Lawrence Roger "Larry" Elder

Lawrence "Larry" Roger Elder, age 79, of Belvidere, passed away on Monday, January 16th, 2023, at his farmhouse on Vanzant Bend Road. He was with his wife, Kathy, his granddaughter, Katy Mae, and his beloved great-nephew and fellow-farmer, Jonathan, when he died.
A native of Long Beach, California, he was born on June 14, 1943. Larry spent his childhood and teenage years in Southern California during a tumultuous time of social change and conflict. He had adoring parents, Beverly and Tex, but really had to make his way on his own. As a youngster, he sank a new Thunderbird in the Long Beach Marina; he skipped school and caroused; he and his brother, Jimmy, liked to pull pranks. He liked to live on the wild side. He and his brother were like two peas in a pod, and they remained close their entire lives. His sister, Lynnae, was also a presence in his life. Larry is preceded in death by both his brother and sister. He was a greaser, and then a hippy, a compassionate brother, a committed father, an important uncle to many of his nephews, nieces, and great-nephews; especially Judie Lee and Randy Vinke and David, Joey, Jonathan, Michael, and Matthew Dunphy, a good friend; especially to the trivia crew, and finally and most successfully, a committed farmer who created an oasis for his family at the bottom of Vanzant Bend Road in Belvidere, TN.
On a Sunday afternoon in 1971, he married Kathryn Lee Ferguson. The two had a lot in common; they liked the ocean and riding in fast boats, they had mutual friends, they were kind and beautiful people, and they understood the critical role of family in the equation of happiness. Both Larry and Kathy lost their dads suddenly during their first year of marriage, and their children never knew what it was like to have a grandfather. Larry made sure that his five grandchildren knew what is was like to have a present and supportive grandfather: scissor locks and eye-rips during summer wrestling matches, omni-present bowls of carefully cut up fruit at breakfast time, tea parties with a "Chip, chip, cheerio!" and a farm where his grandchildren could nurture their connection to the natural world and each other practicing archery, gathering eggs, driving tractors, riding motorcycles, and learning about life and death.
Although Larry and Kathy were married in 1971 in Long Beach, California, the social upheaval in Southern California and sudden deaths of their father's propelled them to make a decision that would alter the course of their family tree forever. In 1977, after the births of their two children, they moved to Tennessee after a brief and powerful visit with Kathy's Aunt Bu in Estill Springs. They saw in Tennessee all the things that California lacked: wide-open spaces, opportunity, optimism. They moved their young family of four to middle Tennessee and after settling originally in Winchester Springs, found themselves owners of an 86 acre farm in Belvidere.
As the father of two young children, Larry jumped right into the new community he and Kathy had joined. He was a member of Winchester First Baptist Church, he coached basketball and soccer at Broadview Elementary, helped build sets for theater performances, and made sure that Kathy could get her degree from MTSU. Larry drove to Nashville or even further to find work as a brick and stone mason. His work was impeccable and folks all over Winchester eventually knew to ask for Larry if they wanted high-quality masonry work done. His children carried innumerable loads of bricks and mud throughout their childhood and will always remember the pencils he sharpened with his pocket knife, the basketball courts and planters they built with him, and the smell of concrete.
When his children moved onto St. Andrew's-Sewanee School (SAS) in 1984, he learned how to be an important part of that community as well. Both Brian and PJ played soccer and basketball and PJ did theater and Brian played football. Larry, and Kathy, went to every single game they ever played and every theater performance. He became a surrogate parent for many of the young people with whom Brian and PJ were friends and whose parents could not make it to the games or performances. He loved being witness to young people being their best selves. His work was valued by the student body at SAS and he was honored by being asked to build a grill on campus in celebration of the class of 1996, PJ's graduating class.
Eventually PJ and Brian moved away from the farm and had families of their own. After a well-deserved retirement from the back-breaking work of masonry, Larry retired just in time for the next role life had in store for him. Larry was filled with glee at the birth of his first grandchild, Kathyrn Mae, and began his career of being World's Best Papa at her birth in 2002. The same devotion he had shown his children now turned to his grandchildren. Since his retirement he has had the opportunity to see Katy Mae's marching band and theater performances, her vocal recitals at Sewanee, Noel's soccer games all over the southeast, Margo's soccer games and theater performances in Santa Barbara, Alton's guitar concerts, and Jessup's love of the farm.
Each summer his children and grandchildren have found their ways back to the farm on Vanzant Bend Rd where Larry would ski them behind his 1964 race boat or pull them on the tube, or let them sit in his lap and drive the boat. He showed his children and his grandchildren how to live a full and rich and meaningful life. He sent them packages stuffed with candy and letters and quarters and his California grandchildren, in particular, will really miss the constant stream of mail from their Papa.
Larry loved music. He loved listening to music and was fortunate to see lots of live music throughout his life. He especially loved the Grateful Dead, KebMo, and Los Hombres Calientes. The house was always full of music: Bob Dylan, Jethro Tull, Creedence Clearwater, Steely Dan, and then Ice Cube and Sublime, The Beastie Boys. His children were always surrounded by music and value this way of seeing and understanding the world. In the 1980s when the Violent Femmes were popular in Southern Middle Tennessee, PJ and Brian used to get in trouble for fishing the Violent Femmes cassette out of the trash after Kathy threw it away. But it was Larry, not the kids.
Larry never went to college, but what he knew is not something he could have learned there. He knew how to make people feel cared for. He helped people see the best versions of themselves and he lived a life of service. It is fitting that he died on the MLK, Jr. federal holiday. He never took his good fortune for granted and always tried to pass on his good fortune in some way. Some people who knew him have used the word legend to describe Larry - a man whose actions and life conjure up an ideal of what is good and just. And that is appropriate and he will be remembered for his authenticity and goodness. His children are so thankful that Larry is a part of their wider social fabric. Larry's death has rippled through the networks of friends his children and grandchildren have built and our loss is being felt far and wide.
His family will also always remember how he sliced through the waves when he bodysurfed, his tattoos, his fires, his recycling and oil changing systems, his raceboat and how it feels to be in the boat or skiing behind the boat, his scratchy beard, his love of the Minnesota Vikings, his hatred of air travel, his t-shirt that said, "Don't taze me, bro," rides on the tractor, early mornings stripping tobacco, finding him perched solo at the top of four jacks of scaffolds, the drive across the country in the RV, the trips down the river, and the weekend and day he died. A legend to many, and to his family: a soul mate, an amazing dad, and the world's best Papa.
Larry is survived by his wife and partner of nearly 52 years, Kathy Elder; his sons, Michael Smith (Mylinh) of Killeen, TX; Brian Thomas Elder (Angela), of Locust Grove, GA; his daughter, PJ Carmean (Doug), of Santa Barbara, CA; grandchildren, Kathryn Mae and Noel Thomas Elder, and Margo Ross, Alton Ward, and Jessup Branch Carmean.
We hope you will be able to join us for a going away party on the farm in Tennessee on Sunday, February 12th, 2023 from 12-4pm.
In lieu of flowers, if you would like to make contributions to the organizations Larry supported and cared about during his life you can make contributions in memory of Larry to St. Andrew's-Sewanee School or St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. If you have stories about Larry that you want his family to remember, please send an email to PJ (pjcarmean@gmail.com) and she will make sure the family receives the message.
Moore-Cortner Funeral Home, 300 First Ave NW, Winchester, TN 37398, (931)-967-2222, www.moorecortner.com.