dwell for all eternity in the bright beauty of his beloved native land.
Jonnet Abeles
March 17, 2021
Dear Friends of Gordon and Janet,
My late husband, Sam Suratt, and I met Janet when we three worked at CBS News. We became very close friends, and were thrilled when Janet introduced us to Gordon.
It was obvious they were in love, indeed, so in love it took your breath away.
For the two plus decades they were married, Janet and Gordon and Sam and I enjoyed countless lunches and dinners, and, yes, many, many clam bakes with them.
They clearly enjoyed each other's company, and loved doing things together whether digging for clams or sprucing up their garden. And they obviously both loved their travels back and forth between Shelter Island and New Zealand.
They built a wonderful life together. We were sad when they left Shelter Island.
We continued to see them, though much less frequently, in Old Lyme.
"Janet and Gordon," none of us could ever imagine it wouldn't always be that way.
Everyone should know the true story of Janet's and Gordon's wonderful life together.
Judy Hole Suratt
Marion Swaybill
March 17, 2021
Rest In Peace, cherished friend. The abiding love and gorgeous life you shared with Janet for more than twenty years was an inspiration to all who knew you. May your memory be a blessing.
Joanna Williams
March 17, 2021
Dear Friends of Gordon and Janet,
Let me introduce myself, I am Joanna Williams, daughter of John Williams, who was a Medical School (and life-long) friend of Gordon’s. My dad had nothing but admiration for Gordon and was really happy to meet Janet on their long trips to New Zealand. I was fortunate enough to visit Gordon and Janet at FernHill. A most remarkable place. I remember Gordon and Janet as a loving couple, having fun and enjoying life together! It was heartwarming to hear a constant “m’honey” from Janet when she referred to Gordon. I saw them as a strong couple, welcoming and very much in love. My husband Dave McKay and I visited their home on Ramrock Island when we were adventuring in NYC in 1998 where Janet put us to the test of harvesting clams. Janet visited us years later when we were back home in Karitane. You are always welcome here!
I am so glad that a true picture of Gordon’s life will be published.
Kia kaha,
Michael Coles
March 17, 2021
GORDON
I've been thinking of Gordon
The past week or so,
And every time he crosses my mind
The best I can recall is
How every English he was.
I know,I know, you've corrected me
Several times, sweetly and firmly:
He was a New Zealander, pure and proud
Who would if asked have fought and died
For the Antipodes. But he wasn't asked
And the world is better off for that.
Though still, when I think of him, all I can see
Is English: firm, well-mannered
And thoughtful, lover of his soil,
Steward of his views, calm and controlled
Ready to to help neighbors and passers by.
But one thing I never heard him say
As many newcomers to his country do:
I'm going home next year, home to England.
No, for Gordon, home was where Janet was,
And that's where he'll rest.
With love and sympathy,
MIchael Coles
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