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Peter Esty

1937 - 2020

Peter Esty obituary, 1937-2020, Andover, Ma

BORN

1937

DIED

2020

Peter Esty Obituary

Peter T Esty

Peter Tuckerman Esty, beloved family member and friend, leading educator and head of several independent schools in the US and abroad, died peacefully on November 15, 2020 in Danvers, Massachusetts, of complications resulting from strokes. He was 83.

After graduating from Amherst College in 1959, Mr. Esty worked for just over a decade in business, first in sales and advertising at General Foods Corporation in White Plains, NY, then as a broker and partner at the real estate firm Brotherhood and Higley in New Canaan, CT. At age 34, after vacationing with his brother John and a cohort of his educator friends, Mr. Esty acted on their inspiration and took up what would become his calling for the next fifty years.

Following a yearlong masters program at Harvard Graduate School of Education, Mr. Esty worked for eleven years at his alma mater, Deerfield Academy, in Deerfield, MA, primarily as an English teacher, then as Dean of Faculty. It was perhaps his work directing the Alternate Studies program at Deerfield, with its focus on senior projects and academic-year and summer programs in and out of the US, that fueled Mr. Esty's passion for experiential and international living and learning. He took a one-year leave (1976-1977) during his Deerfield stint to move with his then-young family to Rennes, France, where he taught English to American high schoolers in the School Year Abroad program. That year, which included much travel in and out of France with both his students and family, was revelatory and kindled a decades-long relationship with School Year Abroad that saw Mr. Esty assume various positions, from Interim Resident Director in Viterbo, Italy (2004-2005), to founding Interim Resident Director in Hanoi, Vietnam (2009-2010), and board membership and chair roles in between (2005-2011).

After his time at Deerfield, Mr. Esty embraced a welcome and exhilarating cultural shift when he became Head of School at Packer Collegiate Institute in Brooklyn, NY from 1982-1989. His passions for urban diversity and school leadership ignited, Mr. Esty departed New York for San Francisco to head San Francisco University High School for the next seven years. This move sparked a three-decade love affair with, and intermittent residency in, northern California, which nourished Mr. Esty's unquenchable desire for exploration and adventure. That wanderlust later led Mr. Esty to serve as a one-year Interim Head of The Dalton School in New York, then head of Greens Farms Academy in Westport, CT for five years. Back in California in 2003, Mr. Esty connected with The Bay School in San Francisco for two separate yearlong consultant roles and also became Interim Head at Branson School in Ross, CA for two years. From 1989 forward, through all the far-flung school work, he and his wife Happy kept primary residence in San Francisco, Sausalito, then Santa Rosa, CA until the final months of his life.

Throughout the arc of his career, Mr. Esty was often at the vanguard of much-needed transformation in independent schools, including the clear imperative to advance access, inclusion, justice, and equity in historically homogeneous institutions. His work bridging gaps and dismantling barriers perhaps galvanized in his 1990s leadership, alongside committed San Francisco University High School colleagues, of the Summerbridge National Project (renamed Breakthrough Collaborative).

Mr. Esty served as a trustee or advisor to countless schools and educational non-profits, including Camp Agawam in Raymond, ME; Eaglebrook School in Deerfield, MA; Foote School in New Haven, CT; Hamlin School, Leadership High School and Marin Academy, all in the Bay Area; Global Citizen Year, based in Oakland, CA; and multiple national and state independent school leadership boards. He also inspired and mentored many devoted new and aspiring educators throughout his lifetime.

School colleagues and collaborators cite his openness to possibility, his "rare art" of sharing both "buoyant optimism and positive spirit." He operated with candor, "even if the message was difficult,... [he could] do that with heart and good will." A one-time colleague and lifelong friend wrote to Mr Esty in his final days: "You have such an exuberance for life… new adventures, people. Your fabulous laugh, offered easily and generously, made others find the humor in the moment. Your belief in people, sometimes [for] longer than they deserved... remind[ed] the rest of us to look for the best in others. But you were also direct, [which] kept things down-to-earth and real, when you saw things you did not like or respect. Your heart is huge and, along with your sense of adventure, [so] is your kindness."

It was Mr. Esty's winsome blend of irreverent, playful silliness with deep concern and support for others that endeared him to family, friends, and colleagues alike. He reveled in gatherings and social connection; books, arts, architecture and the exchange of ideas; map study, trip-planning and travel. He laughed readily, often uproariously and to tears, not infrequently at New Yorker cartoons, outrageous children's stories, and himself. His extraordinary partnership with Happy in many ways mirrored their pedagogical values, and was forged through trust, teamwork, shared belief in experience, humanity, multiculturalism, and fairness. Their travels bound all these together, and the two were happiest on the road, with family, friends, students, various dachshunds, and each other. Their journeys and home front lives were sprinkled always with music, forays into the natural world, appreciation for beauty in all its forms and the sustenance that beauty bestows on all humans and our relationships with each other. Always deeply loyal, Mr. Esty was incomparable in his valuing of friendships and relationships, where his humanity and love of life most thrived. Throughout his life, he planned travels around people, once during retirement even spending six months in a conversion van slowly crossing the United States with Happy. They spent no nights in hotels; instead, slept occasionally in their camper, but far more often at the homes of friends they'd known since college or just a short while. So they moved from state to state. He adored time with his family, especially in recent years with his grandchildren in their young adulthoods, ideally on Monhegan Island, ME.

Mr. Esty is survived by his wife and co-adventurer of 57 years, Athalia Barker "Happy" Esty, their three children Jay (and Susan, of Andover, MA), Tuck (of Seattle, WA), Leila Poutiatine (and Peter, of Tetonia, ID), and by five grandchildren, Charlotte and Athalia Esty, and Cameron, Isabella, and Natasha Poutiatine. His three brothers, John, David, and Charles, predeceased him. He was an uncle to twenty-four and a great-uncle to thirty-six.

