Thomas J. "Tom" O Neill

Thomas J. O'Neill passed away peacefully on October 5, 2025 in New Haven, CT at the age of 78. He was born on February 12, 1947 in Oregon, WI.

Tom graduated from Edgewood High School in Madison, WI in 1965. He received his bachelor's degree from Lewis University and earned his master's degree from University of Illinois – Chicago. Tom was living in Chicago and pursuing his first career, in social work, when his cousin Joanne Topham made an introduction to her coworker, and his future wife, Rita Adelman.

Rita and Tom were married on January 7, 1973 and they relocated from Chicago to Fort Wayne, IN in 1979. There, Tom joined his late father-in-law Jack and brother-in-law Larry in the Adelman family business, Admetco. Over the next 20+ years, Jack, Larry and Tom grew this scrap metal recycler into a leading processor of non-ferrous metals. Following the sale of Admetco in 2004, Tom and Larry continued their partnership and purchased Deister Concentrator, a manufacturer of mining industry equipment.

Tom's entrepreneurial spirit motivated him in the workplace, and after his oldest son Joshua was born with Down syndrome in 1978, Josh motivated Tom to make a difference in the lives of people with disabilities. This journey started with the founding of The Learning and Development Center in Fort Wayne. At the time, programs for young children with disabilities were limited, therefore, Tom, Rita, and several other parents were determined to create a school with higher standards.

Tom spent 40+ years playing an instrumental role in the Down syndrome community on a local, state and national level. He spent countless hours in Washington advocating for policy reform, and he worked tirelessly to improve educational opportunities for children with disabilities. He held numerous roles with Down syndrome organizations including Board Chair for the National Down Syndrome Congress (NDSC) and the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS).

Tom's passion for disability advocacy never wavered. Later in life, he volunteered his time, taking on high-level roles within multiple not-for-profit organizations including the AWS Foundation in Ft. Wayne, IN (Board Chair) and Chapel Haven Schleifer Center in New Haven, CT. Most recently and until his passing, Tom was Chairman of the Chapel Haven Schleifer Center Board of Directors. Chapel Haven Schleifer Center held a very special place in his heart, as Josh attended and graduated from its postsecondary education program, and has remained in New Haven as a CH community member for over 25 years.

Tom enjoyed discovering different parts of the world with his favorite travel companion, Rita. Whether traveling to see family, catching a sporting event, being on the beach in the Caribbean, or exploring Europe and Asia, Tom was happiest with Rita by his side. One of the biggest journeys Tom and Rita took was relocating from Ft. Wayne to New Haven in 2021.

Two of Tom's biggest interests were reading and diving into political history; He had a vast collection of presidential biographies and signatures. Over the years, he made countless visits to his old stomping ground of Chicago, where his younger son Noah and daughter-in-law Ashley live. Tom cherished the time he got to spend with his three grandchildren Ryan, Max, and Tess, and while in Chicago, he loved getting to Wrigley Field to cheer on the Cubs.

Tom was the beloved husband of 52 years of Rita O'Neill, treasured father of Josh O'Neill and Noah (Ashley) O'Neill and adoring grandfather of Ryan, Max, and Tess. Tom was the loving brother of Liz (Joe) LaBella, the late Pat (late Francis) Gorst, the late Bob (Joyce) O'Neill, and the late Mary (late Bob) Byrne. He was the dear brother-in-law of Leah (Harvey) Ruttenberg and Larry (Carol) Adelman. Tom was the devoted son of the late Jerry and the late Helen O'Neill and son-in-law of the late Jack Adelman. Tom is also survived by many special cousins, nieces, nephews and friends.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Tom's memory may be made to Chapel Haven Schleifer Center using the following link: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/chapelhavenschleifercenter.

Chapel service Monday, October 13, 12:15 PM at Shalom Memorial Funeral Home, 1700 W. Rand Rd, Arlington Heights, IL. Interment to follow at Shalom Memorial Park. For a link to view the service, shiva information, and to leave condolences: www.shalommemorial.org, 847-255-3520.