Mr. Esty's family will wait until the pandemic passes to celebrate his life at a location to be determined. The Esty family hopes that any who are moved to donate in Peter's memory do so to a local educational program or school that serves young people well in your community -- especially those whom society serves poorly.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by San Francisco Chronicle from Dec. 4 to Dec. 6, 2020.

Memories and Condolences
for Peter Esty

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Derek Reisfield

September 20, 2021

A class act in every respect. Respected and influential for being so.

Marina Kaufman

January 2, 2021

My son Doug was at Packer when Peter was head of Packer. Doug was in high school then , going through very tough times. And I as doug’s Mom would go and see him constantly for advice! He was such an incredible head master! I will never forget his wisdom and his kindness towards Doug and his family!
marina kaufman
I will send a contribution in his honor.

Erik Furmark

December 25, 2020

It was sometime in the early 1980s while I was a student at Packer in Brooklyn Heights, NYC . As I was often a < class clown > one time I was sent to the < principal office> as < punishment>. I remember I arrived in his office early told to sit in the chair in front of his desk to wait for him. He was the new principal at the time. I was nervous. Eventually he arrived. He asked my name and why I was there. I answered him. He had known of my family but not me personally. So, my < punishment> actually turned into making a friend an ally. We spoke for the entire class period about personal topics from my handicap mom to my 16 yr old sister passing away in 1981. From that point forward < being sent to principal office as punishment> with Mr. Esty as Headmaster, was worth < getting into any kind of predicament>. I remember him being caring, soft spoken, understanding and fun...a complete person . I hope his daughter Leila is ok. I remember Leila and I were close because I was president of the class and I think she was vice president or something. Feel free to look me up on Instagram Leila. It be nice to reconnect. I'm sorry for your loss. Just know, your dad was a very personable person who was known for caring about others. We need more people like him in this world . I'm so sorry

Charles Gosse

December 16, 2020

I worked for Peter Esty during his year as Acting Headmaster of The Dalton School in New York City from 1997-1998. He radiated good will and made everyone feel welcome. I was tremendously fond of him.

Katherine A MacDonald

December 15, 2020

There are certain people in life that help you become the person you are. Often these people do not even realize the impact they have made. That was Mr. Esty for me. At Packer he encouraged me to always be the best me possible. He did this in the discussions we had (sometimes disciplinary as I was quite full of energy in those days), the simple hallway check-in, the cheering from sports sidelines, and the added smile and wave whenever I was giving a tour of the school to any prospective family. But his greatest impact to my life was when he put my needs above the needs of the school. As I finished up my eighth-grade year (year 6 for me) and started my freshman year I felt like I was at the top of my game: Three-sport Varsity athlete as a freshman, 2nd trumpet in brass band, academically sound, and an embedded part of the Packer community. But Packer had taught me to strive to be the best me possible and I started to wonder if to achieve that staying on my existing path was the right direction. I began looking into boarding schools and the focused learning and academic excellence that I might be able to achieve. Nervously approaching Mr. Esty to get his direction and thoughts on the matter, I was pleasantly surprised at the support and direction and guidance he gave me. He even wrote a recommendation for me that helped get me into The Taft School for my remaining 3 HS years where I then proceeded to focus of Math and Science, graduate on the honor roll, proceed to Northwestern University and graduate as an Environmental Engineer, and have spent a successful career in the field of Computer Science. I tell you all of this to let you know that Peter Esty, just by being the incredible person and educator he was, help set my life's trajectory and for that I will always be grateful. I only hope that I have lived my life the way Mr. Esty did...helping people be their best selves.

RIP Mr. Peter Esty

Love, Prayers, and Thoughts,
Kate Adams MacDonald '91 Packer (but didn't graduate from Packer ;-) )

Group of 10 Memorial Trees

Renee Knight

Planted Trees

Bob Esty

December 10, 2020

We were so sorry to read of Peter's passing and our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. How lucky we were to have Peter visit us last year in Ipswich and catch up with a long lost missing cousin. I hope we will be informed when a memorial service will be held. Would love to see more of the Esty clan
Bob Esty, Wenham, Ma.

Sympathy gifts were selected in loving memory of Peter Esty. To send a gift visit our online store.

CHARLOTTE DOHERTY

Sent Sympathy Gifts including Flowers

Barclay Leib

December 7, 2020

A true gentleman with enthusiasm, wit, and depth, I so enjoyed Peter Esty as my English teacher at Deerfield, and his later friendship in spirit and in life. May his spirit live on in us all. A great soul -- from Deerfield's Ashley House to Rennes, Bretagne to Brooklyn Heights, California, Connecticut, and now to heaven. God bless your vibrant spirit and natural enthusiasm, Peter, that will be missed amidst your mortal survivors -- family, students, and friends.

Louise Gaumond

December 7, 2020

I had the very good fortune to be a neighbor of Peter's on Old Hill Road in Westport. We later moved to Marin, where he became the interim Head of Branson where my children attended. I feel very lucky to have known this fine man and educator on both coasts. Condolences to his family.

Sympathy gifts were selected in loving memory of Peter Esty. To send a gift visit our online store.

Francisco Arango

Sent Sympathy Gifts including Flowers

anne r thornton

December 5, 2020

Peter and I worked together at University High School when I was on the board there in the 80's. Peter inspired me with his upbeat and creative attitude. We worked together on the physical plant aspect of the school. I love when he told the board of University that we need more room at the school, a place to cry for example. That provocative and insightful comment led to a large and effective effort to give the school and everyone there more room to be the school it deserved to be.

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